The Binding

  “That’s just it , Jules,” I say looking down at the snow . “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m so confused. It’s just so much for one person to handle, you know? I mean, two nights ago I was just a girl from San Diego who just finished high school , not sure if I want ed to go to college, running in the park minding my own business and this man, this e lf…this Sidhe p rince knocks me down.” I pause for a moment then quietly finish , “I haven’t been able to find my balance since.”

  “Lil, are you falling for Tharin?”

  I look at her stun ned that she would know how I secretly feel about him, “No! Of course I don’t, what do you mean? No, oh please.”

  “Sister, once you admit it to yourself, things will be a lot easier, trust me,” she states as she looks at Tolan, who is now working on Alorn. I watch her face as it lights up just from looking at him.

  I shake my head, “I can’t, Jules.”

  “And why the hell not?”

  “Kalis.”

  “Oh,” she says nodding her head slowly.

  “Yeah, oh.”

  “I don’t think , ” she starts slowly, “that Tharin has the same feelings for her as he once did.”

  I roll my eyes at her saying, “Oh please, Jules. You told me yourself that Mellis said Tharin’s in love with her. Everyone is in love with her .” I glance over at Tolan and correct myself, “Okay, almost everyone.”

  She gives me a smug smile before saying, “Yeah, well, it doesn’t seem like that anymore. I mean Tharin is definitely male material, but he’s not like any of the guys we knew from school. None of them are,” she says waving her hand toward the others. “And I’m not just talking about the ears. It’s like you told me about Tolan, Tharin’s a really good guy. From what little I know of him…a bit bossy , but still . I’ve seen him save you time and time again. He worries over you and watch es after you , especially when you’re not looking.”

  “Really?” I ask , surprise d . “It doesn’t matter, Jules. He’s with someone else. Someone w ho’s waiting for him in Velesi. Besides, when I confronted him about it, he didn’t deny it.”

  “What?” she says in a raised voice that causes the others to look our way. I grab at her arm to quiet her down. She looks about and then back at me saying , “That b astard! Are you serious? You confronted him about Kalis and he didn’t deny his feelings for her? Oh, he’s the low est of the low. What a scum b ag…you stay away from him, do you hear me?”

  I sit for a minute looking at the disgusted face of my oldest fr iend and I start to laugh. She’s so ridiculous and I love her for it. Julia sees the change in my mood and smiles satisfied that I’m no longer sulking.

  “Listen,” she softly demands, “you need to figure out what you really want when it comes to Tharin. I know that this wedding thing isn’t something you want to talk about, but Tolan told me it’s a really big deal. If you don’t marry Tharin, there could be war among the clans. But, if it’s not what you want, you have my full support, you know that. I just want you to start thinking about it seriously and how you’re going to handle Tharin when you tell him.”

  “Tell him? Are you nuts? He’ll tie me up, gag me and marry me anyway ,” I answer shaking my head. “I can’t marry him . He’s in love with someone else. I’m sorry about the whole war thing, but seriously Jules, how is that my problem?”

  She’s quiet for a moment and says , “You know, Lil, you’ve always looked out for everyone else your entire life. First your brother, then me, then Marilyn, and there’s never been a time that I can remember you turning your back on us, or anyone who asked you for help. Do you know what it means to go to war? Remember all the news stories of what’s happening in Afghanistan ? All the pictures and news reels we watched of the outcome ; dead bodies in the streets while small babies sit nearby crying for their mothers. Have you forgotten? From what Tolan tells me, many will be killed . Many left homeless; men, women, and children, just like those we’ve seen. Could you really allow that to happen if you had the power to prevent it? Can you turn your back on that?”

  Her words weigh heavily on me until I feel my anger rising, “How can you put that on me? How can you tell me that I’ll be responsible for all those deaths? How can you?”

  “I know, I know,” she comforts , backing down. “I’m sorry, but getting married is the least of your problems. You have to start looking at the big picture here. Okay , fine. Tharin loves Kalis. Then just marry him. After that you can leave and find Lucas, and then go back to San Diego . If what you say is true, then Tharin won’t argue when you do. Maybe he’ll even help you find Lucas.”

  Tolan’s words about how he and Tharin would kill Lucas for what he did to their sister linger in my mind . “I don’t know Jules, I’ll have to think about it,” I say dejectedly.

  She nudges me again. When I turn to her she gives me an encouraging smile. I realize then that Tolan’s concerns and calm ways have influence d my friend. And, I now know that she won’t be retu r ning to San Diego with me. I reach for her and give her a tight hug. As she moves back, I see Tharin walk up to Tolan, handing the bag back to him. Tolan glances back toward u s, and then back at Tharin. He’s talking to him as Tharin stands without saying a word. When Tharin doesn’t reply , Tolan sighs and nods. After placing a hand on each other’s shoulder s , Tharin turns and walks away.

  I stand quickly realizing that he means to leave. He stops a few yards out to turn and loo k my way. I take a step toward him but in the blink of an eye, he’s gone.

  *

  Chapter Forty-Eight Tharin

  I push myself to my limit, running between the trees at breakneck speed. I feel my energy start to drain as I put several miles behind me in the span of an hour. Come to think of it, how long have I been running? Maybe longer than an hour. I don’t even know, or care. However, I’m no longer angry and the need to throttle Lil y has also passed. I slow down knowing that I’ll have to back track soon. I told Tolan I woul d scout ahead. I left him instructions that as soon as it was safe to move Alorn , to start moving toward the g lacier. Losing the vehicles is definitely a setback, but it won’t keep us from moving forward.

  We both knew it was a bad idea for me to leave . With both Mellis and Alorn down I’m leaving him and Phoris to fend for themselves. Yet, I had to put distance between Lily and me .

  Lily’s words come rush ing back at me. “Substitute”? For what, who? Kalis? Is she kidding me? Sometimes I just want to put my hands on her and shake some sense into that stubborn brain of hers. I shake my head as I slow down to a trotting pace . I did put my hands on her, but it was only because I thought she was in danger again. I don’t remember ever being this way with Kalis. When I heard the she-wolf in my head say to make haste, I thought of nothing else. And when I got to Lily , I was out of my head with worry .

  I slow to a walk and think about that. I was out of my head with worry . I went to her blindly, urgently, worried all the way and for what? Just to have her accuse me of manhandling her!

  I finally come to a stop, standing in the middle of the woods. I look around me and see the trees for the first time since taking off. I’m surprise d to feel wetness come through my boots and I look down . I am ankle deep in snow. I turn and look at the melted trail I left behind me, tapering off to several footprints coming to an end at my feet. I sigh heavily and shake my head, so much for discretion. I lightly hop up on the clear snow and start walking west, not leaving a trail from where I once stood. I take my time moving in and out of the trees, before back tracking from the way I came, my anger almost completely gone. Does Lily really feel that way , ab out not wanting me to touch her again? Does she want me to leave her alone? I can’t see that happening. I will marry her whether or not she likes it . I am not leaving her alone and I will damn sure be touching her!

  I slow my pace once again. This is entirely my fault to begin with. Everything that has happened to her is more than anyone should be expected to handle. If I was gentler with her f rom the start, mayb
e she wouldn’t think of me as a bastard. She ’s gotten how much sleep ? Less than eight hours since we’ve met? Then there’s the Demlok, the Ange, the whole idea of havin g to marry a complete stranger to the healing ordeal with Alorn . I don’t know how she did that, but then again , I didn’t give her a chance to explain anything . And then there ’s this whole business with Kalis. I’m surprise d Lily didn’t lose it sooner.

  I stop beneath a large pine and swiftly leap to its lowest branch, holding my breath so as not to shake it upon landing. Thr ough the branches I look toward my melted trail and wait. I felt the presence and caught the scent at the last minute. I watch as a black hound, bigger than any dog I’ve ever seen , appear s . With h is nose to the ground, he follows my trail until it reaches the area where I came to a stop. The beast lift s his head, sniffing the air. I can feel the “wrongness” about him , but I can’t put my finger on what that would be. His black coat is matted, caked with mud and snow, and his eyes seem to match its coat’s color, black as coal. His snout is misshapen. He circles the area where the trail ends , whining to himself and then growls bearing his brownish-yellow fangs. Finally, he sits and wait s , but not for long.

  The lone hooded figure appears shortly, following the beast along the melted trail. His clothing tells me he’s Sidhe, but his scent tells me otherwise. What Sidhe would have such an animal? The master of the beast approaches it, and then bends down at the spot where I had stopped. He touches his fingers to the melted snowed area and pauses.

  “Ah, the future king,” he sneers softly.

  He stands and removes his hood. Orc! I watch him closely , trying to commit his features to memory. His face is unfamiliar to me, and his scent is one that I’ve not encountered before. The Sidhe cape around his shoulders flips up from a passing breeze and I see the lined rack of knives along his chest . The cape is clasp ed at the front, but I can almost guarantee that he has a set of knives lying upon his back . I glance at his hip and see a sheathed blade and I’m pretty certain he has a matching pair on the other side. I look down at his boots , each possessing four small daggers lined up like wings . Damn…an assassin , or worse, a bounty hunter. I wonder how much he was offered for our “detainment”. This is all we need, not only do we now have to look out for the Ange, but bounty hunters like this one. I had hope d only to have to worry about the Ange for now, at least until we were within Velesi borders.

  In a flash, I leap upward as two of his daggers shoot out at me, slicing through the space I just occupied. One of the daggers hit s a nearby branch, burying itself and causing the tree to shake. It’s all I need to hide my movements. I stay still, watching for his next move from two branches up . In a low crouch, he glares at the tree, two more daggers in one hand and his blade in the other. The beast is ready, fangs showing, but waits for his master’s command.

  After what seem s like an eternity, the beast finally sits back whining softly. The o rc , satisfied, straightens while scratching at his chin with his blade . I continue to watch , deciding on whether to take him out or head back. I shake my head in frustration . Like the others, it’s been a long arduous journey for me, and I’ve had even less sleep than Lily. Not only that, but I’ve spent all my energy trying to purge my anger. I may have been able to take on the assassin if he was alone, but with the beast fighting next to him , and me without Cessa, I would be pushing it.

  Finally, the assassin moves on, his beast scouting before him. Deciding on my next course, I slip onto a branch of a nearby tree and work my way back to Lily and the others.

  I think of Lily. I know that despite her words , she loves me, and deep down she knows that I love her too.

  *

  Chapter Forty-Nine ~ Lily ~

  He hates me , I whine to myself as I put one foot in front of the other.

  Julia and I are carrying the bags, two each. Mellis is strap ped to Tolan’s back, while Alorn is attached to Phoris’. Prior to leaving, Tolan and Phoris made two racks from fallen branches. Att ached to the back side of each rack are two long sturdy branches about six feet in length. They tied an invalid to the top of each one, strapping them on so that their heads are immobile. Their legs are bent at the knees and their feet are tied to the bottom of the rack, keeping them from dragging and getting in the carrier’s way. With ropes fasten ed to each side of the rack, Tolan and Phoris are able to carry them like large back pack s . Bending slightly forward, the long poles are lifted and kept from hindering their progress. When we come to a stop, they st and straight and relax backward , allowing the poles to hit the ground giving them support and relief while they rest. I notice that even with the extra weight, Phoris and Tolan leave no trace of their footsteps.

  Not that it mattered. Julia and I make our way through the snow next to them leaving an obvious tra il behind us. Besides the head gear, Phoris also gave us miniature ski -look ing attachments that he strapped to the bottom of our shoes. At first, I was skeptical about them providing any support, because of the odd design. Once on, though , they prove d useful as we were no longer ankle -deep in snow. We were each given two shaved branches to use as ski poles. Lastly, we were each given sunglasses. I was excited because I’ve never been skiing before, but after the first mile all I could think about was when I could take them off. Julia was able to find her rhythm first, being the athlete that she is. Me, it took a little longer, but eventually I got the hang of it .

  I don’t know how long we’ve been walking or where we’re going. After what felt like hours of trudging along, all I can hear is my own labored breathing. I think of Tharin and how he looked after I yelled at him. I have never felt so sorry , and all I want to do is tell him so. I feel alone , and worse , I feel abandoned without him. I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the feeling, but I can’t . If only he would come back. Tolan told us that Tharin went ahead to scout out the area . He wanted to make sure it’s safe for us, b ut I know he left because of me.

  It seems as if we’ve been walking for days . I feel my legs cramping up, until they finally go numb. I have o ne of the bags on my back, the other on my shoulder. I can’t feel my arms or shoulders due to the numbness . At one point , I had on e bag on each shoulder but it kept me off balance on the strange snow shoes. I watch Julia in front of me as she continues on. She ’s never complained , and I’m sure she’s in pain , as well. Yet, I feel like I’ve done nothing but whine and put everyone in danger. And , for me to go off on Tharin when he was just worried about me …I feel like a complete fool. So , I keep moving forward ignoring the numbness and not saying a word.

  I’ve been keeping my head down since the wind picked up. I watch the snow as I continue to walk . I realize it’s not as bright as when we first started. For the first time , I notice the shadows are growing longer and deeper in some areas. All the walking, the coat and head gear, the wrappings on my feet and legs have kept the cold out so far . Now I’m starting to feel a significant drop in temperature.

  Up ahead I hear Julia grunt and see her fall to her knees. I hurry over as Tolan takes a moment to undo the rack holding Mellis and lies it down gently. He’s at her side seconds after me.

  “I’m okay,” says Julia smiling at us, embarrassed.

  “Are you sure ?” questions Tolan, looking her over and helping her to stand.

  “Yeah, yeah, I must have fallen asleep on my feet and didn’t see where I was going. Or I tripped over something.”

  We look around to see dead branches sticking out of the ground. I didn’t notice them at first either. How far have we come?

  “We’re almost at the shelter, just up that side,” says Tolan pointing to a rock wall going straight up the side of the mountain.

  Julia and I look at the wall and then at each other. She turns to Tolan and say s , “I don’t think we can climb that.”

  He smiles at us knowingly, “Don’t worry about that. We’ll get you up there. Come on.” He puts his arm around Julia and walks her back to where he left Mellis. I stand for a minute looking up at
the wall again. We still have a ways to go before reach ing it . I’m hoping we’ll be able to rest before making that climb.

  In the time it took us to reach the bottom of the wall, Julia had fallen twice more . The wind has picked up significantly and the Sidhe cloth no longer seems to ward off the cold . At one point, Tolan tied ropes around our waist to keep us tethered to him and Phoris. It helped at times . When I felt I couldn’t go on, the tugging of the rope kept me moving .

  By the time we finally make it to the wall, I’ve lost all the feeling in my legs and arms. I don’t know how much longer I can remain standing as Tolan unties the ropes that kept us connected. I make the last few steps to the wall dropping the bag from my shoulder and not caring about the one on my back. I fall against it and slowly slide down to the ground. My throat hurts from gasping for air, and my chest hurts because the air I can get in is too cold for my lungs to handle. I miss the warm sun of San Diego ; I even miss the heat of Las Vegas as I imagine myself standing in it.

  Julia drops next to me, almost landing on top of me. I look over at her and she glances at me with hooded eyes. Like me , she left the bag on her back on, too exhausted to remove it. Tolan comes over and hunches down so that he’s eye level with us.

  “We need to take Mellis and Alorn up first,” he says in our heads . “I want you two to stay here. The wall will give you some protection from the wind.”

  We both look at each other wondering where he thought we would go. Then Julia looks at him and nods. He looks at me waiting and I do the same. He stays for a moment longer staring at both of us before he finally gets up and walks back to Phoris.

  Julia gives me her hand and I grab it. We huddle closer to each other for comfort and warmth. Our heads together, we try to watch Tolan and Phoris work on getting Al orn and Mellis up the huge wall. The wind picks up even more and before we realize it , the skies darken cutting our visibility so that seeing the elves is almost impossible. I glance at Julia and see her pull the heavy hood down to cover her eyes as the wind continues to throw snow and debris at us. By now the wind is so loud and fierce that if Julia tried to sa y anything, I don’t think I would be able to hear her. I strain to see the elves and can barely make out their silhouettes.