Rage

  “If that’s all it is,” Emi said, before Addison could respond to his request, “I won’t, but I’m just gonna go on the record now. I’m with AJ on this. I don’t care for her either, Isaiah. There’s something about her that hasn’t sat right with me ever since that first day he brought her around.”

  Addison wouldn’t comment on that. She felt bad that she knew a little more about Kelli than any of them, but this was beginning to feel weird, and she did not want to be in the middle of it when she still didn’t know enough. All she could hope was that tonight was just a one-night friends’ thing as Nathan had implied earlier. Then she’d never have to mention what she knew.

  “I won’t say anything,” she said and smiled when Isaiah winked at her and mouthed the words thank you.

  Emi had already begun to head to the ladies’ room. Isaiah took off in the opposite direction and Addison followed Emi.

  “I’m cornering that girl first chance I get her alone,” Emi said, once inside the ladies’ room. “I’ll be the first to admit relationships can start off complicated.” Before Addison could high five her and give her an Amen sister, Emi added, “You and AJ seem to be the exception, but I’ll give Kelli that much. Only Nathan has two sisters. Why is she asking Isaiah for advice? She must not know Nathan too well. Word of warning,” she said as the line to get into a stall moved slowly. “My husband is probably the only guy in this family now who might have the patience to hear his girl is secretly seeking the advice of another man, even if it were his own brother. The only reason I’ll be keeping this from Nathan is because I don’t want any tension between my brothers, especially not because of her.”

  When they were finally done and on their way back to meet the rest of the gang, Addison was still pondering one part of Emi’s haughty little speech in the ladies’ room. Sure, her relationship with AJ had started off pretty much without a hitch, but it was far from uncomplicated. As much as she loved AJ now, one thing would never change. Clair came before anything for her.

  She’d suspected, even before she met AJ and thought things might move forward with him, that any relationship she ever had would be complicated because there were certain things she was adamant about. While AJ accepted the fact well enough in the beginning that she’d never share about Clair’s dad with him, she was beginning to think otherwise as things got more serious.

  Emi was absolutely right about one thing, and Addison had figured as much even before getting to know AJ. The longer she was with him, the clearer it was his patience was as short as his fuse, especially when it came to someone not being entirely forthcoming. It worried her because he’d made a few things all too clear. It was just a matter of time before his feelings of entitlement grew to him demanding to know everything about his girl. Addison was willing to tell him everything he needed to know, but there were some things she’d be drawing the line at.

  That’s when she was certain things would get complicated.

  ~~~

  The rest of the evening went beautifully well with no more drama. Kelli didn’t run off or anything as she had the last time they’d been in Los Angeles. AJ even won an award. He dedicated it to his siblings, to whom he attributed his getting where he was, adding that there was nothing he wouldn’t do for them because he owed them the world. He also thanked Addison’s dad—his mentor—also adding that he owed him for so much more than just what he’d taught him in the time he’d known him, and smiled at Addison.

  “You know I would’ve thanked you too, but I figured there’s going to be enough hype about us arriving together, our holding hands all night, and the fact that I can’t stop doing this.” He leaned in and kissed her softly as they danced on the dance floor at the award-show after party. “Not to mention how much you know they’ll be blowing up the confrontation between that asshole Bigsby and me.” The sudden glare in his eyes softened as something else seemed to come to him. “You may have a lot of explaining to do already when you get back to Clair.”

  “I’m sure she’s already guessed as much; she’s so sharp-eyed. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s figured out that I’m holding out on her and just waiting for me to come clean.” Addison smiled at him, running a finger over his lips. “It’s probably time, anyway, to let her in on us. I get the feeling she won’t be against it at all.”

  “Us,” he whispered against her lips. “Why does that excite me so much?”

  Addison smiled big, feeling like she might burst. It was still so hard to believe that AJ Romero was in love with her, despite all her imperfections. She’d always known her being a single mom might be a deal breaker for a lot of men, but especially so for someone like AJ, who had such a vast choice of young single women with no baggage. Not only had it not been a deterrent for him, he acted as if Clair were a bonus. He loved his little Clair Bear, and there was nothing disingenuous about it. She saw it in his bright eyes when he was around Clair.

  It almost scared Addison how quickly and perfectly everything had come together for them. “It excites me too, but it also scares me a little,” she said, her words making him pull back a bit.

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. All of this just feels so perfect. Too perfect.”

  AJ frowned for a second then smiled sweetly. “Aren’t you the one who’s always telling me to think positive?” She smiled back, nodding. “It feels perfect because it is perfect. Just go with it.” He must’ve seen the apprehension still, so he nodded. “Okay, I can understand how that might be easier said than done. I’ll admit I was a little scared in the beginning. I kept thinking getting involved with you was a risk for several reasons. It might ruin my friendship with your dad and Clair, and that would ultimately affect my career. I thought it in the beginning, but I know so now. There is no way”—he shook his head, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath—“no way I’d be able to continue to be around your dad or Clair if you and I weren’t together anymore and I might have to see or hear about you with someone else.”

  Her eyes widened. This wasn’t helping. She didn’t want to worry about the possibility of him leaving the Padres or, worse, baseball because of her.

  “I promise you, if that ever happened, I’d move back to—”

  “It’s not gonna happen,” he insisted, kissing her nose. “Come here.”

  The swanky Hollywood party they were attending was on one of the more famous rooftop bar/banquet halls in the area. They strolled around the side, taking in the spectacular views of the city’s skyline, until they found a private cozy sitting area overlooking West Hollywood.

  “Wow,” she said, taking it all in as AJ pulled her closer to him.

  Addison leaned against his firm body. She couldn’t remember when the last time was she’d felt this safe—loved. At the moment, she felt truly blessed, and she hated the lingering troubling thoughts that still plagued her. Too good to be true.

  “I have a confession I’m gonna make to you that feels wrong in so many ways,” he said, instantly grabbing her attention. “But at the same time, it finally has me believing in Fate.”

  One of the young ladies walking around with trays of wine and champagne glasses stopped by their sitting area to offer them some. They each took a glass, thanking her. Addison turned back to AJ, beyond curious about his confession.

  He took a sip of his wine then continued. “I don’t know what it is, Addison, but it’s like everything I’ve done in life led me to you and Clair. I was thinking about this one of the nights I was alone in my hotel room, watching television. Some guy being interviewed said something that made me think of something I heard often several years back. That everything happens for a reason. The guy on TV was asked if he could go back and change anything in his life what would it be? He said he wouldn’t change a single thing about his past, good or bad, because everything he’d gone through in life was part of his destiny. He was content with how everything turned out, and if he went back and changed even the bad, he might not be where he’s at now.” br />
  He stopped and looked out at the view again, but Addison could see he wasn’t admiring it. He was pondering what he’d just said. Then he turned back to her, his expression almost a remorseful one.

  “If my mother hadn’t been murdered, I might not be here with you tonight.” He shook his head. “No, I know I wouldn’t be here because I would’ve never moved here from Dallas, and you would’ve never seen the local news article about the brawl I’d had during my finals in high school.”

  “Trust me, AJ. There’s no way you wouldn’t have been discovered,” she said, squeezing his hand. “My dad’s said it many times. What you have is a gift. It was just a matter of time before someone else snatched you up. As a matter of fact, he said he wasn’t the only one inquiring about you at the time.”

  AJ shook his head. “But I would’ve ended up somewhere else, possibly never met your dad and then Clair, which ultimately led me to you. I might still be as clueless about how good life can be when you find the one as I was before I met you.”

  The sweetness and utterly genuine tenderness she heard in his voice and saw in his eyes choked her up.

  “I hate to say it, but only because I know it’s not possible, but if I could go back and remove that tragedy in my life, I wouldn’t.” He winced, shaking his head, and then took another sip of his wine. “You remind me of my mother when you talk about stopping at nothing to protect your daughter. You’d probably sacrifice anything for her too.”

  “Anything,” Addison whispered, still choked up and getting more so as the passion in his words continued. “I’d give my life for her.”

  “Exactly,” he said. “It almost feels like it’s what my mom did for us. I know she couldn’t have known what her tragic death would mean for us, but a tiny part of me wants to believe she knew the moment she reached the other side and would gladly do it again—sacrifice her life for her kids. Because of her death and ultimately my dad’s too, we moved to California. My brothers and I got the careers we’d always dreamed of, and my sisters each met their soul mates. And I met you. Do you think I’m gonna let my parents’ sacrifices be wasted?”

  Addison smiled, the tears blurring her vision now. “No,” she whispered.

  “You bet your sweet ass I’m not,” he said, kissing her head. “Don’t worry about things feeling too perfect. Perfect is what it’s supposed to be, and trust me. I’ve been around long enough to know life doesn’t stay perfect forever, so if anything goes wrong, don’t panic. We got this. In the meantime, enjoy the perfect while it lasts.”

  The band starting another song got his attention, and he sat up a bit. “Is that . . .?”

  Addison listened to what she could only imagine he meant by that. The speakers were blasting someone strumming the guitar on stage, but she couldn’t make out what song it was.

  “Oh shit, I think it is,” he said with a bigger smile, and Addison turned to him curiously as he stood up, placing his wine glass on the small table in their sitting area. He held out his hand to her. “Don’t laugh and don’t you dare breathe a word of this to anyone, especially my brothers.”

  Warmed and grateful for his sudden silliness, Addison smiled as she took his hand and stood up. “I won’t. What is it?”

  “Talk about Fate for them to play this song at this moment.” He smiled again as the guy began singing, and Addison knew immediately what song it was.

  “Thinking Out Loud,” she said, nodding. “I love that song.”

  “I don’t,” he said, taking her in his arms for a romantic dance right there under the light of a thousand stars. “Well, I never did anyway. I’ve never been into romantic slow songs, so I usually switch the channels on the radio when I hear something like this start up. And I certainly don’t go researching lyrics.” He smirked, looking down at her. “But I recently caught the tail end of the song and a few of the words, and my ass actually looked up the lyrics. Then I couldn’t get enough of hearing it because it made me think of us. What are the odds of them playing this right now?”

  Breathing in deeply, Addison leaned her face against his chest, listening to the guy singing and hummed along.

  People fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe it’s all part of plan . . .

  Maybe this did feel perfect because it was, and as AJ said, it probably wouldn’t always be, but she was done worrying about it. She’d have that talk with Clair soon, and she was certain her daughter would be elated. They’d be able to stop sneaking around, and she’d just enjoy the perfect as long as it lasted.

  Hearing AJ say he believed many things in his life led him to her, she now thought about how depressed she’d been once upon a time: The awful time in her life when she thought she’d made the biggest mistake ever. The pain she’d gone through but rarely spoke of when she felt the rejection from someone she’d been so sure cared more about her. If she hadn’t gone through that, if things had been different and Clair’s donor had stuck around, she wouldn’t be here with AJ tonight either.

  All those years, despite the anguish she’d gone through, she always considered Clair such a blessing—the best thing to happen in her life. Addison had always known only good things could come from having had Clair, and this was further proof. If anything ever went wrong, she’d seen it in AJ’s eyes, heard it in his words, but most importantly felt it in his love for her; they did have this.

  She listened quietly for a moment to the rest of the words of the song, smiling even bigger with each one. Then she looked up at her perfect boyfriend. How in the world she’d gotten so lucky she’d never know, but she was ready to accept it now. This was really happening.

  AJ glanced down and smiled at her just as whimsically as she knew she was smiling at him. “I love you, Andrés Josiah Romero,” she whispered.

  He groaned, hugging her even tighter and kissing the top of her head. “I love you too, baby.”

  They danced for a little longer until he spoke again. “Okay, I have another confession to make.”

  She glanced up at him, smiling. “What’s that?”

  “Hearing you say you love me using my full name actually got me hard.”

  Addison laughed out loud, but it secretly thrilled her. “Well, then maybe we should get out of here.”

  “You see,” he said, taking her hand and already hurrying back toward the party. “I’m telling you it’s like we’re soul mates. You totally read my mind.”

  Laughing even more, Addison felt her heart completely swell as they rushed back to say good-bye to everyone.

  Chapter 19

  AJ

  “Are you my mom’s boyfriend now?”

  AJ’s eyes flew open. He’d been taking a rest on the weight bench in the team’s gym, eyes closed, when Clair’s words startled him. She stood over him, holding her little notebook.

  “W-what?” he asked, as he sat up slowly in an effort to stall and come up with the best way to respond to the unexpected question.

  “Harrison assumed you were her boyfriend way back when he first met you, but I told him no because you weren’t.”

  AJ stared at her, trying to figure out if she was upset or just curious.

  “Then later I asked my mom a few times if you were because, even with all the parental controls on my tablet and phone, I can still read sports-related news. There’s been a lot of speculation about you two. My mom said, just like the bogus stories about you being my dad, all the other stories were made up too, for the sake of getting more subscribers. But Harrison sent me photos just now of you two last night at the awards show, holding hands and looking a lot more like a couple than just friends.” She shrugged. “It’s okay if you are. I just feel kind of dumb because all this time I’ve been setting him straight on this and pretty much everything else.” She put her little hand on her hip and frowned. “I don’t like being set straight, Andrés, especially not by a boy.”

  AJ refrained from grinning. Her reprimanding expression was too adorable. He was relieved she was okay with it and appeared more aggravated
about being set straight than freaked out about his relationship with her mom. For a second, he considered just telling her the truth but then decided not to. This was something Addison should tell her, not him. She said last night she’d be coming clean with Clair soon, but evidently she still hadn’t if Clair was questioning him about it.

  AJ sat up now. “Your mom said she’d explained to you that since neither of us had a date to this thing last night we’d be each other’s dates,” he said as casually as he could. “Dates hold hands and, you know, act like they’re, well . . . dating.”

  Clair was far too clever to not know the jig was up and he was still trying to deny the obvious. He could see it in her unimpressed reaction to his explanation. So he tried changing the subject. “Ask your mom when she gets off work. She’ll tell you. But, hey, since you mentioned Dad, have you heard anything else about Fred? Your mom talk to him lately?”

  There was a noticeable change in her demeanor, and the playful near eye roll she’d given AJ’s previous response disappeared. AJ’s muscles were instantly tense. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this now.” She paused as if to think about then shook her head and continued. “It’s probably nothing bad, but I think that’s who she’s with now. She’s not at work like she told me she had to be. I heard her on the phone again this morning. She agreed to meet with him so they could talk.”

  “Fred?” AJ asked, his insides lighting up fast.

  Addison lied to him.

  She’d specifically said she had something come up last minute at work and wouldn’t make it out to the ballpark with Clair and her dad, until later in the day when it got closer to the start of his game that afternoon.

  “Yes.” Clair nodded. “Her saying his name is what got my attention in the first place. But you can’t tell her, AJ. I don’t want her to know I know. Just like with you two. It’s why I stopped asking her about it weeks ago. I’ve had a feeling you two were more than friends for a while now but figured she’d tell me when she was ready to. I only asked you now because I thought you might have a better response than your lame one and I could still try and counter Harrison’s text.”