Rage

  “Oh, I get that and I’m totally with you.” Sabian went quiet, surprising AJ that he wasn’t going to push this, but a few seconds later, he continued. “I was just wondering if there wasn’t any more to it.”

  “Nope,” AJ said simply.

  “Alright. Alright,” Sabian said, a bit too agreeable, and though AJ still hadn’t opened his eyes, he could feel Sabian push his seat back.

  The guy finally went quiet, and AJ kept his eyes shut, hoping to get some shut eye on their four-hour flight. But he didn’t lie back like Sabian. He preferred sitting up.

  “It’s good to know though,” Sabian started up again, and if AJ didn’t still have his eyes closed, he’d roll them in exasperation. “Because with all due respect, she is pretty hot.” AJ opened one eye but waited. “Clair did mention once or twice how she’s never met her dad. I’ve never dated a chick with any kids, but with a girl like Addison, I think being that kid’s part-time pappy would be worth the sacrifice. If you know what I mean.”

  AJ had opened both eyes now and was glaring at Sabian. Sabian squeezed an eye open suddenly and grinned when he saw AJ staring at him.

  “I knew it,” he said, opening up the other eye and bringing his seat upright. “How romantic,” he said in a coddling voice then laughed but brought his voice down when AJ gave him an even more murderous glare. “When I saw how tight you and that little girl were getting, I wondered what her mom might look like and if you might not hit it off with her too. Then she showed up looking all like damn and shit, and I knew you two were gonna have some kind of connection. How could you not? But I still wasn’t sure. Then you went off on Biggs, and Biggs”—he lowered his voice even more, glancing around the first-class cabin where some of the rest of the team were sitting—“is big.”

  “I don’t give a fuck,” AJ muttered with a frown.

  “I know you don’t. You’re just as big. But even then I thought, okay, I could still be wrong. Biggs was being disrespectful, and it could just be you reacting in the heat of the moment. You’re known for that, but then you gave that speech today warning everybody on the team they’d be answering to you if you ever heard them talking about her, and I knew I’d nailed it!”

  Sabian smiled too smugly, even as AJ shook his head. “It’s nothing like that,” AJ lied, glancing out his window, pissed that he’d forgotten Sabian would be the type of guy who paid attention to all the romantic details.

  “But it’s alright if it is,” Sabian said.

  AJ turned to him, feeling even more annoyed. “Is it really? Thanks. I’m glad to hear you’d be okay with it.”

  Sabian laughed again. “Look at you, man. It’s so obvious this chick has you all twisted and shit.”

  “No, she doesn’t,” AJ insisted and part of him meant it.

  So he was intrigued by her. Impressed. Big deal. He still didn’t know much about her. Just because she wasn’t seeing Clair’s dad and she hadn’t dated anyone on the team, didn’t mean she wasn’t seeing someone else, a non-baseball player. Addison could turn heads. That’s for damn sure. The guys had already made that infuriatingly clear. It wasn’t just his relationship with Clair that had him struggling to keep his cool around her. She’d gotten a little weird on him when he’d brought up Clair’s dad. A little too touchy. He didn’t know what that was about and wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

  Even with four siblings AJ was close to, it wasn’t surprising the only other time he’d had this kind of conversation with anyone was with Sabian. Why the hell hadn’t he thought of that before he took the seat next to him? The other girlie conversation he’d had regarding feelings and what not was, of course, all Sabian’s doing. And the only reason AJ had no choice but to actually participate in such a conversation was because it involved AJ’s younger sister. Sabian had dated her for a few months way back and had done the right thing, asking AJ if he’d be okay with it first. But then Sabian had taken it upon himself to talk about his feelings for her with AJ. Nothing raunchy, of course, but it’d been the only time AJ had been forced to have one of those types of conversations.

  Now he had a four-hour plane ride ahead of him, sitting next to a guy who looked ready to analyze something that didn’t even exist. Well, AJ wasn’t having it.

  “I know as much about her as you do,” AJ said, even if that wasn’t entirely true, but then added something that was. “Just because Clair’s dad isn’t around doesn’t mean her mom doesn’t have someone else keeping her company.”

  “Wouldn’t Clair have mentioned her mom having a boyfriend?”

  “Not if her mom hasn’t told her about it.” AJ had the feeling Sabian would be countering anything of AJ’s theories. So before Sabian could, AJ continued but lowered his voice. “Look. Obviously she’s attractive, and I’d be lying if I said the thought of hanging out with her again hadn’t crossed my mind. But she’s the coach’s daughter and Clair’s mom. It’d be too awkward if things didn’t work out.” He leaned a little closer to Sabian and made his next statement through his teeth. “And I’m done talking about this here.”

  Finally Sabian pulled his seat back again, but AJ could have kicked himself when they finally landed in San Diego. He’d completely forgotten he’d told Sabian he could stay with him during their home series this time. Unlike the rest of the team, most of whom didn’t live in the San Diego area or even California, Sabian wouldn’t be parting ways with him at the airport.

  The moment they were alone in the cab Sabian started in on him again. “I don’t see why it wouldn’t work out between you and Addi.”

  “Are you kidding me with this shit?” AJ turned to him, beyond annoyed now. “And why are you calling her that?”

  Sabian laughed. “Coach calls her that.”

  “You’re not her dad.”

  That made Sabian laugh even more and shake his head. Then as if he wasn’t annoying enough, he added a slow whistle. “Ooh boy, this is gonna be fun.”

  “You know what?” AJ said, pulling out his phone. “I changed my mind about you staying with me. This guy can take you back to the hotel when he drops me off.”

  Sabian continued with his exasperating laughter even as AJ ignored him and checked his phone. As fun as it normally was to hang out with Sabian, because in the last year he’d become one of his closest friends, AJ seriously wished he didn’t have to be around him so much right then. His mind was still too muddled when it came to thoughts of Addison. He didn’t need Sabian adding to the confusion.

  Truth was AJ had begun to lean towards playing it safe and not doing anything about his attraction to her. It was just an attraction, and he could easily take care of those kinds of temptations elsewhere. Never mind that ever since he’d met Addison he hadn’t been the least bit tempted by anyone else. It was as infuriating as it was unnerving.

  The reality was AJ had long ago accepted that any type of real relationship with anyone would be nearly impossible with his career. He’d seen and heard it too many times. Guys would get into serious relationships on the team only to be single within months when things hadn’t worked out because they were on the road so much. Even the married guys had issue after issue in their marriages.

  His attraction to Addison was nothing more than forbidden-fruit syndrome. He’d get over it soon enough.

  Chapter 6

  AJ

  The first two games in San Diego were night games. Clair didn’t make it out to the games on school nights. AJ was secretly glad it was almost summer. She’d mentioned wanting to travel with her grandparents during the summer as often as she could to follow the games.

  AJ kept going back and forth about whether or not he should even consider trying for anything more with Addison. Though admittedly when Clair had told him about wanting to travel with the team this summer he’d secretly hoped that meant bringing Mom along for the ride. But then she did have to work for a living, so that might not be realistic. As unrealistic as any kind of serious relationship AJ might have with anyone would be, trying for one w
ith the coach’s daughter would be even more complicated.

  Friday night he’d begun to think maybe his little buddy hadn’t made it to the game again. But as soon as he was done mingling with a few of the players from the other team and was back to the Padres’ side of the field, he saw her and remembered. Clair was as obsessive about her superstitions as she was about keeping stats. One of her big ones was she didn’t mix with the players on the other team. Ever.

  Ironically, her grandfather had insisted AJ make it a point to be friendly and even get to know the players on the other team. He’d go over and welcome them when they were in his house. Wish them luck and a good game. The courtesy was extended to him and his teammates when they were on the road too. It was one of the first things Coach Lara had ingrained in AJ’s mindset.

  “As a team leader, you need to set the example, and it’s part of your mental training,” he’d said. “Especially for you. The friendlier you are with the players on the other team, the less likely you are to take things too personally on the field and the less likely you are to lose your shit.”

  It made sense to AJ; though after nearly losing it against his own teammates more than once that past road trip, he wondered now just how accurate that theory really was. But it didn’t hurt to do it, so he’d continue to do so.

  Clair ran up to him once he was back on his team’s side of the field during batting practice. She looked as excited to see him as he surprisingly felt about seeing her. She was wearing the jewelry he’d given her for her birthday. It was the first thing AJ noticed when he saw the bracelet on the hand she held over her mouth. While the hand blocked her mouth, those big bright eyes were very telling of the smile she was hiding behind it.

  “Two things happened while you were gone,” she said, still talking behind her hand.

  “Is that right?” Just looking at her made him smile bigger. “What happened?”

  She took the hand away and smiled big, revealing her missing two front teeth.

  “Oh wow.” He laughed. “Both at the same time?”

  “Yeah, my mom says that’s how it always happens,” she explained. “They fall out in the order they came in. She said my front teeth came in at the same time.”

  On that note, AJ glanced around casually for her mom but didn’t see her anywhere, and he didn’t want to ask.

  “Well, that’s cool,” AJ said, squatting down in front of her to examine the nice-sized gap in her top row of teeth. “I take it you collected from the tooth fairy.”

  She tilted her head, making a face. “Now, AJ, you know I don’t believe in that stuff. It’s not my fault I read more than most kids my age. I’ve known the truth about that and Santa for years, but Christmas morning I still expect to see gifts under the tree. So, yes, I asked for my entitled compensation and got twenty bucks for both teeth.”

  “Twenty bucks!” he asked with a laugh. “Inflation’s gone up from when I was a kid. I was lucky if I got a buck.”

  She shook her head and peered at him skeptically. “You weren’t born in the thirties. I’m sure you got more.”

  That made him laugh even more. “I’m serious. I got a buck for each of my teeth.”

  She still didn’t look like she believed it, but he was curious about something and wondered if maybe that might answer the burning question of where her mother was. So he changed the subject.

  “You said two things happened while I was gone. What was the other?”

  “Oh yeah.” She smiled big again.

  Here he’d thought she couldn’t possibly get any cuter. The gap in her teeth did just that—make her smile even more adorable—and he smiled just as big as she did.

  “I got a new best buddy.”

  “What?” He clutched his chest, feigning pain.

  “But don’t be jealous,” she said quickly. “You’re still my best buddy out of school.”

  Though he’d apparently put on a good act of pretending to be jealous, inwardly he was happy to hear it. As cute as he thought she was with those thick glasses and adult-like personality, he was sure she didn’t have too many friends. Her mom had confirmed it the day at Niagara Falls that Clair had a hard time making friends her age she could relate to. But AJ had pretty much guessed it before that.

  “So what’s her name?”

  “His name,” she corrected him, making his brows go up, “is Harrison. He’s in the third grade.”

  Instinctively, AJ’s big brother radar was on. Clair was just finishing up second grade but only because she’d skipped a grade. “Isn’t that like a lot older than you?”

  “Not really,” she said, shaking her head. “He skipped a grade too. So he just turned eight. Besides, I said he’s my best buddy, not my boyfriend. Obviously”—she made a silly face—“there are no age requirements to how old your best buddy can be. And technically, I’m bigger than he is—a whole inch taller. You can meet him tomorrow. He’s dying to meet the team.” She smiled even brighter then frowned. “He wanted to be here tonight, but he had a piano lesson he couldn’t get out of.”

  When she was done telling him about Harrison, she finally got to the subject AJ was dying to hear about. At first, it was just a colossal disappointment when she confirmed her mother didn’t come to the game with her and her grandparents tonight. Until she added something that had him feeling much more than disappointment.

  “She said she had some work to do, but grandpa called it a date.”

  AJ had stared at her, his jaw locking, but didn’t dare comment. Of course, the one time he would’ve liked his little chatterbox buddy to elaborate she hadn’t. Instead, she pushed up her glasses, pulled out her notebook, and proceeded with her usual pre-game ritual. She read him her latest stats on the Cardinals, tonight’s opponents.

  ~~~

  Even after last night’s galling revelation, that he’d either been way off about Addison’s interest in him or she was really one of those chicks—the kind that reacts to him and all his teammates the way she did, despite her relationship status with someone else—AJ still found himself glancing back across the field to the Padres’ side in search of Clair. He hated to admit it, but he was still hoping her mom might be with her this time.

  Under normal circumstances, when AJ was looking to hook up with a chick, he didn’t really care about her relationship status, unless, of course, he knew she was married. He didn’t do married chicks, but he also didn’t have time to do too much investigating when he was just looking for some fun. So while he wasn’t actively trying to bag someone else’s girl, he knew it was likely he’d been with more than his share of chicks with boyfriends. Maybe even a few with husbands. He made no apologies. It wasn’t his job to keep those women honest.

  In Addison’s case, he’d like to say the circumstances made him care whether she was seeing someone else because of whose daughter and mother she was. It’d be too awkward to continue so much as a flirtation with her if, in fact, she was seeing someone else. But AJ knew it was more than just that.

  “I hear congrats are in order.”

  Jolted out of his thoughts, AJ turned to see a smiling Win Bigsby, the Cardinal’s catcher. He held out his hand and AJ shook it. “Yeah, thanks. Took a few years, but I own that home plate now.”

  AJ and Gillespie, the soon-to-be Hall of Famer and the Padres former starting catcher, had been sharing the title of starting catcher on paper. Technically, AJ had been starting for years now while Gillespie was in and out of surgeries. With Gillespie formally announcing his retirement earlier that day, AJ was now officially the starting pitcher for the Padres.

  “Well deserved,” Bigsby said. “I always said Lara only picks superstars in the making.”

  He winked at AJ with a smirk, and AJ did one of his customary polite laughs. Bigsby was probably one of the more cocky players in the majors he’d met to date. AJ expected nothing less than that last comment from him. Like AJ, Bigsby had also been mentored by Coach Lara once upon a time. But as Lara always said, Bigsby earned the right t
o be cocky. The guy was on every list of awards, including four Golden Gloves at catcher. He’d also won two World Series in his relatively short stint in the majors. The guy’s nickname was Win Big for crying out loud.

  AJ smiled inwardly as some of the other Cardinals’ players walked over to chat and congratulate him. He was certain if he mentioned Bigsby’s accomplishments to Clair she’d be quick to break out that little notebook of hers and point out that in AJ’s three years in the majors he’d won two Golden Glove awards and a World Series, among all the other awards and records he’d broken while in the minors.

  He hung out for just a little longer on the Cardinals’ side of the field, listening and laughing with the guys at all of Bigsby’s backhanded compliments. The guy talked so much shit it was a wonder he didn’t have skid marks on his teeth. But that was further proof of the coach’s wise advice. If AJ had never taken the time to get to know the guy, he might not shake off so easily all the shit-talking he did on the field.

  “See you on the field,” AJ finally said, wrapping up his mingling and already anxious to go see about Addison.

  “Good luck. You’ll need it,” Bigsby said, putting on his catcher’s mask and strutting backwards as he addressed AJ. “Let’s face it, son. When I’m in this house, I own that plate.”

  AJ rolled his eyes with a smirk but refrained from flipping him off like he might’ve if there weren’t so many cameras around. He’d learned his lesson about doing or saying things on camera even if he were just playing. Journalists had a way of twisting things to make an otherwise mundane article more interesting. He jogged back to the other side of the field with Sabian, who’d gone over with him to mingle.

  “That guy is such an asshole,” Sabian said as they jogged back, but AJ laughed.