Saving Danny

  I was speechless. When I’d asked Danny previously if he’d like to see the other rooms in the house, which I’d done quite a few times, he had always shaken his head. Until now he had followed the same route from the front door to the living room and kitchen-cum-diner, and upstairs to the toilet, the bathroom and his bedroom. Now with George beside him he was braver and more inquisitive.

  ‘Shall we go in the front room first?’ I asked Danny.

  He nodded.

  Lucy opened the door to the front room and we all went in. ‘This is the front room where the computer is,’ Danny told George, which is what I’d said to Reva when I’d showed her around. Although Danny hadn’t been with us, he must have heard.

  George paused, sniffed the air and then hopped up and down the room, depositing some pellets behind him.

  ‘Oh, gross!’ Lucy exclaimed. Adrian and Paula laughed loudly.

  Danny looked worried, as though he’d done something wrong.

  ‘It’s all right’ I said. ‘They’ll easily sweep up.’

  I thought it best to clear up the pellets straight away before George or one of us trod in them, so I fetched the dustpan and brush from the kitchen. The droppings were firm and were swept up easily, but not before Lucy had uttered another ‘Gross!’

  ‘It’s all right,’ I reassured Danny. ‘Do you want to show George upstairs now?’ For this seemed a good opportunity to show Danny around.

  ‘Would you like to go upstairs?’ Danny asked George.

  I guessed George said yes, for Danny began leading us out of the front room and upstairs.

  ‘Look! George can climb stairs!’ Paula declared.

  ‘And poop at the same time!’ Adrian said, dissolving into more laughter.

  ‘Arghh!’ Lucy cried dramatically. ‘I nearly trod it in!’

  ‘It’s one pellet,’ I said, brushing it into the dustpan. ‘Stop making such a fuss, and be grateful George isn’t an elephant.’ Which made Adrian laugh even more.

  Upstairs we followed Danny and George into Danny’s bedroom.

  ‘This is my room,’ Danny said to George. ‘This is my bed. This is toy George. You know him.’ He took soft-toy George from his pillow and held it to George to sniff and then set it on his pillow again.

  George spent some time hopping around Danny’s room, sniffing various items, without leaving any more droppings.

  ‘Would you and George like to see the other bedrooms?’ I now asked Danny.

  ‘Yes, come and see my room,’ Lucy said. ‘But don’t let him poop.’

  ‘He hasn’t got control over it, you muppet,’ Adrian said affectionately to Lucy. ‘He isn’t human.’ Although from the way George was behaving with Danny you could almost believe he was.

  ‘This way,’ Lucy said to Danny. ‘Tell your rabbit to follow.’

  ‘He’s George,’ Danny said indignantly. ‘Not rabbit.’

  ‘That told you,’ Adrian said.

  With George beside him Danny was clearly far more confident in expressing himself. We were seeing a very different side to him, and it was good.

  The novelty of having a large rabbit hopping around her bedroom overrode any thought of it pooping – Lucy was like a little child as George explored, sniffing the objects he came across, sticking his head into corners and then under the bed.

  ‘I think George likes my room,’ Lucy said, pleased.

  Then George began trying to nibble a flower off the pattern on the duvet and Danny gently pulled him away. ‘Naughty boy!’ he said firmly. ‘Don’t do that. You’ll go to your room if you do it again.’ I wondered where he’d heard that, as I didn’t use those words.

  ‘Come and see my room now,’ Paula said.

  We filed out of Lucy’s room and into Paula’s. George went straight to her school bag, left on the floor, and began scratching at it, trying to get into it. Danny rushed to stop him.

  ‘He can smell my apple,’ Paula said.

  ‘Is that the apple you were supposed to eat with your lunch?’ I asked. I was always trying to encourage the children to eat more fruit and vegetables.

  ‘Yesterday’s,’ Paula said. ‘It’s bruised. Can I give it to George?’

  Danny looked worried and then said, ‘George makes a mess. George eat in his hutch.’ Which I guessed was a rule in his house.

  ‘We won’t feed him in the house,’ I said to Paula. ‘But if it’s all right with Danny, you could give George the apple when he goes back in his hutch.’

  Danny nodded and Paula took the apple from her bag while George had a good sniff around the rest of her room. Then we all went to Adrian’s room. Danny looked around with interest; it was very much a boy’s room, with model aircraft and large posters showing scenes from The Lord of the Rings and various action movies. George had a good look too, and under the bed he discovered a pair of Adrian’s socks that hadn’t found their way into the laundry basket. He sniffed and then tried to nibble them.

  ‘Oh no! Gross!’ Lucy cried as Paula held her nose. The girls often teased Adrian about having sweaty feet. He didn’t mind and gave as good as he got.

  My bedroom was next and George showed his appreciation by depositing half a dozen pellets in quick succession on my carpet. My children found it hilarious – ‘He likes you, Mum,’ Paula giggled – but Danny was looking worried. I quickly swept up the pellets but thought that in future when George came into the house we’d limit his run to downstairs, for hygiene’s sake.

  ‘Does your mum let you have George in your bedroom?’ Paula asked Danny, almost reading my thoughts.

  Danny shook his head.

  Good, I thought, that helps. ‘George is upstairs this once,’ I clarified. ‘So Danny can show him the rooms. But in future, if it rains and he has to come into the house, we’ll keep him downstairs. He can have plenty of exercise running up and down the hall.’

  Danny didn’t object, but Lucy did. ‘It’s fun having him up here,’ she grumbled.

  ‘So perhaps you’d like to clear up his mess?’ I said, offering her the dustpan and brush. She took my point.

  After my bedroom Danny showed George the bathroom. ‘This is my towel,’ he said, taking the opportunity to straighten it. ‘This is the bath. This is the tap. The water is hot. Hot water can burn.’ So Danny had been listening when I’d told him that.

  Once George had seen the bathroom we went round the landing ready to return downstairs.

  ‘You haven’t shown George the toilet,’ Paula said.

  Danny stopped and his face grew serious. He was quiet as he struggled to find the words he needed. I knew the signs now: the furrowed brow, the element of panic as his body tensed and he tried to think of what to say. Sometimes he flapped his arms in agitation. Eventually he said, ‘George scared of that room.’

  ‘Why?’ Adrian asked.

  Danny turned away and made no attempt to answer, then he began downstairs. And I knew, possibly from years of fostering or having seen something in Danny’s body language, that whatever had happened to make George scared had been very traumatic for Danny.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Danny’s World

  George stayed in the house, downstairs, running up and down the hall with the children in attendance, while I began the preparations for dinner. After about fifteen minutes Danny came to me and said quietly, ‘George go in hutch now.’

  ‘All right, love.’ I went into the hall and explained to Adrian, Paula and Lucy that it was time for Danny to put George away.

  ‘Oh, can’t he stay out a bit longer?’ Lucy asked.

  Danny shook his head.

  ‘It’s Danny’s routine for George and we need to keep to it,’ I explained.

  George seemed to know his routine too, as he was already heading for the back door. We went outside with Danny and George and onto the patio. It had stopped raining now. Adrian, Paula, Lucy and I watched as Danny opened the hutch door and George immediately jumped in, far more compliant than he had been with me when I’d had to entice him up
the garden and into his hutch with a carrot.

  ‘See you after dinner,’ Danny said easily. ‘Bye, George.’

  ‘Bye, George,’ the rest of us chorused, for he really was like a little person.

  We returned indoors; Adrian and Danny to the living room and the girls to their bedrooms. It was Friday evening, so we could be more relaxed in our routine without the pressure of having to be up early for school the following morning. I suggested again to Danny that he might like to play with something different as a change from Lego. His toy box from home was in the living room but had been left untouched. Danny didn’t reply and went to the Lego. ‘I’ll stay with him for a while if you like,’ Adrian said, sitting on the floor beside him.

  ‘Thanks, love. I’ll be in the kitchen.’

  When I called everyone to dinner Danny was still playing with the Lego and I wondered if he would ever tire of it. Adrian had, and was sitting on the sofa reading a book. I thought that Danny’s interest in the Lego was starting to seem a little obsessive.

  He was quiet at dinner. Without George beside him he’d retracted into his shell again and couldn’t – or wouldn’t – talk, despite our encouragement. As we ate we said things like, ‘You must be very proud of George.’ And Paula asked Danny if he’d taught George to do little tricks, like jumping over a low fence as our rabbit had done. But Danny kept his head down and concentrated on his food – as usual arranging and eating it in colour-graded order. Danny was the last to finish and the rest of us sat with him and talked while he ate. As soon as he’d finished he said, ‘George,’ then slid from his chair and went to the back door.

  It was now time for George’s bedtime routine, and Lucy and Paula, still intrigued by George, went with Danny to fetch George’s food bowl from the hutch and then waited as Danny carefully measured three scoops from the bag of rabbit food stored in the cupboard under the stairs. As George’s water bottle needed topping up, I positioned the kitchen stool in front of the sink so Danny could reach the taps. Then we filed outside and stood in silent awe as George and Danny kissed each other goodnight, their special relationship so very touching to see.

  That night as I bathed Danny he again threw himself back in the bath and lay submerged under the water, pretending he was drowning, as I now knew he did with his mother at home.

  ‘Danny drowning,’ he said as he resurfaced, furtively glancing at me to see my reaction.

  ‘No, you’re not,’ I said lightly. ‘You’re safe. You’re playing.’

  ‘Danny drowning,’ he said more firmly, jettisoning himself back and under the water.

  ‘Danny playing,’ I said as he came up. ‘You’re safe. I wouldn’t let you drown.’

  He did it twice more, each time glancing at me as he rose from the water to see if he’d managed to provoke a reaction. I smiled and said it was nearly time for him to get out of the bath and dry himself, but I was wondering how much of his negative behaviour at home was about trying to elicit a response from his parents. Some of Danny’s conduct was beyond his control, but not all of it.

  It was nearly 8.30 p.m. by the time Danny was in bed and I said goodnight to the lump in the duvet. I came out and went downstairs. Adrian, Paula and Lucy were in the living room playing whist and I joined in on the next round. Then we had a game of Scrabble, which Adrian won. Before they went to bed I reminded them that I’d be taking Danny home for contact in the morning and asked if anyone wanted to come with me, but there were no takers understandably, as they preferred to have a lie-in on a Saturday morning.

  Danny was awake at his usual time the next morning and I again explained to him the arrangements for the day: that I would take him home and he would spend the day with his parents. Then they would bring him back to me at six o’clock.

  ‘Six o’clock,’ Danny repeated, and opening his wardrobe door he began choosing some clothes to wear.

  After some time he eventually selected a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, so I gently explained that they weren’t suitable, as it was cold outside, and he needed to choose something warmer – suitable for winter. I wasn’t sure why Reva had packed shorts and T-shirts – there were quite a few in the case – unless she’d decided that Danny would definitely be staying with me for summer, which was a possibility. Danny didn’t like being told what to wear and rejected all the trousers and jerseys I took from his wardrobe and placed on his bed, pushing them aside. He then threw himself on the floor, his body tense and his eyes screwed shut ready for a tantrum, which would certainly wake Adrian, Lucy and Paula. Thank goodness for school uniforms, I thought.

  ‘Get dressed, please, Danny,’ I said, firmly. ‘George is waiting to see you.’

  Danny lay still, his eyes closed, but clearly having heard what I’d said.

  ‘Come on, quickly, or there won’t be time to see George before we have to leave,’ I added for good measure.

  Danny opened his eyes, hauled himself from the floor, then took one of the jerseys and pairs of trousers I’d put on the bed and arranged them with his vest, pants and socks in order, ready to dress.

  ‘Good boy,’ I said. ‘George will be pleased.’

  Paula, Lucy and Adrian were up and in their dressing gowns when it was time for Danny and me to leave, and they called, ‘Goodbye, Danny. See you later. Have a nice day,’ as we went out.

  Danny didn’t reply and looked confused, so I explained once more that he would be spending the day at home with his parents and then they would bring him back to me at six o’clock. I avoided calling my house ‘home’, which might have added to his confusion.

  ‘Six o’clock,’ he repeated, looking no less confused.

  From past experience I knew it took children coming into care many weeks to adjust to the changes that contact brought, and much longer for special needs children, who relied heavily on familiarity and routine and had limited understanding of their situation. Danny was silent in the car as I drove and whenever I glanced at him in the mirror he was staring blankly through his side window. Twenty minutes later I pulled into the end of the drive that led to his house and stopped. The security gates were shut. Danny leant forward in his seat and tapped me on the shoulder to gain my attention.

  ‘Yes, love?’ I asked, turning.

  ‘Danny going home?’ he asked anxiously.

  ‘For today, yes. Then you will come back to me at six o’clock.’

  ‘Six o’clock,’ he repeated. He couldn’t tell the time but at least this gave him some reference point and was marginally better than me saying ‘later’ or ‘this evening’, which were vague terms and not very helpful.

  The security gates didn’t open so I lowered my window and pressed the call button. After a few moments Reva’s voice came through: ‘Sorry, Cathy. I’ll open the gates now.’

  ‘Mummy?’ Danny asked, hearing her voice. Perhaps he’d never heard his mother through the intercom before.

  ‘Yes. Mummy is in your house waiting for you,’ I explained.

  The gates opened. I drove through and they closed automatically behind me. There were no other cars on the drive, so I parked where I had done before, close to the house.

  ‘Six o’clock,’ Danny said as I cut the engine.

  Unfastening my belt I turned to face him. He was pale and anxious and I could see the uncertainty in his eyes as he stared through the windows trying to make sense of what was happening.

  ‘Danny, love,’ I said. ‘You remember you came home for tea on Thursday, and then came back to my house? Well, now you are staying for the whole day. Then Mummy and Daddy will bring you back to me at six o’clock.’ I didn’t know how else I could explain it. I’d tried everything.

  ‘Mummy!’ he suddenly cried, his face brightening.

  I turned to see Reva coming out of the front door. I got out of the car and called, ‘Good morning,’ then went round and opened Danny’s door. He scrambled out and ran into his mother’s arms, much as he had done on that first morning in the school playground, very pleased to see her. She pic
ked him up and smothered him in kisses as he clung to her, his arms and legs wrapped tightly around her.

  ‘He’s missed me,’ Reva said, as though this was a revelation.

  ‘Of course he has,’ I said. ‘Far more than he can say.’

  ‘Would you like to come in?’ she asked.

  ‘No, this is your time with Danny.’

  ‘All right, thanks. I’ll bring him back later.’

  ‘Bye, Danny,’ I said, but he didn’t answer.

  As I returned to my car Reva was carrying Danny indoors, with him still clinging tightly to her. It was such a pity he couldn’t tell her how much he loved and missed her, for Reva certainly needed to hear it. I hoped she understood it from his actions.

  When I arrived home Paula, Lucy and Adrian were still in their dressing gowns but at the table, tucking into a cooked breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausages, baked beans and hash browns, which they proudly told me they’d cooked together. I was impressed – even more so when Adrian took a plate from the oven for me. ‘Thank you very much,’ I said, sounding like Danny, and I joined them at the table. I love a cooked breakfast at the weekend when we have time to enjoy it, and it’s especially nice when it’s cooked for you!

  With Danny at his parents’ all day it allowed me the opportunity to give Adrian, Lucy and Paula my full attention. Although we all thought the world of Danny, he was hard work and took up most of my time. We had a leisurely breakfast and then the kids finished their homework while I cleared away. In the afternoon, as they were in the mood for cooking, we baked some cupcakes and also made an apple crumble for my parents’ visit the following day. As Danny wouldn’t be home while it was light, we let George out in the garden for about half an hour and were very vigilant. Paula, Lucy and Adrian had great fun, but then had to spend a long time enticing George back into his hutch with a carrot and then some cabbage leaves.

  ‘Why doesn’t he do what we want?’ Paula moaned. ‘He does what Danny wants straight away.’

  ‘They have a special bond,’ I said. ‘They’re very close.’