Frank Merriwell Down South

  CHAPTER XVI.

  PROFESSOR SCOTCH FEELS ILL.

  Frank found it impossible to restrain his laughter longer, and he gaveway to it.

  "Ha, ha, ha!" he merrily shouted. "You surely look ill, professor! I'dlike to have your picture now! Ha, ha, ha! It would make a first-ratepicture for a comic paper."

  "This is no laughing matter," came dolefully from Scotch. "I don't knowhow to fire a pistol, and I never had a sword in my hand in all my life.And to think of standing up and being shot full of holes or carved likea turkey by that fire-eater with the fierce mustache! It is awful,awful!"

  "But you were eager to fight the young fellow."

  "No, I was not. I was simply putting up a bluff, as you call it. I wasdoing my level best to get you out of the scrape, Frank. I didn't thinkhe would fight me, and so I pretended to be eager to meet him. And nowsee what a scrape I am in! Oh, my soul and body! What can I do?"

  "Fight."

  "Never!"

  "I don't see how you can get out of it."

  "I'll run away."

  In a moment Frank became very grave.

  "That is impossible, professor," he said, with the utmost apparentsincerity. "Think of the disgrace! It would be in all the papers thatProfessor Scotch, a white-livered Northerner, after insulting Colonel LaSalle Vallier and presenting his card, had taken to his heels in themost cowardly fashion, and had fled from the city without giving thecolonel the satisfaction that is due from one gentleman to another. TheNorthern papers would copy, and you would find yourself the butt ofridicule wherever you went."

  The professor let out a groan that was more dismal and doleful than anysound that had previously issued from his lips.

  "What can I do?" he gasped.

  "There is one way to get out of the difficulty."

  "Name it! name it!" shouted the wretched man. "I'll do anything!"

  "Then commit suicide."

  The professor collapsed again.

  "Are you entirely heartless?" he moaned. "Can you joke when I amsuffering such misery?"

  His face was covered with perspiration, and he was all a-quiver, so thatFrank was really touched.

  "You can apologize, professor."

  "Apologize for what? I don't know that I have done anything to apologizefor; but then I'll apologize rather than fight."

  "Well, I guess you'll be able to get out of it some way."

  But it was no easy thing to reassure the agitated man, as Frank soondiscovered.

  "I'll tell you what, professor," said the boy; "you may send arepresentative--a substitute."

  "I don't think it will be easy to find a substitute."

  "Oh, I'll find one."

  "Perhaps Colonel Vallier will not accept him."

  "But you must be too ill to meet the colonel, and then he'll have toaccept the substitute or nothing."

  "But who will act as substitute? I don't know any one in New Orleanswho'll go and be shot in my place."

  "Barney Mulloy has agreed to join us here, and he may arrive on anytrain," went on Frank, mentioning an old school chum.

  "That wild Irishman!" cried the professor, hopefully. "Why, he'd fight apack of wildcats and think it fun!"

  "Yes, Barney is happiest when in trouble. According to my uncle's will,I am at liberty to carry a companion besides my guardian on my travels,and so, when Hans Dunnerwust got tired of traveling and went home, Isent for Barney, knowing he'd be a first-class fellow to have with me.He finally succeeded in making arrangements to join us, and I have atelegram from him, stating that he would start in time to reach herebefore to-morrow. If you are forced into trouble, professor, Barney canserve as a substitute."

  "That sounds very well, but Colonel Vallier would not accept a boy."

  "Then Barney can disguise himself and pretend to be a man."

  "I'm afraid it won't work. Not that Barney Mulloy will hesitate to helpme out of the scrape, for he was the most dare-devil chap in FardaleAcademy, next to yourself, Frank. You were the leader in all kinds ofdaring adventures, but Barney made a good second. But he can't passmuster as a man."

  "Perhaps he can. But you have not yet received a challenge from ColonelVallier; so don't worry about what may not happen."

  "I can't help worrying. I shall not take any further pleasure in lifetill we get out of this dreadful city."

  "Oh, brace up! Come on; let's go out and see the sights."

  "No, Frank--no, my boy. I am indisposed--I am quite ill. Besides that, Imight meet Colonel Vallier. I shall remain in my room for the present."

  So Frank was obliged to go out alone, and, when he returned for supper,he found the professor in bed, looking decidedly like a sick man.

  "I am very ill, Frank--very ill," Scotch declared. "I fear I am in for aprotracted illness."

  "Nonsense, professor! Why, you'll miss all the fun to-morrow, and we'rehere to see the sport."

  "Confound the sport! I wish we had stayed away from this miserableplace!"

  "Why, you were very enthusiastic over New Orleans and the people of theSouth this morning."

  "Hang the people of the South--hang them all! They're toohot-headed--they're altogether too ready to fight over nothing. Now, I'ma peaceable man, and I can't fight--I simply can't!"

  "Well, well! I don't fancy you'll have to fight," said Frank, whoseconscience was beginning to smite him.

  "Then I'll have to apologize, and I'll be jiggered if I know what I'mgoing to apologize for!"

  "What makes you so sure you'll have to apologize?"

  "Look at this--read it!"

  The professor drew an envelope from beneath his pillow and passed it toFrank. The envelope contained a note, which the boy was soon reading. Itwas from Colonel Vallier, and demanded an apology, giving the professoruntil the following noon in which to make it, and hinting that a meetingof honor would surely follow if the apology was not forthcoming.

  "Whew!" whistled Frank. "This does seem like business. When did youreceive this?"

  "Shortly after you went out."

  "I scarcely thought the colonel would press the affair."

  "There's a letter for you on the table."

  "From whom is it?"

  "Don't know. Raymond, I suppose. The same messenger brought them both."

  Frank picked up the letter and tore it open. It proved to be from RolfRaymond, and was worded much like the note to Professor Scotch.

  The warm blood of anger mounted to the boy's cheeks.

  "This settles it!" he exclaimed. "Mr. Rolf Raymond shall have all thefight he wants. I am a good pistol shot and more than a fair swordsman.At Fardale I was the champion with the foils. If he thinks I am a cowardand a greenhorn because I come from the North, he may find he has made aserious mistake."

  The professor literally writhed in the bed.

  "But you may be killed, and I'd never forgive myself," he moaned.

  "Killed or not, I can't show the white feather!" cried Frank, warmly.

  "I do not believe in duelling."

  "Nor do I, but I have found it necessary to do some things I do notbelieve in. I am not going to run, and I am not going to apologize, forI believe an apology is due me, if any one. This being the case, I'llhave to fight."

  "Oh, what a scrape--what a dreadful scrape!" groaned Scotch, wringinghis hands. "Why did we ever come here?"

  "Oh, do brace up, professor!" cried Frank, impatiently. "We have been inworse scrapes than this, and you were not so badly broken up. It wasonly a short time ago down in Mexico that Pacheco's bandits hemmed us inon one side and there was a raging volcano on the other; but still welive and have our health. I'll guarantee we'll pull through this scrape,and I'll bet we come out with flying colors."

  "You may feel like meeting Rolf Raymond, but I simply can't stand upbefore that fire-eating colonel."

  "There seems to be considerable bluster about this business, and I'llwager something you won't have to stand up before him if you will put ona bold front and make-believe you are eager to meet him." br />
  "Oh, my boy, you don't know--you can't tell!"

  "Come, professor, get out of bed and dress. We want to see the paradethis evening. They say it will be great."

  "Oh, I wish the parades were all at the bottom of the sea!"

  "We couldn't see them then, for we're not mermaids or fishes."

  "Will you never be serious?"

  "I don't know; perhaps I may, when I'm too sick to be otherwise. Are yougoing to get up?"

  "No."

  "Do you mean to stay in bed?"

  "Yes."

  "And miss the parade to-night?"

  "I don't care for the old parade."

  "Well, I do, and I'm going to see it."

  "Will you see some newspaper reporters and state that I am veryill--dangerously ill--that I am dying. Do this favor for me, Frank.Colonel Vallier can't force a dying man to meet him in a duel."

  "I am shocked and pained, professor, that you should wish me to tell alie, even to save your life; but I'll see what I can do for you."