Leave Me Breathless

  “You must think I’m the biggest prude,” she said after a while.

  His dark brows dipped. “What in the hell makes you say that?”

  “You having to shut me up.”

  “Naw. Prudish wouldn’t be getting dirty in the backseat, having phone sex and…showing up tonight in crotchless panties. Damn, if I’d known you were wearing those all night…” His eyes closed as if savoring the mere thought of what he’d have done to her. “Let’s just say we might’ve had to find a closet or something at my buddy’s house.”

  She laughed. “I guess when you put it like that…”

  “But, I can let you in on a secret. The little reservations and hang-ups you do have turn me on. Immensely.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “It’s a bigger challenge to get you to let go. And far more rewarding for me when you do.”

  So that was what all this was about. A challenge. Even that Raina girl had insinuated that. Oh well, how could she really be offended? At least he knew what he wanted, what he liked. At least he was honest. “I can see how it might be an ego stroke for you.”

  “That really has nothing to do with it. And don’t get me wrong. I love a woman who loves sex and talking dirty.” He reached up to rub his thumb across her bottom lip. Her eyes fell closed as his fingers trailed over her chin and down her throat. “But there’s just something about hearing dirty talk coming from a nice, clean mouth. Any girl who says ‘fuck’ every other word can tell me to fuck her, and it’s hot, but it doesn’t mean as much as when you say it. If I can get you to tell me to fuck you, Macy, fuck you harder, fuck you faster…you’d better believe you’re going to get it. You’re going to get everything I’ve got, and then some.”

  How did he get her blood racing so fast so soon? Those very words he wanted to hear from her were crowding in her throat right now. She even pulled her bottom lip between her teeth to form the f. Just to test him. He seemed to be holding his breath, waiting. When she opened her eyes, she found his face so close their lips were almost touching.

  “I do cuss, you know. I’m not Snow White here.”

  He exhaled in a frustrated rush, his warm breath tickling her mouth. “Dang and heck? You racy thing.”

  She lifted her chin, meeting his dark eyes head-on. “You’ve heard me cuss. And I have, believe it or not, been fucked before you came along.”

  Those eyes went even darker. “Oh, you’ve done it now.”

  Macy almost laughed as he rose over her, and his mouth descended on hers again, but two seconds later, all humor fled in the assault of blind lust that attacked her. He felt so good against her, strong and hard. She ran her palms over his smooth, marked skin, marveling at it.

  She’d imagined him naked many times. But not knowing what lurked beneath his shirt, she’d neglected to fill in the tattoos in her fantasies. They covered both arms completely—that much she’d realized. Unlike Brian’s vibrant riot of colors, Seth’s tattoos were mostly black. The patterns swirled across his chest, a few tendrils meandering up his neck. Both his nipples bore silver hoops that glinted in the dim light.

  “Why am I gonna get it? What have I done?” she asked innocently.

  His reply was to don another condom and throw her knees over his shoulders. “You’ve been fucked before, huh?” he asked, angling her so that his piercing slid over her G-spot when he entered. “By the time I’m done, you’ll have reassessed your definition.”

  She already had.

  Hours later, he stirred beside her, and she reluctantly relinquished her legs’ hold on his to let him get up. If she spent a little too much time admiring the view as he did so—damn!—well, who could blame her?

  Tight butt. Firm thighs. The lingering ache between her thighs was testament that he knew how to use those muscles. The ink…well, she wasn’t into it, but was it a deal breaker? Not in the least. She propped her head up on her hand and tried not to salivate as he moved toward the door.

  “Got anything to drink?” he asked.

  “All kinds of stuff. Help yourself to whatever you find.”

  “Want something?”

  “Maybe I’ll have a sip of whatever you’re having.”

  She traced the ivy pattern on her sheets as she listened to him rummage around the kitchen. Searching through her cabinets, presumably for a glass, opening the fridge. It was strange having someone around. Strange, but nice. Even if he would be gone by tomorrow.

  He walked back in a moment later with a glass of something—she couldn’t see what. He handed it to her as he slid back under the covers, and she caught a glimpse of the glint of silver on his cock and the tattoo just above his pubic area, but she couldn’t make out what it was.

  The scent wafting from the glass she held reached her nostrils, and she took a sip, looking at him in surprise. “Apple juice?” she laughed.

  “Yeah, so?”

  “I just figured you’d go for something a little stronger.”

  “It was tempting. Actually, just so you know, I don’t drink that much anymore. Every now and then I’ll have a good time with friends, but not like I used to. Waking up in strange places with strange ink will do that to you.”

  “Good to know.” She handed it back to him. He took a drink and set it on her nightstand, settling next to her again. “I didn’t get to see. What did you cover up Casper with?” she asked. She tried to lift the covers, but it was too dark underneath.

  “Ghostface.”

  She burst into laughter, and he followed suit. “From Scream? You did not.”

  “Naw, I didn’t. It’s still a ghost, but it’s a scary-ass ghost.”

  “Oh, great. Now I have to come face-to-face with him whenever…”

  “You’ll learn to love him. It’s a package deal. The monster in my pants and the monster lurking above.”

  “You have a lot of pride in your, erm, endowments, don’t you?”

  He cut her a sideways grin. “Am I hearing a complaint?”

  “Nope, not from me.”

  “All right, then.” She liked the way he looked at her, his gaze drinking her in from her eyes to her lips to the tumble of her hair down her arm. He reached out and touched a strand of it, curling it around his finger.

  She didn’t know if she should ask the questions burning in her brain, but she wanted…no, she needed…to know more about who he was. He’d already shut her down once in the car. She glanced down and watched her fingertip trail around a curl of ink on his arm, taking the plunge. “How long were you together with Raina?”

  “Three years.”

  Eyes widening, she lifted on her elbow and stared down at him. “Three years? How long ago did you break up?”

  “About six months before you and I met.”

  Well over a year ago, then. That was somewhat of a relief, though she wondered why it had never come up before. “What happened?”

  “You met her, didn’t you?”

  “But she didn’t get that way overnight. You put up with it for that long, so there must have been something else. I’m sorry, I’m just insanely curious.”

  “It was cool to be that needed.”

  “Oh, come on.”

  “But I got over it.”

  “After three years.”

  “All right, you want the ugly truth? The girl was insane in the sack. She was insane in every other aspect too. She would go off on someone, or on me, in a heartbeat. It was fun. I got a kick out of wondering what the hell she would do next. We were like the death of every party, because we would get into a gigantic fight, and things would get destroyed…mostly by her as she threw them at me.”

  “So domestic violence is a turn-on for you.”

  He laughed. “Damn, when you put it like that, it sounds terrible. It wasn’t that bad. She weighs all of ninety pounds. And it’s mostly a front. She can cuss you six ways to Sunday, but if you say something that cuts her, she’ll cry for hours.”

  “How did you meet?”

  “Our lead singer in
troduced us. He knew her from Austin, where she used to live. She was in another band, but it was falling apart, and she did some guest vocals with us. When she and I hooked up, she moved here with me. She’s hung around ever since.”

  “What happened? I mean, if it was all so much fun for you then—”

  “She got pregnant.”

  Macy’s heart skipped a beat as everything else froze. Not entirely certain how to proceed, she watched him closely and let him go on in his own time.

  “The only other person on earth I’ve told this to is Brian, and I think even that was from shock. He was the one who was right there beside me when she called to tell me. Raina…she was excited. It scared the shit out of me. I mean, I might want to be a dad someday, but not any time soon, right? And I wouldn’t wish her as a mother on anyone. Still, it was my responsibility too, so I wasn’t going to run from it. But it made me realize how little I wanted to be with her. I mean, marry her? Or even deal with her for the next eighteen years while we raise a kid? That’s what freaked me more than anything. Turns out it didn’t matter. She had a miscarriage.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah. It was brutal. Sent her into a tailspin.”

  “What about you?”

  “I guess I’d gotten used to the idea. It’s a shock when suddenly everything you’ve been planning for and worrying about is gone just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “I was pretty messed up too. But I knew by then I wanted out, right, but it only made her cling to me more, and I knew I couldn’t leave her like that. I stuck it out with her a few months until I thought she was in a better place; then I had to bail. She had started talking about trying to get pregnant again, and I just couldn’t deal with it.”

  Macy was silent while she digested what he’d just told her. Wow. She’d been expecting petty drama, not the life-altering circumstances that had led to their demise. And all at once she was ashamed of herself for making the crack to Raina about skipping her next dose. For all she knew, the girl was still dealing with the emotional fallout of losing her baby and the guy she loved in short order.

  “I feel bad for her, and for a while I tried to be there for her if she needed me, but she would never take it for what it was. She wouldn’t give it up. Then in typical Raina fashion, she started getting crazy on me and my friends, so…fuck her. It’s done, I’m done. She’s a big girl; she needs to deal with it.”

  “What about the other girl she mentioned?”

  He’d been absently stroking her hair, but at her question, his hand froze. “Nothing to tell. I was a stupid kid. It wasn’t what I thought it was.” He scoffed and muttered, “Obviously,” so low she could hardly hear it, shifting so that he lay on his back, staring straight up at the ceiling.

  “Stupid kid or not, it sounds like it had a pretty serious effect on you.”

  “Listen to you, getting all deep.” He grinned. He was a pretty good actor, she decided, but not that good. “Like I said, I was a dumbass. She was hot. I thought I was in love. I thought maybe she was too. She wasn’t. End of story.”

  She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. “What was her name?”

  “Brooke.”

  She wanted to ask more, but the brusqueness of his reply clearly stated he considered the subject closed without even divulging the girl’s last name.

  “I was with my first boyfriend for a long time,” she said instead. “We grew up together, so it wasn’t really that I loved him in that way. He was just always there, you know?”

  “Why are we tossing around the L-word so much?”

  “Hey, you said it first.”

  “Then I’ll be the first to shut it down.”

  “Fine by me.” She searched her brain for another topic maybe he wouldn’t shut down. Speaking of obvious love… “How long have you and Brian known each other?”

  “Freshman year. I knew of him before, but we officially met in art class. He was like the big class star, at least in there. I got sick of it, so I went over to his table one day to tell him I thought his still lifes were okay but his perspective sucked. He said, ‘Hey, fuck you.’ After class, we beat the shit out of each other in the hallway and landed in detention together. Started talking about music. And a dysfunctional friendship was born. We still argue to this day over who won the fight. There’s been more than one rematch.”

  She snickered. “Sounds like you two.”

  “We’re a good team, though. Especially at work.”

  “How are you a team at a tattoo shop?”

  “Well, see, he’s stellar at portraits. When Brian draws someone’s face, it looks more like them than they do. You’ve seen his work, right?”

  “I saw the drawing he did of Candace. It’s incredible.”

  “But he’s not all that great at lettering. It’s his dirty little secret, and I love to give him shit about it. I’m just the opposite. No way in hell I want to fuck up the face of someone’s loved one on their body, you know? Shit makes me twitchy to even think about. So I draw up all his lettering, and he never throws any portraits my way. Give me a scorpion or a gecko or something any day, I’ll bang it out in no time. But not Grandma Lucy.”

  Macy smiled at the way enthusiasm seeped into his voice whenever he talked about his and Brian’s work. “That’s really neat. I wish Candace and I had a story that exciting, but I can’t even remember the first time we met. Our parents are friends. She was homeschooled, and I was pretty much the only person her mom would let her hang out with.” She quieted for a moment, frowning, thinking. “Like with my first boyfriend, probably the only reason she puts up with me is that I’ve always been there.”

  “Oh, shut up. There you go again. Although I do hope for your sake that your parents aren’t anything like hers. I don’t know them, but I’ve heard Brian’s horror stories.”

  “They’re not. Just your typical nosy, meddling, occasionally embarrassing parents.”

  “Huh. I guess you’re lucky to have parents around to be nosy and embarrassing. Mine didn’t hang in there long enough.”

  She cringed inwardly. Another touchy subject. “I’m sorry.”

  He waved a hand. “It’s all right. It was a long time ago. I’m not gonna go to pieces talking about it or anything.”

  “So your grandmother raised you after…”

  “Yeah. She always said I was the only thing that pulled her through after the accident. My grandpa died when I was a baby, and my older brother was a dick from birth, so she was pretty much all alone except for me and my sister. Made me feel like there was a reason I walked away from the wreck with hardly a scratch, you know?”

  “Of course there was a reason. Did you ever doubt it?”

  “Through my teen-angst dumbassedness, I think I threw a few ‘fuck the world, I wish I’d died instead of my folks’ tantrums, but I got over that. Brian would always be there to kick my drunk ass if I needed it. Believe me, I fucking needed it.”

  “Sounds like he’s been a really good friend to you.”

  He was silent for a moment. When he spoke, revulsion twisted his voice. “Brian is the brother I should’ve had. Instead of that sorry-ass motherfucker I got strapped with.”

  “What’s the deal with your brother?” She racked her brain but couldn’t recall him ever telling her why he hated the guy so much. He barely talked about him at all.

  “He’s an asshole. It needs no other explanation.”

  “There’s got to be more to it than that. I’m pretty sure everyone has a relative they can say that about. But you…you take it to a whole new level.”

  “Yeah? Well, he takes being an asshole to a whole new level.”

  “It’s just that I would think after the tragedy you guys went through, you would, I don’t know, pull together.”

  “You’d think wrong.” The chill coming off him was palpable. She lifted her head and frowned at him.

  “What did he do to you?”

  “Let’s change the subject, all right? I don’t want to fuck the nigh
t up now.”

  Stung, she settled her head back on his shoulder. “Okay.”

  He was right. She didn’t want that either. She’d just gotten carried away putting together all his many scattered puzzle pieces. Something told her there wouldn’t be a complete picture for a long, long time, if ever.

  God, in the past few minutes they’d covered death, pregnancy and heartbreak—and his brother was the deal breaker? Weird. If she kept asking questions, he was probably going to get dressed and bolt.

  She definitely didn’t want that. Even more disturbing, she found herself wondering what it would be like to have this every night. The warm solidity of his shoulder under her cheek, his fingers lazily traveling up and down her arm.

  It couldn’t work. He’d made the terms clear in the car, and she’d agreed. Now that she’d let him in, she had to be on her guard. Lately she’d often thought he was different than he’d seemed when she first met him—the wisecracking, don’t-give-a-damn-about-anyone-or-anything tattoo artist—but it was distinctly possible he wasn’t. At least when it came to her.

  How would she compare to the mystery girl who obviously splattered his heart all over hell, or even to the one he’d kept around because she was “insane” and exciting?

  Macy had wanted to explore her wild side a bit with him…that’s why she was here. She’d wanted to discover if she even had a wild side. She hadn’t expected to feel duller than ever afterward.

  Chapter Ten

  The last thing he’d planned on was falling asleep with her snuggled at his side, her head on his shoulder like they were…a couple or something. One moment, they’d been lying in her bed in the peaceful semidarkness; the next, a swath of sunlight was hitting him right between the eyes.

  Might as well make the most of it. He rolled over and groped for her warm body only to touch the coolness of empty sheets. Lifting his head and focusing, he not only saw visual evidence she was missing, but an aroma was drifting in from the kitchen that awakened parts of him that were famished for more than her body. He always woke up starving.