Lady Friday

  ‘Stop!’ yelled Arthur. ‘Don’t eat him!’

  His commanding voice faltered as he saw that the Beast had in fact only swallowed the Servant’s clothing, as a second course to the wings, which it had obviously eaten first.

  ‘I wasn’t going to,’ protested the Beast. It had a curiously high-pitched voice that made it sound a bit like a small child. ‘I never do. Though I must say I like the wrappers. Still, everything in moderation.’

  It carefully laid the Denizen down on the coloured stones, which shifted under him like beans in a beanbag. As the creature moved and the light shone through its wing, Arthur saw lines and lines of type moving within the membrane between the bones.

  ‘You are Part Five!’ he exclaimed, relief making his voice squeak, so he sounded a bit like the Beast himself. ‘Of the Will, I mean.’

  ‘Of course I am, dear boy,’ said the Beast.

  ‘I’m Arthur. That is, the Rightful Heir to—’ ‘I know, I know. I wondered when you would finally get here.’

  ‘Oh,’ said Arthur. ‘You knew I was here?’

  ‘One Who Survived the Darkness talks to me a little,’ the Will replied. ‘Very tough Denizen, she is. Most of them can’t go back to the Eyrie. Some deep psychological thing once the mask and leather comes off.’

  Arthur looked at the unconscious Denizen.

  ‘What happens to them, then?’

  ‘They wander down through the hidden ways and take up other employment,’ said the Will. ‘A lot of them become Paper Pushers on the canal. Now, if you wouldn’t mind removing my chain? I believe there is a lot of work to be done, and while too much work is to be discouraged, I believe a fair amount should be essayed each and every day.’

  ‘Okay,’ said Arthur. He walked over to the Will, which was quite difficult since the pebbles kept slipping under his feet. ‘What’s with all these little stones?’

  The Will looked down at the stones.

  ‘A hobby. I’ve made one for every week of my confinement here. They do add up, don’t they? I suppose I should not have kept at it, but it is generally very dull down here in the Inner Darkness. Friday used to come and talk to me too, once upon a time, but I believe she has developed other interests in more recent times.’

  ‘You could say that,’ said Arthur. He reached up and touched the chain to see what it was made of and whether there was any chance of breaking or releasing it without using the Fourth Key. But as his fingers touched the metal, the links simply fell apart, though the crown-collar remained around the Will’s neck.

  ‘Excellent! The touch of the Rightful Heir is true,’ said the Will. ‘I’m so glad you’re not an imposter. I really didn’t want to eat you.’

  ‘I appreciate that,’ said Arthur. He was beginning to like Part Five of the Will. It appeared to be much more relaxed than the other parts and more normal … considering it was a giant bat-dragon monster.

  ‘Now tell me your doubtless fiendishly cunning plan,’ said the Will. It flexed its wings, nearly buffeting Arthur into the pebbles. ‘Pardon me. A little stretch before I resize. It has been most troublesome not being able to shrink all this time.’

  ‘My plan … ’ said Arthur. ‘My plan … ’

  His mouth stayed open as the Beast shrank before his eyes, going from a forty-foot-long monster to a strange-looking critter the size of a handbag poodle in a matter of seconds.

  ‘Too small?’ asked the Will. It jumped to Arthur’s shoulder and let out a squawk like a parrot, which sounded very odd from a russet bat’s mouth. Its draconic tail hung down Arthur’s back and made him ticklish. ‘Mind if I ride? Flying is all very well, but not for extended periods. Now tell me the plan.’

  ‘The plan is …’ Arthur began. ‘Not much of a plan. Lady Friday has supposedly abdicated—’

  ‘She hasn’t,’ said the Will. ‘Not officially. For it to be official, she’d have to tell me, and she hasn’t.’

  ‘Has she left the Key in her Scriptorium for either me, the Piper, or Saturday to claim?’

  ‘She hasn’t done that either,’ said the Will. ‘The Key’s not even in the House. It’s out in the Secondary Realms somewhere. I can feel it.’

  ‘Um, well, the Piper and Saturday’s Noon have gone up to the Scriptorium to get the Key,’ said Arthur. ‘Hopefully they’ve killed each other. I was planning to go up and see what was what, with a force of Gilded Youths, but …’

  ‘But what?’ asked the Will. ‘Sounds like a good plan to me. Simple. You don’t want too much complexity in a plan. Nice and straightforward. Let’s get going.’

  ‘If the Key’s not even there, why bother?’ said Arthur. But he started clambering back to the ladder.

  ‘Might find out something useful,’ said the Will. ‘I’ve got a feeling we should take a look anyway. Friday’s obviously gone off the deep end. No knowing what she’s done. How’s the rest of me doing, by the way?’

  ‘The rest of you?’ Arthur looked around as if there might be some errant tail or other missing bit.

  ‘Rest of the Will!’

  ‘Oh, Dame Primus,’ said Arthur. ‘Fine, I think. Only since Part Four joined up, she’s been a bit … vindictive.’

  ‘Hmm, interesting,’ said the Will. ‘Well, I’m bound to be unbalanced without me, if you know what I mean.’

  ‘No, I don’t,’ Arthur admitted.

  ‘Moderating influence,’ said the Will. ‘Calming temperament, that sort of thing. Known for it, you know. Got any other Keys with you, by the way? I mean left them upstairs or whatever? I can only sense the Fourth at your side.’

  ‘That’s it,’ said Arthur. ‘Dame Primus wields the others as my deputy. She’s got my Compleat Atlas too.’

  ‘Hmm,’ said the Will. ‘Still, it’s unlikely I would do anything really unbalanced without the rest of me … but perhaps we should hurry. Don’t bother with the ladder. Use those wings. Mind if I hold on to your ear? Hup! Hup!’

  Twenty-two

  WITH THE WILL’S encouragement, Arthur flew back up very swiftly. His emergence from the manhole was met by some incredulity, since he’d only been gone for twenty minutes. The small beast on his shoulder was also an object of curiosity for Fred and Suzy, who Arthur quickly introduced. The absence of the Servant guide was as quickly explained, and the Will immediately set flapping off down the corridor, urging the others to follow without delay.

  Their passage out of the Eyrie was unlike their silent entry. Even more Servants thronged the passage, and as the Will flew past, they kneeled down and uttered a strange keening noise in homage, with many also flapping their wings.

  One Who Survived the Darkness was waiting near the exit to the outer air. She knelt before the Will, who flew over and sat on her head. The two spoke quietly – too quietly for Arthur to hear – and then the Will flew back to the boy’s shoulder.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Arthur, his words soon echoed by Suzy and Fred.

  The Servant made a simple sign, bowed deeply, and retreated back up the passage.

  ‘I know that sign,’ said Suzy. ‘That was goodbye.’

  ‘It was farewell,’ said Fred. ‘Which is not quite the same.’

  ‘It was ‘fly far,’ actually,’ said the Will. ‘With a dash of ‘fly fast’ – which we had best do. Perhaps I shall grow a little and shield my eyes against the sunlight.’

  The Will jumped off Arthur’s shoulder and before it had landed, it was about the same size as the boy. It had also grown tinted inner eyelids, which it flicked up and down in a disturbing fashion.

  ‘I’ll go first,’ said Arthur. ‘Just in case. I need to warn them too, that Fred’s wing might fail.’

  ‘No it won’t,’ said the Will. ‘He’d have to lose a lot more feathers for that.’

  ‘I’ll still go first,’ said Arthur. ‘To … um … smooth the way.’

  ‘The Gilded Youths will recognise me for what I am,’ said the Will, correctly interpreting Arthur’s caution.

  ‘But Ugham might not, and he’s quick wit
h a spear,’ said Arthur. ‘Wait a moment before you come out.’

  Ugham and the Gilded Youths were still circling outside. Arthur stood on the edge of the crevasse and called out to them, warning them of the Will’s appearance. Then he dove out, spreading his wings as he fell, to swoop back up and join the aerial company.

  Suzy came next, then the Will, then Fred, all launching safely. The Will immediately began to climb up towards the Scriptorium on the peak. Arthur followed it, with Suzy and Fred flapping strongly to catch up – and to stay away from Ugham, who swooped over to them and cast reproachful looks without openly berating them for running out on him. The Newnith had a strong practical streak, thought Arthur. He would try to fulfill his duty but didn’t obsess over past infractions. Or so Arthur hoped.

  A few hundred feet short of the peak, the Will slowed down and twisted around.

  ‘Preparation is the first part of practice!’ it called back.

  ‘What?’ asked Suzy.

  ‘Ready weapons,’ ordered Fifteen, taking out a short, deeply curved bow from the case at her side and a stubby arrow from the sheath on her leg. ‘Notch arrows.’

  Forty Gilded Youths followed her example in smooth motion.

  ‘Ten high, ten left, ten right, ten with,’ commanded Fifteen. The Gilded Youths split into groups as ordered, ten of them staying with Arthur and their leader.

  The Scriptorium didn’t look like much, Arthur thought as they reached the mountaintop and climbed up still higher before swooping down. There was a flat place the size of a tennis court on the very crest, and on that small area was a round, onion-domed building. The dome was gilded, which was somewhat impressive, but the foil had flaked off in many places to reveal the wooden tiles underneath. The walls were yellow plaster and they too needed repair. The building had no obvious windows.

  There were a lot of bodies clustered around the single door. Arthur hovered, looking for any Piper’s children that he recognised. But the bodies were all Denizens, presumably Saturday’s Internal Auditors. They were dressed in black nineteenth-century-style long coats and wore long powdered wigs. Most clutched swords with blades that looked like enlarged and elongated fountain pen nibs.

  ‘No match for the Piper,’ said Suzy.

  ‘Indeed,’ said the Will. ‘The Piper is a most powerful individual. But we have me, and Lord Arthur has a Key. Onward!’

  It swooped down, landing in front of the door. One of the Internal Auditors who had been lying there, apparently dead, immediately jumped up and pointed his sword, more like a gun than a medieval weapon. The Will chuckled and dived under the stream of Activated Ink that sprayed from the nib. Then he leaped up and bit the Auditor on the elbow. The Denizen sighed, dropped his weapon, and then dropped himself like a boneless fish.

  ‘One way to do it,’ said Suzy, clearly impressed.

  Arthur landed in a whirl of wings and Gilded Youths. Ten stayed aloft as the others came down and formed up around him, Fred, and Suzy. There were so many of them standing so close that Arthur had trouble getting to the door, which the Will was already going through.

  The Piper was waiting for them inside, standing alone in a ring of dead Piper’s children and the motionless body of a superior Denizen, one who had once worn the immaculate clothes of a Victorian dandy, his dark red waistcoat stained with his own blue blood. A broken ebony stick lay at his side, his smashed-in top hat next to it.

  The Piper’s children were the ones who had gone with Arthur on the ill-fated raid to stop the Spike in the Great Maze. Arthur recognised them immediately: Quicksilver, Gluepot, Yellowbristle, Awning, Halfcut, Sable, and Ermine.

  The Piper’s own yellow greatcoat was rent in several places as if torn by weapons, but there was no sign of him being actually wounded. His steel mask hid his face as always, abetted by the Napoleon hat of black oilskin. He held his wooden pipes in his gloved right hand. His left hand was also gloved, but empty.

  Beyond the Piper, the room was empty, save for a slim spire of dark stone that rose up to waist-level. On it sat a shining silver mirror that Arthur knew was supposed to be the Key.

  One of the Piper’s children on the floor moved. Arthur took a breath, only in that second noticing that he had not been breathing.

  ‘They’re alive!’ said Fred.

  ‘Saturday’s minion overrated his power to kill against my own,’ said the Piper easily. His voice was almost as melodious as it had been before Part Four of the Will had spat acid at him.

  He inclined his head to Arthur. ‘I see you have once again brought the thing that calls itself the Will against me, Arthur.’

  ‘It’s a different part,’ Arthur replied. He didn’t take his eyes off the Piper, though he wasn’t sure what he would, or could, do if he raised his pipes. ‘I didn’t know what Part Four was going to do. I’d told it not to do anything poisonous.’

  ‘I suppose you expect to claim the Fifth Key too?’ said the Piper.

  ‘I will,’ said Arthur. ‘But that’s not the Key. Friday’s tried to trick us into fighting each other. It’s kind of worked too.’

  ‘You say that is not the Key?’ asked the Piper. ‘But you are here, with the Will and a force of lovely Gilded Youths. They are fine, are they not? They are mine too, you know, in essence.’

  The Piper’s words were not just words. Arthur could almost see the power in them, and he saw Fifteen flinch as the Piper spoke.

  ‘Yes, ultimate master Piper,’ said Fifteen. The Gilded Youths with her breathily echoed her words in a whispered chorus.

  ‘Not to mention Banneret Ugham,’ continued the Piper. He made a small motion with his left hand, and Ugham strode over to the Piper’s side.

  Arthur kept his gaze on the Piper.

  One lunge to the heart, he thought, if he raises the pipes – ‘This is all rather tedious and beside the point,’ said the Will. ‘That isn’t the Key, you know. Moreover, it is almost certainly a trap of a very nasty kind. We would all do better to leave and carry on whatever we must discuss outside.’

  The Piper ignored the Will.

  ‘Ugham, fetch me the mirror from that stand of stone.’

  ‘Don’t,’ said Arthur. ‘It’s a trap. Besides, if it was the Key, it would kill you!’

  Ugham nodded. ‘We know that our prince loves us not, save that we serve him. But he made us, and that is not a debt easy to repay. We serve with what honour we may retain. One slight matter remains, before I take up yonder—’

  ‘I said to pick up that mirror, Ugham,’ interrupted the Piper. He had not moved, the steel mask facing Arthur, the dark holes where eyes might lie in line with Arthur’s gaze.

  ‘You do not wish to hear of a matter of import, milord?’ asked Ugham.

  ‘Get on with it!’ said the Piper, his voice cracking.

  Ugham nodded again, bent down, and put his spear, knuckle-duster knife, and sword on the floor. Then he reached inside his coat and put a small, folded piece of paper under the knife. Standing up, he looked Arthur in the face, and his third eye, above his forehead, winked.

  ‘Don’t do it, Uggie!’ said Suzy. She started forward, but Arthur grabbed her elbow and hauled her back.

  ‘Wisely done, Arthur,’ said the Piper. His voice was smooth again, but so loaded with menace that Arthur felt like he was in a room with a bomb. He had no idea of the Piper’s full powers but he wasn’t confident about taking him on, even with the Fourth Key and the Will at his side. Not with the Gilded Youths arrayed against him as well.

  Not to mention one sound of that pipe and Suzy and Fred will be stopped cold, Arthur thought.

  Ugham saluted the Piper, but the salute also encompassed Arthur, Suzy, and Fred. Then he quickly strode over to the stone plinth, reached over, and picked up the mirror.

  There was no immediate result. Ugham’s shoulders relaxed a little, he took half a step back, he began to turn – and the stone floor beneath his feet groaned and shifted and then it wasn’t there, an area ten feet in diameter replaced by a whirling vo
rtex of Nothing.

  In the instant the floor disappeared, Ugham was destroyed. He had no time to react or cry out; he was instantly dissolved into the pure darkness of Nothing.

  Everyone else in the room only had a few seconds more. The vortex spun wider, stones falling into it as it spread.

  The Piper was the first to react. With his pipes he sketched steps in the air, creating an entrance to the Improbable Stair. He jumped onto it as the floor beneath his feet ceased to exist.

  Everyone else, including most of the unconscious Piper’s children on the floor, was suddenly swept out of the way by an enormous scaly tail. Knocked head over heels, Arthur found himself being dragged over a knocked-down wall as the Will simultaneously grew large, smashed the wall down, and pulled the contents of the room, including Arthur, to temporary safety.

  But it was only a brief respite. The vortex was still expanding. Gilded Youths sprang into the air in a panic around Arthur as he struggled to his feet. Suzy was trying to pick up Quicksilver, and Fred had his arms around Sable, his wings flapping in a frenzy.

  ‘The Key, Arthur!’ roared the Will. ‘Use the Key. This is a breach into the Void itself!’

  Twenty-three

  ARTHUR BALANCED ON the very edge of the mountain, his wings extended, and raised the Fourth Key. It stayed in its baton shape, but shone with an internal light that reflected back from the crocodile ring, more gold than silver.

  The vortex spread towards Arthur. Almost the entire top of the mountain was a dark absence now, and Arthur instinctively knew that as the breach into the Void spread outwards it also expanded down, eating the substance of the House.

  He concentrated on the vortex and on the Key, building a picture in his mind of how it had looked when he’d flown up only minutes before.

  ‘Be as you were,’ he said. ‘The House rebuilt, the Nothing banished.’

  The Key grew hot in his hand but the Nothing continued to spread, though more slowly.

  I can’t do it! thought Arthur, panic suddenly filling him. His concentration slipped. The Nothing began to spread more quickly, smoothly destroying everything as it lapped towards his feet. The Fourth Key isn’t strong enough in the Middle House! I need the Fifth Key and I haven’t got it!