Miracles

  He smiled. “Yes, really. I’m serious. I’ve been a Christian for a few years now. But last night something happened. I had a dream.”

  “A dream?” she repeated. “What happened in your dream?”

  He leaned forward on the table. She didn’t look away. “The Lord spoke to me. He started making me care about the condition of people’s souls. And today I’ve found out that there are frightened souls, empty souls, guilty souls, tired souls . . .”

  Her eyes filled up with tears, and she looked away. He had never seen her cry before. He didn’t know if he was going to cry now too, but something about those incipient tears grabbed his heart. He didn’t know what to say next. He wished his wife was here, so she could try this from a woman’s perspective. He wished he had his Bible or a tract that he could toss at her and run.

  He was shaking, fearful that he’d upset her more, but he made himself speak. “Janie, don’t you want that rest?”

  “If I understood how it could happen, I’d take it in a minute,” she said. “But just because the Bible said it doesn’t mean it’s true.”

  “Because the Bible said it is the best reason to believe it’s true.”

  “You believe that?” she asked.

  He nodded.

  “So what do I have to do? Start going to church? Change how I dress? Do my hair different? Quit going out with men?”

  He shrugged. “Hey, do I look like I have a list of rules on me?”

  “Isn’t that what Christianity is about? Rules?”

  “No way. It is not a list of dos and don’ts. It’s about God choosing you because he loves you.”

  “Choosing me?” she asked. “Heaven forbid that God should choose me for anything.”

  He took a bite of his hamburger and chewed. It bought him a couple of minutes. Finally, he spoke again. “Janie, let me tell you how much God loves you.”

  “Yeah, you tell me,” she said, almost mocking.

  “Enough to send his only Son to die for you.”

  She smirked. “See, that’s what I don’t get. I’ve never asked anybody to die for me. And when you Christians say that stuff about God sending his only son to die for me, my first question is why? What’s the point in that?”

  “He died for your sins, and for mine. Because of those sins, we’re all destined for hell, but Jesus came to seek and to save that which was lost, and all we have to do is believe in him, and we can change our direction.”

  “I know an awful lot of people who believe in Jesus,” she said. “They’re some of the people I drink with at night. Some of the men who try to come home with me. Some of the ones who gamble on the boats. They have ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ bumper stickers and those little fish symbols on their cars. But they’re not a whole lot different from me.”

  “You got that right.”

  She squinted at him, obviously surprised. “What?”

  “They should be different, but you’re right about their being a bunch of sinners. Christians are sinners saved by grace.”

  “And what is that supposed to mean? See, I hear this saved-by-grace stuff on the radio every Sunday, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what it means.”

  “It means that while we were sinners, Christ died for us, because God promised he would punish sin. We didn’t deserve to have Christ pay that penalty for us, and we still don’t deserve it. But it doesn’t make it any less true. And just because some Christians are hypocrites and just because some of us let God down, it doesn’t change any of it. The bottom line is that Christ is true. And he sent me here three times today to talk to you.”

  She shot him a disbelieving look. “He didn’t send you here to talk to me. He sent you for breakfast and lunch.”

  “Sorry, Janie, but the food’s not that good. He sent me because your soul is tired and because there’s rest waiting for you.”

  Her eyes were growing misty again. “Yeah? And how do I get it?”

  “By just believing.” He shifted in his seat. “Not just recognizing your need, but clinging to God to meet your need. Holding on to him for dear life. Embracing him.”

  “So you’re saying that if you believe with all your heart, it makes you different.”

  “That’s exactly what I’m saying. Not a bunch of rules. Just clinging.” He smiled and leaned across the table. “The thing is that when you believe, when you really believe, the Holy Spirit will start making changes in you, not because of a list of rules, but because he loves you and wants the very best for you.”

  “Humph,” she said. “I don’t know about that.” She scratched a spot off of the table with her fingernail. “You know, you ought to be careful. You start talking to somebody like me about God, and the next thing you know, I might actually show up at your church.”

  “Why would that be a bad thing?”

  She shrugged and combed her fingers through the black roots of her bleached hair. “I’m not exactly the kind of person who was raised in Sunday school.”

  “Neither am I,” he said. “Even as a believer, sometimes I’m not the type. But God’s working on me. He hasn’t given up on me yet, and he hasn’t given up on you, either.”

  She seemed to be considering his words. “So it’s not a crush or your stomach that brought you here three times today?”

  “Nope. I came because God loves you.”

  “See, those two things—God and love—don’t go together. My picture of God is of a ruler with a big stick, striking down everybody who makes him mad. And I seem to have a knack for that.”

  “Your picture is wrong. Jesus told a story about a son who took his inheritance and squandered it away on parties and sinful living until he lost everything and had to take a job feeding pigs.”

  Janie looked around her. “Yep, I can relate to that.”

  “He realized how much better off he was with his father, so he went back home to ask his father to hire him. He figured his father would never welcome him back into the family, but he hoped he would at least give him a job. But his father saw him coming from a long way off, and he ran out to kiss him. He put a robe and a ring on him and threw this huge party to celebrate his boy’s homecoming. That father is the picture of God waiting for you, Janie. Not with condemnation, but with longing and deep love.”

  For the first time, Janie seemed speechless. Her eyes lit on his for a moment, then darted off, pensive. “If that was true . . . if I could have a love like that . . .”

  “You do, Janie,” Sam said. “All you have to do is reach out and embrace your waiting Father.”

  Her eyes blurred with tears, and she wiped them away as they fell.

  6

  IT WAS MIDAFTERNOON BY THE TIME SAM GOT BACK home, still shaking after his time with Janie. Kate, who got off at three, would be home soon unless her ride didn’t bring her straight here. He saw that the light on his answering machine was flickering, so he pushed the button and dropped down on his couch while he listened.

  “Hey, Sam, it’s me—Bill. Me and the guys’ll pick you up at six for the game. Jeff and Steve are coming, but Brother John can’t come because he has a meeting tonight. Call me if there’s a problem.”

  Sam sat up quickly. He had completely forgotten about the game he had tickets for tonight. It was the biggest game of the year, between the two biggest state universities. They went every year, but this year was particularly exciting because neither team had lost a game yet.

  But then he realized that this wouldn’t be like other years. He was different.

  What would it be like sitting in those stands and hearing all those needy souls around him? He thought of begging off.

  He lay down on the couch and tried to take a nap, catch up on some of the sleep he’d lost the night before, but those voices he’d heard today kept circling through his mind. The woman who thought gravity would let her go; the one who thought she was her past; the man who thought he was dirty . . .

  He sat up and thought of the people in the houses around him, all of th
em with voices and needs. What if he could address them all? Help them as he’d helped Janie? He realized this “gift” was going to hound him. But even Christ took time to rest, he thought. Then he berated himself. He had spoken to a few people about Christ today, and now he was patting himself on the back, thinking he deserved a nap. As if he’d addressed multitudes, cast out demons, healed the sick . . .

  What was the matter with him? He could do better than he’d done. He didn’t have to cower away in his house for fear of hearing what he didn’t want to hear. He should see this gift as John saw it—he should look at these as opportunities. He heard the kitchen door shut, and Kate shouted out, “Sam?”

  “In here,” he called.

  She came to the living room doorway, still wearing her nurse’s uniform. She helps people every day, he thought. Maybe God should have given her the gift. She would have done a better job of using it. She probably would have never considered using those lottery numbers. “What are you doing home so early?” she asked.

  He lay back down on the couch and patted the cushion next to his hip. “Come here,” he said.

  She approached him slowly. “Are you all right?”

  He shook his head. “Sit down.” She sat slowly down beside him and touched his forehead. “You’re not hot. Are you sick?”

  “Sort of. Well, not really.” He swallowed and looked up at her. “Remember that dream last night? The one I told you about?”

  She nodded. “Vaguely. You were trying to catch a plane . . .”

  “No, that was your dream. Mine was the coin. The voice.”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  “It did something to me. I mean . . . God did something to me.”

  “What?”

  “He gave me ears . . . to hear. I mean . . . like he hears.” Kate’s expression reflected her confusion, and Sam sat up, putting his face close to hers. “I know it sounds crazy, but, Kate, you’ve got to believe me. Call John. He knows. I heard his soul, and then—”

  “His soul?” she cut in.

  “Yes. And other people’s. Everybody I got near today. I heard their spiritual needs. What Christ hears. And John went with me, and we talked to people . . .”

  “Went with you where?” She wasn’t following him at all.

  “To the diner and the hospital.”

  “You were at the hospital today? My hospital?”

  “Yes. But I didn’t look you up, because I was a little freaked out, and I didn’t know what to tell you about it. But, Kate, we told people about Jesus. Or John did. I just kind of sat there like dead weight. What else is new? But then . . . Janie, the waitress. She accepted Christ today after I talked to her, Kate. And there was this pregnant woman with a little girl and Mrs. Beautral’s husband. Did you know she had a husband?”

  She was looking at him, as if mentally fitting him for a straitjacket. “No.”

  “Well, she does, and he had gallbladder surgery, and now he’s a Christian.”

  “Because of his gall bladder surgery?”

  “No, because of our visit. Kate, you’re not listening!”

  She got up and backed away. “Sam, you’re scaring me.”

  “I’m scaring me,” he said, sitting up. “Kate, I was in the grocery store, and I heard all these voices at the same time. But their mouths weren’t moving. I was hearing their souls. Just what the Holy Spirit hears.”

  “Now I know this is a fantasy,” she cut in. “You haven’t been to the grocery store in years.”

  “I went to buy Tylenol. Kate, I’m telling you, I hear things people don’t even know they’re feeling.”

  She turned and headed for the kitchen. “I’m getting the thermometer.”

  “Kate!” He followed her into the kitchen, and as she rummaged through a drawer looking for it, he heard her voice.

  “I wish I could have a broken heart again.”

  “Aha!” he shouted. “You just said you wished you could have a broken heart. I heard you!” His face twisted as he realized the words made no sense. “Why do you want a broken heart?”

  She stopped riffling through the drawer and looked up at him. “I didn’t say anything about a broken heart.”

  “You did!” he said. “You did say it. You said, and I quote, ‘I wish I could have a broken heart again.’”

  Dumbfounded, she closed the drawer and moved across the island from him. “When you say you heard that, what do you mean?”

  “In your voice,” he said. “I heard it, Kate. It must be in there somewhere, in your soul, even if you don’t know it. Even if you wouldn’t say it out loud.”

  Her eyes changed, and her mouth rounded in surprise. “It is.”

  “See? I told you. What . . . what do you mean, you want a broken heart?”

  She seemed to struggle for words that she’d never uttered before. “I’ve been feeling like . . . like I’m not sensitive to the Holy Spirit anymore. Like I’ve gotten jaded. Like my zeal has faded. I keep thinking that I need God to break my heart so I can get back in tune with him. You know, ‘Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are those who mourn.’ I haven’t mourned for Christ in a very long time.”

  “Yes!” he shouted, jumping. Startled, she backed farther away and grabbed a spatula, as if that would protect her. “Honey, I know just how you feel!”

  “And you heard that?” she asked, obviously terrified. “In my voice?”

  “I thought it was a curse,” he said as tears came to his eyes. He crossed the room and, ignoring the spatula, took her shoulders. “Until I introduced Janie to Christ. And then I came home wiped out, like I’d just recited the Sermon on the Mount to five thousand people. I told one person how to know Jesus and I think I’m Elijah.”

  The shock was beginning to fade, and she looked fully at him now. “You really led someone to Christ?”

  “Yes! Can you believe it? Me! ”

  “I’ve never done that,” she said.

  “Go with me tonight,” he said. “to the game. The guys are picking me up at six, but I’ll call them and tell them I’ll just meet them there. John isn’t using his ticket, so we’ll run by and get his, and you can use it.”

  “You want me at the game?” She touched his forehead again. “You never take me to the game. It’s guys’ night out.”

  “I want you to come and see. I’ll hear the voices. You can help me. Maybe I’ll be less of a wimp when you’re with me.”

  “But what’ll you tell the guys? They’ll think I made you bring me. They’ll call you henpecked.”

  “I don’t care what they think. I’ll hear their needs too. Maybe I can light a fire under them to help me tell people. Think about it. We could spread out, all of us, and tell people about Jesus until the game’s over. We could tell dozens of people about Jesus tonight. We could—”

  She grabbed his wrist and began taking his pulse. “You’re not going to tell them you hear voices, are you?”

  “Well . . . I don’t know. They’re my best friends. My accountability partners. They can handle it.”

  “No, they can’t,” she said, dropping his wrist. “Trust me. You don’t want to tell anybody else about this. Just . . . find another way.”

  “Fine. But will you come?”

  “How can I refuse?” she asked. “I’m afraid to let you out of my sight. This could be the prelude to a stroke or something. Is your arm numb, Sam?”

  “No,” he said. “Kate, I feel great. Nothing is numb. I don’t have fever or palpitations. I just have this gift.”

  She couldn’t surrender her worries just yet. Those lines on her face were deep as she stared at him. “I’ll come, but I reserve the right to have you committed after the game if I see fit.”

  He grinned and pulled her into a hug. “Fine. People there need Jesus too.”

  7

  SAM AND KATE SHOWED UP AT THE STADIUM JUST after kick-off. Sam pushed through the crowd of people and up to the section where he and his friends always sat. The three guys were already there, sitting side
by side and yelling at the activity on the field. Sam led Kate down the row to the two empty seats.

  “Hey, guys, how’s it going?”

  Bill looked up and slapped hands with him. “Kate, you decided to come out with Sam tonight?”

  She gave him a contrite smile. “How will you guys ever forgive me?”

  “Man, this is gonna give all of us a bad name,” Jeff cut in. “When Andrea finds out that you got to come, next thing you’ll know, we’ll all have to bring our wives.”

  Sam glanced at Kate, hoping she wasn’t offended. “You know, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”

  “Look, I’ll just go home . . .”

  “Kidding,” Jeff said. “I was kidding.”

  But Sam knew he wasn’t. He squeezed Kate’s hand as they took their seats. He looked down at the field, trying to figure out what was going on. Smathers had the ball and State had just made a first down. A cheer rose up around them, and his friends sprang to their feet.

  Then he heard the voices.

  “I need a miracle.”

  Sam looked around, trying to figure out where the voice had come from. It was someone to the left of him, but he couldn’t zero in on it.

  “I’m gonna die, right here. I’m gonna die and shrivel up.”

  This came from behind him, and he swung around. All the fans behind him were on their feet, yelling at the top of their lungs.

  Next to him, he heard Bill’s voice, cracked and high-pitched as he yelled at the referee for making a bad call. But there was another voice coming from Bill. A quieter one that seemed to whisper in Sam’s ear. “I can’t be used. I’m worthless.”

  He looked over at his friend, frowning. He couldn’t believe that such a dismal thought could come from his soul while he stood on his feet, cheering and yelling at the game before them. Before he could react, he heard another voice from the row in front of him.

  “Nothing makes any sense. It’s all chance. Coincidence.”

  Then came the voice of a woman. “I don’t know where to go from here. I’ve forgotten my way home.”

  None of the faces that went with the voices seemed depressed or dismayed. The people seemed intent on the game, as if it was the one most important thing in their lives. He was amazed at the contrast with what he was hearing from deeper down.