Girl In The Mirror (Looking Glass Book 1)

  There was more roaring as more bikes drove up the street and stopped in front of my house. Nolan, Joaquin, and Xavier all jumped off their bikes and rushed over to see about Nico and the guy passed out on the grass.

  “What happened?” Nolan asked, gawking at Ryan’s seemingly lifeless body. “What did you do, Nico?”

  “I decked him,” Nico said with a shrug. He’d begun to turn back to me when Ryan started to moan.

  Another car pulled up to the already crowded street but parked across the street. Roger, Ryan’s brother, got out and hurried across toward us, glancing around at the crowd of neighbors that’d begun to spill out of their homes to watch the drama.

  “He’s drunk,” Roger stated the obvious as Ryan started to try and push himself up.

  “No shit,” I said, picking up the gift bag that had flown out of his hand. “He attacked me,” I said, making it sound worse than it was. “So, he was attacked right back.”

  Roger helped him up. Nolan, Joaquin, and I stepped in front of Nico when he appeared to want to charge at Ryan again. “Not worth it, Nico,” Joaquin said, holding Nico by the shirt.

  “He attacked you?” Nico said, nearly pushing his brothers off.

  I shook my head subtly, trying desperately to clue him in without Roger seeing that I’d exaggerated.

  Roger struggled, trying to keep Ryan upright. “I’m sorry about this. He was really pissed, and I didn’t know how drunk, until his neighbor called to tell me he was being an idiot even with him and then got in his car and drove off. I figured he’d be coming here. I’ll get him out of your hair, Maggie, and come back and get his car in a little bit.”

  I handed him the bag. “Make sure he gets this. I don’t want him to have any reason to come here ever again.”

  Roger nodded, taking the bag from me, and apologized again to me then my mom. He didn’t say a word to Nico or his brothers, just nodded in their direction. Ryan started slurring something, but Roger told him to shut up and pushed him along toward his car across the street.

  “Who was that?” Nico demanded.

  I refrained from jumping in his arms and wrapping my arms around him like I really wanted to. “That was Ryan, my ex.”

  Nico’s eyebrows furrowed. “The one who posted that you two were engaged?”

  I nodded. “We’re not.”

  “His post said you said, yes, Maggie, and you accepted his ring.”

  I shook my head, feeling the warm tears sting my eyes again. Only this time, the feelings of utter shame and guilt that had me sobbing earlier, were softened by the joy of the words I could finally say with all certainty.

  “I’m not Maggie.”

  His hardened expression broke as he stared at me for a second without saying anything. His eyes fell to my neck, and he began to shake his head. “Nolan told me it’s what you were thinking, but the birthmark—”

  “I had the birthmark removed a few years ago, Nico,” I said, feeling my face scrunch now that I’d said it out loud. “Maggie died in the accident, not me.”

  Chapter 28

  “A few years ago, my doctor suggested I have the birthmark on my neck checked. It turned out to be fine,” I said, turning to my mom with a raised brow. “But because of my grandmother’s supposed death from melanoma cancer, I elected to have it removed anyway.”

  Utterly staggered were the only two words that described not just what Nico seemed to be but so were all three of his brothers. Nico shook his head again.

  “How?” he asked as if he still didn’t believe it; though his eyes had begun to pool. Then he turned to Mama, his expression going hard again. “Why?”

  I brought my hand to my chest, still unable to believe this was really happening. I knew the truth now, and now Nico would know too. But I glanced around, despite feeling desperate to explain it all to him already. Most of the neighbors had gone back into their home, but some still lingered like nosey Mrs. Conroy, who still stood across the street with Mrs. Walker, talking and obviously glancing in the direction of the motorcycles and the big bad bikers still standing out in our front yard.

  “I’ll explain inside,” I said, holding out my hand to him, “to all of you. Let’s go inside where we can have more privacy.”

  His brothers started to the door when Mama opened it and welcomed them in. Nico glanced down at my hand and seemed to hesitate even as his brothers walked past him. But then he reached out and took it. We started to the house behind Mama and his brothers, until he pulled me to him and I turned to face him. His eyes were completely flooded.

  “You’re not fucking with me, are you?”

  Instantly, I was annoyed. “How the hell can you and Nolan think I could be so cruel? Of course I’m not. Why would I do something like that?”

  His eyes searched mine frantically, but his expression changed. In spite of the tears in his eyes, I saw the hope, the mounting excitement in his eyes. “And you’re sure this isn’t a mistake?”

  The moment his hands cradled my face I knew it. He’d likely done this many times—done or said something to annoy me—and then just like that, with one touch, I was putty in his hands.

  “It’s not,” I whispered because I could barely speak again. “I’ve suspected for a while, but even more so after spending the weekend with you. I just didn’t understand how or why it could’ve happened. Mama never told me because she couldn’t.”

  “She knew?” The lethal flare in his eyes was a familiar one, one I’d seen many times. “She fucking knew?” he asked, raising his voice and finally glancing away to look in the house.

  “Shh,” I said, placing my hands over his hands still cradling my face.

  Just as I’d calmed from one of his touches, my touch took a little of the severity from his expression but not entirely. “She had good reason, baby. I was mad too, but once she explained, I understood why she had to cover up the truth.”

  My calling him baby made his brows pinch. “So, I really have my peanut back?” His voice gave, and he pulled me into a crushing hug.

  He pulled away to gaze in my eyes again, the deep emotion in his bloodshot watery eyes touching me deep in my soul, just as his poignant eyes had every time I’d been around him. “This better not be a fucking dream.”

  “It’s not, Nico. It’s real.”

  Nico’s eyes fell to my lips, and then he kissed them softly, as if he were being extra careful, like maybe if he got too carried away, we just might wake up from this blissful dream. I was well aware that my nosey neighbors were still watching us from across the street and that my standing here with this biker, kissing and holding on to each other for dear life, was enough to keep them staring and speculating about today’s happenings. But I didn’t care. I was finally back in my soul mate’s arms, and I was never letting go.

  Well, metaphorically. Mama was already at the door, urging us to come inside. “You two need to get inside before Mrs. Conroy’s eyes pop out of that Jack O’Lantern head of hers.”

  I pulled away from Nico but still felt way too choked up to laugh like I normally would’ve at Mama’s annoyed cracks about our nosey neighbor’s big head. We walked inside, but Nico kept me close to him, even brought me down onto his lap when he took a seat in our ottoman. Just like all his gazes, touches, and kisses, even this felt familiar. He pecked me again when I turned to face him. It felt so perfect I could hardly stand it, and I took his face in my hands and kissed him long and deep, despite everyone watching us.

  The four massive brothers took up most of the space in Mama’s small front room. “Well, I had my doubts,” Xavier said with a chuckle. “But this sure ain’t Maggie.”

  Nico groaned, crushing me in his arms again, then stared at me with his still red-rimmed eyes swimming in tears. “There is a God,” he whispered.

  “Yes, there is,” I whispered back.

  “So how the hell did this happen?” Joaquin asked.

  Taking a deep breath, I forced my eyes away from Nico’s and faced his brothers. “Mama saved me
from going to prison.”

  Mama and I took turns telling the story. She also let me in on a few other things she hadn’t told me when she first explained it all to me.

  “I considered telling Madeline the truth more than once but each time thought it too risky. The time I came closest to just doing it,” she said, turning to me, “was the day you came home and asked me about Nico. My heart nearly stopped. But we were interrupted when the cops came to the door and you forgot to ask for his card back. I took the perfect timing as a sign that I shouldn’t tell you and got rid of the card. I hoped after what I’d told you about him and his brothers you might forget about it and let it go.” She smiled, shaking her head as she glanced down at our entwined fingers. “I should’ve known better.”

  I told them all about how I’d always felt something missing in my heart. How I assumed it was my sister who I’d been so close to, but I’d always suspected there was more to it.

  “I have another storage unit, you know,” Mama said, surprising me. “I did my best to get rid of everything I thought might remind you too much of anything. Obviously, I slipped and missed a lot. I knew there was always the possibility that you might wake one day and remember everything. It’d be hard enough for you to forgive what I’d been forced to do, so I held on to all the photos of you and Nico, the gifts he gave you over the years, and personal items you held onto that meant a lot to you, things I thought too risky to show you because they might touch your heart, stirring up lost memories. It’s also why I told you Grandma had died of melanoma. I figured eventually we’d need to get rid of the birthmark, just to be completely on the safe side. I put it out there for when that day might come. So, it worked out beautifully, or so I thought, when the doctor was the one to suggest you getting it checked and not me. Little did I know it was what would ultimately blow the cover up.”

  As excited as this made me, it also reminded me of something else. “I found more videos in that tote,” I said, pointing at the tote that still sat where I’d dropped it, “one of Maggie and me giving each other makeovers and another of us picking a Christmas tree, but there was one of us in New York. Were those some of the ones you forgot about?”

  Mama groaned. “I thought I’d put that one in the other storage as well. You have no idea the lengths I’ve gone to try and keep from igniting those damn triggers of yours. I had to be careful about the photos and videos that made it too clear who was who and who had the birth mark. But like anything you’d ever been so passionate about, I thought telling you about New York was too risky. It might trigger the fact that you were the artist with the lifelong dream of visiting New York. You were so ecstatic when I told you we were going. It was all you talked about for weeks before and never did stop talking about it after.”

  “No shit,” Joaquin said, laughing. “Even I heard about the trip, and it’d been years since you’d gone.”

  “I was sixteen,” I reminded him. “It couldn’t have been that many years ago when I told you.”

  “You remember?” Mama asked.

  I nodded, feeling the heaviness of it all consume me again. “I remembered immediately.”

  “Then I guess I made a good call keeping it from you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about Maggie’s love of cooking?”

  She shook her head. “I had to hide any and all evidence of that too. Even the homeless wouldn’t eat your cooking.” The guys all laughed, including Nico, and I nudged him. Mama smirked. “Seriously, I figured you had a better chance in nursing school than culinary. You had shown an interest in it as well. But I knew it’d raise too many questions if you knew how good you were supposed to be in the kitchen.”

  “Why Connecticut?” Nico asked and that reminded me too.

  “Yeah, Mama, they said the last they heard we’d moved to Connecticut. What’s in Connecticut?”

  She explained how she’d been desperate for any job out of Huntsville and had applied anywhere there was an opening for an accounting position. “It was the first callback I’d gotten at the time. I told our landlord about moving, so I told him we were moving there, but the job fell through.”

  “How soon can I go see the other storage unit?” I asked as, incredibly, my heart sped up even more.

  “I’ll take you soon enough, but first we have other things to worry about,” Mama said, standing up. “I guess it’s safe to say you’re completely done with Ryan, even a friendship.”

  “Yes, she is,” Nico said before I could respond. “Completely done.”

  “Good.” Mama looked a little worried suddenly. “He doesn’t know anything about Nico, does he?”

  “No, I did tell him I’d reconnected with someone from my past but never mentioned Nico to him before. He thinks Nolan and I might have a thing.”

  “Why’s that?” Nico asked immediately.

  I explained about the guy at the bar that first time Ryan got ugly and about Nolan’s Facebook post. The post thing made Nico chuckle.

  Mama and her scheming ways were all over it. “Even better. Let him keep thinking that. If he ever asks you about it again, tell him it is the same guy from the bar. The last thing we need is for him to start poking around and finding out Maggie ended up with Madeline’s boyfriend. He might question it and find holes in the story, if you told him about Maddie cheating on Nico as we discussed. You need to just cut all ties with him ASAP.”

  “Oh, I’ll make sure of that,” Nico said then squeezed my hand. “But what the hell’s this about you cheating on me?”

  I shook my head, still unable to believe this was really happening yet. “Ryan’s a good guy, but he’s so different when he’s been drinking.”

  I told him and his brothers, who were all peering at me in the same way, about the story Mama had suggested I tell Ryan if he ever found out about Nico.

  “So, you’re gonna keep pretending to be Maggie?” Nico asked as if maybe I was actually going to change everything in my life now to be Madeline again.

  “On paper, yes, I have to.”

  He thought about it for a moment. “I guess you do.”

  “Yes, guys,” Mama said sternly. “This can’t leave this room. Madeline and I would be in a world of trouble if the truth ever got out.”

  “This is just . . .” Joaquin said, standing up and shaking his head. “I still can’t believe this.” He turned to Nico and me, just as Nico’s lips brushed against my neck, and pointed at us. “You can’t make this shit up. I mean seven years he thinks she’s dead, and less than an hour after being together again, you’re all over each other. Not that I’d expect anything less, but fuck!”

  “I was with her this weekend, ass,” Nico said, kissing the spot where my beauty mark used to be, making my entire body tremble. “I knew something was up even then. I just couldn’t figure it out.”

  “Yeah, he pretty much called it,” Xavier said, backing Nico. “He said, if it hadn’t been for the missing birthmark, he’d swear it was Maddie. Thought maybe Maggie had just evolved over the years—grew out of her shy demeanor.”

  “It’s what Mama told me to try and explain why the hell I wasn’t the least bit shy anymore.”

  They all laughed, including Mama. She shook her head. “That’s another thing I should’ve prepared better for. Madeline’s fierce personality would not be squelched, no matter how much I reminded her she was supposed to be the reserved one. I was able to convince her she wanted to be a nurse, but the power of thought was not on my side when convincing her to tone down that personality, damn it.”

  The brothers said they had to get going. They had a two-hour drive home. They explained they’d all gone after Nico when he’d gotten our address from Nolan then stormed out of the house on a mission. They had no idea what was going on, except that it had everything to do with me—or Maggie—getting engaged until we explained the wild story.

  The butterflies danced in my stomach as we walked them out. “I’ve already paid for my room tonight.” I thought I’d said it low enough but a
pparently not.

  “Christ, Madeline.” Mama sighed heavily. “If you’re taking him there, because God knows I can’t stop you and maybe it’s better if his bike isn’t parked outside my house all night, go straight there. And please be discreet. That poor guy is still sulking somewhere, I’m sure. Remember this may’ve been happening to you for a long time, but this ending for you and Ryan, on a day he’d been in a delusional celebration about you accepting the ring, came out of the blue for him. Have some consideration for the idiot’s feelings before you go riding all over town with Nico. Don’t call any unnecessary attention to yourselves.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said, already feeling anxious about getting out of there and catching up with Nico—being alone with him again.

  “I’m not going into work tomorrow, Maddie. There’s a lot we need to talk about still and get straight. Come by for breakfast but not too early. I’m gonna need some sleeping aids tonight if I plan on getting any sleep, so I’ll likely sleep in.”

  “We won’t be getting much sleep tonight either,” Nico said with a soft smile. Mama whacked his arm, and he turned to her with genuine surprise in his eyes. “We have a lot of talking to do, Ms. Hellman.”

  Mama eyed him suspiciously but then sighed. “Forget the sleeping aids. I need a stiff drink.”

  I grabbed my things after the guys left, said goodnight to Mama, and we were off. Once again, I was in heaven this close to him. When we reached the hotel, the moment we were both off his bike, he picked me up and spun me around, holding me tight in his arms. When he put me down, he leaned his forehead to mine. “God, please don’t let this be a cruel dream.”

  “I know. I keep thinking the same thing,” I said, and my heart ached just thinking it. “If it is, I’ll refuse to wake up.”

  “Me too.”

  We walked slowly to my room. As anxious as I knew we should be to be alone, I felt the restraint from him too. This was as wonderful as it was bittersweet.

  “I killed them,” I whispered, feeling the guilt wash over me all over again.