My Bachelor

  My derisive laugh interrupted him. “All to myself?” Guess I was more in the mood to get into it than I realized. “Maybe you missed the twenty plus people standing around with cameras, sound equipment and fucking nose powder in case someone gets a shine. We’ve been bowling for three hours.”

  Doug’s jaw shifted angrily, but it seemed he was determined to keep his cool. “I understand. Look, we just need a little more footage of you interacting with the girls. By the way, I’ve noticed you have a certain propensity toward Janelle. Can’t blame you there. Just like you, she is gold on film. Together, you two are like fucking on screen magic. Why don’t you consider carving her away from the rest of the group for some alone time?”

  Just as he asked the question, Eliot came around the corner. We’d hardly talked or seen each other all morning. She’d been sent on ahead to help with the set up, and I’d traveled to the bowling alley with some of the contestants. They were all still hungover from the impromptu margarita party they’d started the night before. Apparently, while they were all being pampered at the spa, they’d hatched a plan to storm the bachelor house with tequila and margarita mix. Eliot had just walked out on me, and I had to really work at feigning some enthusiasm for their party. It was hard to believe. I wished to hell I’d been able to talk to Noah just to tell him that I had a house filled with pretty women, all lightheaded from tequila, and the only person I could think about was my assistant. Noah would have one hell of a time with that little confession. None of it sounded like me.

  “Look, Doug, I’m going to take that break. I’m hungry.”

  “Where’s that assistant of yours?” Doug glanced quickly around. “Eliot,” he called sharply, pulling her from her conversation with Jackson. She headed over and avoided eye contact with me.

  “What the hell are you doing, Eliot? Do your damn job. Rafe needs a sandwich.” The way he spoke to Eliot made me tighten my fists.

  “Right. Of course.” Eliot hurried off toward the food table.

  “I’m perfectly able to make my own fucking sandwich.”

  My tone and words snapped Doug’s attention back to me. He forced a placating smile, which only increased my urge to punch him. “It’s her job. We don’t pay her to just stand around. Now, about some alone time with Janelle . . . or Ava . . . or that sweet little Nina, whoever suits your fancy. Let’s just get some one on one action going. Then we can wrap things up here.”

  “Yep. One on one. Got it. Now can I take my break?”

  Doug waved toward the food area with a relish and grinned with satisfaction that our talk had gone the way he wanted. He really was a fucking dickwad.

  I walked over to the table. Eliot didn’t look up as she quickly followed her order to fix me a sandwich. I reached over and took hold of her wrist. She still kept her focus on the plate.

  “I can make it myself, El.”

  She shook her head. “No, please, let me. It’s my job.” She pointed at the meat tray. “Turkey, right?”

  “Sure.”

  I leaned closer to make sure no one in the vicinity of the table would hear. “El, we need to talk.”

  “About what?” she asked, trying to sound indifferent and sounding anything but. She piled lettuce and tomatoes on the sandwich. “Pickles?”

  “Nope. That looks good.”

  “Hey, Rafe,” Lilly called from the nearby tables. She patted the bench next to her. “Saved you a spot.”

  I waved back to her.

  “El, please. I just want to talk.”

  She finally turned and peered up at me. “There’s nothing to talk about, Rafe. Really. I was giddy with the prospect of eating deep fried s’mores, and I made a few silly missteps. I won’t let it happen again. Here you go.” She handed me the plate. Her bottom lip was quivering slightly as if she was holding back tears.

  “Let me know if there’s anything else you need.” She hurried away.

  I put the plate down.

  “Rafe, honey?” Lilly called.

  “Forgot to wash my hands,” I called back and walked in the direction that Eliot had headed.

  My long strides caught up to her just as she’d rounded the corner to the restrooms. The hallway was empty. I took hold of her hand and spun her toward me. My earlier perception was right. Her blue eyes were wet with tears.

  “Eliot,” I said as I reached up to her face.

  She let my palm rest against her cheek for several seconds before shaking it away. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t say my name like that. Every time you say it like that, a tiny piece of my heart gets shaved away. And pretty soon there’ll be nothing left.”

  “Come see me tonight.”

  A short sob fell from her lips. Her hand flew to her mouth to stop it. “Don’t do that either. Did you notice the large group of incredible women out there? They are here for you.”

  “I thought you were here for me,” I teased. It wasn’t the right time for it, but seeing Eliot cry was ripping me up inside.

  “Yes, and I made you a sandwich. If there’s anything else you need.”

  “There is. Shit, El, you’re the incredible woman. You’re the one I want. This whole thing is so far out of reality for me. The whole fucking time it feels like I’m not really a part of it. Like I’m just watching the whole damn thing from above. The only part that is real is you. Please, just come see me tonight.”

  Giggles chirruped down the hallway as Nina and Ava rounded the corner.

  Eliot quickly pulled her hand from my grasp. “Please, Rafe. I can’t lose this job.” She hurried away.

  Chapter 26

  Eliot

  I sat in my car and gripped the steering wheel as if gravity had vanished and the car was my only anchor to Earth. The work day was over, and I should have felt relief. I’d even gotten through the rest of it without much direct contact with the man I was supposed to be assisting. But still, I couldn’t shake loose the anguish that had gripped me the second I saw Rafe at the start of the day. I had done it to myself. I’d convinced myself that I was allowed a little happiness, a moment where all my worries and responsibilities vanished, and the only thing remaining was the incredible man who had wrapped up my heart long before I’d even realized I was giving it away.

  The season for Sealed with a Kiss was not long, but it would seem interminable to me. After a few minutes of coaxing, followed by a good dose of cursing, Henry’s ragged motor finally turned over. My phone rang just as I put the car in reverse. It vibrated across the front seat. I stepped on the brakes and slapped it back into park.

  “Hey, Mom, I’m just leaving work. Can I call you when I get home?”

  “Sure. But I just wanted to let you know,” she continued unabated by my attempt to delay the conversation, “I went to the tire place and they did a very nice job putting on the new ones. It’s a nice, friendly place, but the coffee in their waiting room is a little weak and they need some new magazines or at least ones that aren’t about fishing and—”

  “Mom,” I said sharply to stop her verbal review of the waiting room. “I’m glad you got the new tires. Was it four hundred and fifty dollars like they quoted? I don’t have much wiggle room in my account if they charged more than that.”

  “That’s the funny thing, Eli. In fact, it’s the reason I called.”

  “Oh no, did they talk you into adding stuff on? I told you, Mom, no extras.”

  “Well, Eli, if you’d stop interrupting me I could finish my funny story with a happy but strange ending.”

  “Oh jeez, that doesn’t sound good. Go ahead. Finish.” I was already planning a quick trip to my online account to see just how far in the red I’d fallen after the tires.

  “So they called my name, and I went to the counter with your debit card. Then the girl t
old me that my bill had been paid in full. She handed me the keys and a cute car air freshener with their logo on it and told me to have a good day.”

  “Wait. What? There must have been some kind of mistake. I’ll call them.”

  “I’m not such a numbskull, Eli, that I didn’t of course insist that there had been a mistake. But the girl behind the counter checked the bill and told me Jill had taken care of it over the phone.”

  “Jill? Who’s Jill?”

  “See? That’s exactly what I asked the girl. She was very sweet, by the way. Very patient with all my questions. She had no idea who Jill was, but she’d called while my car was being worked on and she gave them a credit card number to cover the entire bill.”

  None of it made sense. “I’ll give the tire place a call tomorrow to see if I can clear up the confusion. Anything else, Mom?” As I finished the question, something occurred to me. “Wait, Mom. You said the name was Jill, right?”

  “Yes. Jill. I wrote it down on the back of the receipt just so I could ask you about her when I called. Do you know her?”

  “Maybe. Not directly. Anyhow, Mom, if there’s nothing else, I’ll call you later.”

  “All right, honey. Have a safe drive home.”

  I tossed my phone on the seat, backed my car out of the spot and turned it toward the back gate of the studio. I couldn’t quite pinpoint one emotion in the hurricane of feelings swirling through me. Even anger reared its ugly head a few times.

  My tires chirped when I hit the brakes in front of the house. I walked up to the door and knocked. Heavy footsteps plodded across the floor, and it briefly occurred to me that Rafe might not be alone. It was getting far enough along in the show that the bachelorettes, feeling more comfortable with the bachelor, would be more likely to traipse across the lawn for impromptu visits. Jackson had filled me in on a margarita party they’d started at the bachelor house the previous night. And while he told me the story and about how the cameras had popped on to capture some of the unscripted fun, all I could think was that I’d been in that same house standing semi-naked in the kitchen just hours before. I could have easily been caught on camera. Then even the union wouldn’t be able to save my job. I was taking too many chances with my life . . . with my heart. All I needed was Doug to get wind of the tire . . .

  My frets were cut short by the door opening. The usual splash of euphoria washed over me as Rafe gazed down at me with his unbelievable smile. How the heck did so much heartbreak get wrapped up in one tall package?

  “I can’t accept it,” I said before he even had a chance to say my name. I brushed past him, not needing to give any kind of show to Leo and the guys in security.

  Rafe shut the door and followed me into the front room. The sun was setting, and an orange glow sparkled off the picture window. “Can’t accept what?”

  “The tires. A woman named Jill paid for my mom’s tires. You mentioned that your sister’s name was Jill. I don’t know any other Jills except for the one who had a helluva time on the hill with Jack. Not this Jack.” I pointed to my curl. “The one with the pail of water.” I knew full well I was rambling almost incomprehensibly, but something about the way he was looking at me was shaking all rational thought from my head.

  I took a deep breath to halt my rambling and waited for him to deny it. But he didn’t.

  “I can’t let you pay for the tires. It would be wrong for me to take a gift from you. I could get fired.”

  “No one will find out, El. I promise.”

  “How did you manage it?”

  “Pretty easily. Leo doesn’t think real straight when he’s drunk or losing at poker. I let him put five minutes use of his phone into the pot in lieu of cash. He went for it. I called Jill and gave her the information. And don’t worry, she won’t say a word to anyone.”

  I gazed up at him for a long moment, trying to figure things out, but I kept coming back to the same question. “Why? Why would you do this? Why would you bother even thinking about someone as vaporous and invisible as me?”

  He stomped toward me, took hold of my arms and pulled me toward him. “Because, Eliot, you are anything but invisible.” He kissed me. “And if this is what vapor feels like, then throw me in a steam room and toss the fucking key.”

  My resolve to speak my piece and refuse payment for the tires slipped away with each passing second in his strong arms. I was right back to the lightheaded, weak kneed girl who had been standing with him in the kitchen toasting marshmallows.

  Our mouths parted long enough for me to open my eyes and speak a few whispery words. “Why the hell does something I want so badly have to come with so much future regret?”

  Rafe rubbed his thumb along my bottom lip. “So, skip the regret altogether.” His mouth covered mine as his hands slipped under my shirt. His fingers trailed over my back and shoulders.

  “The cameras,” I whispered. “What if they turn on?”

  He removed his hands from my shirt, and I felt the same painful disappointment I’d felt the night before when Leo had stopped us. But this time, Rafe seemed to have no intention of stopping. He took hold of my hand and led me down the hallway to the bedroom.

  “But isn’t there a camera in the bedroom?” I asked as the bedroom door opened.

  “There is, but I found a way to render it useless.” He pointed up to the camera that was mounted on brackets on the ceiling. An ink pen had been jammed in the side of the bracket, and the lens was pointed at the top corner of the room. “I took out the sound too. The studio takes the invasion of privacy thing to a whole new level.”

  He shut the door and gazed at me as if he wasn’t completely sure I was really standing there.

  “Rafe? Say something, please, before I lose my nerve or before my feet land back on the ground.”

  “You’re the last thing I expected, Eliot.” He closed the gap between us with two long strides.

  I jumped into his arms and we fumbled with each other’s clothes, parting from the kisses only long enough to pull off our shirts.

  It had been so long since I’d been naked in a man’s arms, I’d nearly forgotten the sheer pleasure of having my skin pressed against a man’s naked body. And I’d never in my life been naked with a man like Rafe. He was everything that could make a woman delirious with need. His impressive erection looked almost daunting to a girl who’d had a pretty nonexistent sex life lately.

  I allowed myself the pleasure of running my fingers along it as I gazed down to admire it.

  A breath caught in his chest as I wrapped my hand around it and rubbed my thumb over the slick, fleshy tip. He released the breath and took hold of my wrist. “With the way I’ve been thinking about you all day, El, you might just end this before it starts.”

  He lifted my hand and kissed my palm.

  His big hands wrapped around my naked bottom and he lifted me into his arms. I clung to him as he carried me to the bed. I scooted up against the pillows and he leaned down over me, positioning himself between my legs.

  “I’m sort of out of practice,” I said unnecessarily. “I mean, I think I remember how and all that but—”

  He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me. Then he smiled down at me. “You’ve already got the first part down.”

  “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

  He sat back and stared down at my naked body. “Being completely and utterly beautiful.” He reached up to my nipple and kneaded it between his thumb and finger. I bit my lip at the intense feeling. The sensations caused heat and moisture to surge in my pussy.

  The ends of his long hair tickled my skin as he leaned over and took the same tender nipple in his mouth. His hand reached down between our bodies, and his fingers slid between the hot, slick folds of my pussy. I arched my back and pushed harder against the invasion of his hand.

  Rafe knew
exactly what he was doing. And I’d so often dreamt of him touching me, my pussy tightened instantly, and I came against the skilled touch of his fingers.

  He rose up onto his arms wearing a satisfied grin. “See, you were made to be naked in my bed.” He leaned over to the nightstand and fished in the drawer, emerging with a foil packet. “They think of everything around here.”

  The sight of the condom dampened my spirits slightly because it reminded me Rafe was here for a whole other reason and that reason was definitely not me. I was the safe assistant, I thought wryly. And that moment of irony raised my spirits again.

  Rafe seemed to notice my shifting mood. “Eliot, if you don’t want this, we can get dressed.”

  “I want this. Unless, you’re having second thoughts.”

  Rafe settled himself between my legs again. “I’ve had second thoughts, all right. And third. And fourth. In fact, I’ve been thinking about this all fucking day.”

  He kissed me and his cock teased my pussy for a few delicious seconds before he pushed inside of me. I wrapped my legs around him, wanting even more of him.

  “Fuck, El, you are tight,” he groaned against my mouth as he thrust his cock in deeper.

  As his incredible arms tightened around me, and his hard body rocked against mine, I was suddenly overwhelmed by how right it felt to be in his arms. I’d never had the same sensation with any other man. It was as if I’d been waiting for just this moment, and just this man, to understand what it felt like to be in love.