A Year and a Day
He spotted Thomas and saw that Alicia had engaged his squire in conversation. Lynx was annoyed because there was no way to avoid her. As he approached, he noticed cynically that she wore a favorite sapphire-blue gown with the jewels he had once given her.
“Good evening, Lynx.” Her voice was soft; he knew she was about to ask for something.
“My lord, would you permit me to join you this evening?”
An outright “no” would be too surly, even in his dark mood. He considered fobbing her off with an excuse, but realized he couldn’t be bothered. “Why not?” he said carelessly, taking a seat below the dais and helping Alicia into the chair beside him.
When Thomas poured them wine, Alicia took up her goblet and drank deeply. “Lynx, I want to apologize to you.”
“For what?” he asked bluntly, wise to the soft, cajoling ways of women.
“I’ve been so angry with you. I’ve been completely ignoring you, punishing you for bringing me north. But the truth is, I was terribly spoiled and feeling utterly sorry for myself.”
As he looked at her he thought her so thin, she was almost haggard. Unwittingly, he was comparing her with Jane’s soft, lush figure.
“Now I realize I’ve not been punishing you, Lynx, I’ve been punishing myself. I sorely miss your company, my dearest lord, and beg you to let us still be friends?”
As Lynx watched and listened to her, he realized his desire for his old mistress was a thing of the past. And suddenly Lynx felt sorry for her. How lonely she must be. It was unfair to Alicia to keep her buried here in the borders. “I’m going to Edinburgh shortly—”
Before he could finish, she began begging him. “Oh, Lynx, please take me with you. I promise you won’t regret it!”
His shrewd eyes searched her face. “A woman like you isn’t suited to being buried in the country. You probably hate Dumfries. I can see you would be must happier in Edinburgh.” He put his hand over hers to soften the suggestion he was going to make. Here was his opportunity to get her out of Dumfries permanently. “In Edinburgh Castle, the spacious governor’s residence is very much like court. They are continually entertaining both English and Scots nobles who come to swear fealty. Why don’t I secure you chambers there, or buy you a little house of your own nearby?”
“What a wonderful idea! We can be together whenever you visit the city, which will be often I hope. Thank you so much, darling.”
Lynx removed his hand and picked up his knife. “Keeping you here is unfair to you.” It is also unfair to Jane! It suddenly occurred to him that perhaps Jane Leslie had refused to wed him because he kept a mistress at Dumfries. Alicia was not a permanent part of his life, but Jane did not know that.
When the meal was over, Lynx excused himself. He smiled down at Alicia, grateful that she was not going to cause difficulties. He could afford to be kind now that she realized they could be nothing more than friends. “I’ll let you know later when we’ll be leaving.”
Alicia smiled back. “Yes, later.”
Lynx talked over his proposed journey to Edinburgh with his knights, deciding who would accompany him and who would stay behind. Then he consulted with his steward and finally his squire.
Thomas rubbed his nose. “I’m not sure ye should leave Taffy to look after Lady Jane, my lord. He doesn’t know how to be firm with a lady and lay down the law, at least not with that particular lady.”
“And why is that?” Lynx asked with a frown.
Thomas chuckled. “Because the lad is in love with her.”
His frown deepened. Thomas might find that amusing, but Lynx did not. “Then the job is yours,” he told Thomas. “She’s confined to the castle for her own good.” The thought of being left behind soon wiped the amusement from Thomas’s face.
De Warenne retired to his chamber to pen a note to Robert Bruce. While he was away in Edinburgh, he would feel better if the Bruce kept a weather eye on Dumfries. Lynx sanded the letter and pressed his ring into the wax seal. As he began to unfasten his doublet, a low knock came on the outer door. Assuming it was Thomas, he bade him enter. “I have a note for …” His words trailed away as Alicia appeared in the archway. God grant me patience! “Alicia, why are you here?” “You invited me.”
“Invited you?” His voice rose with incredulity, carrying to the chamber below.
“Oh, not in words … you invited me with your eyes.”
He stared at her in disbelief as she began to remove her bedgown.
Below, Jane heard the sound of a woman’s voice, though she could not make out the words she spoke. Extremely curious, she climbed the steps that led up to Lord de Warenne’s chambers and listened at the door.
“Tonight, I could see that you wanted me as much as I wanted you. The way you looked at me, undressing me with those passionate green eyes. That’s why I wore your favorite gown and the sapphires you gave me.”
A wave of guilt swept over Lynx as he realized his desire for this woman was long dead. It was all in her imagination. How could he get rid of her without destroying her vanity? The moment he rejected her, she would start a screaming match. “Alicia,” he began, firmly closing her bedgown, “I want you to go back to your own chamber. We’ve been together long enough for you to know I like to be the aggressor. When I want you, I will come to your bed.”
“I understand, darling; walls have ears.”
He walked her across the room with a firm hand at her back and opened the door, determined to be rid of her.
Below, Jane sat on the stairs, staring blindly into the darkness. Don’t you dare to cry! she told herself. It doesn’t matter to me that she wore his favorite gown or that he bought her jewels, she told herself fiercely. Instead of tears, she felt anger rise up inside her until she was ready to explode. He’s taking her to Edinburgh! she thought furiously. You care more for your mistress than you care for me. Damn you to hellfire, Lynx de Warenne!
Jane crept down the stairs quietly. With shaking hands she lit a candle, and her eyes fell on the flagons of wine. With trembling fingers she reached for a cup.
Buoyed with confidence, Alicia lit the candles in her chamber and turned down the covers on the bed. She knew that Lynx hated it whenever she sought him out in his own chamber and she hadn’t been foolish enough to do it often. But tonight she just hadn’t been able to help herself. He had not come to her in so long, she feared that he was tiring of her.
Alicia poured a cup of wine and assured herself that she had done the right thing. Now that she had let him know how she felt, he would come to her bed again. The minutes ticked by and stretched into an hour. Her confidence began to slip.
She poured herself another cup of wine and began to pace the chamber. Why was he not eager for her company? It was because of the little slut he had handfasted. Because he had planted his seed in her belly, she was becoming the most important thing in his life. The penny royal Alicia had put in the wine could not work if the stupid girl did not drink the wine!
After another hour dragged by, Alicia realized Lynx de Warenne was not coming. Why would any man turn down a sexual overture? It made no sense to her. She had swallowed her pride and gone to him and this humiliation was her reward! She rushed to the mirror to examine her appearance. She opened her bedgown to reassure herself that she was still as slim and attractive as ever. Her own belly was concave, not swollen and distended like Jane Leslie’s. Then it fully dawned on her that it wasn’t the girl who was her rival, it was the child!
But everything would be all right. Lynx was taking her to Edinburgh. Alicia clung to that thought like a drowning woman clutching at a straw. Then suddenly, she could deny the truth no longer. He was taking her to Edinburgh in order to get rid of her. That was the reason why the couple had been fighting this morning! Jane Leslie had demanded that Lynx get his mistress out of Dumfries!
Alicia flung the cup at the mirror, denting its polished surface. It was time to change her plan. Planting seeds of suspicion might be just as effective as actually aborting
the child. She had held off too long. She who hesitates is lost!
20
Jane did not go to bed. She sat in a chair before the embers of the fire, a cup of wine at her elbow, as she struggled with her unhappiness. Should she just swallow her pride and make the best of the humiliating situation? Should she confront Lord de Warenne and tell him how she felt? Should she go to Alicia and scratch out her eyes?
Jory de Warenne said men didn’t want a woman to be meek, but preferred one who was willful. So, since he had confined her to the castle, Jane decided to rebel against his authority by going home. She knew her father stayed at the castle most nights, so she would have to face only Megotta. Jane did not pack her belongings, she would take nothing he had given her. And deep inside, she hoped he would come for her and make everything right between them.
It was not yet daylight when Jane slipped from the castle and made her way to her old home. When she arrived, the candles were burning and she was surprised to see Sim and Ben sitting by the hearth, deep in conversation with Megotta. Jane hadn’t even known they had returned from the upland grazing. The autumn weather had held so well they had stayed a month later than usual.
When she entered the room, all three abruptly stopped talking as if they had been caught at planning a crime. The air was permeated with guilt and secrecy, and Jane immediately forgot her own problem, sensing there was more far-reaching trouble here. Her grandmother swung about and spoke to someone Jane could not see.
“Did you tell Jane?” Megotta demanded.
Keith stepped from the shadows. “No, I did not.”
Jane ran to Keith. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“She has the second sight, just like Keith. ’Tis impossible to keep things from her,” Megotta whispered.
“When we were in the Uplands we learned about a new leader who is recruiting Scottish rebels. Men from every station in life are flocking to join him. Second and third sons who have naught to lose are gathering an army to fight the English oppressors. His name is William Wallace; his goal is freedom. Countless numbers are secretly supporting him, unwilling to live in slavery,” Ben explained.
“He is a Celt, like us. We’ve seen him, listened to him. He is restoring Scots pride that the English tried to crush out of us. Half the shepherds in the borders have pledged to Wallace,” Sim added.
Jane stared at her brothers, aghast. “My God, you have already committed yourselves. That’s what has kept you away until November, you have secretly pledged to this cause!”
“We are Celts,” Ben declared. “You are dead men if de Warenne learns of this,” Keith warned.
“No one outside this room must learn of this,” Jane insisted frantically. “At all costs keep it from Father. If you persist in this, you will be signing death warrants for all of us!”
“Are ye so blind, ye don’t know why de Warenne is here in Dumfries?” Keith demanded. “He is here to stamp out any spark of rebellion. His uncle is Governor of Scotland, for Christ’s sake. Even the Bruce stands with the English. They have spies everywhere.”
Sim and Ben exchanged fearful glances. All they had actually done was let the rebels have a few of their sheep, but that was enough to get them hanged.
When their sister Kate arrived, they were all eating breakfast. “I heard you were home,” she said, addressing Sim and Ben. “I just came to say hello.” Kate’s eyes widened when she saw Jane sitting at the table. “What are you doing here?”
Jane tossed her head. Kate was interested only in female gossip and Jane fervently hoped to keep it that way. “You know Lord de Warenne and I had a quarrel. I decided to move back home.”
When Kate left, Jane warned them all. “She cannot be trusted. She is thick as thieves with de Warenne’s mistress.” Jane tried to ignore her brothers’ pitying looks.
“Yer father never should have sold ye to him!” Megotta spat.
“You know I had no choice but to agree to the hand-fasting.” Jane wished she had not come home, wished she had not learned of Ben and Sim’s reckless behavior. Now her loyalties were hopelessly divided, and she felt as if she were being torn in half.
* * *
“My sister Jane has run home to our grandmother,” Kate told Alicia. “She has defied Lord de Warenne’s orders!”
“I have little interest in your sister. Lord de Warenne is taking me to Edinburgh. Go and get me a breakfast tray, then you can help me pack.” Alicia couldn’t believe that Fate was smiling upon her by giving her this timely opportunity.
The moment Kate departed, Alicia took her supply of pennyroyal from the cupboard where she kept it concealed and made her way to the Master Tower. She slipped into Jane’s room and laid the herbs down next to the wine. It took less than a minute. Now all she had to do was tell Lynx what the girl was up to. The foolish slut had played right into her hands.
As Lynx was leaving the hall with his sister, Jory, he encountered Alicia. It looked as if she had been waiting for him and he schooled his face to reflect a patience he did not feel.
“My lord, I must have a word with you in private.”
“Alicia, what is it?” He saw her glance at Marjory.
“I am certain you want no other ears to hear what I must tell you.”
Lynx was just about at the end of his rope with this woman, but knowing he wouldn’t have to put up with her for much longer, he took her into the small chamber off the hall.
“Jane Leslie is trying to abort your child.”
Lynx grabbed her by the shoulders. “You lying bitch!”
“’Tis true!” she cried. “Her sister found the stuff in her chamber. She’s been dosing herself with pennyroyal, but it hasn’t worked, so she’s gone to her grandmother to get the job done properly. The old witch, Megotta, performs all the abortions at Dumfries! Ask anyone!”
Lynx flung Alicia aside and strode to the stairs of the Master Tower, then took the steps two at a time. He had confined Jane to the castle; she would not dare leave. But all the while a voice inside himself whispered that Jane would indeed defy him. Defy him, yes, but surely she would never destroy her child!
When Lynx found her chambers empty, he told himself she could be elsewhere in the castle. He threw open her wardrobe and felt better when he saw her clothes were still there. But when his eyes fell on the pennyroyal and Jane’s herb knife, he felt immeasurably worse. He picked up the cup of wine and sniffed it. His gut twisted sickeningly and he recognized the sensation as fear. Lynx de Warenne began to run.
Jane jumped to her feet in great alarm as the front door was flung open and Lord de Warenne swept in like the angel of death. Jane almost swooned with fear for her brothers. How had he learned of their dealings with William Wallace so quickly? He knocked a cup of milk from her hand, shouting, “Don’t dare drink that filthy stuff!”
Jane sank to a stool on shaky legs as she realized with relief that his anger was not directed at her brothers, but at her. She watched him point an imperious finger at Megotta. “Old woman, if you have done aught to destroy my child, prepare to die!”
“Lord de Warenne, what are you saying? What is it you think we have done?” Jane cried.
“You are aborting the baby!”
“No, no, on my honor, I swear that I am not!”
“Women have no honor,” he thundered.
Jane stepped close and took hold of his forearms. The moment she touched him, she felt his fear, experienced his agony, knew the anger that engulfed him. She dug her nails into his flesh to get his attention. “Lynx, I swear to you on my soul, I have not done this thing.” She grabbed his hand and drew it to her belly. “Feel, feel! The baby lives … the baby thrives.”
Some of the madness left his green eyes as he focused on the child that kicked inside her belly. Jane reached up and touched her fingers to his cheek. “My lord, I know how much you love this child. Please understand that I love it too, with all my heart and all my soul.”
“Then why did you come here?” he demanded.
r /> “I wanted to defy your orders! I heard your mistress in your chamber last night and I was furious with you! Who accuses me of this deed?”
“Alicia, and your sister Kate. I have seen with my own eyes the abortificiant herbs you gathered.”
“I will go with you now and face my accusers.”
Jane walked beside him in silence back to the castle. Her face was pale, her hands trembled, but her step was resolute. Jane climbed the stairs of the Master Tower slowly, the child now grown so much, her steps were slightly clumsy.
Her eyes fell on the pennyroyal immediately, then lifted until they looked directly into Lynx’s eyes. “I swear to you I did not gather this herb.”
“The wine too is laced with the filthy stuff.”
“Kate brought me the wine … praise God I did not drink it,” she murmured. Again she looked into his eyes. “You will have to decide who you believe.”
Jory came in through the open door. “You both look so awful, what trouble is Alicia brewing between you?”
The lump in Jane’s throat almost choked her. “She told my lord I was trying to abort his baby.”
“My God, she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Lynx, I have something to tell you, something I should have told you long ago.”
Marjory led Jane to a chair. “Sit down before you fall down,” she said softly, then beckoned her brother into the adjoining chamber.
“When Alicia and I were at Wigton, I found her hemorrhaging from a self-induced abortion. I was frightened to death for her, but she assured me she would be all right, because she’d done it before. She begged me not to betray her secret to you and I foolishly gave her my word.”
“Damn you, Jory, why did you not tell me?”
“Because at the time I pitied Alicia and feared how angry you would become if you knew the truth! But her lies about Jane free me from my promise of silence.”