CRASH

  He blushed. “Like doing it with a married man?”

  “You don’t need me to tell you that were wrong; especially with a man on the down-low, for god sakes!”

  Lucas sighed. “Well if it would make his wife feel any better, karma has already kicked my ass.”

  “Oh, Sweetie,” she said sympathetically. Then she frowned. “Well what about me? Was I in the path of your bad Karma?”

  He cracked a smile despite himself. “I don’t think karma jumps from one person to the next like fleas on a dog.”

  She gave him a serious look. She didn’t think Lucas was bisexual. She thought Lucas was lonely and confused.

  After about a week in bed, one day Lucas stood in the doorway of her bedroom with a huge smile. Sophie was still groggy from her nap and she stared at him.

  “You look insane.”

  He shook his head, still smiling. “Get up. I want to show you something.”

  “Okay,” she took a moment to stretch and to yawn. She could get out of bed easily now though she still sometimes experienced unexpected and severe pain, so although mostly healed, she decided to take his advice and to stay in bed as much as possible.

  He got her robe and draped it over her shoulders even though she was wearing pajama bottoms and a gown. He offered her his arm and led her through the house.

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  He grinned so happily that he looked like a kid on Christmas morning. It was infectious and she started grinning as well. He opened the back door and she frowned. She was not about to go outside looking like this.

  Lucas pushed the door open and Sophie froze. She squinted and stared outside. Usually she could see the ugly alleyway and the back of the shops. But now what she saw was a big privacy fence.

  “Jesus, Luke…” She didn’t even realize that she’d shortened his name. She stepped away from him in awe and pushed open the screen door. She gasped. The yard was beautifully landscaped. There were stepping stone pavers and a small pond with real river rocks bubbling in one corner. There were plant beds; some containing fully grown flowers, others appeared to be buds just now sprouting to life. There was even a little fruit tree!

  He helped her down the stairs and she touched the pretty blooms, oohing and ahhing as she walked the circumference of the yard, taking in every single object. Lucas happily pointed out everything he’d done.

  He had taken her table and chairs from the shed and set up the umbrella. Tiki torches dotted the yard and he’d found two whimsical sculptures to hang on the wall, one was of a metal cat, the other was the sun and the moon.

  “How did you do this?! When did you do this?!”

  He chuckled at her total shock. “Mostly while you slept and sometimes in the middle of the night. Do you like it?”

  “Like…I LOVE IT!” She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. Lucas held her tightly. When she pulled back she searched his eyes. “But how did you pay for it? How did you afford this?”

  He led her to the Adirondack chairs. He’d bought cushions and she settled in one comfortably. “Remember that…that day you told me to go out and do my own thing.” Her face grew serious at the memory of that, it was almost two weeks ago but it felt longer.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well…this is what I wanted to do. You said I could do whatever I wanted and this is what I wanted.”

  “But-”

  “It didn’t cost that much. The fence was probably seventy bucks and I got all of the plants for about a hundred and I got those wall hangings in a thrift shop. I didn’t pay more than twenty bucks each for all of the tiki torches.” He jumped up and pulled out an old boom box with detachable speakers. He pressed play on the cd player and an old Sade tune began playing. It sounded as if she was at an outdoor Sade concert!

  “I forgot about this. I found this at a pawn shop.”

  “I’m going to pay you back every cent.” Sophie looked around in total pleasure.

  He sat back down. “Mhm. I figured you’d say that. It’s still my gift to you.” He reached out and took her hand. “I just wanted you to know how much I appreciated you.”

  She swallowed and squeezed his hand and they stayed that way longer than they needed to.

  Chapter 10

  Sophie had just gotten out of the tub. It had been nearly three weeks since she’d fallen and even though she sometimes ached unexpectedly and she had to move a bit slower, she felt good. She was going to wear a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. It was hot and she and Lucas were going to hang out in the back yard. He’d already started smoking a rib for dinner and the aroma of slow cooked pork made her mouth water in anticipation.

  She heard him in the office talking to Candace. She hadn’t had to talk to her since before her accident and didn’t want to right now. With a sense of guilt, she thought about her book. She had to get back into the groove of writing.

  She could hear Lucas pacing as he talked. She opened her bedroom door so that she could hear what he was saying.

  “Well she can’t come to the phone because her jaw is still wired shut. They said it’d be four weeks so…Yeah. Well you can communicate with her by email like last time. Yes, Candace. I’ll be sure to tell her. She’ll be waiting for you email. Okay, bye.”

  Email. Wow, he was good. She smirked, that was actually ingenious about her jaw being wired shut. She wondered if she could milk that a bit longer. But she did need to know about Candace’s feedback so that she could make the updates. It was time for her to stop slacking off and to get back to work.

  Sophie went into the office just as Lucas was hanging up the phone. He froze when he saw her; she saw his eyes move across her form. This was the first time she’d worn shorts this year. She was too fat for them. She should change…

  “What did Candace want?”

  “To talk to you.”

  “I figured that.” She studied him. “Lucas, what did she have to say about my submission?”

  He suddenly seemed to avoid looking at her. “She…thought there should be some changes.”

  Sophie’s lips twisted. “Such as?”

  “I’ll grab the laptop and we can pull up the email while we’re sitting outside, if you want.”

  “Hmph.” She grumbled and headed outside, grabbing two bottles of iced tea. By the time she got settled, Lucas had come out with the laptop and an extension cord. He got settled in the Adirondack chair next to hers and navigated to her email. It was a good thing that she trusted the kid, because he had access to almost every one of her accounts except her for her checking and savings.

  He glanced at her before opening the email, clearing his throat. She thought he looked nervous. His eyes were too wide and his face was flushed. Damnit, this wasn’t going to be pretty.

  “She wanted to make some adjustments-”

  “Let me read it.” She said, taking the laptop to her own lap.

  She read quietly and then her eyes narrowed.

  As I said, Sophie, this isn’t bad—far from it. But I’m not sure why this is the POV of a white male? I thought we were on the same page that our demographic was definitely twenty-something black females. White men don’t read this.

  Her face was hot. She looked at Lucas. “White men don’t read this? Did she just say…Bullshit! Do you know how many white men email me, or blog me asking to be my slave, showing pictures of their dicks, wanting to know if the sex scenes were ones I actually engage in?!”

  Lucas’ brow went up. Yes, he did know how many white men sent Sophie messages. But he didn’t think she wanted an answer. After a moment she returned to the email.

  I also think that name Sara doesn’t give the right ‘feel’. How about selecting a more ethnic name? While I love the flip you gave to the story by having Eric doubt himself, but don’t you believe that you give him too much power? What if Sara (or whatever her new name will be) shows interest in a man; Ned for instance? And so that it doesn’t seem as if you are pitting black man
and white man against each other, you should change Ned into a Hispanic. We have a strong Hispanic following-

  “Well for fucks sake!” Sophie leaped to her feet while thrusting the laptop into Lucas’ hands. She had barely stopped herself from flinging the device across the yard. Her dark eyes were smoldering. “This is some bullshit!”

  Lucas was not used to seeing her upset like this. He put the laptop down into the chair and came to his feet. His put his hands firmly on her upper arms.

  “Sophie, I know this is irritating-”

  She spun around and went back into the house. He followed and watched her pace back and forth a few times. She turned to look at him.

  “Is this how it’s always going to be for me?” He saw her lips quiver even while her eyes smoldered in anger. “What’s the point of writing?” Her voice cracked but her eyes didn’t glisten, they just darkened.

  He shook his head. “Don’t say that-”

  “No. Why should I write?!” She spotted the crystal vase filled with expensive flowers that Candace had sent days before. She stormed over to it and opened the front door, flinging the pretty arrangement down the walkway where it shattered into a million beautiful shards. She slammed the door shut. Wanting to curse, wanting to rage, Sophie didn’t know how to release her frustration so she just sank into the armchair.

  “I hate this.” She was trembling, her body hitching. “I quit…I just can’t fucking do this anymore.”

  “Sophie…” Lucas walked to the chair and knelt next her. He took her un-casted hand in his. “I…I took care of it.”

  After a moment she replayed his words and looked at him. She rubbed her dry eyes. “What? What do you mean?”

  “I made the changes she wanted.” He looked at her closely. “I sent them back a few days ago.” He frowned. “That’s what she was calling about; to tell you that she liked the changes.”

  Sophie was at a loss for words. “You…re-wrote my story?” Her eyes got huge.

  “No! I just made the changes. I had to!” He appealed to her with big blue eyes. “You couldn’t, you were sick. And she kept calling and asking for them and…I just did the best I could...”

  Her eyes fluttered close. “I don’t blame you, I blame her. What in the hell was she thinking, making these types of demands when I was laid up in bed hurt?” Her face twisted into a grimace of loathing. “I-I really hate that woman. I want to destroy her-”

  “Sophie, don’t say that.” He pressed his face against her cheek and since his shoulder was so close, Sophie laid her head there and closed her eyes. When she breathed in, she smelled herself in Lucas; so familiar and comforting. He used her shampoo and her soap so of course he would smell like her now.

  She felt him bury his nose into her neck and shoulder and sigh. He was breathing her in too.

  “I’m sorry that I acted like a baby,” she murmured. Now that her rage was subsiding she felt ashamed of her actions. What kind of example was she setting for Lucas acting like that?

  She felt his head move slightly and his lips began to travel smoothly up her neck. Her body jolted and broke into a trillion little goose bumps. Her nipples hardened so rapidly that they ached and her hands squeezed themselves into fists while her breath caught in her chest.

  Lucas’ lips settled on the hollow beneath her ear and he placed a light kiss there.

  Sophie jerked in response. He was just…being comforting. She tried to turn this into something that she could handle, Lucas’ affection, his care was nothing more than an innocent desire to comfort her.

  Then he whispered. “I’m in love with you.” And the words rumbled deep despite the little boy’s face that she couldn’t see but which she knew issued those elusive words.

  Oh no…

  “Lucas-”

  Then his little boy lips covered hers and they didn’t feel like little boy lips. She pressed back against the cushions at the same time that her lips parted to receive his gentle, insistent kiss. Her breath was so erratic that she couldn’t really consider herself breathing. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, and oxygen was keeping her conscious but she didn’t know how.

  His hands moved up her upper arms firmly as his kisses deepened, she felt the tease of his tongue and her body clenched down low.

  “No!” She pushed him back and he fell on his butt, blinking at her in confusion. She leaped to her feet and covered her eyes. Oh my god…

  “Sophie?”

  She hurried out of the room but felt Lucas’ hands on her arms again, stopping her. He gently turned her around but she wouldn’t look at him. She was so ashamed of herself. This boy was in her care and she should have never kissed him like that. What kind of monster was she that she would take advantage of a person like Lucas?

  She felt him gently lift her head to look at him and she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. She turned her head away.

  “Sophie, don’t. Please don’t turn away from me.”

  She took a deep breath and toughened her resolve. She looked at him. “That was a mistake-” He was shaking his head. “-that should have never happened-”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m supposed to be caring for you, not…”

  His brow creased. “Sophie, I’m not a child. I’m a man. I’m an adult.”

  “You’re also twenty years younger than me! Twenty years, Lucas.”

  “I don’t care. I love you-”

  She pulled out of his arms. “Stop saying that!” She stormed to her office. Her freaking wrist was throbbing, along with her head. What had she done? Lucas followed close on her heels.

  “I can’t help that I look like this. Christ, I’m going to always look like this!”

  He shouldn’t say things like that. He was beautiful. He was…beautiful. “You’re going to meet an awesome young girl—your own age, and you’re going to fall in love-”

  He stood in the doorway watching her with stormy eyes that had turned violet. “I did meet a girl. And I am in love with her.”

  Those words caused her heartbeat to speed up but she squinted at him from across the room. “Yeah, well…that sometimes happens when you’re getting help from someone. You feel like you owe them, the feelings become confusing.”

  He rolled his eyes and hid an angry snicker. “You really do think that you’re talking to a sixteen year old, don’t you?” He stepped into the room and she looked like she was about to panic but she had to stand her ground.

  “I take care of you, more than you take care of me,” he said adamantly.

  She resisted the urge to look around for an alternate escape as he slowly closed in on her.

  “AND I’m not confused. I’ve lived with you. I know why I’m in love with you-”

  Her eyes closed. “Stop saying that.”

  “What?” She felt his hands on her arms again. His voice was now soft, even though it was so deep that hearing it alone was enough to cause her gut to wrench. “That I love you? That I’m in love with you? That I want you?” He pulled her body to him and she had no choice but to follow; he was wiry, but he was strong and he towered over her in a way that she had never really noticed.