Fighting for Everything

  I don’t want to have a good time, Noah. I just want you.

  Just thinking about the fact that she’d sent him those words still made her stomach flip.

  But he hadn’t responded. Once again, he was avoiding her.

  “Okay,” Ethan said, pulling pints and half gallons out of his freezer. “I have rocky road, pistachio, cherry, and chocolate chip cookie dough. Pick your poison.”

  Kristina looked from Ethan’s cute, playful expression to the cartons laid out on the counter. She didn’t like marshmallow so rocky road was out. Pistachio was just gross—whoever thought of that anyway? And cherry wasn’t one of her favorites. Which left… No. No way was she eating cookie dough ice cream. Like she wasn’t having enough difficulties blocking Noah Cortez from her mind.

  “I’ll take cherry,” she said.

  He scooped it out and nudged the bowl her way, and then he scooped himself…cookie dough. Kristina could’ve banged her head against a cabinet.

  As Ethan put everything away again, Kristina watched him work. He’d changed into a pair of jeans and a worn black band T-shirt, and his feet were bare. His hair, his tats, his smile, everything about him—Ethan Black was as sexy as they came.

  She should be wanting to jump him…

  “Wanna eat out on the couch?” Ethan asked.

  “Yep.” Kristina returned to where she’d sat during the movie, which was almost over now.

  Ethan sat closer this time, his thigh almost touching hers. It made Kristina’s stomach do a loop-the-loop, but not because it excited her. She suddenly found that she was nervous, despite how easy-going and friendly Ethan was.

  They chatted about the end of the movie as they ate, and then Ethan grabbed the remote. “Want to watch something else?” he asked.

  Kristina shrugged and gave him a small smile. “No, that’s okay.”

  Ethan turned off the TV. When they finished their ice cream, he placed their bowls on the coffee table, and then he shifted so that he was sitting facing her. “I had a good time tonight, beer shower aside,” he said, giving her a playful, flirty smile.

  “I did, too. I don’t think I know anyone with as many good stories as you have,” she said, and she meant it.

  He chuckled. “Bartending may not provide many benefits, but good stories and good people watching are definitely among them.”

  “Yeah,” she said, giving a small laugh.

  Ethan gently brushed her hair back off the side of her face and tucked it behind her ear. Kristina’s heart tripped into a sprint, because Ethan was looking at her like he was interested. Like he wanted her. “Can I kiss you, Kristina?” he asked in a low voice.

  She froze for a long moment, her mind a whirlwind of contradictory thoughts and unending debates and competing desires. And a whirl of Noah. Always of Noah. Who maybe wanted to push her away. Yet, here was Ethan. Light, easy, open Ethan. Who maybe wanted to hold her tight.

  Kristina wanted to want Ethan, but didn’t. She wanted nothing more than…to be friends with him. Because he wasn’t Noah.

  “I don’t think I should,” she finally said, feeling horrible. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Ethan’s feelings.

  “Not happening for you, huh?” he asked.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, meeting his eyes.

  He shook his head. “I’m the sorry one,” he said. “Because some guy sure is going to be lucky to have you.”

  The comment had her ducking her chin.

  “Is it Noah?” he asked.

  Her eyes went wide. “How…why…?”

  “Well, that kinda just confirmed it,” Ethan said, giving her a playful wink. “But I suspected that at least he felt more than friendly about you after talking to him today. Because I was left with the distinct impression that he wasn’t happy I was taking you out.”

  “Oh.” She wasn’t sure what to make of that. “I really am sorry, though. Things are actually very strained between Noah and me right now, and I genuinely wanted this to work because you’re pretty awesome.”

  He grinned and propped his head against his hand. “I am way more than pretty awesome.”

  Kristina chuckled. “You’re right. You’re the most awesomest ever.”

  “Well, now my ego feels a little better.” Another playful wink. “Should I walk you out?” he asked.

  “Sure,” she said. She gathered her purse, and Ethan walked her to the door. Out on the open landing, she realized that it had started raining. Hard. “You don’t have to walk me down to the lot,” she said. “It’s pouring and my car is right there.”

  “I really don’t mind,” he said.

  She shook her head. “That’s because you’re the awesomest ever. But it’s okay.”

  “Most awesomest,” he said, grinning.

  She rolled her eyes, but laughed. “Right. Thanks for everything, Ethan.” She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, and then turned away. As she started down the stairs, she heard the click of Ethan’s door closing behind her. She rushed past Noah’s floor, but then remembered that his car hadn’t been here when she arrived. She hoped that meant he still wasn’t here, because the last thing she wanted was a run-in with him when she was feeling quite so raw.

  And she was. Because it was a helluva thing to realize how much in love you were with someone who probably didn’t love you back. And even worse when that person was your lifelong best friend whose friendship might now be at risk.

  When she got to the bottom floor, she stood just underneath the roof for a long moment, staring out into the dark downpour. She was going to have to make a run for it. One look at the deep puddles forming on the sidewalk and in the parking lot had her slipping off her high-heeled sandals and carrying them instead. And then she took off like a shot.

  The cold temperature of the rain got a few choice curses out of her. She was immediately soaked through to the skin, her sexy turquoise dress with its deep V-neck, fluttery sleeves, and snug skirt that ran to mid-thigh instantly sodden. She hopped off the curb next to her car and into an ankle-deep puddle that made her shriek. When she lifted her keys to the door lock, her fingers were so wet that she dropped them.

  “Shit,” she said, fishing them out of the puddle. She stood up, and nearly screamed.

  Noah was standing there, right next to the hood of her car. “I was calling you.”

  She heaved a deep breath that failed to calm. “Why?” she yelled back.

  He waved her closer, and she wondered if the sharp lines on his face were just the result of shadows thrown by the rain and the darkness. Finally, she moved closer. “Come up,” he said, gesturing to the building.

  She shook her head. “It’s late.”

  “Come up,” he said more insistently. He stepped off the curb into the puddle, closing the distance between them. His whole face was set into a frown. It wasn’t just the shadows.

  “Noah—”

  “Just come,” he said.

  Was it possible he wanted to talk about what she’d texted him? The thought made her belly flip, and she found herself agreeing despite her concerns. “Fine.” She pushed around him, still carrying her shoes. Neither of them talking, Noah followed her up the steps to his door. He’d apparently left it unlocked, because he turned the knob and pushed it open, gesturing for her to go first. They were both dripping water all over the little square of slate tiles inside the door, which was exactly where she stayed lest she drag a trail of water all over his hardwoods.

  Noah shut the door and turned on her, hands braced on his hips. Tension rolled off him, and Kristina was suddenly, totally, and completely sure coming up here had been a mistake.

  “What?” she finally asked.

  The ticking of the muscle on the side of his jaw wasn’t the only sign that he was wound tight. His shoulders were bunched. His brows slashed down. His eyes were on fire with anger and desire—or maybe she was only imagining the latter.

  Kristina hugged herself against the chill of the air conditioning. “What, Noah?”
>
  He raked a hand through his wet hair and chuffed out a laugh that held no humor.

  “For God’s sake. Say something.”

  His gazed slashed to her face. “Did you screw him?”

  She gasped. “What?”

  “Just answer the question,” he said, his voice going stern. “Did you screw him?”

  White hot anger ripped through her. “I don’t believe you,” she said. How could he ask her that after the text she’d sent? After they’d just slept together a few days ago?

  He stepped right up in front of her. Even in his anger, he was freaking gorgeous. Just then, she hated him for that. “Answer the question, Kristina. It’s a simple yes or no.”

  She threw out her hands and lost her temper. “What if I did? Why would you freaking care?”

  Pressing his mouth into a grim line, Noah glared at her, his agitation nearly a physical presence between them.

  Kristina blew out a long breath and shook her head. “You know what? I’m not doing this again.” She turned for the door.

  Noah slammed his palm down flat against it, blocking her from opening it. His front was right up against her back, close enough to feel his rock-hard erection.

  Her blood flashed hot despite the fight. “Move, Cortez. Now.”

  “I can’t, Kristina,” he rasped in a tone so shattered that it suddenly put out the fire of her anger.

  She turned inside the tight cage of his arm and his body, her heart a freight train in her chest.

  He crouched down enough to look her eye to eye. “I. Can’t.”

  “Stop fighting,” she whispered, licking at rain drops rolling over her lips.

  Burning brown eyes tracked the movement. He stared at her until she was trembling, or maybe that was just the chill from how wet she was.

  But finally it was way too much to take for another second, and yet not nearly enough. “Noah,” she whispered.

  “Fuck,” he said, dropping his forehead against hers.

  The contact made Kristina go tense, because she didn’t know whether to pull away or push for more. So she stood there, frozen and on edge and wanting a man possibly more than she’d ever wanted anything in her life.

  No matter how damaged he was. And, oh, he was. She knew he was.

  He braced his other hand against the door, fully boxing her in now, and dropped his head a little farther. The movement felt like he was nuzzling her, and it lured a soft whimper from her throat.

  He groaned in answer, his nose rubbing along hers, his breath ghosting over her lips. “Tell me to stop,” he rasped.

  Kristina shivered, her body, mind, and heart in a three-way battle that didn’t seem like it would end any time soon. That left only instinct, which told her to stop fighting against everything she so badly wanted. Stop fighting this desire.

  “No,” she said.

  The word hung there for a long moment, and then Noah was on her. Mouth devouring her mouth. Hands dragging over her, as if he wanted to touch every part of her at once. Body pinning hers flush against the door, his cock grinding against her belly.

  Noah tasted like sweet, sweet sin and felt even better, all hard and aggressive against her. And the sheer raw pleasure of it made it impossible to do anything but surrender.

  He pulled down her V-neck and bra cups, freeing her breasts to his hands, his lips. His heat was all-consuming, such a stark contrast to the chill of her skin. She clutched at his wet hair as he worked his tongue and fingers over her until she was panting and moaning and shifting, but she couldn’t escape. And didn’t want to even if she could.

  As he sucked and tongued at her nipples, his hands tugged up the snug skirt to her dress, leaving it to pool around her waist. He dragged her panties down to her knees, and they fell to the floor. Noah kicked her feet apart and raked his hands up the insides of her thighs. The feeling was so intense, she went up onto her toes on a whimper. He slanted his mouth over hers and cupped her between her legs. She moaned into the kiss, from the contact, from his heat, from the frantic intensity pinging between them.

  His middle finger penetrated her, slow at first, and then faster. He’d pull all the way out, spread her wetness around, and sink deep again. On each penetration, he ground the heel of his hand against her clit until Kristina thrust her hips forward, chasing what she could already tell was going to be an explosive orgasm, despite the fact that he’d barely touched her.

  “That’s it, baby,” he said around the edge of a kiss, his finger slicking in and out of her, his palm grinding so deliciously right where she needed him. And, gah!, there was that term of endearment again. “I want you to come.”

  “Yes,” she whispered, clutching harder at his shoulders.

  His hand moved faster, and faster still, battering her clit and shoving her quickly to the edge. “Say my name, Kristina. Say my name when you fucking come.”

  “Oh, God, Noah,” she rasped, her whole body going tight. She hung on the edge, her muscles straining, and then Noah withdrew his fingers from inside her and flicked them hard and fast over her clit. Kristina screamed his name and her knees nearly buckled.

  Noah caught her easily as the pulsing waves washed over her. He fumbled at his jeans for a moment, and then he was lifting her against the door, spreading her legs around his hips, and sliding his cock deep. “Fuck, yes,” he growled, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

  Kristina moaned, her body still sensitive from the orgasm. She clutched her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips and rode out the storm of him. He fucked her like he was possessed by need and chased by demons, hard and driving and relentless. The door rattled and banged in the jamb, and Kristina absently thought that someone passing by outside might hear. But she had no capacity to care about anything but the beautiful, damaged man between her thighs.

  “Oh, Noah,” she cried, pressing kisses against his cheek, his neck, the slope of his shoulder. “Oh, Noah.”

  His hips flew, hammering against hers and winding her body up again. With his hands under her knees, he spread her wider, his body curled around her, his hips occasionally rotating in the most delicious, maddening circles.

  The build-up to her second orgasm had her holding her breath, and then she came so hard she couldn’t speak and saw stars. All she could do was clutch tight to him and ride it out, even as her heart ripped wide open and twenty years of history, affection, and love came rushing forth.

  She bit back the words—barely. But only because she wanted to look into his eyes as she said them for the very first time. “Oh, God, Noah. You’re so good,” she rasped, finding her voice again.

  On a groan, he withdrew from her and lowered her feet to the ground. Rough, hurried hands spun her, pushing her chest against the body-warmed door and tilting her hips out enough to force her back to arch. And then Noah was pushing back into her, filling her, burying himself deep. His fullness felt so good, so essential, so much a part of herself that she felt the rightness of it into her very soul.

  Her Noah.

  His hands curled tightly around her shoulders and his forehead fell against the back of her head as his hips pistoned against her. He held her so tight she was nearly immobile in his embrace, and it felt to her like he couldn’t get close enough, or deep enough. And she felt that, too.

  “Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he said, his lips beside her ear.

  She moaned and licked her lips. “Yes, Noah. I want to feel you inside me.”

  “Jesus,” he rasped, his hips smacking against her rear on punctuated thrusts.

  “Yes, yes, give me everything,” she cried, her hands pressing against the door.

  Noah shouted as his orgasm hit him. “Oh, Kristina. Oh, fuck. Oh, God.” He moved through it, more of those slow, deep thrusts that made her whimper and writhe.

  When he finally stilled, Noah withdrew on a shudder, but he didn’t let her go. He hugged her tight, his front to her back, her front still to the door. He let his head thunk against the solid surface, the sou
nd of a thick swallow right in her ear.

  “Noah?” He didn’t answer, just continued to hold tight. “Noah, let me turn around.”

  Finally, he released her, and then she was the one clinging tight to him. She turned, pressed onto tiptoes, and threw her arms around his neck. One beat passed, then another, and then he finally returned the embrace, his arms going loosely around her back.

  Now. Now she had to tell him. She had to lay it all out there and tell him exactly how she felt. No more “it’s just sex” charades, no more delusions that they were just friends, no more holding back this beautiful, overwhelming feeling inside her.

  She pulled away just enough to meet his eyes, and her hands slid down to cup both sides of his face. “I didn’t sleep with Ethan, Noah,” she said, shaking her head. “I left his apartment because I realized how much of a mistake it had been to go out with him at all. Because … because you’re the one I want. You’re the one I’ve always wanted. You are my best friend, but you’re also the man I’ve fallen in love with.” The words came faster and faster, spilling out of her now. “I don’t know when it happened. I don’t know if it was two weeks ago when we kissed in your room or nineteen years ago when I fell off my bike and you rode over to ask me if I was okay.” She shrugged, so full of emotion that her chest ached and tears pricked her eyes. “But it doesn’t matter when it happened, only that it did. I love you, Noah. I love you so much.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  The words were like a slap to Noah’s face, jarring him back to reality. They rang in his ears over and over—I love you, Noah. I love you so much.

  All Noah could do was stare down at Kristina’s pretty face, so filled with sweet affection. For him. Her damp hair was drying in messy waves, and her lovely chest heaved, still flush with the exertion of what they’d done. And it all made her the most beautiful person he’d ever seen. But as much as her words tempted him, as much as he wanted to be able to lay claim to them, he also heard three others echoing inside his brain.