Reckless Together

  "Don't set your expectations too high." He unlocked the car for me.

  We drove with the windows down through Greek Row, which smelled like cheap beer owned the block and pounded with loud music and drunken laughter. Down the hill off campus and back up the hill on the other side to Logan's apartment complex. He parked in his usual spot. He waited for me behind the car and took my hand, leading me to the party.

  Just like Greek Row, the area thrummed with music. The air held an overtone of freshly plowed fields that blended with the scent of alcohol, reminding me of the first time I'd come to a party at Logan's place. And how he'd taken me to the edge of the fields behind the complex to look at the stars. That was where I would have rather been now, gazing at the stars with Logan's arms around me. Just the two of us alone with the Milky Way and the universe beyond. Without the incentive to party to get Logan to loosen up, I wanted him all to myself.

  The clubhouse was packed. The party spilled out to the surrounding area. Just as I was about to ask Logan if we could bag the party, Collin spotted us in the crowd and waved us over. He was hanging with Zave and group of friends, including a gorgeous blonde. I should have known Kelsie would be there. She looked stunning, like always. And confident. Even in the dim light I could see her eyes light up when she saw Logan. And the subtle frown she was fighting at the sight of me.

  She'd been friendly to me at Thanksgiving at Logan's. I hadn't seen her since. She was Logan's friend, not really mine. But now she looked past me to Logan with barely concealed longing in her eyes. They'd been friends forever. More than friends for a while. I knew they'd been hanging out while Logan and I had been apart. I realized our split had given Kelsie hope. No matter what she said, she wasn't over Logan. She could have had just about any guy she wanted, but she wanted mine. I shivered.

  She gave Logan a huge, lingering hug and yelled over the music. "What are you doing here? You're on call."

  My heart stopped. Kelsie knew? He'd told her and not me.

  Zave interrupted, handing me a red plastic cup of freshly tapped beer. "Drink up, Ellie. It's the only way to tolerate this party."

  I gave Zave a wobbly smile. He usually wasn't perceptive or sympathetic. Then I noticed the way he was looking at Kelsie and I understood. We were comrades in the battle of love, each fighting a shadow demon of our own. I wondered how I'd missed Zave's feeling for Kelsie before. Maybe they were new? Or maybe he'd masked them around Logan. Did Logan even realize?

  Logan laughed. "Yeah, Kels, thanks for twisting my arm."

  Kelsie laughed in reply. "What are friends for? Anyway, you know how much we need you and the girls trust you." She swung her gaze to me as if her sense of politeness wouldn't let her ignore me forever. "Ellie, it's been forever!" She gave me an air hug that held all the warmth of a cold shower.

  It hit me full force—she was the traitor, the one Logan couldn't refuse when she called and asked for his help. I was sure it was intentional on her part. I had to force myself to answer and make small talk. But the whole time, my blood pounded in my ears. I was angry with Kelsie and her machinations. Furious with Logan for letting himself be manipulated by her.

  Logan didn't notice. "Come on, El. Let's dance." He pulled the beer out of my hand, set it on a nearby table, and guided me to the center of writhing dancing crowd.

  Logan knew how to dance. But he completely ignored the fast beat of music and pulled me into him.

  I had to let it go. I had to or risk pushing him away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder as bursts of drunken laughter erupted around us. I shut them all out, trying to be in the moment with Logan. For a moment, I was happy and calm. Then his phone buzzed in his pocket. I felt it through both of our jeans. He ignored it.

  "Logan?"

  "Yeah, I know. I just don't want to let you go."

  He knew how to melt my heart. I reluctantly let go of him as he reached into his pocket and glanced at his phone. "Duty calls." To his credit, he sounded incredibly disappointed. "I'm sorry, El. I thought we'd have a few hours together. This is the earliest I've ever been called out."

  I shrugged, like what can you do? "Take me home on your way."

  "What? You don't want to stay at this fabulous party and hang with Collin and Zave?"

  "Stop teasing. I'm not dumb enough to depend on those two to get me home safely. Let's go." I took his arm.

  "It's just a short walk through the complex to the apartment. I should be back soon."

  I just stared at him.

  He took a deep breath. "Seriously, El, you want me to take you home like back to the dorm?"

  I nodded. "Yeah."

  "Wait for me at my place?" He looked hopeful to the point of pleading.

  But I couldn't. I knew I would just be there waiting way too eagerly for him to return. And getting more upset by the minute when he didn't. It was better to be unreasonable in my own space. But I couldn't help firing a parting shot. "I'd just be in the way here. I think Zave has a thing for Kelsie."

  Logan looked shocked, snorted, and laughed like I was crazy. I stared back at him, totally serious.

  "No way." He went serious, too, when I didn't back down. He shook his head. "He doesn't have a chance."

  I held Logan's gaze. "Not with you in the way." I started walking to the car with my heart pounding so loud in my ears it drowned the music out.

  Logan had to run to catch up to me. I kept walking, finally waiting for him at the car. He unlocked the door. We both got in in silence.

  He stuck the key in the ignition, turning to me before starting the engine. "There's nothing between Kelsie and me."

  I nodded. "I know you believe that. And I believe you when you say you don't have feelings for her. But she still has feelings for you. You'd see them if you weren't so busy trying to ignore them. Every time you hang out with her or share your troubles with her. Or jump when she asks you to be a security escort—"

  "El, that's not fair—"

  I held up a hand to silence him. "Since when is the truth fair? I know you volunteered because it's important to you. I'm sure it's important to Kelsie, too."

  And I wondered if she was the one who'd gotten Logan involved with CAPSA in the first place. "But it's more than that to her. She sees it as you doing it for her as much as for the girls who need your help.

  "You have to cut her loose, Logan. Hard as it is. As much as her feelings aren't your fault, they aren't really hers, either. She needs distance and space from you. She needs to realize there's no hope. Let her go, and guide her into Zave's arms. He could use her steadying influence."

  We didn't speak for the rest of the drive back to the dorm. I couldn't tell whether he was upset with me or just thinking things through. He pulled to a stop in front of my dorm and gave me a quick peck. "I'll call you tomorrow."

  "You better." I kissed him back, trying to show I wasn't being unreasonable or pushing him away. "Be safe out there."

  He waited until I was inside the dorm before he pulled away. I watched him drive off from the side window by the front door. Just as he pulled out of sight, I realized I'd left my flowers on the seat. But I wasn't going to call him back for them.

  Bre was sitting on her bed in our room, watching television in her sweats. Her hair was swept up in a ponytail with strands randomly falling free. She wasn't wearing any makeup, either.

  She physically jumped when I came in, that was how surprised she was to see me. She muted the TV. "You scared me!"

  "Yeah, I have that effect on people," I said.

  "Only when you sneak up on them. What are you doing back? I didn't expect to see you until next weekend?" She gave me a concerned look, probably hoping I wasn't going to go into depressed mode, too. One of us needed to be somewhat up.

  "Logan got called to security-escort duty." I plopped onto my bed across from her, all dressed up with no place to go.

  "That's crappy." Her voice was full of commiseration. "You spent all day getting ready to go out." br />
  "I know. I even braved sunburn." And was paying for it now.

  She stared at me, waiting for the story to come out. Finally I explained, briefly.

  "This is important to him."

  "Okay," she said. "And you're playing the selfless girlfriend. I get it."

  "Not so selfless. I'm kind of pissed, actually."

  Bre laughed. "Yeah, that's obvious. What else did he do?"

  "Nothing." I took a deep breath. "It's what Kelsie did." I gave Bre my theory.

  "That is really crappy. Did she know you two had plans?"

  I shot her my deadpan look. "What do you think?"

  "Yeah, that's low. Jealous bitch. She had her shot and lost him." Bre's phone sat on the bed next to her. It buzzed. She picked it up and glanced at it. "Email." She shrugged. "Want to get her back? We could pose as an admirer on Missed Connections. Kill her with curiosity."

  "No." I grinned at the thought, though. I was so not a good person at times.

  "You're no fun. Want to watch a movie? Or we could go to the dining hall and pig out on ice cream." Bre kept checking her phone.

  "Maybe a movie." I frowned, wondering what Bre was up to. "Are you expecting a text?"

  Bre's brave smile faded and she sagged. "You caught me. Before you came home I was just going to watch a movie and do a little cyberstalking of Dan. Don't look at me like that. I just check my Twitter feed and Facebook and see if anybody mentions him. Or he posts anything interesting. I'm not going to do anything."

  I didn't fully believe her. Not after the phone escapade. "Pathetic. Get dressed. Let's go for ice cream and a movie. It beats sitting here obsessing about guys." When she kept staring at her phone like she was ignoring me, I jumped from my bed and went to her closet. I got a pair of jeans and tossed them at her.

  She deflected them with one arm and let them plop next to her on the bed. "Wait! This is interesting." Bre let out a whistle.

  "What?" I turned back toward her, wary.

  "'Hashtag Logan Walker is on security-escort duty tonight! Now's your chance to have a hottie walk you home. Hashtag Sweet. Hashtag sigh.'" Bre looked up at me.

  "Logan's been hashtagged?" I rushed to the side of her bed. "Who tweeted that?"

  Bre held out the phone for me to see. "@collegegirl25. Her profile is blank. No picture. She's a sock puppet."

  I took her phone, frowned at it, and handed it back. Bre ignored me as she brought Facebook up and searched for something. "Whoa. Have you looked at Logan's wall lately? He has a crazy number of fans. A few haters. But mostly fans."

  I grabbed my phone and brought up Logan's profile, stunned when I saw what Bre had.

  "Whoa!" she repeated. "Someone's created a fan page for him, too. See the link?"

  I did. And I clicked on it. My stomach turned over. The page had thousands of likes. It was filled with adoring comments and selfies of girls with Logan dropping them off at their dorms, sororities, and apartments. Messages of thanks from girls he'd walked home. Messages from girls wishing he'd walk them home.

  "'Logan Walker, you are so aptly named,'" Bre read. "'You can walk me home anytime. You can walk me anywhere.'" Bre made a gagging noise and rolled her eyes. She glanced at me. "Maybe you should be worried, Ellie. These are real fangirls."

  "Logan," I whispered, ignoring Bre. I didn't know if I should be jealous or incredibly proud. The girls loved him, saying how funny and genuine he was. How he made them feel at ease and safe. How they supported him totally. And how they were going to cram the courthouse in support of him on the day he testified.

  If I stayed away from the trial, like he'd asked me to, to the world I'd look like the biggest bitch of a girlfriend in girlfriend history. But how could I go?

  Just by being Logan, he had charmed all these girls and made them fall a little bit in love with him. They adored him.

  Maybe he was right. Maybe he'd never live down this trial. But not for the reasons he thought. He was becoming an object of hero worship. No one thought he was any less a man, at least not judging from this page.

  I looked up at Bre. "Why didn't I know about this?"

  "Because you never went looking." Her expression softened. "Don't worry. He loves you."

  For now, I thought. Until fate and circumstance won.

  "But it I were you," Bre added, "I'd keep an eye on him. Some of these girls are rabid."

  Chapter Thirteen

  Logan

  El's flowers sat on the seat next to Logan as he pulled away. He noticed them too late. El was already out of the car and sliding through her dorm door. He thought about texting El to come get them before he took off, but she was upset with him and needed her space.

  He didn't blame her. If he was honest, she was being amazingly sympathetic. If she'd blown him off to escort random guys home, he'd do something stupid. Like punching them out. He felt crappy about upsetting her. And worse about what El had said about Kelsie—was he really stringing her along? Was Kels still into him?

  Shit, new complications were the last thing he needed right now with his grad school interview coming up on Wednesday, followed by Mom's Weekend and the trial and the business deal with Amber at risk. Everything felt like it was about to spin apart and he was barely holding it together.

  He shouldn't have let Kels talk him in to taking this shift tonight. He realized that now. It was just that he'd hurt Kels in the past, too. He owed her. Until El pointed out the obvious, he'd thought he was just helping out a friend for a good cause.

  A lot of people thought he was cocky and arrogant. But he wasn't all that vain. Not really. Maybe that was why he had a hard time believing Kels still had a thing for him after the way he'd treated her. Especially now, when he was so obviously in love with El.

  He was going to have to fix all this shit. He just didn't know how right now. He pulled into a spot in a parking lot near the science library and put his security-escort pass in the car window before hopping out, putting on his security-escort vest, and making the climb uphill to the library entrance.

  The girl Logan was supposed to escort was waiting for him between the double doors at the entrance. The library closed at eleven on Saturday nights. It was shutting down now. Logan wondered why it was open at all past about three in the afternoon.

  The girl was short and chubby. His grandma would have said pleasantly plump. Her hair was a mousy brown, cut in a style that didn't flatter her round face. The heavy backpack she had slung over one shoulder looked like it was threatening to tip her over backward.

  "Amy?" he asked, though it was obvious she was waiting for him and it was hard to miss his neon security vest. He extended his hand. "Logan Walker. Your security escort tonight."

  "Logan Walker. The Logan Walker?" She hesitated like she was surprised.

  "I don't know about the Logan Walker. Last time I checked there were hundreds of us in the country. Maybe thousands. Walker is a pretty common name. I think I'm the only one on campus, though. If that's what you mean."

  "Sorry. You're kind of famous." She didn't sound horribly awed, but she did act flustered.

  "Infamous, you mean."

  She regarded him with round eyes. "No, I think you have a pretty good rep."

  "I don't know where you heard that. You'd better check your sources." He stretched his hand out to her. "Let me carry that backpack for you."

  "A gentleman, too? Is carrying my backpack part of the service? Or are you trying to earn a tip? FYI, I don't have any cash on me."

  He laughed. "No tips. We aren't allowed to take them. But it would make me feel better if you let me carry that thing. You're going to give yourself back problems hauling that thing everywhere."

  She slid it off her shoulder and handed it to him. It was just as heavy as it looked. He slung it over his shoulder and held the door open for her. "Where are we going?"

  She gave him the name of her dorm. From where he was parked, it was just as easy to walk her home as to walk to the parking lot and drive her.

&
nbsp; "Why isn't a guy like you out partying tonight?" Amy asked as they walked toward the footbridge that crossed the street to her dorm.

  He grinned at her, but the question cut him. "How do you know I wasn't?"

  "You seem to be sober enough," she said. "I don't smell alcohol on your breath and you aren't weaving."

  He shrugged. "As a matter of fact, I was partying when you called. With my girl. Do you want me to put my finger on my nose and walk a straight line?"

  Amy smiled at him and giggled. "Proof not needed." She was beginning to puff and wheeze. "She must be really understanding."

  He slowed down. He had long legs and a habit of accidentally walking too fast for the girls. "Yeah, she is. She understands it's important to me to protect others from being victimized." It was only a partial lie.

  "Even if it means leaving her to party alone? That's a really great girl. And you're a trusting guy. You better hang on to her. Most of the girls I know would tell you where to go, as in someplace really warm. And I don't mean Hawaii."

  He laughed, but Amy had pricked his conscience again. Running out on El, no matter how just the cause, wasn't fair to her. He changed the subject. "Tell me—why is a cute girl like you studying on a Saturday night and not out partying?"

  They passed beneath a streetlight. Amy blushed. He'd flustered her.

  "I'm trying to keep my scholarship."

  "Wise plan," he said.

  They chatted about nothing until they reached Amy's dorm. He waited while she got her key out and unlocked the door. Then he handed her backpack to her.

  "This really isn't just PR for you, is it?" Amy sounded surprised by the realization.

  Logan wasn't sure whether he should be offended or not. Instead, he laughed. "No."

  "Sorry!" She blushed again. "I didn't mean to insult you. It's just, a guy like you giving up his Saturday nights isn't typical. And with the trial coming up, I thought…I thought wrong, obviously." She stared at her feet a moment and laughed at herself before meeting his eye. "Thank you, Logan."

  He nodded. "Anytime." He turned to leave.

  "Logan?"

  He stopped and turned to look at Amy over his shoulder.