Reckless Together

  We dove in and spent a happy two hours browsing and buying. Mom spoiled me, buying me anything I commented that I liked. I told her to stop.

  She ignored me. "You haven't let me buy you anything all year."

  Beth was just as bad as Mom. I became their packhorse. Mom offered for us to walk Beth back to Dex's. "There's no way you can carry all these packages yourself," she said.

  I texted Dex we were on our way to his room. As we crossed the footbridge to campus, two hot guys were coming the opposite way. They gave me the up-and-down, being way obvious. And completely ignoring Mom.

  As we walked past the SUB, I was whistled at, catcalled to, given the up-and-down, and asked for my number while Mom was almost totally ignored. The closer we got to Dex's dorm, the more guys suddenly noticed my hotness.

  In the lobby, Todd, one of the guys from Dex's floor, spotted me. "Ellie, you are smoking today!" He glanced at mom. "That your old lady?" He acted totally unimpressed.

  "Yeah." What was up with Todd today?

  Dex. He was pranking me. Trying to build my confidence. Getting at Mom for me. I smiled to myself.

  I cornered him when we got to his room. "How much did you pay all those guys to catcall me?"

  "What are you talking about?" He looked way too innocent.

  I knew he was guilty. "Thanks," I said, meaning it.

  He blushed.

  Logan

  Logan had been up for over thirty-six hours when he and Caleb left his place to pick up El and Melissa. Rather than flagging, he felt energized, more optimistic than he had in months. Melissa had been right about Amber. He was convinced she was involved in corporate espionage for Core Technologies and was playing both sides, trying to maximize her profits for the venture deal she'd conned him into investing in.

  He didn't give a shit about turning Amber in. He wanted the IPO to go through and turn him a nice profit. He wanted his money back, and now he thought he could get it. Thanks to Melissa.

  He wished, for the millionth time, El knew what he did about Melissa. If she did, she'd forgive her mom, or at least come to terms with her. And then peace and family harmony would reign supreme. He almost snorted. Like that would ever happen.

  He'd also received a letter from the university. He'd been accepted into grad school. Options were opening up.

  "What are you smiling about?" Caleb punched Logan in the arm as they got into Logan's car.

  He'd crashed with Logan last night and hung out all day, playing video games and drinking with Collin and Zave while their moms were out.

  "Nothing. Get in the car."

  "Sure. Right." Caleb got in and slammed the door. "You're thinking about getting laid as soon as you can the moms out of town. It's Saturday night. I'm not waiting. Up All Night better be full of girls as horny as I am."

  "That's a physical impossibility. Most of them will be there with their moms." Logan texted El they were on their way, put the car in drive, and pulled out of the parking spot.

  "There has to be one or two I can separate from their mama."

  Logan rolled his eyes. "Going pro has made you way full of yourself."

  Logan texted El when he found a parking spot. She and Melissa were waiting for them on the front steps of her dorm when he arrived with Caleb.

  El looked way hot. His heart constricted, like it always did when he saw her. He didn't deserve her, but he sure wanted her. He ached to touch her and share his good news. All of it. But he held back the news. As he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, he couldn't resist sliding his hand up until it brushed the side of her perfect breasts. He got a hard-on instantly.

  "Hello to you, too." El smiled at him. "You look happy."

  "He got some good news." Caleb gave him a brotherly shove. "Tell her."

  "I got into grad school. The letter came today."

  El's eyes lit up. She squealed and hugged him. He wanted to tell her not to get too excited yet. He still wasn't sure he could stand another year or two here. But the thought of leaving her nearly broke him. He needed her the way he'd never needed anyone.

  "Logan, that is so awesome!" El hugged.

  "Congrats." Melissa flashed him a radiant smile. "That's all the good news?"

  "There might be more. Later." As he put his arm around El, he caught Caleb staring at Melissa and went cold.

  His brother was on the make, and from the look on his face, he wanted Melissa.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Ellie

  The SUB ballroom pulsed with disco lights and eighties music and moms of all kinds—those who stood nervously on the sidelines like mother hens, those who preferred to listen to the music and remember, those who tolerated dancing with their sons like good sports, those who were pretending to be young and in college again, flirting with the college guys, writhing in ways unbecoming for people of certain ages and shapes. And Mom, who was in a class all her own—young enough to be between generations of most of the moms and coeds. Slim and sexy. Confident. Desirable. A favorite with the college guys.

  She'd been on the dance floor since we arrived. Mostly with Caleb, slinking around him, gyrating her hips, shaking her bootie. When he looked at her, his eyes were dark with desire. They made me nervous.

  Logan ignored them. He was as happy, glittering, as effervescent as I'd ever seen him as we danced.

  As he led me deeper into the heart of the dance floor, he whispered in my ear over the music, "This is our place, our event, El. Good things are coming. Do you feel it?"

  I felt him—his hands warm and enticing at my waist, skimming my breasts, touching my hair. He was right. This was our place. And maybe it was our time.

  Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer" began to play. I felt like Logan and I were living on a prayer, too.

  I caught a glimpse of Mom and Caleb. His hands were on her waist while she jumped and gyrated and swung her arms over her head, laughing.

  I closed my eyes to block them out and leaned into Logan, pulling him into a kiss, opening my mouth to him and slipping my tongue in next to his. I sucked at his lip and gently nibbled as I ran my hands through his hair. This wasn't a slow song, but I didn't care. I wanted to forget all the bad stuff and just be happy in the moment.

  Logan pulled me tight against him. I felt his dick go hard in his jeans. I wanted him. He knew it from the way I looked at him. He grinned wickedly and wedged his leg between mine, rubbing me.

  "You'll give me a wet spot," I said.

  "That's the idea."

  I sighed and focused on Logan and the music. I lost count, but we danced to two or three more songs at least. I was turned on. Logan was turned on.

  The latest song ended. I opened my eyes and looked around. Mom was gone.

  My phone buzzed in my jeans. Who was texting me now? I pulled my phone out. "A text from Mom," I said. "She ran into an old friend. She says to text her when we're ready to meet up."

  Logan's eyes sparkled with lust and promise. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

  "What are you thinking?" I asked, cautiously.

  "That we go to my place and have some fun before we text Melissa to meet up. Collin and Zave and their moms are out until late."

  "Do you really think she met an old friend? Or is she making a new one?" I frowned.

  Logan tipped my face up and nibbled my lips. "I think she just gave us an opportunity to be alone." He paused. "I want you, El." His voice broke with desire.

  My breath caught. I felt heat between my legs. I was already wet for him as he took my hand.

  "Let's go," he said.

  "I'm having my period." I hated to remind him. When I was on the pill it only lasted a few days and was light after the first day. It would be over by tomorrow.

  "That doesn't bother me, as long as you're up for it."

  "What about Caleb?" I looked around for him, feeling a wave of unease. Caleb and Mom were both missing.

  "He's on his own and looking to get laid. Let's hope he gets lucky and is occupied on his ow
n a while. He has a key. He knows his way back." Logan ran his hand beneath the edges of my blouse and played with my bellybutton ring.

  I took his arm and pushed my worries aside as coincidence. "You're playing dirty."

  "I'm playing to win."

  The ride to Logan's place was one long round of foreplay. I rested my hand in his lap. He slid his hand between my legs. I sucked on his ear. He clutched my thigh. We were panting for each other by the time we reached his apartment. He pulled out his key and let us in, tugging me into the darkened living room as he slid his hands beneath my blouse and bent to kiss the tops of my breasts.

  I grabbed his head and clutched at his short hair, feeling tightly wound and eager for him, reveling in the warmth of his tongue on my skin and the thrill of being with him.

  He was about to slide the front door closed with his foot when we both heard the telltale thumping of sex. The walls were paper thin. The thumping could have been coming from next door, except…

  The door to Logan's bedroom was closed. A sliver of light glowed beneath it.

  "I am going to fuck you so hard." Caleb's voice.

  Logan let go of me. "Shit. I'm going to kill him."

  A woman moaned, enthusiastically, with ever-increasing intensity.

  I froze. My heart, like, literally stopped beating. I broke out in a cold sweat. "Mom and Caleb disappeared at the same time."

  I felt like I was going to throw up.

  Before I could stop Logan, he tore open the bedroom door.

  I remained glued in place, too horrified at the visions my on mind made to move. To look at what I didn't want to see. Memories of Mom and Austin came flooding back. My hand flew to my face. I swore my scar throbbed.

  Doug punching Austin. Blood flying. Screams. Doug's fist slamming into me. A sob lodged in my throat.

  "No!" I screamed to Logan. "Don't!" I had to stop Logan from losing control and beating the crap out of his brother. I forced myself to take a step.

  Logan charged into the room. "Amber? What the fuck?"

  "Amber?" My relief was so strong, my knees became jelly. I put my head in my hands.

  "What are you doing, man? Get the fuck out of here," Caleb shouted at Logan.

  "Get out of my bed!"

  I heard footsteps. The sounds of bedsprings groaning.

  "Get your hands off me!" Caleb said.

  Sounds of a scuffle breaking out. A thump. Swearing.

  Amber screamed. "Boys! Calm down."

  Just as I moved, the living room light flipped on.

  "Ellie? What's going on here?"

  I spun around and thought I was hallucinating. Harlan, Sue, and Mom stood just inside the door.

  "Do something!" I begged Harlan. "Stop them. Caleb's in there with Amber. Logan walked in—"

  Harlan brushed past me with Sue on his heels. A second later, Sue's hysterical voice echoed, "Get away from my boys, you whore!"

  The sounds of a slap reverberated off the walls.

  "Get out of the way, Sue." Harlan's voice was hard. "I'll handle this." His footfalls pounded the floor so hard I swear I felt it bounce. "Boys!"

  I collapsed into Mom's arms, like a little girl who just needed her mommy. She pulled me close, wrapping her arms around me while I blocked out the terrifying sounds of fighting and screaming. Blocked out the name-calling and the accusations. Hid in my mom's embrace.

  "What are you doing here?" I managed to whisper to her.

  "I'll explain later." She stroked my hair, soothingly, like she had when I was small as she pressed my head on her shoulder. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." It was clear she meant this bad scene we were in and the one it echoed. "You shouldn't have to deal with this kind of crap again. Are you okay?"

  Harlan was shouting now. I pictured him pulling Logan and Caleb apart. I imagined Amber huddled in Logan's bed with the sheets pulled high.

  Sue started screaming at her again, all kinds of terrible things I tried to block out.

  "We should go." Mom led me toward the door.

  I looked over my shoulder toward Logan's room.

  "This is a family matter. Believe me, it's best to let Harlan and Sue deal with this. The less we see or say, the less they think we heard, the less embarrassment there will be later."

  "But Logan—"

  "You might not believe me, but he's in good hands." She put her arm around my shoulder. "My car's in the lot. You can text Logan later. Right now, I think we need at least a gallon of ice cream. Ice cream makes everything better. How about some of the university's famous concoctions?"

  "The creamery's closed. Grocery Mart carries it by the gallon."

  "Good," she said, leading me out of the apartment. "We'll get as much as we want, try a dozen flavors. Buy a pack of spoons and go back to your room and watch a movie." She gave me a squeeze. "Just chill until this blows over."

  She walked me to the car with her arm around me. To my surprise, I didn't feel like brushing her off. We didn't speak until we were both in the car and buckled up.

  I wanted to know what had happened. "How did you end up with Harlan and Sue? You texted that you met someone you knew?"

  Mom nodded. "I went to the ladies' room. When I came out, I ran into Sue and Harlan coming out of a private banquet room down the hall from the ballroom. They'd been at a dinner for the College of Business that had just gotten out. I seized the opportunity and asked them for a moment to tell them what I knew. As hard-assed as Harlan is, I knew he could help Logan. We went downstairs to find someplace private to talk. I texted you so you wouldn't worry when you couldn't find me.

  "After they heard what I had to say, we went to the ballroom to find you and Logan. When we couldn't find you, and neither of you responded to our texts, we decided to wait for you at Logan's. Sue has an emergency key to it. Turns out we didn't need it. You know what happened from there." She paused. "Ellie? You're still pale. In this dim light you look like a vampire."

  "Thanks, Mom. You know how to pep me up."

  She shook me gently. "I understand being shaken up by what just happened." She took a deep breath. "Tell me straight—you thought that was me with Caleb. At least for a second there."

  I let out a breath. There was no point in lying. I nodded. "Sorry."

  "No, it's okay. A natural assumption, if you were looking for it. I lost your trust. It's going to take time to earn it back." She laughed, but it was humorless. "Believe me, I know how long it can take to forgive a betrayal. I hope you're more forgiving than I am." She bit her lip. "I think you are, El. I think you're a much better person than I am."

  She looked straight ahead and started the car before I could answer. Grocery Mart was just a few minutes away from Logan's. As we rode there in companionable silence, I mulled over what she'd said. I could be a better person than she was. She was trying so hard. I didn't trust her, but maybe I should give her another chance?

  The parking lot was crowded. We had to wait for a spot. Inside the store was equally crowded, especially the booze section. Which was also woefully understocked. Most of the good stuff was gone.

  We walked past the seasonal section, which was stocked with university T-shirts, hats, flip-flops, banners, posters, beer cozies, and key chains. As we browsed, I texted Logan, saying I'd see him tomorrow.

  We finally made our way to the frozen section.

  "Yum!" Mom was trying hard to be enthusiastic. She rarely splurged on desert. But it was a tradition to drown ourselves in ice cream when one of us, usually her, had a relationship end badly. "Mountain huckleberry. Chocolate chip cookie dough. Mint chip. Double chocolate whammy. S'mores. Anything strike your fancy?"

  I reached into the case. "Espresso swirl. Mint chip. Huckleberry."

  "Huckleberry?" She smiled her teasing smile at me.

  I repeated her old mantra. "Fruit makes it all healthy so the calories don't count."

  She hugged me. "That's my girl."

  The aisles were crowded. People dodging this way and that. We reached the end of
the aisle.

  "Let's go all out and get cookies, too," Mom said. "Which way?"

  "To the right." I pointed.

  We turned sharply right as a man carrying a bag of diapers, with his head down as he texted, came out of the aisle next to us. He crashed into Mom. They reached out and steadied each other, each stammering apologies.

  The man looked up. Time stood almost perfectly still, along with my heart, as their eyes met.

  I said a prayer, but I was too late.

  Mom went pale. "Jason Front?"

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The round cartons of ice cream Mom had been carrying bounced out of her arms onto the floor and rolled away. She was so stunned that she didn't stoop to stop them.

  "Melissa?" Jason's eyes were round with surprise.

  Both of my parents turned to me and spoke at the same time, "Ellie?"

  "He's why you're at this school? You went looking for your father." She spat the words out. Her eyes flashed. Her tone was hard and angry, full of hurt, like I'd been the one to totally betray her.

  Just when things had been going so well between us.

  "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here." I shook my finger at Jason. "I gave you Walmart."

  "Walmart was out of Mia's diapers. Grocery Mart wasn't on your schedule. I thought I'd be in and out—"

  "Ellie!" It was like Mom snapped. She looked ragged and panicked and angry. I didn't understand her. "You went looking for your father!"

  "Yes. And I found him!" I snapped, too, and hurled everything I felt at her. "And I wouldn't have had to if you'd ever told me about him. Why did you keep him from me?"

  She was shaking and shaking her head. "No. I can't believe this." She looked like she was on the verge of hyperventilating, she was so worked up. "Ever think there was a reason? I had a good reason, Ellie! A damn good reason." Her eyes blazed with accusation. She stabbed a finger at me. "You read my diary!" She spat the words out like they were the worst accusation she could make. Like I had violated her trust. Like she'd never read mine.