Reckless Together

  His cell phone rang. He answered without looking at the number, hoping it was El.

  "Logan! The phone barely rang. Were you waiting for my call?"

  Logan's heart stopped for the instant it took him to recognize the voice. "Melissa."

  She sounded so much like El it was unnerving, right down to her tinkling laugh. Only hers was edged with manipulation and confidence, while El's was always genuine and pure.

  "I just got off the phone with Ellie," Melissa said. "Congratulations on finally screwing my daughter. You have succeeded where other fine, horny young men have failed. My hat's off to you."

  "What the fuck are you talking about?" El wouldn't have told her mother.

  "Exactly! You're so cute denying it. Go ahead and brag. I'm not your typical mother. I'm actually proud. Glad to know my daughter's no longer a prude."

  "El didn't tell you anything."

  "She didn't have to. I heard it in the glow in her voice and the fierce way she protected you and told me to stay away from you. She's crazy for you, Logan. You should be thrilled."

  Logan swallowed hard, fighting a tic in his jaw.

  "A word of friendly warning from her mama bear—don't hurt my kid, Logan Walker. Treat her nicely. She's glommed onto you. I expect you to stick with her, at least for a while. I hope you're not the kind who puts a notch on his bedpost and moves on."

  "What do you want?" he said.

  "Diversionary tactics—nice. I knew there's a reason we get along so well. I'm actually calling to tell you I took your advice and now I'm coming to Mom's Weekend. Isn't that wonderful?"

  Logan scowled, wary. "What advice?"

  She laughed. "You must be in a study fog. Your sage advice about waiting and giving Ellie time to cool off and come to her senses so she could see that she needs her mother."

  "She invited you?" he asked, stunned. He couldn't believe El would. How had Melissa twisted her arm?

  "No, of course not! I invited myself. But she didn't refuse me." She laughed again like she'd scored a great triumph. "So we'll be seeing each other soon. I'm looking forward to meeting your family. Your mom is coming?"

  Logan cursed beneath his breath, recognizing a grandmaster manipulating him. The gentle flirt in her voice put him on guard. She could be charming, even when she was being diabolical. She toyed with emotions and lives as if it came naturally to her.

  She'd claimed all along that she wanted a relationship with El and nothing more. He didn't believe her. He recognized another damaged person when he saw one. She wanted something more. If he had to guess, her motives were purely selfish. She wanted to feel good. She wanted to be adored. She wanted to be young again and live through her daughter. Melissa's problem was that she wasn't content to live through El. She wanted to be El.

  "I have no idea," he said. He hoped not.

  "What are you waiting for? Call and invite her!"

  "Why?"

  "Why not? Now that her boy is sleeping with my baby, we should all meet each other, don't you think?"

  "Not a good idea. You won't like my mom."

  "You mean she won't like me!" Melissa laughed again, almost manically bright. "No answer? You're not going to rush to reassure me that's not the case? That she'll absolutely love me?

  "Don't worry. Save yourself the trouble. Very few women like me. It doesn't bother me. I've learned to live with it. But I'd like to meet the woman who raised the man my daughter is crazy for."

  Logan wondered where Melissa was getting her information. El would never have talked to Melissa about him. If she was trying to flatter him, she had failed in the attempt.

  Melissa changed the direction of the conversation abruptly. "Has the court set a date for your testimony? It has to be coming up."

  "My lawyer called Friday. I'm set to testify against Her the week after Mom's Weekend."

  Her was Dr. Rhonda Rogers, his former chemistry professor and rapist. Despite attempts to get Dr. Rogers to plead guilty to multiple counts of rape and save her victims the embarrassment and agony, she had insisted on going to trial. She was crazy. Certifiable. Logan had to stop her. His dad was furious at him for insisting on going to court to testify. The old man could go to hell. Logan needed this. This and his work with Kelsie at CAPSA, the Campus Alliance to Prevent Sexual Assault, kept him sane.

  "Oh, baby. That's rough." Melissa's tone changed to genuine sympathy. He liked her better when he caught a glimpse of the real Melissa, not the troubled woman. The Melissa who reminded him of El.

  Every time she came out, he vowed to protect El so that she never became her mother—permanently damaged.

  "I don't know what to tell you. It's going to be excruciating. Embarrassing. Infuriating. She'll be there right in front of you, staring you down, trying to intimidate you and daring you to defy her…"

  She sighed, sounding almost faraway and lost in old, tormenting thoughts. "The courtroom will be small, so much smaller and more intimate than they look on TV. That's part of the reason—" She cut herself off.

  He heard her take a deep breath.

  "It's why I chickened out in the end and didn't come forward as one of his victims." She paused again, like she needed to screw up her courage to talk about it. "I went to the courthouse and sat in on a different rape trial just after it happened. When the victim testified against the bastard who raped her, he stared her down, full of rage, looking like she was trash, not him.

  "He was an animal. A filthy, disgusting piece of what could barely be called humanity. His lawyers weren't much better, bringing up her love life, how many sex partners she'd had…"

  All these years later her voice wavered with fear and there was a shade of frightened girl in it just beneath the surface. "I couldn't face it. But I paid the price in other ways. Such a great price."

  Her voice became hard again. The girl disappeared. "Never mind. It was a long time ago. You'll survive it. Like I did. You either survive or die. What other choice do you have? If you die, even on the inside, they've won. Don't give her that power. Never give her anything but justice."

  He hoped he survived it a hell of a lot better than Melissa had. But he was no different from her, really, and that scared the shit out of him.

  "There are two main ways victims cope after a rape," Melissa said. "Remind the jury of that if the lawyers drag up your sex life. You either retreat into yourself and are afraid of sex. Or you become super sexually active to prove that sex doesn't defeat or own you. Each reaction is completely normal.

  "I liked sex. I wouldn't let it beat me. So I became the local slut. If anyone had known I'd been raped, they would have believed I deserved it. Don't you ever believe you deserved it. Do you hear me, Logan?"

  "Yeah."

  After his rape, Logan had gone crazy. Hypersexual, his counselor called it. He'd slept with so many girls he'd lost count. He didn't remember half of them. Being a guy had its advantages—he gained a reputation as a great lover. No one but him and his counselor knew his real motivation.

  "How is your work with the Campus Alliance for the Prevention of Sexual Assault going? What do you call it, CAPSA?"

  "They've been supportive, even though their mission is geared ninety-nine percent toward women. Working with them has been healing. After that reporter outed me as one of the victims, I didn't have much choice. I could hide or fight back and protect others."

  "Logan, the good superhero," Melissa said without being condescending or belittling in any way. "At least you have a group to talk to. And you're still one of the security escorts for women walking alone?"

  "I help out as often as I can."

  "Does Ellie know what you do?"

  "Only if she's read the campus news during the time we were apart. I haven't specifically told her."

  "You should. Tell her about the nasty emails, too. She'll understand. My kid is sympathetic and has a good head. She'll help you deal with them. Have you received any lately?"

  Logan snorted. "Only like every day. I'm not sharing
that vile shit with El. It's the last thing she needs."

  "Logan—"

  "I know what I'm doing."

  "Yeah, I'm sure you do. We all think we do, anyway. Just think about it, Logan. Take it from me—it's way too easy to make a mistake right now. Let Ellie in."

  In keeping with her mercurial mood changes, Melissa laughed again. But it was definitely forced and bitter this time. "Maybe you'll get lucky at trial. They sure as hell can't accuse you of wearing tight skirts and low-cut blouses that enticed the attack."

  She paused. "You're a hot young man, Logan. Let's hope there's a double standard still in existence and they won't use your sex appeal against you, like I'm sure they would have against me."

  She wielded their common experience expertly, using it to get close to him. He saw through her, but felt a bond with her all the same. She was one of the few people he could talk frankly to without embarrassment. Unlike his father, she never judged.

  "There is a double standard. A much worse one—women can't rape men, remember? I'm not a rape victim at all, just a horny guy who likes older women."

  Every time he thought of Her, which was the only way he could think about Dr. Rogers—she was his she-who-shall-not-be-named—his palms went cold and clammy, bile rose in his throat, and he felt like vomiting. Now was no different. He felt broken and didn't bother hiding it from Melissa.

  "Oh, Logan, sweet boy. Don't talk like that. Ever." Her voice cracked with sympathy but her tone was fierce. "It was too bad you weren't underage when it happened. That bitch was smart, preying on college guys. They've put many female teachers away for statutory. But there were drugs involved. That takes away consent. The court will have to find her guilty. You'll have to make them."

  Her voice grew hard and determined. "With any luck, they'll lock her up for life and throw away the key. If you ever need to talk, I'm here. Anytime."

  Against his better judgment, Logan had sympathized with Melissa from the beginning. No matter what her other faults were, it was good to talk with her because she understood.

  "Are you ever going to tell El about your past?" He wondered why she hadn't.

  "Maybe. Someday."

  "She'd be more sympathetic toward you."

  Melissa laughed again. "I don't wear sympathy well. I've had way too much of it already. I certainly don't want any from my baby girl."

  Logan understood her position all too well. He was damned tired of sympathy.

  "There are some things a parent protects a child from. This is one of them." Melissa sounded almost vulnerable again. "You promised you wouldn't tell her."

  "I haven't." Though he wanted to. Desperately. But he understood being a victim and couldn't violate Melissa's privacy and trust. "I won't."

  "Have you told Ellie the date you're set to testify? Do you want her there?"

  "Not yet. I haven't had the chance," he said.

  Melissa hadn't known he and El had been apart these last months. She thought they'd been happily together. That was part of the deception, part of how he'd kept her away from El while El got to know Jason, her father.

  "Make up your mind soon about whether you do or don't. The sooner, the better. Whatever you decide, be honest with her. If she loves you like I think she does, she'll respect your decision."

  El would insist on being there. He wasn't sure he could handle her seeing his vulnerability on the stand, and he sure as hell didn't want the details of that night lodged in her mind. He hoped Melissa was right and wondered how she could swing back and forth so easily between empathy and sage advice and cruel, self-serving behavior.

  Neither spoke. Melissa broke the silence. "I have to go. I'll be in touch to talk about Mom's Weekend plans!" She laughed again. "Take care, Logan." The line went dead.

  Logan's cell rang in his hand before he could set it down. He looked at the caller ID and frowned. His mother was calling. He picked up. "Hey, Ma."

  "Logan." She sounded upset and worried. "I just found out the date for your court appearance. Why didn't you tell me?"

  "Mom, I just found out." It was a partial lie. He'd known long enough to tell her.

  Fortunately, she ignored his excuse. "I'm coming for it. Don't try to talk me out of it. Your dad will be there for the annual advisory board meeting and business plan competition. He has a room. We won't be any trouble. I'll come for Mom's Weekend with him and we'll stay straight through your testimony."

  Logan cursed beneath his breath. He'd been bracing for his father's visit. Harlan was on the advisory board for the College of Business. Their meeting and the business plan competition they judged every year always coincided with Mom's Weekend.

  Harlan had been to Mom's Weekend every year. Logan's mom had never come. It wasn't her thing. Harlan usually took Logan out for a meal while he was in town, and that was enough bonding for both of them. Logan had been anticipating—and dreading—his father's visit. He feared his dad would make a final bid to keep Logan from testifying.

  His mom spoke before Logan could react. "Caleb's coming, too."

  Fuck. The last thing Logan wanted or needed was his mom and his brother hearing the gory, humiliating details of his ordeal.

  "Doesn't Caleb have to play ball?"

  "His team has a bye that week. And he pulled a hamstring yesterday and is out of action for a few weeks. He's made arrangements to do his physical therapy at the university while we're there."

  Shit. There'd been a time when he and Caleb were so close he would have been the first to know about Caleb's injury and not had to find out about it from their mom.

  "Ma, there's no need for any of you to come. This is going to be ugly—"

  "Don't try to talk me out of it, Twenty-six. We're coming and that's it. We support you. We're going to be there for you."

  A message popped up on his laptop.

  When are u gonna stop screwing old profs and claiming you dont like it, dickhead? Guys like u make me sick. You werent raped. Your a playor. Everyone knows it. Stop acting like your a real victim.

  Chapter Four

  Ellie

  I was picking up my phone to call Logan when Bre stormed in.

  "Douchebag! Asshole." She glanced at my heart balloon floating in the corner of our room and scowled.

  Last night she'd been totally supportive when she came with me to meet Falcon26, who turned out to be Logan. I had expected her to want all the news, just like Tay and Nic had.

  Something had obviously gone wrong between her and her boyfriend Dan. "What did Dan do now?"

  She took off her coat, threw her purse on her desk, and plopped onto her bed. Her eyes were puffy and rimmed with red, like she'd been crying. "He's been sexting another girl. Some bitch from high school."

  Oh no. We were in for a crash. Bre was psycho where Dan was concerned. The anger in her eyes masked a deep, vengeful hurt. She and Dan had been dating since the first week of school. I'd always thought she was more into him than he was to her. I'd guessed it was only a matter of time until he broke things off, but I'd been dreading the day and selfishly hoping it happened after the school year ended so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Now the timing was impeccably bad. My happiness was only going to shine the spotlight on her unhappiness.

  "You're sure?" I asked.

  She glared at me. "I saw the texts. And the naked pictures of her."

  Ouch. Not good. "How?"

  Like I really wanted to know. Just like morbid curiosity can cause you to gape at a gory scene you know you shouldn't look at because it will give you nightmares, sometimes you can't help asking a morbid question. Because it seems like what a friend would do.

  She looked at me like I was crazy. "I read them on his phone."

  "You spied on his phone?" So, so not good.

  "He was in the bathroom. His phone was just lying there on his bed. It rang. A text popped up. What was I supposed to do? Ignore it?" She practically screamed at me. She was on the ragged verge of hysteria.

  I pictured a scene from th
at old movie Mom used to watch, Fatal Attraction, about a woman who gets revenge on her married lover after a one-night stand. I always thought vengeance ran too deeply in Mom's blood. On reflection, maybe she'd pictured herself as the married lover and was looking for ways to protect herself from the inevitable psycho. Whatever. Bre had that vengeful look now, and it wasn't pretty.

  "Don't look at me like I committed a felony when he was the one fooling around behind my back." She pulled his phone out of her pocket and shook it. It must have been his phone. It sure wasn't hers. "Want to see?"

  I swore beneath my breath. Bre had lost it. There was no way to reason with her. I should have shut up, but my mouth had a mind of its own. "You need to give that back to him. Don't make things worse."

  "Worse! How can things get any worse?" She jumped off the bed and went to the window like she was going to throw his phone out of it.

  "No!" I jumped up and grabbed her arm to stop her. "Bre! Don't go crazy on me. Don't do something you'll regret."

  She glared at me and backed away from the window. "You're right. Throwing this away is stupid."

  I took a breath, relieved but still wary. "Did you break up with him?"

  She narrowed her eyes. "No! We're not broken up. He's not breaking up with me. I'll show him." Her eyes snapped. She lifted her shirt, unhooked her bra, and snapped a picture of her naked breasts.

  My mouth fell open as she typed something and texted the picture to someone. "Showing him what he's missing?"

  Her eyes glistened with hatred. "You think way too small, Ellie. That's always been your problem. I just texted the bitch like I'm Dan. I told her, 'My girlfriend's tits are better than yours.' That will show her. And him. She'll dump him any second." She stared at the phone and grinned expectantly, like she couldn't wait for the returning teary text.

  "Oh, Bre."