Silence

On a sigh, I picked out my uniform and started getting dressed. Today was the first day back at school. Not only was it going to be a bad day, but in the evening, Mum’s friend was coming over for dinner. She just so happened to be a psychiatric doctor.

  I wasn’t buying the ‘coincidence’ at all.

  She’s trying to fix you. No one can fix you.

  A good psychiatric doctor will know you can still talk. Then, they all will.

  I won’t let them. I won’t let them.

  With shaking hands, I put on the black trousers.

  It’s okay. Even if they know you can talk it doesn’t mean you have to.

  I’m in control of that.

  No, you’re not. He is.

  Mum was trying a casual since I refused to go to back to any doctor surgery. I understood how desperate she was to help me, but what she felt now was nothing compared to how she’d feel if she found out the truth.

  Once I was dressed and my hair was brushed, I crept downstairs to get some breakfast. Mum was still in her room, and I didn’t fancy a conversation with her until the last minute.

  “You ready for today?” Cole asked, making me jump at how close he was. I was on the bottom step so at least he’d waited until I couldn’t fall down them all to scare me.

  I turned my nose up and nodded, resisting the urge to get back in bed and pretend I was ill. I’d never be ready for it, but I had little choice in the matter. There was just one more year to get through.

  “It’s going to be okay. If Julian says or does anything come and get me. I’ll meet you at break and give you my timetable so you’ll know where I’ll be if you need me.”

  I rolled my eyes gave him a look, feeling like a helpless little child who couldn’t stand up for herself. I knew he only wanted to protect me, but I couldn’t help feeling like his little sister when he did.

  Cole grabbed my hand and spun me around so I was facing him again when I turned away.

  “You can chuck it in your bag and never look at it if you want. Just take it. For me?” He pleaded, widening his eyes. It wasn’t often that he used that face on me, but it worked. Giving up, I wrapped my arms around his waist again.

  “Thank you,” he whispered into my hair, sending that familiar shiver right through me.

  We managed to stay away from my parents and eat breakfast in peace as they got ready upstairs. No doubt them talking longer was so they could talk about how to handle the visit from the psychiatrist tonight.

  Jasper walked in as we were eating our toast. My mouth dropped open. It was before nine. Was he sick? Oh, wait, he’s wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

  “Well, good morning, baby sister,” he chirped, ruffling my hair and laughing as I slapped his hand away.

  “Good night?” Cole questioned.

  Jasper grinned like an idiot and winked in our direction. “A gentleman never tells.”

  “Gentleman!” Cole scoffed.

  Couldn’t agree more.

  “Anyway, we don’t have time for the gruesome details, thankfully. We’ve got to go.” I stood up with Cole and gave Jasper a wave.

  “Text me if you need anything,” he shouted after me.

  On the way to school, I watched the time pass on Cole’s dashboard. Wasn’t watching it supposed to make it pass slower? The illuminated orange numbers flicked by too quickly. Before I knew it, Cole was reversing the car into a space outside the Sixth Form block.

  “I would give you the whole speech about today being fine and me being her if you need, but my arm’s starting to bruise!” He said teasingly, rubbing his arm where I had hit him for saying the same thing twice on the way over.

  I nodded and smiled at him as confidently as I could, and he gave me a sad smile back. Sometimes I hated how well he could see through my fake happiness. But school wasn’t forever, and I could do this.

  I got out of the car when we couldn’t waste any more time, and grabbed my bag from the back seat. Cole walked around to my side of the car and wrapped me in his arms. I felt so safe and protected with him. Hugging him closer, I closed my eyes and pretended we were back in Italy.

  Someone behind us gagged loudly. Julian. Cole’s grip tightened around me possessively as he glared at Julian, but quickly turned back to me, ignoring Julian, which seemed to make him angry.

  “I’ll meet you here at lunch and we’ll go for ice cream, yeah?” Cole said.

  My throat went dry. How could he make me feel so alive, so whole? I loved him so much.

  I grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and pulled him closer so there was absolutely no space between us. He brushed his lips against mine teasingly. Usually, I wouldn’t be comfortable kissing him in front of hundreds of people but, in that moment, I didn’t care. I crushed my lips to his.

  “Nice show,” a deep voice shouted. I jumped back, embarrassed. Kerry and Ben stood just by Cole’s car grinning at us. I immediately started blushing like crazy.

  Let’s keep kissing in private from now on.

  “Thank you,” Cole replied sarcastically.

  I left Cole and his friends when the bell rang. Taking a deep breath, I made my way to my classroom. The familiar faded, dull blue walls matched my mood. Home time couldn’t come soon enough. This morning people seemed more interested in catching up after the long summer than poking fun at me.

  It wouldn’t last.

  When I walked into my form room, the teacher was already sitting at her desk. Hannah smiled as I took my seat next to her. Everyone sat in the same seat as last year.

  Once the register was taken, we were given our timetables. I had double maths, then English and biology, and after lunch, it was double business studies. Double maths on the first day back was bloody harsh.

  I made my way to maths, this time without Hannah as she was now in a higher set to me; she was a whiz at maths. I wasn’t bad at it, but I hated it so I didn’t put much effort into the class. I sat one row from the front, next to someone new.

  He was quite petite and looked painfully shy and nervous. I smiled at him, which he returned without saying a word. I pointed to my name written neatly at the top of my notepad.

  “I’m Kyle,” he whispered. “Oakley’s a weird name.” His eyes widened. “I didn’t mean weird. I mean… unusual. Sorry.”

  Holding my hand up, I shook my head and smiled. It was kind of weird. I didn’t think it really suited me. I should have a common name that no one would bat an eyelid at.

  About five minutes into the lesson, when everyone had settled down to work out some equations to ‘get us back in the swing of things’, the door opened. Julian. He came strutting in as if he owned the bloody place.

  Great, he’s in my maths classes for the year.

  “Sorry I’m late,” he mumbled, ignoring Mr Jones grumbling about his timekeeping.

  “Julian, I saved you a seat,” Leanne whined, looking at him through her eyelashes.

  “Get back to it. All of you,” Mr Jones barked as everyone used Julian’s entrance as an excuse to start talking. Julian chuckled and sat down on the opposite side of me.

  What’s he doing? I gulped and picked an equation to start, desperate not to make any eye contact with him. He sat there to wind me up and make me feel uncomfortable. Don’t let him know it’s working.

  “Oakley,” he whispered, leaning a little closer to me. My heart beat faster in the worst way. I tilted my head so my hair fell in my face. He sighed in defeat. “Oakley… Please?”

  He actually sounded… sad? Something was going on. He had been in my company for over five minutes and hadn’t made a dig or a nasty remark.

  It’s a trap.

  I took a deep breath and forced myself to look at him. His thin lips pulled up at the sides into a real smile. A real smile for me? Why? He was acting like we were friends and he hadn’t been a bastard to me for years.

  “Look, I’m sorry, okay. Sorry about your party and everything else.” He shifted in his seat nervously. He didn’t make apologies of
ten. That much was clear from how uncomfortable he looked. “I know I’ve been a dick to you, and I don’t deserve anything, but I’d like to be friends,” he said quickly. “I really am sorry. Can you forgive me?”

  If I had been standing up, I think I would have fainted. Julian apologising and wanting to be friends. What on earth happened to him over the summer holidays to make him…nice? I wasn’t sure if I could trust him or if I even wanted him as a friend in the first place.

  He grimaced. “So, can you forget—”

  “Enough!”

  I jumped at the sound of the teacher shouting, cutting Julian off.

  “I told you I wanted silence! Detention. Both of you this lunch time.”

  Did I just get detention for talking? I stared open mouthed at him. Could he not see the irony here? The guy had been my maths teacher for the past two years so it wasn’t like he didn’t know me.

  Julian mumbled a string of swear words under his breath and started his work. This sucked so much. Detention on my first day back because of talking! Julian was an idiot. After a couple seconds, he nudged me and nodded to the paper in front of him. I reluctantly looked down to see what he’d written: SORRY.

  How about stop doing things to be sorry for? I smiled half-heartedly just to get him to leave me alone.

  At lunch, I made my way to the detention room. I didn’t even have enough time to see Cole first so he would be waiting for me by the front doors. Frowning in anger, I plopped down on the closest seat and pulled a book out of my bag.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Julian smile sheepishly from across the room. I ignored him and started to read. About ten minutes later, I saw Cole looking through the door. His face was filled with amusement.

  Oh yeah, this is hilarious!

  “I’ve just got to pop to the office for one minute. Do not move,” Mr Jones ordered in his monotone voice and left the room.

  The second the door closed, Julian got up and walked over to me. I sighed as he sat on the chair beside me. “Leanne’s having a party on Friday, you wanna go?” He asked, swinging one leg onto the table.

  No.

  He knew I was with Cole so either he was delusional or had a selective memory. “I’m trying here, Oakley.”

  That was true, and I couldn’t fault him for that. It did seem like he was trying. I just wasn’t sure if it was enough. I didn’t understand why he wanted to be friends now. I shook my head but smiled. It was so hard to act normal with him, especially after what he’d done at my party. And no matter how hard we tried to be civil, I would never forget how he had made my life hell for years.

  The door swung open, making us both jump.

  “Get lost,” Cole growled, glaring at Julian as he slipped into the room. Julian glared and stuck his middle finger up to Cole, before returning to his seat.

  “What?” Cole said innocently, surprised at my look of reproach. I rolled my eyes, smiling, and shook my head.

  “So, detention, huh?”

  “We got it for talking,” Julian interrupted.

  Cole frowned at Julian angrily. “Are you trying to be funny?”

  I grabbed his hand and shook my head.

  “Wait, you really got detention for talking?” He asked in disbelief. Then, he started laughing. I sat back in the chair with my arms crossed over my chest and waited for him to get over it.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled, shaking his head. “Just pretty ironic.”

  You’re telling me.

  Without warning, Cole leant over the table and pressed his lips to mine. Every kiss from him made me melt. He pulled away just a few seconds later and walked out of the room with the biggest, cheekiest grin I had ever seen. I couldn’t help smiling to myself.

  Thankfully, Mr Jones didn’t get back from whatever he was doing until after Cole had left. I did briefly worry that Julian would tell him, but he didn’t. He didn’t do anything actually. Just stared at his phone and frowned.

  That was fine with me.

  When detention was over, I made my way to the bench outside the front of the school to quickly eat my sandwich before afternoon classes started.

  “Oakley?” A female voice called. I looked up to see Abby jogging towards me. What on earth is she doing here? The last I had heard she was studying teaching at the University in London.

  Does Jasper know she’s back?

  “Hey.” She smiled warmly as she sat down. “Isn’t this great, I managed to get my work placement here. I’m so glad I get to see you again. I’ll be helping out in some of your English lessons so we can catch up,” she said.

  I smiled sarcastically. Did she really expect me to be happy about this? She was the reason my brother had cried. She was the reason why he couldn’t trust women anymore and behaved like an arse. I hated the bitch.

  This day just keeps getting better and better. This wasn’t even the worst part. I still had dinner with the doctor to get through yet.

  30

  Oakley