Light of Day

  My gut said yes.

  The rightness of him was all through me. Our kisses escalated, and we went to the bedroom, flopping down on his unmade bed.

  “I could drown in you,” he said against my ear.

  His shirt had come off at some point, and I marveled at his broad, muscular chest. His body was perfect, despite all of the scars. I was half afraid to touch him for fear he’d fall away from me. My hands flattened on his chest. And suddenly it was real. Jackson trusted me. He was letting me into his life and into his heart. I could see it in the way he couldn’t tear his eyes away from me, like he, too, was afraid I’d vanish.

  “You’re beautiful,” I said, rising up and kissing his neck, biting it gently.

  “You tell me when to stop,” he said, out of breath now.

  “What if I don’t?”

  He gazed down at me, a question in his eyes.

  “Yes,” I said simply, and pulled him over me.

  We stayed in each other’s arms for a long time, till the sky outside his bedroom window had fallen dark. His walls had come down, and there he was, bared to me. Laying my head against his chest, I felt as if I were in an ethereal place between earth and heaven.

  “It’s scary, feeling like this,” he said softly.

  I knew what he meant. When you love someone, you’re vulnerable. And he had done everything in his power not to be vulnerable. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  He stroked my hair. “You don’t have to promise me anything. I’m gonna take this moment and any other one you give me. I’ve learned that when you’re happy, you’ve gotta stay in it. Because we don’t know what’ll happen next. I don’t mean to sound morbid.”

  “You’re not being morbid. It’s true.”

  “I’m not sure if I’ll know how to do this, Gabby. I’ve never been a boyfriend before. You’ll have to help me get it right.”

  “So what have you been, then?”

  He shrugged. “The guy on the side. The guy who comes and goes. It never mattered until now. You’ll have to tell me how to make you happy, because I have no clue.”

  I thought about it. “Just be honest with me.”

  “That’s it? Not flowers and chocolate?”

  I looked up at him, saw the lazy smile on his face. “My last boyfriend did all that. He was constantly taking pictures of us and posting them. Making us look like the happy couple. I felt suffocated. I should’ve been honest with him a lot earlier.”

  “I’m sure you were just trying to give him a chance.”

  He was right. I hadn’t wanted to hurt JC or disappoint everyone who’d believed we were a done deal. But somehow my own needs had gotten lost. I’d put JC’s happiness, my parents’ happiness, above my own. An arrangement like that could never last.

  “The problem was, I listened to everybody’s opinion and not to my own. And when you don’t listen to your gut, nothing good can come of it. That’s what I learned.”

  “I get what you mean now, about being honest. It’s not just about being faithful. It’s being honest about who you are and what you want.”

  I smiled up at him. “You’re a quick study.”

  “I hope so.”

  CRAZY IN LOVE

  AT THE ZOMBIE CLUB MEETING the next day, I wasn’t exactly with-it. All I could think of was Jackson and the breakthrough we’d had last night.

  Just thinking of him made joy zing through me. I now knew where the expression crazy in love came from. But at the same time, being with Jackson felt anything but crazy. Being with someone I loved and admired, someone who respected me and my opinions, was the sanest thing I’d ever done.

  As I was thinking all of this, Alistair was giving us the latest zombie-sighting rundown. “There were two significant incidents in Tucson, Arizona. A puppy that was stillborn miraculously came back to life several hours later. And a man who was pronounced dead after a heart attack woke up on a slab in the morgue.” He passed around two newspaper articles.

  “That’s a happy guy,” Caro said, looking at the smiling man in the picture.

  “You’d be smiling too if you woke up minutes before your scheduled cremation,” Alistair said.

  “It’s got to be the zombie virus. Let’s keep this one.” Adriana took the article and put it in our file of zombie cases.

  It was a good thing Rory wasn’t here today, because he’d probably want to talk about his latest zombie-killing techniques. Since his premature death at ZombieMall, he was keen on improving his zombie-fighting skills.

  “I have an update,” I said. “Not zombie related. You know that guy I was upset about?”

  “Oh my God,” Caro said. She and Alistair were sitting knee-to-knee in a pew, holding hands. “He heard your show and called you?”

  I nodded. “We’re together.”

  They burst into applause. Then the questions came.

  “Now are you going to tell us his name?” Adriana demanded.

  I laughed, because it was so ironic. “Jackson.”

  I felt all warm and fuzzy saying his name. It was becoming more and more natural to think of him as Jackson. The fact was, X was never a name. Jackson felt like him.

  “What does he do? Is he a student, or does he work?” Caro wanted to know.

  “He’s an artist.” It was true, and it sounded a lot better than saying his main work was heading up a street gang.

  “Realism or abstract?” Alistair asked.

  “Urban realism,” I said, using a term Jackson had mentioned.

  “Very cool,” Adriana said. “I’m happy for you, Gabby. Now that you’re settled with the new man, maybe you could help me find one. How about putting the word out on your show? You could say: ‘I’ve got this friend. She’s got thick healthy hair and a cute little nose ring. She’s a curvy girl. Looking for a guy for fondue parties, walks on the beach, and psychic channeling.’”

  We all laughed.

  “I could do it, but it’s risky,” I said. “Some of our callers are a little loopy. I mean, creepy loopy, not cute loopy.”

  Adriana sighed. “I feel like I’m the only single person left in this world. In the event of an apocalypse, my bloodline will die out. My eggs will shrivel. I’ll have only my cats for company until they decide to turn on me.”

  “Rory’s still single,” Caro said, and Adriana shot her a look of death. Caro put up her hands. “I wasn’t saying that you two should get together, I just meant that you’re not the only single—”

  Adriana scowled. “If Rory and I were the last human male and female on earth, we still wouldn’t procreate. I’d put on one of those medieval chastity belts and pray for the plague to finish me off. Let’s face facts here. I’d rather live out an eternity in the second circle of hell than have to deal with Rory!”

  Alistair considered that. “Dante’s second circle of hell is for those led astray by their own uncontrollable lust. I think the seventh circle would be worse—that’s where the violent offenders go.”

  “The seventh circle then. You get my point.”

  “I’m on the lookout for a guy for you,” Alistair said. “There may be someone in my Young Inventors organization. I’ll keep you posted on my efforts.”

  Adriana gave a nod. “Thank you. And remember, don’t you two do a séance behind my back, okay? I’d feel so betrayed.”

  Music blared from the car’s stereo system, rattling the windows. I sat in Jackson’s car outside his brother’s group home, waiting for them to come out. I knew that for Jackson, inviting me to meet his little brother was a very big deal. Although we’d only been going out for two weeks, I saw this as a sign of his complete trust in me.

  The group home was an L-shaped house with puke-colored stucco and a red-tiled roof—the type of place that might’ve once been stylish but now looked jarring and odd. The lawn was one big flowerbed, and I couldn’t help but wonder if gardening was among the boys’ chores.

  The front door of the house opened. When Jackson walked out with a six-foot-two light-skinn
ed black guy with a fluffy Afro, I did a double take. I guess there was no need to ask if they had the same father. Despite the difference in skin color, the resemblance between them was clear. The eyes, the mouth, the way they carried themselves. It fit.

  I got out of the car. Kaden looked me over and grinned. “You’re the girlfriend, huh?”

  I liked him instantly. “Do I get a hug, or will I have to earn it?”

  He laughed. “What’s with girls and hugging?” But then he gave me one.

  I gave up shotgun and slid into the back. Jackson pulled away from the curb, and we drove toward Five Guys, Kaden’s favorite burger place.

  When we arrived, Jackson ordered enough food for four people.

  “Wait till you see my little brother eat,” Jackson warned me. “It’s epic.”

  “Group home food is shitty,” Kaden said, grabbing some fries off the tray before we’d even paid for them. “Everybody’s got their cooking night, so we mostly have pasta. It’s the only thing those idiots can cook. If I fill up tonight, it’ll help me get through the week.”

  “Sounds like the Paleo diet,” I said. “Cavemen would binge on meat and fat whenever they made a kill. Most of the time they only ate nuts and veggies.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m supplementin’ a shitload of spaghetti.”

  We sat down in a green leather booth. Kaden dove in, very much like a caveman. Jackson slid me an embarrassed look.

  “Big brother here used to cook for me growing up,” Kaden said, his mouth full of food. “He tell you that?”

  “No, he didn’t mention it.” But I had the sense that Jackson had taken care of his brother in all the ways his mother hadn’t. And still did.

  “Chili and toast was my favorite. Remember, Jackson?”

  “The chili was from a can. And I usually burned the toast. We had a piece-of-crap toaster.”

  “I still love burnt toast,” Kaden said, smiling at the memory. “I’m always setting off the smoke alarm when I make it. Usually at two a.m.”

  Kaden bit into his burger, juice dripping from the corner of his mouth. After a few bites, he said, “Thanks for taking me to the radio station. Hope you’re not gonna get in trouble.”

  “Not at all. Caballero’s going to give you a tour while I’m doing my show.”

  “DJ Caballero? Seriously?” Kaden was starstruck. “I love that guy.”

  “I do too. He’s the best. He’ll show you the equipment, anything you want to see.”

  “Cool. Will any hot chicks be there?”

  “Um, well, technically we have a hot chick at the front desk. But she was born a man.” Since I knew Sapphire was scheduled to work tonight, I figured it was best to mention it in case the Adam’s apple fazed him.

  “You got a tranny working there? What’s her name?”

  “Sapphire. And she calls herself transgendered, or trans.”

  “Don’t worry, Gabby.” He waved a hand. “I got no problem with trannies, or whatever you want me to call them. When I used to run away, they were the nicest people on the streets. They’d always offer to buy me hot dogs.” He burst out laughing. “Oh shit, don’t take that the wrong way! I really mean hot dogs. It was the only cheap, hot food you could get.”

  I couldn’t help laughing. Kaden was hilarious.

  “Now don’t be surprised if Caballero asks a lot of questions,” I said to Jackson. “He’ll want to make sure you’re a quality guy. He’s got the fatherly thing going on.”

  “Maybe it’ll prep me for meeting your parents,” Jackson said, and I caught the undercurrent. I’d mentioned to him a couple of times that he should meet them, but I hadn’t set a date. I was sure he knew why. He’d once said that my parents probably wouldn’t let him through the door, and some part of me worried it was true. Although I was getting along better with them these days, my parents still weren’t the most open people in the world. And things were going so well between Jackson and me that I didn’t want my parents to mess anything up.

  “I forgot to mention that my aunt Sarita invited us to her art show at the Orange gallery next Saturday night. What do you say?”

  “Sounds great. I’ll try to be there.”

  By now, I was used to the “I’ll try.” If he had Destinos business, it took priority. Dating the head of the Destinos definitely wasn’t easy. He was always on call, often having to run off somewhere, giving apologies but no details. That was the deal with Jackson, and I was handling it the best I could. Because being with him was worth it.

  “Aren’t you gonna invite me too?” Kaden asked, dipping multiple fries in a mountain of ketchup.

  Jackson glared at him. “Since when are you interested in art?”

  “Since never. But events like that usually have fancy hors d’oeuvres, like those little pastries with meat and cheese inside. They melt in your mouth. I crash those things all the time.”

  “Well, you’re not gonna crash this one.”

  The dynamic between them was so clear—serious older brother looking out for impulsive younger one. It didn’t surprise me, since Jackson had told me about his brother always getting into trouble. But he hadn’t mentioned how talkative and charismatic Kaden was. In the short time we’d spent together, Kaden’s charm had already won me over.

  Later on, we parked in the lot outside WKTU.

  “Hola!” Sapphire greeted us as we went in the door.

  “Hey, Sapphire. This is Jackson and his brother Kaden.”

  “So nice to meet you two!” Her eyes drifted over Jackson, and she gave me an Mmm-hmm of approval. “I hear Caballero’s giving Kaden a little tour of the place while your show is on.” She looked at Kaden. “You must’ve done something special to deserve it. He doesn’t show just anyone around. Off you go, now. Gabby, you’re on in twenty.”

  “Got it. Thanks, Sapphire.”

  We headed for the lounge. Jackson was holding my hand, and Kaden trailed behind us, checking out the celebrity photos on the wall. “Holy snap, that’s Jason Derulo!”

  “All the big hip-hop and pop artists stop in here,” I told him.

  Kaden was awed. Even Jackson looked impressed.

  I had to admit, when I’d thought of bringing Kaden to the station, I’d also liked the idea of Jackson being here. Of seeing what I do up close. Of seeing why I love it so much.

  Just before nine, I hovered in the doorway as Caballero finished his spiel.

  “Hey,” I said when he took off the headphones. “The boys are in the lounge.”

  Caballero frowned. “What boys?” Then he cracked a smile. “Just kidding. Can’t wait to show them around. And I’m gonna get to know this boyfriend of yours too. Gotta make sure he’s good enough for our Gabby.”

  We switched places and he shut the door behind me. Through the glass, I saw Sapphire in the control room, examining her fake nails.

  I cleared my throat, then started, “Miami, it’s me. Gabby Perez. Your favorite hundred-percent-real no-faker mover and shaker. I’m the brains and the brawn, the queen and the pawn. And I’m coming to you live from Miracle Mile, where the most incredible things are known to happen.

  “Let’s talk about miracles, shall we? When I came to you two Sundays ago, I was hurting. Because there was a guy I wanted to be with who’d kept the door to his heart shut. But that’s all changed now. It changed because I let him know how I felt. And he decided that opening up was worth the risk.

  “Tonight I’d love to hear from callers who’ve taken a chance on love, and had it pay off. Anyone?

  “I know I’m only eighteen. Or eighteen next month, if you want to get technical about it. But there’s something even I know at this age. It’s that loving someone is always a risk. But here’s the truth of it. If you don’t take that leap of faith, if you don’t tell them how you feel, you’ll always be alone. And you won’t ever know what it’s like to be in their arms. If you’re lucky, the gamble will pay off. That’s my wish for all of you tonight.”

  The phones lit up, and I pressed on
line one. “Hey, it’s Gabby here. Do you have a story about taking a chance on love?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.” To my surprise, the woman sounded old, like a grandmother. “My husband, Rex, and I were high school sweethearts, and married with a child before he ever told me he loved me.”

  “Really? You married him even when you weren’t sure if he loved you?”

  “Oh, I knew. I always knew, dear. But it wasn’t easy for him to say how he was feeling. Men of his generation were used to keeping their emotions inside.”

  “But you were able to open him up eventually?”

  She chuckled. “I didn’t have to, dear. The birth of our first daughter broke him wide open. That was the first time I ever saw him cry. He was overcome with love for her. After that, he wasn’t so afraid to let his emotions show.”

  “That’s a beautiful story. How many years have you been married?”

  “We were married forty-five years. He passed away last August.”

  Sadness came over me. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Thank you. Rex gave me three beautiful children, and he loved us until the end. So I say to all the young kids like you out there who are listening, love is worth it.”

  “Wow. You’ve got me choked up. Thank you for sharing your story.”

  “My pleasure, dear.”

  At that moment, I noticed that Jackson and Kaden had come into the control room. Kaden was looking down at the switchboard, fascinated, as Caballero showed him this and that, but Jackson’s eyes were focused on me. I could tell he was as moved as I was by the caller.

  “That lady’s story about love and patience speaks for itself, doesn’t it? She trusted her instincts that Rex was worth waiting for, and she never regretted it. I want to share some advice that my new man gave me. He said that when you’re happy, stay in the moment. Live it. Don’t waste it worrying what’ll come next.”

  I dared a look at Jackson. He reached up and pressed his hand against the glass. A sign of solidarity. An unspoken I love you. And it hit me that the elderly caller was right. You didn’t need to hear the words to know you were loved. You could feel it.

  After taking more calls and playing some music, I wrapped up the show and handed off to Caballero. “Thanks for showing them around.”