Cole

  “You seemed to know exactly where to lead me— to this wonderfully secluded tree. Almost as if you’ve been here quite often before,” I teased.

  “Contrary to what my backstabbing siblings may have told you, I am not an animal.” He reached up and held my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I like you a lot, Eden. And I don’t like many people. I’m not using you.”

  “No?” I lifted my face and kissed his jaw. “Because I’m totally using you for that friggin’ Harley back there.”

  “Yeah, I already figured that out. But I’m willing to accept it as long as you spend time with me.”

  I startled when a squirrel traveled across a branch overhead but was certain my nerves had more to do with the guy standing in front of me than the small woodland creature. I laughed at my silly reaction. “The wildlife in Beverly Hills is fearsome.” I glanced around. “I’m surprised there aren’t more people here.”

  “Nannies aren’t done with their chores yet. This place gets crowded later in the afternoon.”

  “Nannies? So mommies don’t come, just nannies?”

  “For the most part.”

  “And that,” I said, “is where this whole idyllic world falls apart.”

  He yanked me closer against him. “What do you mean? Are you making a social comment on my people?”

  “Your people? You make rich and snobby sound like its own culture.”

  “It sort of is.”

  “I guess. But what’s the good of coming to a park if you can’t show your mom how good you are at climbing the slide? A nanny isn’t going to give a hoot about your accomplishments.”

  “Some mothers don’t either,” he said. “So you think we’re all out of touch?”

  “Strangely enough, no. Even though you three have grown up in a magnificent house with every luxury you could wish for and a father who is supremely famous, or as my dad would say, the god of rock, Finley, Cole and you are completely down to earth. You argue just like everyone else and you watch each other’s back. Just like regular siblings. One might even say normal. Even the stuff Finley deals with is pretty common. Everyone gets anxiety. I used to panic right before tests. I used to pressure myself so much, I was certain if I got anything less than a perfect score the whole world would dissolve beneath my feet. Once I pushed myself into a major panic attack before a calculus test and was convinced I was having a stroke. So everyone deals with stress in their own way. Finley just deals badly.” I rubbed my palm along the stubble on his chin. “I guess you know she blames herself for her sister’s death.”

  “I know. It never mattered how hard we tried to convince her otherwise, she insisted she caused it.”

  “That’s a lot for anyone to swallow.”

  He grew quiet for a moment and held me against him. “For Fin, it’s not just the anxiety. She can fall pretty low sometimes. That enthusiasm she gets when she’s in a good mood can plunge into darkness in a second. That’s when I really worry about her. But I know she’s glad to have you around this summer.” He kissed me. “Hmm, I don’t think I’ve ever kissed a brainy girl. I mean calculus— damn. Hey, were you one of those school girls who wore the short plaid skirt and white blouse?”

  “Seriously, is there anything about me that says private prep school?”

  “I guess not.” His mouth brushed mine. “But you would look so fucking hot in one of those uniforms.” His long, muscular thigh pushed between my legs, and he reached up and pulled the edges of my sweatshirt so that I nearly slammed against his chest. Then his hands slid beneath my t-shirt and he caressed my skin as his mouth covered mine.

  My skin felt on fire as his kisses deepened, and his hands explored the bare skin of my back and shoulders. I leaned forward and moved against his hard thigh, gasping softly with the rhythm of his movement. My hands slid up his muscular arms and circled his neck. I felt the desperate need to hold onto him. His mouth moved down my neck and my head dropped back as his tongue flicked lightly at the hollow in the base of my throat. I shifted against him again and again, knowing full well that I was heading to a place where turning back was impossible. My hands tucked beneath his shirt, and I smoothed my palms over the muscles of his chest and abdomen. Everything about Jude made me lose control, and my hands and mouth could not get enough of him.

  His hand drifted down my waist and before I could protest, though that was unlikely now, he pressed it between my thighs. I groaned softly against his mouth as his thumb moved over the worn denim. I fought the intimacy of it for a moment, and my fingers tensed around his shoulders.

  “Damn, Valley, I need to touch all of you.” His teeth bit lightly on my bottom lip. “Just relax.” Even his whispered command sent shuddering waves of heat through me. I clung tightly to his arms as I moved against his hand until the need I’d built up deep inside sent shuddering waves through me and then exploded in every direction. My fingers dug into his hard arms, and I pressed my mouth against his chest to muffle a small cry.

  He wrapped his strong arms around me as I collapsed against him. I felt completely secure in his arms. My fingers traced along his strong jaw. “I’m feeling a bit selfish.”

  “Well, you should.”

  I looked up at him and he smiled. “I’m kidding. Watching your face through it all made it worth it.” He kissed my lips. “Made me ache for you that much more but still worth it.”

  A warm blush rose in my face, and I pressed my cheek against his chest again. “Just so you know, I’m not really the kind of girl who does stuff like that in the center of a public park.”

  “No? Why’d you do it this time?”

  “Because it was with you. And I can’t begin to tell you how much that terrifies me.”

  He took hold of my face. “Like I said before— relax, Eden.”

  Badly, I wanted to surrender my heart and soul to him, but my sensible side, a side that always reared its annoying head when I least wanted it, told me to keep my feet on the ground. “I suppose we should head back. Finley and I are going to take an excursion around the grounds.”

  He didn’t say anything, but his expression laid bare his thoughts.

  “I know it’s not much, just a few steps around the property, but for her, it’s a big deal.”

  He nodded. “It’s been good for her, but there’s so much turmoil brewing in my sister, I’m worried she just won’t be able to tamp it down. I worry that one day it’ll all come boiling out of her in one massive eruption.”

  “Then maybe these miniscule steps toward normalcy are helping her blow off some steam. Last night, Max upset her and she pouted but didn’t lose it. I’d say she handled it well. Maybe in the long run, small steps will help her cope enough to avoid any big melt down.”

  He lowered his arm around my shoulder and led me out from beneath the tree. “Let’s hope so, Eden.”

  Chapter 15

  The ride back home was equally awesome. I had not just imagined the thrill all these years, riding on a motorcycle was fun. Jude pulled my arms tighter around him and then sped up as we climbed the impossibly long driveway to the house. He stopped the bike out front and was helping me remove my helmet when the front door opened.

  Cole was standing in the doorway holding his phone. Just like the night before, when he’d knocked on the pool house door, his face showed that something was definitely not right. “How come you didn’t answer your phone?”

  Jude pointed to his bike. “Can’t really answer a phone on that thing.” He looked past Cole into the entryway, and I felt his body tense next to me. “What’s wrong? Where’s Finley?”

  Cole looked back and stepped outside. “She’s inside. Ray called. Dad collapsed during rehearsal. They’re taking him to the hospital. It might have been a heart attack.”

  “Shit.” Jude stormed up the steps and flew into the house.

>   I followed behind Cole. Jude had Finley in his arms before Cole and I had reached the room. She was crying hysterically and gasping for breath. “Purse your lips together and breathe, Fin.” He rubbed her back, but she was crying too hard to control her mouth or her breathing. “Shhh, breathe. Dad’ll be fine.”

  I grabbed a clean dish towel and wet it with cold water. I handed it to Jude and he pressed it against her forehead. Her face was bright red, and she looked close to puking.

  I leaned my face close to hers. “Finley,” I said quietly, “think about your breathing. Breathe through your nose slowly.”

  A few tense moments passed, and Finley started to relax. She was weak and barely able to stand, but her breathing had slowed and she was no longer gasping for air.

  “Ray is going to call as soon as they know something,” Cole said. “They were just finishing up with rehearsal and then Dad went pale and dropped to his knees.”

  Finley pushed her face against Jude.

  “Cole, hold off on the updates until she’s calmer,” Jude said.

  Finley pushed off his chest and shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I’m not a little kid.” Her eyes were swollen and red as she looked at Cole. “Was he in pain?” Her voice was small and faint.

  “I don’t know. Ray didn’t really say much more except that an ambulance was taking him to a hospital in Berlin.”

  Jude led his sister to the couch, and her very concerned pig sat next to her feet. She patted his head with a shaky hand.

  I wasn’t completely sure what to do. It was definitely an intimate family moment, and for the first time, I felt like an outsider. Finley looked miserable, so I did what my friendship instincts told me to do. I sat next to her and didn’t say a word. There was nothing for me to say at the moment since there was little information to go on. All I knew to do was to sit there in case she needed me. One thing was certain, her brother Jude was the person she turned to when things were really bad. And he knew exactly how to comfort her when she was distraught.

  At first, Finley had her arms wrapped around herself as if she wanted to tuck herself into a tight ball and fade into the couch. I felt unnecessary and out of place and like a paid companion who had no real purpose except to keep her from being bored while housebound. That grim realization weighed heavily on my chest. Then without warning, Finley reached over and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her to me and we both cried. Not wanting to be left out, Some Pig pushed his snout between us and snorted softly.

  Major sob session completed, Finley and I sat back and she rested her head against my shoulder.

  “Does your dad have heart problems or any health problems that you know of?” I asked. A man like Nicky King had to have the best doctors and health care coverage.

  “No, nothing,” Finley said weakly. “He even has low cholesterol for a man whose favorite breakfast is steak and eggs.”

  “He sounds low risk for a heart attack,” I said. My future dreams had always been medicine and as a result I’d done a lot of reading in medical journals. In retrospect, I really was a nerd.

  Finley held my arm tightly. “I’m sure you’re right, Eden. I’m sorry about freaking out like that.”

  I looked down at her. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’d do the same thing if it were my dad.”

  “Thanks, Eden.”

  The atmosphere in the room had mellowed some. Jude and Cole sat on the couch and waited for the phone. Once again we found ourselves staring at a blank television screen.

  Some Pig snorted twice and sat down in front of the T.V. as if he expected it to come on any second. Finley and I laughed and I realized how and why this pig was so important to Finley. He was one round, pink ball of charm.

  Jude’s phone rang and Finley tightened her grip on me. I held her just as tightly.

  Jude stood from the couch. “Hey Ray, what’s going on?” He walked into the kitchen to talk and Cole followed him.

  “Please, please, please. Let him be all right, let him be all right, let him be all right.” Finley said quietly. It hadn’t taken me long to notice that for Finley everything worked better in threes. I leaned over to the coffee table and knocked three times, something I’d seen my mom do often, only our table was plastic instead of wood.

  Jude returned to the couch looking slightly relieved. “They’re doing some more tests, but they don’t think it was his heart. Just dehydration and exhaustion.”

  Finley jumped up and threw her arms around her brothers and cried. After a short, joyful breakdown, she sat back down on the couch next to me. “I told him to take his vitamins. I’ll bet he forgot.”

  Cole popped open a soda. “Our old man is just that, old, but he’s still keeping up the same performance schedule he followed when he was twenty-five. He needs to slow it down, or the next time it’ll be worse.”

  “Then why don’t you be the one to tell him to lay off the tours,” Jude said.

  “You’re the oldest,” Cole replied.

  “Like Dad listens to me about anything. He’s usually too busy telling me what I’m doing wrong to hear any advice about his life.” It was the first time I’d heard Jude talk about his relationship with his dad and there definitely seemed to be tension between them.

  “Well, I plan on having a long chat with him when he comes home,” Finley said.

  “That’s a good idea,” Jude said, “He always takes things best coming from you.”

  “Oh shit, with all this, I completely forgot,” Finley said pulling out her phone. “Your mom wants you to call her. I’m so sorry, Eden.

  “Finley, please don’t apologize. It’s all right.”

  “Everything is fine, but I think she has some news to tell you. We had a long chat about panic attacks. Did you know she used to have them really bad when you were little? Anyhow, she told me to lay off the caffeine.” She smiled. “You’re so lucky, Eden. You have such a cool mom.”

  I took the phone from her. “You know something, Finley, I do feel lucky.” I walked out of the room and dialed our home phone.

  “Hey Mom.”

  “Eden,” she said excitedly. Janie and Sophie were in the background begging for the phone.

  “All right girls, but just for a second. I need to talk to your sister.”

  “Edie, we’re moving to the forest and there might be bears. I’m going to leave a bowl of honey for them.”

  I laughed. “What on earth are you talking about, Sophie?”

  Mom grabbed back the phone and Janie cried. “Your dad got a job as a fry cook in a small restaurant on a lake up north. It’s a little resort town.”

  “But I don’t understand,” I said. “How can he have a job so far away?”

  “We’re moving up there. The job comes with a small cabin that’s paid for, so we won’t have any rent. It was too great to pass up. Summer and winter are the busy seasons.”

  “But, Mom, what about me? Is there a city college nearby?”

  She paused. “That is the one drawback.”

  “That’s a really big drawback.”

  “We’ll figure something out.” My mom was always good at pushing away problems in hopes that they would solve themselves. But this problem wasn’t going to fix itself with time.

  “Mom, I worked really hard to get into a college, and now even junior college is going to be out of reach.” It had been a day of high emotions between fighting to keep control of my feelings for Jude and then coming home to the drama with Finley’s dad. And now with the news that my parents were moving to some small, college-free town up north, I suddenly came apart at the seams and tears flowed freely.

  “Edie, are you crying? Don’t cry, Sweetie. It’ll work itself out.”

  “Unless this town you’re moving to builds a college this summer, I don’t see how.”

&
nbsp; “Maybe with the money you make and with what your father makes, we can pool our funds and send you to live on campus somewhere.”

  “Great, I could live on campus and just not have the actual money for tuition. Never mind, Mom. When are you leaving? I want to see you guys before you go.”

  “So this summer job is working out all right? Finley sounds terrific.”

  “I really like her, and I think it’s working out fine. But it’s temporary, remember?” And then it dawned on me, eventually I’d be leaving here and Finley . . . and Jude. And now, I’d be living farther away. I wiped at my tears and sniffled loudly into the phone.

  “Oh, baby, I didn’t mean to upset you so much.” I had to cool it or she would be blubbering into the phone next and then Sophie and Janie would follow.

  “I’m fine, Mom. When should I come see you? I can take the bus.”

  “The manager at the resort wants your dad to start right away. We’re leaving the furniture because most of it is junk and the cabin is furnished. This apartment is ours until the end of the month, but we’re going to leave town next Saturday.”

  “So soon?”

  There was a long pause. “Why don’t you just quit and come with us Eden? It’s really nice up there. We miss you.”

  “I miss all of you too, but I need this job, Mom. It’s been good being out on my own.”

  “I know.” Her voice sounded shaky as if the tears had started on her end too. “You can’t blame a mom for trying.”

  “I’ve got to go, Mom. I don’t want to tie up Finley’s phone any longer. I’ll get out to see you in the next few days. Love you.”

  Cole had stretched out on the couch, and Finley was on the rug with Some Pig and the dogs. Jude was having a smoke outside.

  “Is everything all right, Eden?” Finley was as in tune with my feelings as I was with hers.