Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter

  Four days later, I received a note from Madame Mabille: Zaza was gravely ill; she had a high temperature and frightful pains in the head. The doctor had had her moved to a clinic at Saint-Cloud; she needed absolute quiet and solitude; she was not allowed to receive any visits: if her temperature did not come down, there was no hope for her.

  I went to see Pradelle. He told me all he knew. The day after my meeting with Zaza, Madame Pradelle had been alone in the flat when there came a ring at the bell; she opened the door, and found a well-dressed young lady standing there, but who wasn’t wearing a hat: in those days, this was ‘not done’. ‘Are you Jean Pradelle’s mother?’ the young woman asked. ‘May I speak to you?’ She introduced herself and Madame Pradelle asked her to come in. Zaza stared all round her; her face was white as chalk, except for the cheeks which had patches of bright red on them. ‘Isn’t Jean here?’ she asked. ‘Why isn’t he here? Has he gone to heaven already?’ Madame Pradelle, who was frightened out of her wits, told her that he would be back soon. ‘Do you hate me, Madame?’ Zaza had asked. The old lady said of course not. ‘Then why do you not want us to get married?’ Madame Pradelle did her best to calm her down; she was in a less confused state when Pradelle came in a little later, but her forehead and hands were burning. ‘I’m going to take you home,’ he told her. They took a taxi and while they were on the way to the rue de Berri, she asked him reproachfully: ‘Won’t you give me a kiss? Why have you never kissed me?’ He kissed her.

  Madame Mabille put her to bed and called the doctor; she had a long talk with Pradelle: she didn’t want to be the cause of her daughter’s unhappiness, and she was not opposed to their marriage. Madame Pradelle wasn’t against it either; she too didn’t want to cause anyone unhappiness. It would all be arranged. But Zaza had a temperature of 104° and was delirious.

  During the next four days in the clinic at Saint-Cloud she kept calling out for ‘my violin, Pradelle, Simone, champagne’. The fever did not abate. Her mother had the right to spend the final night with her. Zaza recognized her and knew then that she was going to the. ‘Don’t cry for me, Mama darling,’ she said. ‘There are outcasts in all families; I’m the outcast in ours.’

  When next I saw her, in the chapel at the clinic, she was laid on a bier surrounded by candles and flowers. She was wearing a long nightdress of rough cloth. Her hair had grown, and now hung stiffly round a yellow face that was so thin, I hardly recognized her. The hands with their long, pale fingernails were folded on the crucifix, and seemed as fragile as an ancient mummy’s. Madame Mabille was sobbing. ‘We have only been instruments in God’s hands,’ Monsieur Mabille told her.

  The doctors called it meningitis, encephalitis; no one was quite sure. Had it been a contagious disease, or an accident? Or had Zaza succumbed to exhaustion and anxiety? She has often appeared to me at night, her face all yellow under a pink sun-bonnet, and seeming to gaze reproachfully at me. We had fought together against the revolting fate that had lain ahead of us, and for a long time I believed that I had paid for my own freedom with her death.

  INDEX

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  Action Française, L’ 35, 132, 257, 275, 327

  Alain, 238, 239, 260, 292, 310

  Alcott, Louisa M., 89–91, 104–5, 140, 209

  Alix, Roland, 342

  Andersen, Hans, 51

  Aquinas, 234

  Aragon, 234

  Aristotle, 234, 337

  Arland, Marcel, 187, 196, 228

  Arlen, Michael, 325

  Aron, Raymond, 275, 339, 344

  Aulnoy, Mme d’, 51

  Avdicovitch, Stépha, 278–82, 284–9, 292–300, 301–6, 308, 313, 322, 332, 356

  Ballet, 243, 304

  Balzac, 197, 224

  Bandi, 299, 300

  Barbette, 309

  Barrés, 186, 192, 194, 230, 231, 311

  Baruzi, Jean, 262, 264, 305, 340

  Baruzi, Joseph, 264

  Bataille, 109, 144

  Baty, 298

  Beaudin, Abbé, 247

  Beauvoir grandparents, 23–4, 31–2, 41, 80, 81, 103, 317, 319–20, 326

  Beauvoir, Françoise de, passim

  Beauvoir, Gaston de, 25, 31, 32, 103, 190, 205, 213–16

  Beauvoir, Georges de, passim

  Beauvoir, Jeanne de, 23, 97, 98, 99, 175, 178, 205, 216

  Beauvoir, Marguerite de, 13, 25, 38–9, 41, 79, 89, 162, 205, 207, 215

  Beauvoir, Poupette de, passim

  Beauvoir, Simone de: fear of death, 48–9, 64, 137–8, 231; diary, 188, 207, 242, 257, 288; views on marriage, 144–6; pacifism, 238; patriotism, 26–8; religion. 9, 29–30, 41, 57–8, 73–5, 88–9, 125–6, 132, 133–9, 171, 228–9, 247, 253–4, 261; knowledge of sex, 19, 38–40, 82–8, 100–1, 109–11, 161–7, 171; early writings, 52–3, 140–2, 191–2, 208, 211, 241–2, 252, 258, 263, 264

  Bécassine, 51

  Benda, Julien, 247

  Bergson, Henri, 207–8, 234

  Bernard, Tristan, 109

  Bernstein, 109

  Bibliothèque Cardinale, 70

  Bibliothèque Nationale, 283, 304

  Blanchard, 172

  Block, Jean-Richard, 228

  Boigue, Suzanne, 224, 225, 235–6, 247, 251, 260, 274, 288, 305, 309, 332

  Boissier, Gaston, 147

  Boncour, Paul, 237

  Bourget, 32, 109

  Bouteron, Marcel, 177

  Boyer, Charles, 172

  Braque, 202

  Bréhier, 304–5

  Bresson, Riquet, 268–70, 291–3, 315, 346

  Bréville, Geneviève de, 254–5, 257–8, 355

  Brunetière, 155

  Brunschvig, 230, 234, 266, 304, 310, 311, 344

  Caillaux, 65

  Callavet, 35, 109

  Candide, 237

  Capus, 35, 109

  Cauterets, 205

  Cervantes, 304

  Cézanne, 298, 309

  Chadourne, Marc, Vasco, 263

  Chantepleure, Guy, 89

  Chaplin, Charles, 53, 241, 264

  Châteauvillain, 146, 185

  Chekhov, 304

  Chevalier, Maurice, 264

  Ciné-Latin, 241, 287

  Cinema, 53–4, 241, 287–8, 304

  Clair, René, 202

  Clairaut, Pierre, 275, 281, 286–92, 297, 305, 309–12, 318–22, 327–9

  Claudel, 186, 194, 195, 240, 246, 253, 290

  Cocteau, Jean, 185–6, 202, 203, 243, 309, 310, 321–2

  Colette, 109, 155, 176

  Collège Stanislas, 32, 121, 177, 199

  Colline, 160

  Combes, Émile, 35

  Comèdia, 35

  Cooper, Fennimore, 81

  Copeau, 172

  Coppée, François, 178

  Corneille, 112

  Cours Désir (Institut Adeline Désir), 21–2, 28–9, 42, 59, 67–8, 70, 93, 95, 99, 106, 112, 116, 122, 123–4, 150–1, 155, 161, 184, 251, 263

  Cours Valton, 199

  Damia, 243, 320

  Daniélou, Jean, 327

  Daniélou, Mme, 168, 223

  Daudet, Alphonse, 32, 109, 172

  Daudet, Léon, 35, 257

  Daumal, René, 262

  Démocratie Nouvęlle, La, 132

  Descartes, 223

  Dickens, Charles, 130–1, 172

  Divonne-les-Bains, 25, 34–5

  Dostoyevsky, 195

  Dreyfus, 35, 178

  Du Bos, Charles, 321

  Du Moulins de Labarthète family, 256–7, 278, 282

  Dulac, Germaine, 304

  Dullin, Charles, 172, 202, 203, 241, 298

  Dumas, Georges, 261–2

  Duncan, Isadora, 319

  École des Chartes, 159

  École Normale, 245–6, 262, 287, 309, 335

  Eliot, George, 110–11, 140, 209, 323

  Équipes Sociales, 173, 2
24–5

  Esprit, L’ 236

  Europe, 237

  Faguet, 155

  Fairbanks, Douglas, 288

  Fargue, 266

  Farrère, 109

  Fayet, Mile, 21, 22, 68

  Fernandez, Ramon, 196

  Fernando, 285, 289, 292, 295, 297–9, 306, 308, 332

  Flers, 35,109

  Fleuriot, Zénaïde, 50, 55

  Foch, Marshal, 71

  Foggezzaro, Daniel Corthis, 143

  Fort, Paul, Charles VI, 152–3

  Fouillée, The Power of Ideas, 157

  Foujita, 214

  Fournier, Alain, 185, 186, 196, 201, 221, 222, 225, 234, 252, 263, 289, 294, 323, 339

  France, Anatole, 107, 135, 189, 195

  Friedmann, 236, 237

  Fumet, Stanislas, 195

  Funck-Brentano, 128

  Gabriello, 35

  Gantillon, Départs, 298

  Garric, Robert, 168, 173, 179–81, 183, 184–5, 197, 198, 200, 204–6, 208, 210, 224, 225, 227, 327, 344

  Gaulois, Le, 98

  Gégé, 306–7, 314–15, 320

  Gendron, Anne-Marie, 123, 148

  Gendron, Clotilde, 148, 149, 156

  Germaine, Aunt, 146, 166, 199, 201, 213, 215, 268–9, 269, 288, 348

  Gide, André, 183, 186, 190, 194, 195–6, 217, 230, 244, 281, 292, 308

  Giraudoux, 187, 292, 302

  Gobineau, 36, 130

  Goethe, 205, 304, 308

  Goncourt brothers, 109, 155

  Gontran, Mlle, 65, 124, 150, 229

  Grand Jeu, Le, 262

  Greek, 178, 240, 245

  Grimm brothers, 51

  Guéhenno, 327

  Guérin, Eugénie de, 142

  Guitry, Sacha, 35, 109

  Hamelin, 234

  Hegel, 230

  Heine, 232

  Hélène, Aunt, 24, 26, 31, 67, 77, 78, 85, 86–7, 164, 267

  Helm, Brigitte, 287

  Herbaud, André, 310–15, 318, 319–25, 328, 329, 331, 332, 334–40, 345

  Hippolyte, Jean, 295

  Hugo, Victor, 36, 106–7, 122, 197, 224

  Humanité, 239

  Hume, 305, 310

  Hylton, Jack, 336

  Ibsen, Henrik, 172

  Institut Catholique, 168, 173, 186

  Institut Sainte-Marie, 173, 179, 204, 235, 259, 262

  Ivoi, Paul d’, 51

  Jacob, Max, 202, 226

  Jammes, Francis, 186, 202, 225, 245, 258, 290

  Jarry, Ubu-Roi, 246

  Jolson, Al, 304

  Jouvet, 172, 241, 277

  Joyce, James, 266

  Kant, 207, 217, 223, 257, 305, 310, 314, 321

  Keaton, Buster, 288, 337

  La Grillière, 23–4, 25–6, 59–60, 67, 76–80, 85, 126, 129, 164, 207, 267

  La Rochefoucauld, 112

  Laforgue, 202, 232, 258

  Lagache, Daniel, 275

  Lagneau, 242

  Lahr, Père, 157

  Laiguillon, Ernest, 199

  Laiguillon, Germaine. See Germaine, Aunt

  Laiguillon, Jacques, 60–1, 121, 147–349 passim.

  Laiguillon, Titite, 60, 121, 146–7, 163, 199, 201, 203, 215, 277, 348

  Lalande, 322, 329

  Lambert, Mlle, 168, 173, 183, 185, 204, 222–4, 226, 228, 229, 245, 247, 251, 259–62, 267–8, 288, 332

  Lanson, Histoire de la littérature française, 36

  Laporte, 296, 304–5

  Larbaud, 187

  Latin, 179, 204

  Laubardon, 167, 254–9, 276

  Laurie, André, 51, 113

  Law, 168

  Layton and Johnstone, 314, 336

  Lebon, Gustave, 157

  Lefebvre, Henri, 236

  Lehmann, Rosamund, Dusty Answer, 357

  Leibniz, 235, 266, 268, 270, 279, 334—5, 336

  Lejeune, Mlle, 122–4, 150, 154, 159, 163, 168

  Lemaître, Jules, 155

  Lenôtre, 128

  Lévi-Strauss, 294

  Lili, Aunt, 9–11,13, 37, 52, 63, 64, 84, 89, 102

  Louise, 5, 6, 8, 9, 11–13, 15, 16, 18–19, 21, 25, 29, 30, 37, 42, 63, 64, 84, 97, 131

  Lourdes, 206–7

  Ludwig, Emil, 308

  Mabille, Elizabeth, 91–360 passim

  Mabille, Guite, 92–3, 114–17, 120, 145, 152, 161–2, 222, 240, 249–50, 254–7, 260, 276–7, 284, 287, 289, 301–3, 330, 332–4, 353, 357, 358, 359, 360

  Mabille, Lili, 115, 116, 149, 163, 222, 255–7, 278–9, 303, 304, 309, 332, 333–4, 353

  Mabille, Monsieur, 92, 114–17, 133, 145, 150, 168, 204, 221, 256, 360

  Mabille, Thćrèse, 167–8, 173, 182, 197

  Madeleine (cousin), 24, 60, 78–9, 85–7, 89, 90, 99, 101, 109, 129, 162, 164–6, 271, 317

  Madelin, 128

  Magda, 268, 316, 346

  Mallarmé, 121, 202

  Mallet, Jean, 238, 243–4, 260, 288, 292, 299, 305, 311, 320

  Malot, Hector, Sans Famille, 51, 130–1

  Malraux, André, 223

  Malvy, 65

  Manet, 309

  Marcel, Gabriel, 321

  Marguerite, Victor, 178

  Maritain, 234

  Martin, Abbé, 29, 58, 73, 88, 134–5

  Marx, 230

  Massis, 204

  Mathematics, 150, 160, 168, 173, 178, 204

  Matin, Le, 35

  Matisse, 202

  Maupassant, Guy de, 32, 109, 189

  Maurey, Max, Le Pharmacien, 107

  Mauriac, 187, 219, 230, 240, 254, 290, 309

  Maurice, Uncle, 24, 66–7, 78, 85,164

  Maurras, Charles, 35, 184, 257, 288, 298

  Maxence, 327

  Meredith, George, 294

  Merleau-Ponty, 294

  Meulan, 148

  Meyrignac, 24, 25–6, 32, 79–82, 103, 124–6, 206–8, 216, 251, 317, 319, 345

  Miller, Hans, 302, 303

  Mirande, 190

  Mohrange, 236

  Monet, 309

  Monnier, Adrienne, 186, 222, 266

  Montaigne, 120

  Montalembert, 258

  Montherlant, 186

  Morlay, Gaby, 172

  Musset, Alfred de, 109

  Nietzsche, 284

  Nizan, 290, 309–12, 321, 325, 328, 331, 334–9, 344

  Noailles, Mme de, 231

  Nodier, Pierre, 236, 237, 344

  Noël-Noël, 160–1

  Nouvelles Littéraires, Les, 290, 342

  Nouvelle Revue Française, 196, 228, 229, 290, 321

  Ollé-Laprune, Moral Certainty, 157

  Painting, 241, 309

  Péguy, 183, 196

  Perrault, Charles, 50–1

  Petite Illustration, La, 109

  Philosophy, 157–60, 222–3, 234, 242, 244–6, 304–6

  Picasso, 202

  Pitoëff, 172, 241

  Plato, 234

  Podrecca, 299

  Poincaré, Henri, 158, 196

  Politics, 129–30, 133, 236–9

  Politzer, 236, 237, 339, 344

  Pradelle, Jean, 245–359 passim.

  Pradelle, Mme, 359

  Prévost, Jean, 196, 266

  Prévost, Marcel, 32, 109

  Prokofieff, 243

  Proust, 187, 190, 246, 281

  Quermadec, Lisa, 262–3, 275, 285, 287, 292, 296–7, 306, 308, 320, 321, 326–7, 328

  Racine, 112

  Radiguet, 187, 258

  Rether, Antoine, 166

  Renan, 35

  Renoir, 309

  Revue des Deux Mondes, 258

  Revue des Jeunes, 183

  Riaucourt, Lucien, 103, 234, 268, 293, 315

  Riaucourt, Odile, 346, 348

  Ribot, Attention, 157

  Riesmann, Michel, 244–5, 246, 251, 260, 264, 288, 314, 332, 340

  Rigadin, 25

  Rivière, Jacques, 202, 222, 263, 339

  Robert (cousin), 24, 78, 79, 164, 165

  Rodrigues, 294

  Rolland, Romain,
238

  Romains, Jules, 290

  Rostand, Edmond, 35, 36, 71, 109, 121

  Roulin, Abbé, 139–40

  Rousseau, 335

  Sacco and Vanzetti, 238

  Sangnier, Marc, 132

  Sanson, Father, 194–5

  Sarment, Jean, 317

  Sartre, Jean-Paul, 275, 309–12, 319, 321, 328, 331, 332, 334, 335–6, 337–45

  Sauguet, 243

  Schmid, Canon, 51, 54, 109

  Schopenhauer, 231, 234

  Ségur, Mme de, 19, 50, 55, 82, 105

  Sertilanges, Père, Intellectual Life, 157

  Sillon, Le, 133

  Simon, Michel, 241

  Simone, 176

  Simone, Aunt, 163

  Sirmione family, 15–17, 35

  Sorel, Cécile, 71

  Soupault, Philippe, 263

  Soutine, 298

  Spinoza, 223, 305, 343

  Staël, Mme de, 298

  Stendhal, 311, 314, 343, 358

  Stravinsky, 243, 263

  Strindberg, 304

  Strowski, Fortunat, 173

  Studio des Ursulines, 202, 241, 287

  Studio 28, 287

  Sudermann, 301

  Swetchine, Mme, 148

  Swift, Gulliver’s Travels, 60

  Sylla, 311

  Taine, 36

  Tessier, Valentine, 314

  Theatre, 33, 34–5, 53, 54, 71, 152–3, 160–1, 177, 241, 264, 271, 288

  Théricourt, Marguerite de, 102–3, 148, 156, 163–4

  Tinayre, Marcelle, 144, 183

  Töpffer, 51

  Trécourt, Abbé, 150, 153–4, 157, 158–9, 160, 174, 223

  Tucker, Sophie, 335–6

  Utrillo, 314

  Vailland, 262

  Valéry, Paul, 186, 194, 230

  Vaulabelle, Two Restorations, 133, 229

  Vautel, Clément, 35

  Verhaeren, 245

  Verne, Jules, 51

  Veuillot, Louis, 116, 258

  Vieux-Colombier, 241

  Voltaire, 122

  Weil, Simone, 239, 245

  Weiss, Blanchette, 239–40, 244–5, 251, 265, 322

  Wilson, Woodrow, 128

  Yver, Colette, 104, 176

  Zanta, Mlle, 160, 188

  Zaza. See Mabille, Elizabeth

  Zola, Émile, 107

  Zweig, Stefan, 304

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  French Existentialist philosopher, novelist, essayist, editor, and groundbreaking feminist SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR was born in Paris, where she lived most of her life. She was the author of the feminist classic The Second Sex, several volumes of autobiography, and highly acclaimed novels, including The Mandarins, winner of the Prix Goncourt.

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  CREDITS

  Cover design by Mary Schuck