Susannah's Garden

  Susannah suspected he was right.

  CHAPTER 3

  Chrissie Nelson shoved the last of her clothes into her suitcase and looked anxiously out her dorm room window. Jason was late. He’d promised to be here by ten to take her to the airport. School was over and the dorm was mostly deserted. She’d be flying out of Eugene, where she attended the University of Oregon, to Seattle for the summer. The end of the school year didn’t thrill her, mostly because she’d be leaving Jason behind. She wasn’t like some of her friends, eager to return home. In fact, Chrissie dreaded the emptiness that lay ahead.

  Pushing her long straight blond hair over her shoulder, she suppressed a deep sigh. Her roommate, Katie Robertson, had left the night before, and so had several of her other friends. Jason had driven Katie to the airport, but Chrissie’s flight wasn’t until today. He’d stopped by the dorm after he’d dropped Katie off; he and Chrissie had gone out for a farewell drink and he’d promised to meet her in plenty of time for her 11:30 flight. When he’d picked Katie up, he’d arrived with two hours to spare—and he’d waited with her at the airport. Chrissie had a niggling sensation that he’d been more solicitous than necessary….

  That made it sound as if she was jealous and she wasn’t. Jason had never given Chrissie the slightest reason to doubt his devotion. He was simply thoughtful. Latching her suitcase closed, she grunted as she lifted it off the mattress with both hands and set it on the floor.

  The problem with going home for the summer was that she didn’t have a job. And at this late date, the prospects of decent employment were slim to none.

  She was almost twenty and still tied to her parents. Chrissie hated that. The idea of being at home for the next eight or ten weeks—and dependent on her parents for spending money—depressed her. She preferred to stay in Eugene, but her part-time job on campus had ended with the semester. Next year everything would be different; Chrissie intended to make sure of that. This would be her last summer in Seattle. She was an adult, and she wanted to live her own life.

  As soon as she got home, she planned to tell her parents that she was moving out of the dorm. Two other girls had invited her to live off-campus with them in a small house. They’d divide the rent, and it would be much cheaper than living at the university for a third year. It would be a good experience, she’d tell her parents, plus it would save them money. She was perfectly capable of managing on her own. Her father would listen to reason, but she wasn’t sure she could count on her mother.

  Jason’s Honda Civic pulled up to the curb. Chrissie leaned out the window and waved. He climbed out of his car, glanced up and smiled, then waved back. “I’ll be right there,” he called.

  That was typical of Jason—always considerate. She felt fortunate to be with him. They’d met on a blind date and he’d impressed her the moment they began to talk. They had a lot in common, but that didn’t mean they were alike. Far from it. Jason, a law student specializing in accounting law, was about as conservative as they came. His grades were high and his work habits disciplined and methodical. Chrissie, on the other hand, was carefree and fun-loving, and something of a procrastinator. The problem, she’d decided, was that she worked best under pressure. Term papers were written the night before they were due. What other people failed to understand, she often explained righteously, was that she’d been thinking about the subject for weeks, gathering the needed data. Starting it early wouldn’t have improved the end product.

  Jason never left anything to the last minute and her delay tactics exasperated him. Still, they were crazy about each other. He did occasionally try to change her ways—and vice versa. At least he didn’t constantly complain about her study habits like her parents did. Her grades weren’t any worse in college than they’d been in high school. Okay, they weren’t great but she never got less than a C. The major reason she’d decided on college was because all her friends were going. Everyone just expected her to continue her education, and she hadn’t come up with anything she’d rather do.

  She stayed more because of the social life than the academics—the parties and the boys. Jason, with his wide muscular shoulders, could have been a football player, but sports were of little interest to him. He dressed for class as if he were going into an office, wearing sweaters and slacks in the winter and short-sleeve shirts and Dockers in the summer. His hair was conservatively cut, above the ear. Basically, he was every mother’s dream. Her dream, too, although she would never have expected to fall for a guy like him.

  On that first date with Jason, she’d tried to find the beast within, striving to break through his proprieties, with limited success. She was convinced there was a bad boy inside him waiting to emerge and Chrissie wanted to find him. Jason certainly didn’t object, and while they were different they were also good together. He appreciated her spontaneity and lightheartedness. She liked the fact that he was reliable and thoughtful. And although they might argue about everything from politics to movies, they had an enjoyable time making up afterward.

  Needless to say, her parents were thrilled with him, and who wouldn’t be? He was as close to perfect a boyfriend for their daughter as they could hope for. She and Jason hadn’t talked about marriage yet, but it wouldn’t surprise her if he gave her an engagement ring at Christmas.

  Jason came into her room and heaved the heavy suitcase into his arms. Grunting and panting, he maneuvered it down the stairs—no elevator in her building—while she carried her backpack and purse.

  When they reached the bottom, Chrissie cast him a woebegone look. “I wish I didn’t have to leave.”

  “It’ll be fine,” he said without meeting her eyes. But that could’ve been because he was busy hoisting the suitcase into his trunk.

  Still, his offhand remark startled her. “It will?” She found that hard to believe.

  “I’ll miss you like crazy, but before we know it you’ll be back.”

  His cavalier attitude was completely unexpected. She wanted him to feel as bereft as she did; obviously he didn’t. Eyeing him closely, she wondered if she was reading more into his comment than warranted. She didn’t want to sound like a whiny ten-year-old, but she was taken aback by his response.

  She decided not to overreact. “You’re right, of course. Besides, I can come and visit you over the Fourth of July.”

  “You can?”

  “Sure, why not?” she asked.

  “Don’t you want to save your money for school?”

  She shrugged, as if financial concerns were of little significance. She’d assumed he’d leap at the suggestion. Apparently not. A moment later, Jason took Chrissie by the shoulders and astonished her by kissing her long and hard. Normally, he frowned on public displays of affection, but today nothing about him was the same. She reveled in his moist lips molding to hers as he held her close. “Next summer…” she whispered.

  “Next summer?”

  “I’ll find a way to stay in Oregon.”

  “Good.” With that, he placed her backpack carefully beside the heavy bag and shut the trunk.

  “First things first,” she said as Jason opened the passenger door.

  He hesitated, looking puzzled.

  “I have to convince my mother to let me move out of the dorm before I talk to her about staying in Eugene next summer,” she elaborated.

  “You really have a thing about your mother, don’t you?”

  “What do you mean?” Chrissie flared.

  “You always seem worried about what she’s going to say.”

  His observation irritated her. “That’s not true.” She didn’t want to argue, but he’d totally missed the point.

  “You just said you had to get your mother to agree that you can rent with Joan and Katie,” he murmured. “For the last week, ever since final exams, you’ve been complaining about going home and having to deal with her. Not once did you mention your dad.”

  “My father is the more reasonable of the two.” She was furious that Jason would even suggest she h
ad a problem with her mother.

  “From what I understand, it’s fairly common, you know? Mother-daughter conflict, I mean.”

  “Really?” Chrissie said coldly as she climbed into the passenger seat and without waiting closed the door. She fastened the seat belt while Jason walked around to the other side of the vehicle.

  “You and your mother seem to have these underlying issues,” he said when he got into the car. He inserted the key into the ignition.

  She stared at him, annoyed that he was pursuing the subject. “Are you trying to start a fight?” she asked, refusing to be drawn into one.

  Jason turned to her, then gradually smiled. “Not really. Are you?”

  “No.”

  “Good.” He pulled away from the curb.

  “You don’t act as if you’re going to miss me all that much,” she said, and immediately wanted to swallow her words. They made her seem insecure and she wasn’t.

  “What makes you say that?”

  “Nothing.” She shook her head.

  “Is it because I didn’t encourage you to fly down for the Fourth of July? If so, the reason—aside from not wanting you to spend the airfare—is that I already have plans.”

  “You do?”

  “My parents asked me to visit them and I said I would.”

  It didn’t escape Chrissie’s notice that he didn’t invite her to join him and his family.

  “Are you glad I’m leaving Eugene?” she asked. She knew he’d be staying; he was fortunate enough to have a full-time summer job with a big law firm. His family lived in Grants Pass, a couple of hours away.

  Jason sighed as if she were behaving like a difficult child. “Forget I asked,” she snapped. “It was a stupid question.”

  “Yes, it was,” Jason said. He gripped the steering wheel with both hands. “Why are you being so sensitive?”

  He was right; she was overreacting, even though she’d vowed not to. “Maybe I don’t want to go back to Seattle for the summer. Maybe I’d rather be here with you instead of trapped in a house with my mother for the next ten weeks.” The moment she mentioned her mother, Chrissie realized she’d said the wrong thing.

  “Why don’t you talk to her, then?”

  “About what? My relationship with her? My mother’s so caught up in her own world that she can’t be bothered with me.”

  Jason stopped at a traffic signal. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

  “How would you know? You only met her once.” Chrissie had brought Jason home at Easter and he’d spent three days with her family. The visit had been a success on all counts.

  As they’d pulled out of the family driveway, Chrissie had basked in her parents’ approval. Both of them had liked Jason immensely.

  “You have wonderful parents, Chrissie,” he said now.

  “Yes—but my mother’s going to make my life hell this summer. She’s upset with me for not having a job, although she’d never come right out and say so. Instead, she’ll find a hundred different things to criticize.”

  “I thought you were going to look for a job over spring break,” Jason reminded her.

  “I was, but I got busy—the time just slipped away. Don’t you start on me, too.”

  “Chrissie…”

  “You have no idea what this summer’s going to be like.”

  “Oh, come on, Chrissie. It’s not—”

  “Let me give you an example,” she broke in, “and this is based on experience. Mom will ask me to clean the bathroom and I will. Then she’ll come in after me and scrub the sink all over again. This is her way of letting me know that I didn’t meet her high standards.” The summer stretched before Chrissie like one long exercise in tolerance and patience. “If she didn’t like how I cleaned the sink, you’d think she’d just say so, but oh, no, not my mother.”

  Jason muttered something noncommittal.

  “Brian has a job,” she continued. “Mom’s already mentioned that fact about fifty times. He’s working for a construction company.”

  “You’re making too much of this.”

  “I don’t think so,” Chrissie muttered. “What she’s really saying is that if I’d looked for a job like she wanted me to over spring break, I’d have one waiting for me now.” She could imagine the constant barrage of digs that lay in store for her. Her mother couldn’t bear the thought of Chrissie being idle all summer, so she’d threaten to line up babysitting jobs for her. Babysitting at almost twenty? In Chrissie’s opinion, that was cruel and unusual punishment.

  “She seems to believe that finding temporary employment is easy. I suppose I could get a job at a fast-food place, but even those aren’t as available as they used to be. Besides, I don’t want to spend my summer asking someone if they want fries with that.”

  “Well…” He clearly wasn’t interested in arguing with her.

  “As a last resort, my dad will leap to the rescue and offer me a pity job.”

  “A what?”

  “He’ll bring me to his office and I’ll be reduced to doing menial tasks, for which he’ll pay me minimum wage.” She sighed. “It’s going to be a dreadful summer. I can tell.”

  “It’ll be fine,” Jason countered absently.

  Chrissie doubted he’d even heard her. His mind certainly wasn’t on her; that much was apparent. She looked at him and frowned, unsure what to think. Something had changed between them. She could feel it—had felt it from the moment he arrived. Jason had never been late before.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked, then added, “Between us, I mean.”

  He glanced at her and shrugged. “Sure. Why shouldn’t it be?”

  Instinct said otherwise. “You drove Katie to the airport last night, didn’t you?”

  “You know I did.”

  Chrissie noticed that his hand tightened around the steering wheel. What had happened between him and Katie the night before? She didn’t mention how long he’d spent at the airport. Originally she was supposed to tag along, but Katie had a lot of stuff and it would’ve been a tight fit in a small car, so she’d stayed behind. That, apparently, had been a mistake.

  Nothing had happened, she told herself. Chrissie couldn’t believe Jason would do that to her. Besides, Katie was one of her best friends. They planned on renting a house together in a few months. The last thing Katie would do was steal Jason away from her.

  No, neither of them would betray her, Chrissie thought firmly.

  The rest of the drive was completed in an uncomfortable silence.

  Jason drove up to the curb at the airport and Chrissie climbed out as soon as he came to a stop. Without a word, Jason jumped out and opened the trunk, heaving her suitcase onto the ground.

  “The summer will go fast,” he said with false cheerfulness. “You’ll be back here in no time.”

  “Right,” she agreed with the same fake exuberance. “No time at all.”

  Jason nodded. “I’ll call you soon.”

  She nodded, too, and dragged her bag onto the sidewalk. “I guess I’d better get inside.”

  “Have a great summer.”

  She tried to smile. “You, too.”

  He leaned forward and kissed her, but it fell short of just about every other kiss they’d exchanged. She was afraid she was losing Jason and it broke her heart.

  CHAPTER 4

  Susannah wasn’t looking forward to this trip back to Colville. The eastern Washington community was like small towns all over the country. Her eyes went immediately to the town clock, which featured a statue of a frontiersman, as she drove through the city center. Colville with its JCPenney store on Main Street was the big city to many of the smaller communities surrounding it. There was a traffic roundabout now, but while she was growing up, Colville had the only traffic light in Stevens County.

  It was small-town America at its best.

  And its worst.

  The drive took seven hours with a brief lunch break. As Susannah rolled into the outskirts of town, her tension grew. She
turned the music up louder, trying to lose herself in the insistent beat of the Rolling Stones. The first building she passed was the Burger King restaurant, which had closed its doors. It was probably the only franchise in the entire chain to go out of business. The bowling alley came next. The sign out front listed the special of the day as a breakfast of two eggs, toast and coffee for $2.99—up from the $1.99 of her childhood. That had been the special for as long as Susannah could remember.

  She drove past Colville Mortuary, which had once been owned by her uncle Henry, who was long dead now. Susannah had grown up with hordes of cousins, none of whom had settled in the area. They, too, had no reason to stay in Colville.

  As she continued down Main Street, she felt a growing sense of dread. Getting her mother into an assisted-living complex wasn’t a prospect she relished. This anxiety, however, resulted from more than the difficult task that awaited her. When Susannah left Colville for college, she’d never looked back. Oh, she’d returned any number of times over the years, but whenever she did, the familiar depression returned, too. Part of that had to do with her brother’s death; he was killed in a car accident the year she turned eighteen. She was in a French boarding school at the time, and her father’s phone call had come in the middle of the day. A call from America was sure to be bad news. And it was. It’d been the worst news of her life. Her brother, older by three years, had died in a crash on a notoriously bad curve just outside Colville.

  Susannah’s world changed forever that day. If her brother’s death wasn’t devastating enough, her father had refused to fly her home for the funeral. She never forgave him for that. He’d been the one who insisted on shipping her off to France in the first place. Then, while she was so far from home, her whole life had collapsed. Susannah was never the same afterward. Her parents had never recovered, either.

  It seemed to her that whatever happiness her parents had shared vanished after Doug died. Joy fled from their lives, leaving their marriage stark and empty. That was Susannah’s perception, although her mother had a different version of events, a version Susannah considered a case of denial. But then, how could Vivian have stayed with her husband if she’d been honest about her unhappiness—and his role in it?