Beneath the Veil

  I did, and mixed it with some wine. He drank it down as he stared out the window. From this height, it was easy enough to look down into the fight field or over the wall into the street beyond. The lamps had been hung with tassels of silver and blue to celebrate the Feast of Sinder.

  "Times are changing, Aeris."

  "I know they are, my prince."

  He winced, as though pain stabbed him, then relaxed. "Tomorrow I try again to plant my seed."

  Something about the way he said it made me step closer to him. "I don't understand why the prospect seems to distress you so much, Daelyn."

  "You mean after last night?" He shrugged. "Because I enjoy making love to women, you think seeking to plant seed in one should be no great effort for me?"

  "Well...yes."

  He scoffed. "What I do for my own pleasure is far different than what I am required to do to further the Avigdor name. There is ritual and protocol to follow. The women they bring me have no interest in me as a lover. They are no better than brood cattle whose sole purpose is to provide me with heirs. There is no joy in our coupling. It's disgraceful and mortifying, and I loathe it. Besides, it should be clear enough to you by now that I will never spawn a child, male or otherwise."

  "You can't know –"

  His expression stopped me. "I know, Aeris."

  "What will you do?"

  He shook his head. "I'd been prepared to accept the fact I would never..." his voice faltered for a moment in a rare show of emotion. He cleared his throat and lifted his chin. "I would never hold a babe of mine own. I accepted that. I was prepared to live my life as Prince Regent, and not King. And in a perfect world, Aeris, that would have been enough. Lord Rosten is making that impossible."

  "You don't care to keep your family in power?"

  He laughed somewhat cruelly and made a face. "In a place where women are so mistreated? I’m ashamed to have been part of that. Ashamed of the name I share with generations of men who believed what hung between their legs entitled them to act like gods. No. I don't care if my name continues. I do care that men like Rosten seek to replace me."

  "You're putting up those posters." I sat next to him on the windowsill and shivered at the feel of the cold glass against my back. "And the three women. You arranged their escape?"

  A smile touched his lips. "It's better you don't know so much."

  "You trust me with your hair and your cosmetics and your clothes." I couldn't keep the bitterness from my voice. "You trust me with your messes, but not your secrets."

  His blue eyes grew steely. "How many times already have you judged me only to learn you were wrong?"

  I strode across the room. I'd seen him committing the crime of love of women, something that would get an average citizen tortured and the women killed. I held the power of my knowledge in my fists, and still he would not soften to me.

  "I know I am only your fetchencarry. Even though you chose me, and not I you, I've done my best to please you. Don't I please you, Daelyn?"

  He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me. "You please me very well."

  I didn't want to cry in front of him. I didn't want my heart to break because he wouldn't grant me the key to his mystery. I didn't want to go to my knees in front of him.

  But I did.

  He put a hand on the top of my head, but said nothing while my shoulders shook with sobs. His fingers stroked my hair, the way my mother used to when I was small, before I was too old to be her baby and had to become her son.

  "Do you love me at all?" The question came out a broken whisper. I bit my tongue as the words leaked from my lips. I didn't want to speak them aloud but felt powerless not to.

  His voice was gentle. "I care for you more than you can possibly know. Which is why I don't want to see you hurt."

  It wasn't enough. I sank lower for a moment, until my head hit the chilly stone floor. I was ashamed and shameless when at last I looked at him with eyes wet from weeping.

  "I would give you everything," I whispered.

  "I know you would, love." Daelyn touched my cheek. "And that's exactly why I won't take it."

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  I attended him at court that day. I kept my station at his side or behind him, and I made certain his cup was always filled and his plate never empty. I hated feeling adrift. Desperate. Lovesick and heartsick at the same time, and all for an impossible dream. I knew it. That knowledge helped me dry my eyes and straighten my back. But knowing it did not take away the pain in my heart.

  My fragile temper came tumbling down around me when Vermonte "accidentally" spilled a full cup of wine over my tunic. I could only stare down at the stained fabric, my body frozen with indecision. His laughter sent me over the edge. His mocking, snide laughter, and his comment to Daelyn that "'tis a wonder the oaf can walk upright without tripping himself."

  I punched him in the face. The crunch of his nose was satisfying, the blood on my fist even more. The look of surprise on his face was the most priceless of all.

  He was on me before I even had time to jump off the dais. Vermonte grabbed my braid and yanked me forward. I stopped my movement with a solidly placed leg, one of the positions of the Art Lir had taught me so well. I kept my head low, then twisted my body to end up on Vermonte's other side, where I punched him again even though he still held fast my hair.

  "Enough!"

  I heard Daelyn's cry, but for the first time since entering his service, I ignored him. I punched Vermonte again. The entire room had stopped to watch us, but I didn't care. I didn't care that I was breaking every rule of fair fighting, or that my prince was screaming in my ear to lay off his lordling. I didn't even care that Vermonte had ripped the sleeve off my tunic, or that he'd torn out a clump of my hair from the roots.

  I only cared about beating him.

  It was Lir who pulled me off Vermonte, and Lir who twisted my arm up behind my back and marched me out of the room and into the corridor. I slumped against the wall, breathing hard, still furious, while he went back inside and slammed the double doors in my face to shut me out.

  After a moment, he returned. "Are you insane?"

  "He insulted me." Blood clogged my mouth and choked me.

  "You insulted yourself with that behavior. What did I tell you about the Art?"

  "You also told me I could beat him."

  Lir shook his head and handed me a handkerchief to wipe my mouth. "I didn't mean for you to do it in the middle of Dae's court. He's livid."

  "I don't care." I spat the lie. "He can dismiss me if he likes. He doesn't care for me, anyway."

  I looked up to see a look of such naked distress in Lir's eyes, I stopped. "Lir?"

  He swallowed and swiped his lips with his tongue. His tone was light, but it sounded forced. "He cares for you. I'm sure he does. And you..."

  "I love him," I muttered miserably. "Just like you do, but at least you have his respect and love in return."

  "Love him. Yes." Lir cleared his throat and looked back toward the heavy doors. "As for respect...listen, Aeris. Dae..."

  "You don't have to make apologies for him." I wiped my face. "I think I know him well enough by now."

  Again, he gave me a stricken look I couldn't fathom. "You don't know him as well as you think. He's livid with Vermonte for taunting you. He's sent Vermonte out, called him a useless popinjay. They've just had a huge, screaming row. All because of you."

  "Really?"

  "Really." He held up his hand when I made to go back into the room. "But I wouldn't go in just yet. You've caused a lot of trouble. Dae is angry with Vermonte, but I'd wager he's more than a bit pissed with you, too. I'd make myself scarce for a while, if I were you."

  I searched his face for any sign he mocked or teased me, but could find none. "Thank you."

  Lir nodded and bit at his lower lip for a moment. "Vermonte is an ass."

  "I know that."

  "And Dae...Dae doesn't appreciate anything he has. Don't let him upset you so much." br />
  Then he gave me his back and stalked away down the hall, leaving me to stare after him in bewilderment.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  I kept myself gone until the early evening, when I returned to lay out the clothes Daelyn would wear for his nightly excursion. Daelyn behaved as though I'd never prostrated myself in front of him, and I was grateful for that.

  "Not that one." He pointed at the jade-green doublet I'd chosen.

  It was the first time in a while he'd disapproved of my selection. "I thought you were going to the Dancing Dove tonight."

  He raised a brow at me. "As far as you know, I am."

  I turned my back to hide my scowl. "Maybe I should dress you all in black, like a thief."

  He didn't reply, and with sharp, swift movements, I yanked an entire black ensemble from its hangers. Let him dress from head to toe in it, I thought. Let him do his dirty work under Rosten's nose. Let him get caught at it!

  He took the clothes from me and went behind his folding screen. For once he didn't toss the garments he removed onto the floor, but instead took them off carefully and handed them to me to fold. He even handed me his shoes to put away in their velvet-lined boxes.

  His behavior was unusual, but I didn't comment on it. He came out from behind the screen, clothed from hat to shoe in deep, midnight black. The color set off his clear, pale skin and the shining gold of his hair.

  "Am I forgiven?"

  I nodded without looking at him. I couldn't look at him, knowing he meant to go out tonight and perform daring escapades with the likes of Lir and Vermonte, but not me. Not when I knew I'd thrown myself at his feet and received naught but pity in return.

  "Aeris."

  I answered, still without meeting his eyes. Daelyn sighed, but said nothing more. The slamming of the door told me he'd gone.

  I didn't bother to change my clothes. I threw on old black cloak of Daelyn's he hadn't worn as long as I knew him. The hood came up nicely to obscure my face, should anyone pay any attention to me – but I meant to be certain nobody did.

  Instead of going down the corridor to the stairs that would take him to the street, Daelyn went to the wide steps leading upward, to the fourth floor. At this hour, he passed nobody in the halls. I took the narrower servant's staircase hidden behind a large tapestry. It came out just outside the door to Lir's rooms, and if I was swift, I'd be able to make it there before Daelyn did. I paused behind the hanging fabric at the top of the stairs and listened.

  There was no mistaking the pattern of Daelyn's heels on the floor, nor the sharpness of his rap on Lir's door. The door creaked on its hinges, I heard murmuring, laughing, the soft noise of their greeting kiss that turned my stomach and made me want to cry again.

  "Are you ready?" Lir asked.

  "Are you?" Daelyn gave a low chuckle. "It won't be easy. Not with Rosten's goons parading the streets."

  "Ah, but easy takes away the sweetness of the triumph." Another soft noise. "Are you sure you're up for it? You have your duties to fulfill tomorrow."

  Daelyn gave a low growl. "Don't spoil the night."

  "Me, spoil it?" Lir laughed. "When on the morrow I'll be the one getting my hands dirty for you?"

  "And I'll be forever grateful." Daelyn actually sounded sincere.

  I wondered for a moment at their lack of discretion, until Lir said, "Hush, love. There may be ears listening."

  In that moment, I knew Lir had sensed my presence. His skill with the Art, his intelligence, or maybe simply the uneasy link we'd been forging on the fight field had made him aware of me. I tensed, waiting for him to pull aside the tapestry and expose me. He didn't.

  Daelyn made a tutting noise. "At this hour? Not even the follies are roaming around."

  "Have you called on the others?"

  "That prancing ass Vermonte is already at the Dancing Dove. I told him he might have a chance to get back in my good graces. I'm happier than ever we've never included him in our private games." Somehow, I didn't think he meant love games. "Penryn, Freet, Moravian and Gilder are there too. All of them would swear on their lives I was with them the entire evening."

  I knew the way to the Dancing Dove. I wasn't truly convinced it was their real destination, but Daelyn had said his lordlings were there. I guessed that no matter what other activities he'd had planned for this night, he'd at least make an appearance at the poetry house.

  I didn't bother to follow them, but made my own way. Though I passed many of Rosten's guards along my route, none stopped me since it was before the curfew. Some of them were laughing and carousing as they paced their routes, but most were solemn. Cold. Their eyes glittered in the light from the street lamps as I passed by and they assessed me. Rosten had chosen these men for a reason. Their brawn. Their might. But also, I suspected, their desire to keep things in Alyria the way they had always been. Like he did.

  "Step lively, lad," called one as I crossed the wide brick street. "Chimes catch you out past curfew, and you'll have us to answer to."

  His grin made me feel filthy, and I didn't reply. Ahead, at the end of a wide, well-lit alley, was the poetry house I sought. The ale was cheaper and not so fine, the poetry not as poignant. The Dancing Dove was a place men went to find a casual lover than to discuss politics or play at Snap Me. The men who frequented it were merchants and clerks, lower-paid workers, and the appearance of Daelyn and his lordlings always caused a flurry of interest.

  Tonight, I ducked inside the door and found a place in the corner of the dim room. There were times when Daelyn didn't seem to notice my presence when I was in front of his face, and to Vermonte and his other comrades I was as the wallpaper. The only one I feared might see me was Lir, but as I settled into the rickety chair and raised my finger to the serving folly, I saw no sign of him.

  Daelyn was impossible to miss. He entered the room as though he knew everyone's heads would turn, which of course, they did. He smiled and waved and winked and flirted. He walked with a sway that made every eye focus on the immense cod between his legs. He owned the entire room the moment he entered it.

  I watched Daelyn surreptitiously from my dim corner as he flirted and sent rounds of drink and food. He accepted a kiss from one intoxicated older man, and a gift of some sort from the other. To anyone else's eyes, he looked the same vain, primping dandy out to have a good time. I saw the way his eyes shifted around the room as though he sought something special.

  I made sure to keep myself in the corner, away from his gaze. After a time, the singing and conversation in the house grew louder, the men drunker, the poetry more maudlin. My eyes grew heavy from the heat of the fire and the cups of ale I'd consumed.

  Daelyn had found his prey. He sat upon the other man's lap and tickled his chin with one finger. He threw back his head and laughed at something his conquest said, and the lordlings laughed too. Daelyn bent to kiss the man, whose arms went around the prince and stroked his thighs and back suggestively.

  Jealousy hardened my heart, and when Daelyn got up and took his new lover by the hand to lead him upstairs to one of the private rooms, it was as though teeth gnawed my gut. Knowing Dae had chosen the man to provide an alibi didn't make me feel any better. If anything, it made me feel worse. Daelyn was going to make some sort of love to that miscreant, that drunken slob with messy hair and shabby clothes, and yet he would take naught from me...

  I had to turn to face the wall as they passed, both so the prince would not see me and so I would not have to look. I bit my lip until it bled, then made my decision. I had to know what he was up to. Why he'd worn all black. Why he'd chosen a man so obviously not to his standards to take upstairs.

  I left the main room and climbed to the second floor. I passed several open doors with empty rooms behind them. I went toward the end of the hall, through an archway to the rooms beyond. We were no longer over the poetry house's main room. The second story stretched across the kitchens below, and perhaps even over the series of small shops next to the poetry house itself. The r
ooms on the other side of the arch were larger, the doors fancier.

  "You don't mind, do you?" I heard Daelyn say as I passed one of the doors, and I froze.

  "Mind? When I can have two of youse together, two fine lads like youse? No!" A drunken voice slurred.

  I ducked into the doorway of the room next to where I heard the voices, and pressed my ear to the wall. I heard some muffled talking, but couldn't make it out.

  A chilly breeze skittered across my cheek, and I turned to see the window, open a crack. Outside, a narrow balcony hung along the entire back of the building. It also went right under the window of the room next door.