Beneath the Veil

  "Sinder's Balls," he said. "What's in here?"

  "Worm." Cheap wine mixed with a bit of opiate, guaranteed to get you drunk fast and make you forget about what's ailing you.

  Daelyn leaned over to kiss Lir on the cheek. "Bless you."

  "I always remember, don't I?"

  I looked from one to the other, feeling there was more going on than just a gift of wine. I was no longer certain I was welcome in Daelyn's bed now Lir had joined him. As always, watching them together, I felt out of place.

  Daelyn settled back into his pillows and lifted the jug to his lips. "Potent stuff, Lir. Where do you get it?"

  "I bribed an underpriest to give me a cake of poppy and I let it dissolve in the grape. Nothing more than any poetry house owner does. I just made it a touch more effective."

  The prince snorted. "Here, Aeris. Try some of this. It'll do you a world of good. Chase away your melancholia."

  "I wasn't aware the lad had melancholia." Lir peered across Daelyn to see me. "He's always seemed rather sassy to me."

  To spite him, I took a big gulp from the jug. The wine stung my throat, and the opiate had given it an odd taste, but the warmth that filled my throat and belly within moments of consuming it was oddly comforting. I took another drink.

  "Slowly!" Daelyn said. "It gives quite a punch if you're not used to it."

  I could feel that already. My fingertips had become a little numb. A silly smile stretched on my lips, and I tried to straighten but only succeeded in making it bigger.

  Lir shook his head. "He's already half-snockered."

  Daelyn smacked him on the shoulder. "He's just a lad, Lir. Why'd you make this stuff so strong?"

  Lir gulped from the jug, then leaned in to kiss Daelyn so thoroughly I blushed just watching it. "You're the one who gave it to him."

  His cheeks flushed, Daelyn looked over at me. "I don't think anyone's yet 'given it' to him."

  Bright colors surrounded him. I blinked, hard, to clear them, but they only became more widespread and diffuse.

  "Don't tease, Lir." Daelyn settled back against the headboard and opened his arms. "You have better things to do with your mouth than speak out of it."

  Chuckling, Lir leaned in and kissed Daelyn again, though more briefly this time. When he sat back, his gaze found mine. "You're going to frighten the lad."

  Daelyn looked at me. "Really? I don't think so."

  I wasn't frightened, though my heart had begun to thump in my chest like a herd of runaway horses. Lir kept looking at me assessingly. Following an impulse I wasn't certain I understood, I shifted closer to Daelyn and put my hand on his shoulder.

  "Aeris," Daelyn said in a conspiratorial tone. "Lir would never admit this, but he absolutely loves to frighten you."

  "I don't think that's a secret, my prince."

  Lir shook his head and frowned. "It's falsehood, Dae, and you know it. I don't love to frighten the lad."

  "Then prove it," Daelyn told him.

  "How?"

  The prince reached and toyed with a strand of hair that had come undone from my braid. "Kiss him."

  I swallowed hard. The colors swirling over the bed had made my head. Did I want Lir to kiss me? Did I dare let him?

  "Now who's scaring the lad? Look at him," Lir said. "He's nearly white."

  Anything Lir thought I couldn't, I was determined to do. I'd never have reacted in such a manner had I not been drunk and floating from the worm. I slid across the bed, over Daelyn's lap, and seated myself on Lir's thighs. The thickness of the coverlet separated me from his body. I leaned forward and took his face between my hands. I stared into his eyes for what seemed an eternity, before I finally dipped my head to kiss him.

  At the last minute, my hesitancy won. I'd meant to kiss him firmly, maybe harshly, but in the end I passed my lips over his with a light touch. His mouth parted. I smelled his breath, redolent with wine. I breathed in as he breathed out. His hand came up to cup the back of my head, and he held me there. I kissed him again while my body trembled. His tongue nudged mine, then swept the inside of my mouth with an urgency that took my breath away.

  I broke the kiss and pulled away, afraid of my reaction. I'd never kissed a lover. I couldn't take a lover. This was foolishness at its worst.

  His grip on my wrist kept me from escaping entirely. He licked his mouth. His gaze burned me.

  "Have some more worm, Aeris." Daelyn's whisper gave me the strength to look away from Lir's eyes. "It'll make you feel better."

  I doubted that lifted the jug to my mouth anyway. I coughed a little on the brew, and Daelyn pounded my back until the spasms subsided. I moved to the foot of the bed, away from Lir's grasp, his thighs, his tempting, delicious mouth.

  Daelyn and Lir began to kiss again. I stayed at the foot of the giant bed and watched, envy making me want to join and fear keeping me still. I watched Lir caress Dae's hair and wanted to do the same. I saw Daelyn slip a hand inside Lir's unlaced shirt and ached to follow suit. All I could do was watch, and drink more worm.

  A coppery smell hung in the air. Blood. Lust. A rich, heavy scent that made me squirm. It, like the swirling colors, had to be in my head, but it affected me as strongly as if I'd really smelled it.

  Dae and Lir paid me no mind, caught up in their kissing and stroking. A haze, more than the colors, covered my vision. I felt languid, lazy, yet my body vibrated with tension concentrated in that tiny spot between my legs. I took my hand away, and breathless, waited for the feeling to subside. It didn't.

  Now Daelyn paused to look at me. "Come here, Aeris."

  Any trepidation I'd had before was masked by languor. I felt silly, I felt happy, I felt hot and a little wild. The drugs? Or watching two beautiful men begin to make love to each other, both men I desired? I didn't know, nor did I care. I moved up on the bed, to crouch next to Lir, who had moved toward the center of the bed.

  "Is he not the loveliest man?" Dae ran a finger across Lir's jaw and down his chin, his throat and across his chest.

  Lir's eyes, half-lidded, flicked in my direction. "Don't ask him that. He hates me."

  That was usually true, but it didn't stop me from replying, "Yes, my prince. Next to yourself."

  This seemed to please and amuse Daelyn, who laughed. "Oh, I'm pleasing enough to look at, but Lir is a much finer-looking man. In fact, he's fair perfect."

  I wouldn't have said that. The lines of Lir's face were a trifle too bold, too strong, to be fashionable. His full, lush mouth was in keeping with the standards of the day, but his eyes were dark instead of blue, his brows thick and heavy instead of finely arched. His hairline was uneven. He didn't use enough cosmetic.

  I suddenly realized I'd been listing his imperfections out loud. "Your mercy, my lord."

  "Lord Akean well knows his faults," Daelyn said. "But you forget to list his other features. What of his silky hair? His smooth skin? His muscled chest and arms and legs? His body is perfection, don't you agree?"

  I felt pinned by Lir's assessing gaze. "It is very fine, my prince."

  "Don't you want to touch him?"

  "Very much."

  "Then do it," Daelyn whispered, eyes aglow. He ran a hand inside Lir's open shirt and pulled it further apart. "Touch him. Don't be shy."

  The worm made it impossible for me to be shy. As if in a trance, I watched my own hand reach for the bare patch of skin exposed by Lir's open shirt. His skin was warm. Almost hot, but I didn't remove my fingers. Dazed, I let them play over the ridge of his chest muscles until I found the taut circle of one nipple.

  "Sinder's Balls," he gritted out when I rolled the small bead of flesh between my fingers. "Who taught you that?"

  I tried to take my hand away, but Daelyn's grip kept it there. "I daresay nobody taught him."

  Daelyn let me remove my hand long enough to help Lir tug his shirt off over his head. Then the prince put my hand back on Lir's bare chest. He kept his fingers cupped over mine and urged my hand to move in slow circles over Lir's skin. When he to
ok his hand away, mine kept moving.

  How long did we stay that way, the three of us? I can't say for certain. Time had ceased to move in its regular pattern for me. Each motion seemed infinite. Endless. The colors attached themselves to my hands and followed my movements in long, gleaming trails.

  Lir and Daelyn kissed again. Lir's hand went between Dae's legs and cupped him through the linen gown. Dae sighed and put his hand on Lir's, which began to move in the same circular pattern Daelyn had urged me to use on Lir's chest.

  The spot between my legs throbbed anew at the sight. Daelyn left Lir's mouth and leaned back against the pillows with one arm thrown over his eyes. Lir's hand continued its slow circling at Daelyn's crotch, but he turned to face me.

  Did he beckon me? Or did I take the initiative? The memory of that night remains mostly a blur because of the worm. I know I leaned to kiss him, this time without hesitation.

  The hand not caressing Daelyn found the back of my head and he pulled me closer until I straddled his thighs. The bulge of his erection prodded my aching center through the bedcovers. I think I might have moaned against his lips when he thrust against me. I felt empty, a vessel waiting to be filled.

  Lir turned to kiss Daelyn again, which left me free to taste Lir's throat and neck, the curve of his shoulder, the tightness of his chest. Daelyn jerked beneath Lir's fingers. He tossed his head from side to side and lifted his hips beneath Lir's hand.

  "Let go," Lir murmured, or I think he did. I saw colors erupt from his mouth and caress Daelyn. I felt the warmth of his breath. But I'm not sure I actually heard him speak.

  With a final cry, Daelyn arched and fell back, panting. He opened his eyes, glazed with passion. Sweat dotted his brow. He put a hand on Lir's to stop the motion. His body quivered a few more times, and he smiled and ran his tongue over his lips.

  "Wonderful," he said.

  I wasn't quite sure what had happened. I'd never seen men make love without taking off their clothes, yet it was clear Daelyn had experienced his release. What had he felt beneath Lir's caress? My own groin ached and throbbed with tension. What would it be like?

  "It's your turn," Daelyn said. I wasn't sure if he meant me, or Lir.

  I closed my eyes to rid myself of the worm's affects, but to no avail. I'd consumed too much. My lips curved against Lir's smooth skin. The few stray dark hairs around his nipple tickled my cheek. I took it in my mouth again and heard him sigh.

  His heart thudded beneath my lips. My hands found the ridged muscles of his belly, and I slid them lower to caress the rise of his hips. I moved my attentions over his taut stomach. I licked and nipped at his flesh, loving the taste of him, the smell of him. The feel of him.

  His hand found the top of my head and tangled momentarily in my hair while I continued to kiss his stomach. I moved lower still. I pushed the thin briefs over Lir's hips his muscled thighs. I'd never gazed upon a naked man with longing before. Another wave of dozy, dreamy haze washed over me. I floated. I dreamed. I took Lir in my mouth and we moved together like lovers.

  My own body filled with a trembling, shivering joy, focused between my legs but suffused throughout all my limbs.

  I became aware that while I used my mouth on Lir, Daelyn was also kissing and caressing his body. We worked together, taking turns. I felt Dae next to me, his warmth, his arousal, though we both remained clothed. The spot between my legs ached for attention and found it when I was able to thrust a fist between my thighs. I rocked against it while I loved Lir with my lips and teeth and tongue.

  Daelyn put my hand at the root of Lir's cock, and I moved it in tandem with his mouth. Up and down, while my thighs contracted around my fist.

  Lir gave a wordless cry. The scent of his seed filled the air. He rocked against us, then lay still.

  The tension within me had not been resolved. I felt the closeness of release, but knew not how to help myself reach it. Frustrated, I rolled onto my back, my head at Lir's hip. The bed shifted as Daelyn reached over to toy with my hair. I blinked. The colors the worm had given me were starting to fade.

  We were silent, the three of us. I began to drowse. A hand came to rest on my stomach, up high, just beneath the bottom edge of my slight bosom.

  Worm can soothe and mellow, but its bitterness can also create anxiety. Even panic. My body went stiff and I sat up. My face must have shown my fear, because Dae moved toward me and put his arm around my shoulder.

  I sat back further, fearful. I could not make love to them. I could not disrobe. I could not...

  "Hush." Daelyn kissed my lips and held me. I hadn't realized I was trembling. He pulled away and put his hands to my face. "Aeris. We won't hurt you."

  I shook my head. Hot tears slid from beneath my lashes and scalded my cheeks. "I can't."

  Lir sat up and put his arms around me, too. They both hugged me. The warmth of their bodies soothed my shaking. I felt foolish, and ashamed.

  "I understand." Daelyn tucked my hair behind my ears and used his thumbs to wipe away my tears.

  "You can't!"

  His gaze grew flinty. "I do. I promise you I do."

  I looked at Lir, expecting to see the same mocking grin, the same amused look. His eyes still gleamed with passion, and his cheeks and throat were flushed.

  I wanted to do everything. I wanted to strip myself beneath their gaze and open myself to them both. I wanted to reach the pleasure I sensed waiting for me.

  But I could not.

  "Your mercy," I gasped, and got up from the bed. I pressed the heels of my hands to my eyes to prevent the tears from falling out. My body shook as I backed away. "Your mercy, my lord. I can't."

  I fled to the safety of my tiny cupboard, and the loneliness of my bed, and I sought the oblivion of sleep.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  My dreams that night were so filled with images of lust and sex I woke on the morrow half-convinced I'd dreamed the entire encounter. My pounding head and the nasty taste in my mouth proved at least the worm had been real. I performed my morning ablutions swiftly and without much pleasure. I'd never suffered the after-affects of drink before. I didn't like it much.

  Daelyn had already risen and dressed himself. He sat in front of his vanity mirror, his pots of cosmetic spread out in front of him, but he had not yet put any on. His cheeks looked pale, but he was no longer as wan as he'd looked the day before.

  "Good morning," he greeted with no mention of the intimacies we'd shared the night before.

  "Good morning, my prince."

  His gaze met mine in the mirror. "We have to attend a burning today."

  My face froze. I reached for a nearby chair back to keep myself upright. "My prince?"

  "A burning, Aeris." He repeated the words as though they tasted like bile. His fingers clattered amongst his cosmetic and he clenched them.

  "Who? Why?"

  "Rosten and his bloody Council of the Book." His face remained impassive, despite the anger in his voice. "They're making an example out of someone."

  "Can't...can't you stop them?"

  He swiveled slowly on his chair to stare at me. "And why should I do that? "Because it's wrong," I whispered.

  He gave me his back and looked again at his reflection. I could see myself in the glass, a shadowy figure behind him. He picked up a brush and dipped it into a pot of powder.

  "It is the Law of the Book." He applied the powder to his cheeks. "And Rosten has control of the Council of the Book. I can do nothing."

  "You are Prince Regent!"

  "But I’m not yet King."

  I had never cared to understand politics. "What did she do?"

  He looked up again, his blue eyes now rimmed with kohl and shadowed with glittering gold. "She bore a daughter and tried to pass it off as a son."

  The worm rushed to my throat, burning, and I ran to Daelyn's privy. I could not care I'd violated his privacy. I had only enough time to fall on my knees in front of the porcelain bowl of his wastechair before I vomited. I clutched the side
s of the bowl and heaved until I thought I might tear something loose.

  I sensed him behind me. He pressed a cool, damp cloth into my hand and I wiped my face with it gratefully. I leaned against the tile wall and felt drenched with sweat. My stomach lurched again, but I didn't puke.

  Daelyn ignored his fine garments and crouched on the floor in front of me. He gathered my hands with his and squeezed them. His face was serious, his eyes hard.

  "You will not do this again."