Mr. Darcy's Letter

  She distracted herself as best she could, taking her turns sitting with her mother, listening to Mary’s moralizing, and caring for her young cousins. She was grateful for Mrs. Gardiner’s continued presence, since her aunt’s good sense provided a much needed balm. Walking to Meryton provided an occasional change of pace, though Elizabeth could not say it was always a pleasant one.

  She went once with Jane to purchase some ribbons for Kitty, although it was hard to imagine the use of a newly decorated bonnet when none of them were invited anywhere and their neighbours would be embarrassed to be seen by them. Mrs. Long was in the shop when they arrived, and lost no time in asking after “poor Lydia”

  and exchanging a smirk with the merchant. Jane’s smile never faltered, but Elizabeth was hard put to make a pleasant acknowledgment when she knew the intention behind it.

  Mrs. Long said, “We all think of her every day and hope for the best, but as you know, Lydia was always a wild girl. I told your mother time and again that she needed to teach her proper manners, but she never saw anything wrong with it. I imagine she regrets that now. Is she still taken to her bed?”

  “She is improving, thank you,” Jane said. “It is kind of you to think of her.”

  “That horrible Mr. Wickham! Did you know that he is in debt to half the tradesmen in town? Of course, I always knew he was a scoundrel. Why, I told your mother so when I first met him.”

  Elizabeth said, “Odd, I always thought you were partial to him, but I must have been mistaken.”

  Mrs. Long lifted her nose. “Have you ever heard anything further of Mr. Bingley, Jane? What a pity it was that he left so suddenly.”

  Elizabeth had heard her ask this question many times, and she marveled at Jane’s ability to handle it with grace. It was hard to think well of neighbours who took such pleasure in Jane’s disappointed hopes.

  “Mr. Bingley?” Jane repeated steadily. “No, I have not heard from his sister these many months.”

  “Do you think he has any intention of returning to Netherfield?” Mrs. Long persisted.

  “I cannot begin to guess. Lizzy, what think you of this blue ribbon? Would it match Kitty’s dress, do you think?”

  Elizabeth glared at Mrs. Long, seething. It was times like this when one learned who one’s friends truly were. “I think it would be quite perfect.”

  CHAPTER 8

  Jane’s spirits were as low as Elizabeth’s, but they each endeavoured to hide their distress behind a mask of cheerfulness. Kitty, never having been particularly troubled by Lydia’s elopement, was the first to begin visiting the few friends who would still receive members of the Bennet family in their present scandalous condition.

  One day she came home from Lucas Lodge with her cheeks bright from running. “You will never guess what Maria Lucas told me!” she cried.

  Elizabeth feared the news which so pleased Kitty might be less pleasant to her, but said, “I cannot guess; so I hope you will take mercy on me and tell us.”

  “The housekeeper at Netherfield has received instructions to prepare the house for the arrival of Mr.

  Bingley!” she announced triumphantly, with a knowing look at Jane. “He is expected to arrive in a day or two, and will stay several weeks for the shooting.”

  Jane’s face grew white and her hands trembled on her work, but she said in an even voice, “You need not look at me. This news does not affect me with either pain or pleasure. Mr. Bingley is coming to the house that he has legally hired, and that is an end to it. It means nothing else.”

  Elizabeth was unconvinced, but did not wish to upset her sister any more than this intelligence must have already done. It had been many months since her sister had mentioned Mr. Bingley’s name, but she knew Jane had not forgotten him. She had not told Jane about seeing Mr. Bingley at Pemberley for fear that it would distress her, but if that gentleman was coming to Netherfield, he would likely mention their meeting. It would be best to confess first. Once Kitty had left the room, she said, “Did I tell you that I saw Mr. Bingley when I travelled to Derbyshire? He was visiting Mr. Darcy at Pemberley. I had thought he was going to Scarborough next, but he must have changed his plans.”

  Jane looked at her in surprise, then almost immediately turned away to her work. “No, I had not realized you had seen him.” Her needle punctured the fabric with unusual force. “Did he… was he well?”

  “We had little opportunity to talk except in company, but he did mention that we had not met since the 26th of November. He asked whether all my sisters were still at home, but I expect there was only one he wished to hear about.”

  Jane frowned. “It does not matter. I cannot imagine that he retains any feelings for me, and even if he did, our present circumstances would prohibit him from making an alliance with me. I am sure we shall meet as indifferent acquaintances, nothing more.”

  “Of course.” Elizabeth longed to tease Jane about her complete lack of indifference. She thought it quite likely Mr. Bingley would wish to see Jane, but she feared her sister might be correct about the effects of the current scandal. It was possible Mr. Bingley would not even visit them; most of their friends had steered clear of Longbourn since Lydia’s flight, not wishing to be tainted with the shame of the Bennet family. Without question, the marriage prospects of all the Bennet girls had been substantially damaged by Lydia’s actions, and she doubted anyone would now consider them eligible for a gentleman of Mr. Bingley’s stature.

  The thought of Mr. Darcy crossed her mind, as happened more often than she would have wished. He was completely out of her firmament now. Her hope had been that he would never hear of Lydia’s shame, but if Mr.

  Bingley discovered it, he would no doubt share it with his friend. She could only imagine what Mr. Darcy would think when he discovered that the sister of the woman he almost married had run off with Mr. Wickham of all people. He would think he had a near-miraculous escape. Her throat felt oddly tight. She was not certain she could meet Mr. Darcy as an indifferent acquaintance, not after the way she had treated him. He could not possibly still retain even the smallest amount of affection for her.

  “You did not tell me much of your visit to Pemberley, Lizzy,” Jane said in a voice as close to an accusation as Elizabeth had ever heard from her.

  Elizabeth understood Jane’s desire for a change of subject. “Our aunt wished to see the estate, and we were assured the family were away. Mr. Darcy arrived while we were touring the gardens. Later he introduced me to his sister and invited our uncle to fish with him. Miss Darcy asked us to tea while the gentlemen fished, and afterwards they joined us. Miss Bingley and the Hursts were there as well. Miss Darcy is a shy young thing, but seemed quite sweet.”

  “I recall Caroline hoped that Miss Darcy would marry Mr. Bingley,” Jane said softly. “It sounds as if they spent a lot of time together.”

  “I saw no sign of any attachment between them. Mr. Bingley paid more attention to me than to her. She is very young.” But not too young to think herself in love with Mr. Wickham, though she could not tell Jane that.

  Mr. Darcy had told her that in confidence, and she would not violate his trust.

  “Did you not worry that Mr. Darcy might seek to trap you, as he did with the letter?”

  Elizabeth’s cheeks grew so hot that she put her hands to them. “Oh, do not remind me of the terrible things I said about him! I was quite wrong. He was not trying to trap me at all.”

  Jane raised her eyebrows. “Still, it must have been uncomfortable to see him again.”

  “I have never been so embarrassed in my life! I felt it must look as if I were throwing myself in his way, but he was very civil.” More civil than she deserved, that was for certain. “It was odd - all the while we were touring the house, his housekeeper kept praising Mr. Darcy, telling us how sweet-tempered and generous he was, and I did not believe a word of it. She told us that Wickham had turned out quite wild, and I thought she was just parroting her master’s beliefs. I was so ready to think ill of Mr. D
arcy that I did not pay attention to the evidence in front of my eyes. I have treated him most unfairly. You told me so long ago, and I did not listen.”

  “I always had a greater value for him than you did, it is true, but he is not perfect. He insulted you at the assembly, and he denied Mr. Wickham his inheritance, though now that we know more of Mr. Wickham, perhaps Mr. Darcy had his reasons in denying him a position in the church.”

  “His reasons go beyond that, Jane. It turns out Mr. Darcy gave Wickham, at his request, three thousand pounds in lieu of the living. Had I bothered to confirm Wickham’s story, I would have known much sooner that he was not to be trusted.”

  Jane’s mouth formed a silent circle. “You cannot be blamed for believing Mr. Wickham. We all did. His appearance of goodness was so convincing, and there was no reason to think he would lie. You must not blame yourself, Lizzy.”

  If only she could take Jane’s words to heart! “Still, I was very unkind to Mr. Darcy, and he did not deserve it.”

  “Do you think better of him now?”

  “I suppose I do. He was neither proud nor reserved during our visit, and his housekeeper showed a side of him I had never known. Nobody in Derbyshire had anything but praise for him. He went out of his way to show me attention, even after all the terrible things I said to him at Hunsford. I would have thought him quite a different man, except that we did quarrel a bit at the end.” Not to mention sharing a kiss she would never forget.

  “You quarreled? I cannot believe it.”

  “Oh, we did indeed, when he discovered I had never read his letter. He had not been trying to entrap me at all, but to warn me about Mr. Wickham. Because I had not read it, I said something that angered Mr. Darcy.”

  Elizabeth shut her eyes, remembering the angry lines of his face when she mentioned Wickham’s name. “I was a fool not to see Mr. Darcy for what he was. I had no reason to think him dishonest except that I disliked him, and that was only because he had insulted me when we first met.”

  “You sound as if you have regrets,” Jane said almost timidly.

  “Regrets?” Elizabeth gave up any pretense of work and put her embroidery aside. “I regret that I was uncivil and unkind, yes.” She felt a tension in her stomach from a very different regret, a regret that she would never see him again and that his kiss would never be more than a memory for her.

  “But not for refusing him?”

  “How could I? I did not like him at all at the time. I have more respect for him now, but I still do not know if we would have suited each other. And Pemberley - I had no idea how grand it was. I have never seen a house more perfectly situated. The grounds are lovely, and the interior demonstrates fine taste and restraint. I cannot picture myself as mistress of such an estate.” It was such a contrast to the bleak future that loomed before her now, thanks to Lydia’s foolishness. “What I regret most is having given Mr. Darcy so much reason to think ill of me.”

  “Oh, Lizzy. I do not think you would be so pained if you did not like him at least a little,” said Jane gently.

  “Like him? I suppose I liked him well enough at Pemberley. It is astonishing how many flaws in a man can be forgiven by the knowledge that he admires me!”

  “Lizzy, I pray you be serious. I think you have developed a fondness for him.”

  Elizabeth sighed and picked up her work again, not wanting to meet her sister’s eyes. “It would not matter if I had fallen violently in love with him. He will never have anything to do with me or our family now, especially given that Mr. Wickham is involved in Lydia’s disgrace. I fear you are right that we are not suitable matches for gentlemen any longer.”

  Jane looked off out the window and nodded sadly. “Much has changed, but we will make the best of it. We still have our home and each other, and perhaps the matter of Lydia may come to a better resolution than we currently suppose.”

  Elizabeth would have liked to believe her, but knowing what she did of Mr. Wickham’s character and past, she thought it highly unlikely. But it was Jane’s way to look at the brightest side, and she would not take that small comfort away from her sister.

  CHAPTER 9

  There was still no word of Lydia at the end of the week. Any remaining hope disappeared as the days went by, till even Kitty had stopped racing to the door at the sound of hoof beats in front of Longbourn. So there was little excitement when she reported from the window seat that a curricle was pulling up to the house.

  “Who is it?” asked Jane.

  “A man and a woman. No, wait! It is Mr. Bingley and a lady whom I do not know. Not that sister of his, thank the Lord.”

  Jane half-rose from her chair, her eyes wide as those of a frightened doe. Then she sank down again, smoothing her hair and straightening her dress.

  Elizabeth crossed to the window. “That is Miss Darcy,” she said with amazement. “What could she be doing here? Jane, dearest, you are not facing the hangman’s noose! Come, we must greet our guests with smiling faces.” She silently thanked heaven that her mother had gone to Meryton to visit Mrs. Phillips. She could not imagine how Mrs. Bennet’s ill manners would appear to Miss Darcy.

  A knock sounded and they waited while Hill admitted the guests. Mr. Bingley appeared in the sitting room door with a hesitant smile which turned to a beaming one when his eyes rested on Jane.

  Elizabeth was grateful for the rituals of polite society that took them through the next few minutes. She welcomed the guests, introduced Miss Darcy to her sisters, and took Jane’s role in asking Hill for refreshments.

  Jane was pale and distracted, but the roses returned to her cheeks when Mr. Bingley took his old accustomed seat by her side.

  Bingley said, “How wonderful it is to see you again! We arrived only last night, but Miss Darcy could not wait to see her new friend.” His jovial manner suggested that Miss Darcy was not the only one eager to come to Longbourn.

  “I hope your journey was pleasant. Did you come directly from Pemberley?” Elizabeth said. It was not the question she most wanted answered, but it was as close as she could get.

  “Yes, though we took three days to make the journey. My sister does not care for long days in a carriage.”

  Although Mr. Bingley was answering Elizabeth’s question, he looked only at Jane, whose eyes were on the floor.

  “Miss Bingley is at Netherfield as well?” Elizabeth enquired, but what she really wanted to know was if Mr. Darcy was there. Would Miss Darcy be at Netherfield without her brother? If he was there, why had he not come to call? She feared she knew the answer. She told herself firmly that she would not regret him, ignoring the little voice which said it was too late for that.

  “Yes, though she is indisposed this morning. Mr. and Mrs. Hurst had to travel on to Scarborough and could not join us, but they both send their best regards. And you are all well, I hope?”

  “Very well, thank you,” Elizabeth said, while Kitty and Mary, awed by the elegance of Miss Darcy, merely nodded their heads in agreement.

  “Is Miss Lydia still in Brighton?”

  If it had been anyone else, Elizabeth would have supposed this to be mocking, but Mr. Bingley was so transparently happy that she could only believe he somehow remained in ignorance. She saw Mary open her mouth to speak, and hurried to intervene. “Mr. Bingley, Miss Darcy, would you care to take a turn around the garden with Jane and me? Miss Darcy has never seen them, and we have made many changes since last year.”

  She flushed, knowing this excuse was patently ridiculous, as Jane had not even poured the tea yet. She could not allow Mary to make the situation worse by moralizing.

  Bingley looked surprised, but accepted the invitation. As soon as they were outside Longbourn, he offered his arm to Jane who took it after a moment. Elizabeth walked ahead with Miss Darcy, leading them toward the small wilderness where they might be guaranteed some privacy.

  Miss Darcy made several admiring comments about the walk, although Elizabeth knew it was nothing to Pemberley. Elizabeth was marshalling her
courage to a desperate act, and hardly replied. When they reached a small clearing, she turned back to Mr. Bingley and Jane.

  “I am sorry to be ungracious to anyone, least of all such valued guests, but I must inform you of a matter which may cause distress to you.”

  Jane gave a little gasp and pulled away from Mr. Bingley, taking a handkerchief from her pocket. “Lizzy…”

  she said beseechingly. Bingley, who had looked only mildly curious until now, stepped toward her as if to comfort her.

  Elizabeth steeled herself to continue. It would only be worse to wait. “In a country neighbourhood such as this, you would learn of this soon enough. It cannot be concealed, and I prefer you hear it from us directly.

  My sister Lydia is not in Brighton. She has left her friends - has eloped; has thrown herself into the power of …

  one of the officers. They went off to London and have not been heard from since. It seems the officer was not inclined toward marriage.” She would not mention his name, not in front of Miss Darcy. She had suffered enough already at Wickham’s hands.