Be My December

  Walking through the empty apartment, I headed to the kitchen to make my morning coffee. Once my coffee was ready, I moved into the vast living room and finally had the chance to really look around. Photos graced the walls, showing a family of four, and it was clear exactly who Ky got his striking looks from. The man who I assumed was his father stood so proud, surrounded by his family with the exact same smirk that I had witnessed on Ky. This place really was gorgeous. I loved the floor to ceiling windows that were in both Ky’s bedroom and the living area, and the stainless steel and black kitchen was a chef’s dream; the guest room was like staying in the fanciest hotel.

  A loud knock on the door startled me. It was barely ten a.m. I left my mug on the glass coffee table and walked toward the door and who I saw through the peephole shook me to the core.

  Douglas Smith.

  I felt my body tense as recognition hit me. I hadn’t seen this man for over four years. I didn’t even want to know why he was here. With better judgment I slowly opened the door and the moment I came face to face with the man who had put Jeremy Davis behind bars I stiffened. On instinct, my chest tightened and tears spilled out like waterfalls over my cheeks. His arms wrapped around me tightly, and he pulled me against his chest as I sobbed, destroying his shirt in the process.

  “Can I come in?” his gruff voice asked.

  I reluctantly released my body from his and stepped back into the apartment, closely followed by Douglas. He stood in the middle of the living room taking in the space before turning back to look at me. I stood in silence, confused and concerned as to why he had suddenly appeared.

  “Where is Mr. Crawford?” his calming voice asked as his eyes darted around all corners of the apartment in search of any sign of Ky.

  “In Los Angeles for work.”

  “I wish I was visiting on better terms Eden.” The moment those words let his lips, I fumbled behind me for something to grab hold of to stop me from crumbling to the ground. My brain went into overdrive, but I knew what his visit could only mean. Douglas was in my life because of Jeremy Davis so this visit wasn’t just a general ‘hi, how are you going’ type of visit. I braced myself for impact. I thought I was getting stronger while I had been here; I thought being with Ky, and having him treat me like I was the best fucking thing on the planet, had helped erase some of the all-consuming fear. But right now, I felt the weakest I had ever been.

  “What is it?” I asked so softly that I wished he hadn’t have heard me.

  With two long strides he was standing in front of me and his hands fell to my shoulders. This man had seen me at my very worst and my moment of complete and utter horror, he saw things I wished he had never seen but now he looked back at me in concern, like he was sitting on the worst news he could deliver.

  “Jeremy Davis has been released.”

  Those five words were like being handed a death sentence. My head shook violently as the ramifications hit me, I couldn’t believe this. This couldn’t be real.

  “I just can’t.” My words jumbled as I tried to process everything.

  Douglas moved me to the couch where I collapsed and pulled my knees to my chest. Suddenly I felt exposed, like my world was now on display to the entire world to judge and destroy. Paranoia was a frightening thing. The days of looking over my shoulder had returned with those fucked-up text messages but now knowing that he was back out there, set me on the course of no return. Douglas walked back into the room and handed me a cup of tea and sat down beside me.

  “Now I am going to tell you everything so just listen, and I’ll answer anything afterwards.”

  I nodded.

  “Word was received last week that he was attempting parole. Every single one of us at the precinct thought he wouldn’t get it. There was no way in fucking hell that he would get it, not after what he had done. To say I was beyond shocked and pissed when I received the email about an hour ago was an understatement. The conditions of his parole are that he is not to contact you in any form so no emails, no text messages, no letters, no personal visits. He is not to intimidate you, your family, or your friends. He is to attend appointments with his parole officer twice a day, and he is on a curfew.”

  “When does he get out?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “I’ve been receiving text messages since I’ve been back in town,” I admitted, knowing that I couldn’t hide behind them any longer.

  Douglas narrowed his eyes. “Show me.”

  I rose from the couch and walked into the bedroom to find my phone. Suddenly the urge to have Ky here hit me. I needed his protection, his safety, his ability to provide calm. When I reached Douglas I handed him my phone and his brow scowled as he read through text after text, scrolling through the threats.

  “I am going to need to run these through the system. This is classed as stalking Eden. Whoever this is clearly knows you and is keeping tabs on your whereabouts and who you are with.”

  “I need to leave.” I shot up from the couch and rushed into guest room and threw my suitcase on the bed. I couldn’t stay here. It was the biggest mistake coming back here; I should have listened to my head all those weeks ago.

  “Eden, fucking stop for a second.” My hand froze at the ferociousness of his words. “Sweetie just hear me out.”

  I turned to face him as his large intimidating frame filled the door way. Defeat hit me and fresh tears threatened to overflow over my cheeks.

  “Don’t let him win any more Eden. Stay here, stand your ground. You can’t hide anymore. Ky will not let anything happen to you.”

  “How do you know Ky?”

  “Do you think I don’t check up on you? I know a lot about the people you hang out with Eden. You and your case has stuck by me. Even after twenty-five years of doing this job, you are the one who I still pray for. I want a life for you Eden; you deserve a life and if you keep running you’ll never get that.”

  I dropped my voice low. “What happens if he comes for me?”

  “He won’t.”

  “But what if…”

  “Eden. He won’t.”

  ••••

  I was not sure how I spent that day. After Douglas left, I sunk into the depths of my memories curled up on the couch in a fetal position. The sunlight of the day turned into the dusk of the late afternoon, and I was yet to move. Everything was a whirlwind, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to get out of it.

  So much for scouting locations for the shoot, luckily I was professional enough to send Daniel a text saying that I had to postpone.

  My phone came to life beside me and the moment I saw my best friend’s name flash on the screen, I was desperate for whatever he had to say.

  Colby: I need to see my best friend. Be ready in an hour. Blake and I are coming to pick you up.

  A simple message brought me back to reality and the ache of my empty stomach was a clear indication that I hadn’t eaten all day. Dinner with Colby and Blake sounded comforting. I needed to do it. Douglas’s words about not running had been the only thing circulating in my head all day; every hour the thought of calling the airline and purchasing a ticket had hit me yet something was keeping me from doing it.

  I peeled myself out of the comfort of the couch and stumbled toward the bathroom for a much needed shower and attempted to appear somewhat human. Once I had scrubbed my body clean and dressed, I put the final touches on my makeup, did my hair in loose curls, and went back out into the living room.

  I could do this.

  I was still trying to get my head around the fact that Blake and Colby were even here. What where the odds? In what crazy world was I living where my new safe and precious life was colliding head-on with the life I wished to forget?

  Knowing that they were the main band that I would be photographing for the cover helped calm my nerves. I knew they wouldn’t let me fail. They were my boys. Photography was my true escape. When I was shooting, I could escape into another world and get lost for those precious moments, and knowing that I w
ould be seeing them through the lenses put my nerves to rest.

  I reached into my purse and grabbed my phone. A new message notification flashed before me and a swarm of butterflies unleashed in my tummy when I saw the name.

  Ky: The flight was long, the cab driver got lost, but I’m finally here but have been in meetings all day. I wish I were back there.

  My heart fell. I wished he were here too. I needed everything he could offer.

  Eden: It’s quiet here without you.

  Ky: I’ll be back before you know it.

  I couldn’t wait.

  I was distracted in the best possible way at the thought of having dinner with Colby and Blake. In all of their crazy rock star ways were two of the best guys I knew. The only two guys I trusted. I had met Colby first. He was a San Francisco local and lived in the rundown place beside Tori’s. He was the one who directed me to her place when I first turned up with just a suitcase, a couple of hundred dollars, and a shattered heart. I remembered the day so clearly. He frightened me when I had first seen him; he had these piercing eyes that would destroy you with one glance and the timid girl who I was then had been overcome by a billion different emotions. He had walked down the rickety steps and came straight at me while I stood on the sidewalk frozen stiff. It literally took him five minutes to make me feel comfortable, five minutes to barge into my life, and five minutes to make me feel safe. I couldn’t explain it if my life depended on it.

  From that moment he was in my life, even when I tried to shut him out. He wouldn’t leave, he was that annoying neighbor who pried, but I loved him for it. I often described him as having muscle on muscle and combine that with the colorful tattoos he looked like a walking threat. But I knew the real Colby. When you got below the tattoos, the gruff voice, and the intimidating stare he was a teddy bear who often was my comforter.

  A knock on the door interrupted my trip down memory lane. The last time I opened the door I had been delivered fucked-up news so my hesitation was warranted. I peeked through the peephole and my heart fluttered to life as I saw Colby and Blake standing just outside. They were here. Within seconds of opening the door I was in the arms of Colby and he was swinging me around in the air like they did in the movies. My squeals bounced off the empty hall and the sound of Colby’s deep chuckle warmed my heart with familiarity. I didn’t realize how much I had missed him until I was back in his arms. Warm contentment flooded me.

  “Well look at you little miss hot shot. I hear you are shooting some pretty fucking awesome rock stars these days,” Colby’s deep voice teased.

  “Really and who would that be? I haven’t met any rock stars yet,” I countered with a smirk.

  “Fuck I missed you,” he growled in my ear and buried his face in my neck. My eyes slammed shut under the intensity.

  An annoyed cough hit my ears. “Are you two done? I was always the third fucking wheel in the Eden and Colby show!”

  Colby pulled away from me and turned toward Blake, a glint of humor in his eye. “What? When you weren’t screwing Tori?”

  “Fuck you asshole. If you had Eden, I clearly had to go for the best friend,” Blake spat.

  My laughter roared out of me. I finally felt like myself.

  ••••

  The Watergrill was a sports bar by the water and according to Blake they have the best steaks in the country so of course we had to go there. After ordering nachos for myself and the world famous steaks for the guys we took a seat at one of the corner tables that just happened to be located by one of the largest televisions I’d ever seen. A football game with Blake’s favorite team blared through the room. Conversation flowed smoothly and comfortably. I hadn’t seen these guys for almost a year, but it was like no time had passed. They told me all about the upcoming tour and filled me in on Colby’s bet with Blake—he would abstain from sex for the duration of the tour, a fact that made me laugh so hard that I choked on my Coke. There was no way in hell that he could do it. I knew Colby, and I knew he loved and needed sex like he needed air.

  Halfway through the conversation my phone beeped with an incoming text.

  Ky: Why is it that I know you are probably out at dinner but I still want to text you?

  Eden: Shouldn’t you be out. I am sure there are plenty of LA girls who would want to spend the night with you.

  Ky: Why do you do that? It’s pretty fucking clear that you’re the only person I’d spend the night with.

  “So what’s the go with you and that Ky guy?”

  My head shot up at the sound of Blake’s voice. Did he see my text? What did Ky mean? I shoved my phone in my bag quickly and tried my hardest to look calm while my head was spinning and my heart beating furiously in my chest.

  “Nothing is the go,” I replied in my smoothest voice.

  “Oh baby girl, I love you like a sister, but you are as blind as a fucking bat. The moment I stepped foot into his office I felt the tension between you two. Fuck, the moment I hugged you, I thought he was going to punch me in the face.”

  “Well seems like someone’s got an admirer.” Colby’s teasing tone caused my cheeks to flush. “Speaking of admirers, did this one tell you that he is completely pussy whipped?” He asked, shooting a look towards Blake.

  “Fuck off! I am far from whipped.”

  “Okay Eden, you can be the judge of this. So this one—” He motioned toward Blake. “He has some chick who gives him attitude, dismisses his advances, yet he still won’t jump on any of the groupie pussy that is available because of Violet. Now tell me that isn’t being whipped.”

  My laughter filled the table. This was what I wanted; friends, laughs, distraction, and comfort. This kind of talk was an everyday occurrence with Colby until he moved to Los Angeles a year ago, and I missed it. I missed him.

  Blake rose from his seat. “Fuck you Colby! I am heading to the bar; if we are talking about this I need booze. What do you want?”

  “I’ll just have a Coke.”

  He nodded and left Colby and me alone.

  “You look good.” Colby’s voice dropped and he leaned over the table and grabbed my hands in his. My hands looked so delicate against his decorated hands, covered in bright colors and shades of black.

  “I’m so scared Colbs,” I whispered through broken breathing.

  His face lost color. “What the fuck is going on Eden?”

  “It’s hard being here, I won’t deny that. I am scared that I am going to run into someone or freak out at the worst possible time. I keep getting text messages from an unknown number and that’s starting to freak me out and today Douglas turned up at Ky’s apartment to tell me that Jeremy has been released.”

  “Fuck Eden! Why didn’t you call me?”

  “I just wanted to ignore the text messages, but now Douglas is investigating them. If I didn’t think about them then I didn’t panic but now with Jeremy somewhere close I can’t help it.”

  “Eden, promise me that you will tell someone. What about Ky? If anything Blake has told me, it’s that he seems to have an invested interest in you so tell him.”

  “He knows about what happened to me.”

  “What?”

  I looked at him and sighed. As soon as I admitted this Colby would go into protective mode and I knew what he was like and I knew he would storm into Ky’s office the first opportunity he got yet I couldn’t lie to him.

  “The other night I went back to the hotel and found someone had broken in. I called Ky and he came and got me and now I’m staying at his apartment.”

  “What the fuck Eden? Has he tried anything? Has Ky fucking tried anything with you?”

  “Colby calm down. We kissed and then I told him everything that had happened. He knows I can’t say no, and it pisses him off.”

  “It pisses me off too.”

  My eyes glistened with tears, and I blinked furiously trying to cease their escape. I couldn’t cry. Not here, not now.

  “Give me your phone Eden.”

  “Colby, please. W
hat are you doing?” I fished my phone out of my bag and handed it to him with shaking hands. I watched with wide eyes as he pressed on the screen and lifted it up to his ear.

  “No, this is Colby. Eden’s best friends from Cali. Yeah. She is here. Just fucking listen to me. We have a problem. I know she told you. She is getting text messages from an unknown number and now fuckstick Jeremy has been released. Do you think I don’t fucking know that? When are you back? Good. Take care of her. This is on you. Sure.”

  I stared at Colby with wide eyes. He was ripping Ky a new asshole, and I wish I knew exactly what he was saying. I had come to learn when Colby was pissed by the way he would shift his jaw and right now, sitting opposite me, was a man that was way beyond pissed off.

  Colby abruptly held out my phone toward me and nodded at the screen.

  “He wants to talk to you.”

  I didn’t want to talk to Ky.

  “Hello,” I choked as I held the phone to my ear.

  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? How long have you been getting these messages? What are they saying? Fuck!” Ky roared down the phone.

  “Ky, please don’t yell at me,” I whispered as fresh tears formed in my eyes.

  “Babe, I’m not yelling at you.” He sighed deeply down the line. “You should have told someone. If not me, then Josh, Ashlyn, Colby, Tori! Don’t keep this shit to yourself. Was it happening before your hotel room got broken into? What were you told about Jeremy?”

  “I got the first message when I was having chocolate cake with you, on my birthday, and all I know is that he got released today. I’m really scared Ky. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Fuck!” He fell silent, and I dropped my eyes to the table. “I’m coming home early. Be in my bed when I get home.”

  He hung up.

  Everything passed in quick succession. I hung up the phone after hearing Eden’s petrified voice, called Simon Davenport to inform him that I was leaving due to an emergency back home, rushed to the LAX, and now I sat on the first plane back to New York awaiting departure.