Be My December

  I stood in the middle of the apartment robbed of my ability to see. I didn’t know whether it was the darkness, the silence, or the jabs of lightning that lit up the room that made the intensity soar.

  My shriek filled the room as Ky’s arms weaved around my waist and pulled me against his chest. I was fully alert to the closeness of his body, and I inhaled violently as his warm breath skimmed the skin near my ear.

  “I don’t want you to leave.” His mouth was so close to my ear and a shiver of want fled down my back.

  “After last night—” I whispered causing my head to involuntarily fall to the side, and I was rewarded with the lightest of kisses.

  “Last night you begged me to take you Eden. Do you know what that felt like, hearing you ask me to give you everything. I don’t want to hurt you Eden, I couldn’t live with myself if I did. I’ve been thinking about it all day and then when I got home and you weren’t here… I freaked out.”

  I was trembling against his body, not in fear but of expectation. His words were flooding my ears and the realization of what he was saying was so confusing. Did he want me or didn’t he?

  “I needed to distract myself so I went shopping.”

  “What did you buy?” he growled against my neck, his fingers kneading my hips.

  “Lingerie.”

  His body ripped away from mine so quickly and the sensation of loss was gravely intense. Darkness still swamped the apartment and for a moment I thought he had slipped out of the door to leave me on my own. My ears pricked to life when I heard movement to my left but still I couldn’t see him. Finally through the flicker of candlelight dancing on the mantel I made out his features. He moved through the living room and disappeared into the bedrooms, igniting candle after candle until the apartment danced in shadows.

  Ky headed to the couch the minute his eyes locked onto the dark pink bags on the floor. My breathing halted as he lifted them and walked back toward me like a man on a mission.

  “I want you to try something on,” he suggested in a devastatingly seductive tone as he placed the bag on the floor between us. His dimple popped in his cheek as he smirked and lowered his eyes back to the bag. “You bought it, you try it on.”

  When his eyes met mine, we stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. I didn’t even know if I was breathing. My heart thundered in my chest and my stomach swarmed with excitable butterflies at the thought of standing before this man in my lingerie. I nodded and dropped my hand to the bag on the floor and picked it up. His hand came to mine, encasing it with hesitation and stopped me.

  “Only do this if you are really sure because if I see you in lingerie, there is no way I will be able to control myself. Say no to me Eden because I won’t be able to stop once I start.”

  My actions spoke louder than any verbal response I could have given him. I pulled the bag close to my chest and sauntered down the hall that was illuminated by the candlelight escaping through the doors of his bedroom and the guestroom.

  I was really going to do this. I stepped into the guest room and placed the bag on the bed. I had begged him last night for this and now he had practically told me that he would have me tonight.

  I gently pulled out everything from within the bag and my eyes fell to my favorite purchase of the day; a dusty pink panty and bra set with a matching silk gown that sat mid-thigh.

  Excitement quivered within me as I stepped into the skimpy panties and clasped the bra around my body, the soft tone of the pink complementing the olive of my skin. Pulling the gown over my shoulders, I sighed as the lace and silk caressed my body and swam around my mid-thigh. I stepped in front of the mirror and my gaze roamed over my body illuminated by the candles that Ky had lit. I felt like a goddess ready to present to her god. I swallowed breath after breath and silently chanted to myself ‘you can do this Eden’.

  With my head held high and my eyes fixed squarely on the candlelight flickering on the walls of the hall, I moved through like a silent assassin. I stepped out into the living room and through the room lit only by candles I found Ky standing by the window, looking out over the ocean in complete thought.

  “Fuck!” he hissed as his eyes roamed wildly over my body in the reflection of the glass. “Please for the love of God turn around and say no.”

  My stomach fluttered with a swarm of butterflies. “I don’t want to say no. I want to say yes Ky. Let me say yes.”

  Within a flash of movement, his arm was around my waist and his hand wrapped around the back of my neck as his mouth pressed furiously against mine. Pulling my bottom lip between his teeth, I whimpered as pain and pleasure took over my body. My heart thundered in my chest with want. His tongue swept through my mouth, tangling passionately with mine in a fire that had been smoldering for weeks. I gripped hold of his shirt, pulling his body as close to mine as I could, frantic to feel the ridges of his chest against the curves of mine. We stumbled through the apartment, using the candlelight as a guide. His hands gripped firmly on my ass then lifted me from my feet and my legs firmly locked around his waist. The feeling of his growing erection rubbing against my heat caused me to break the kiss and my head fell to his shoulder as pleasure I craved roared to life within me. My body took over when my mind decided to cease to exist. I started slowly moving my hips, grinding myself against him, begging for release.

  My body screamed at me. I craved the feeling of the perfect ache between my thighs; I wanted to lose my breath with a man above me, below me, and behind me; I wanted the feeling of being owned in the way a princess would be owned by her prince, and I wanted Ky Crawford to be that man. I needed Ky to be that man. The fear of my past haunted me, it consumed me, it penetrated so deeply in my soul that I had only allowed five people to know the true extent of what happened to me—my parents, the lovely police office, my lawyer, and Tori but here I was considering the most intimate of things with a man.

  “Please Ky,” I groaned into his shoulder and lightly nipped his skin with my teeth.

  My body dropped to the comfort of his bed, and his body hovered over mine. His eyes grew dark with lust as he took in my flushed cheeks and swollen lips. “I want to taste you Eden, I want to get drunk in your scent, but more than anything, I need to be inside you.”

  My eager hands ran under his shirt, connecting with his heated skin. He stayed silent as I undressed him, and his eyes never left mine. Once his shirt was discarded, he slowly and torturously pushed open my gown and unclasped my bra. With precision hands, he slid the gown and bra off my shoulders until I was left bare in front of him.

  “You are beyond perfection Eden and for every minute I have you I am going to cherish you like you are my very last breath.”

  His mouth fell to my nipple, and I gasped as fire rose within me. His tongue swirled and cherished my hardened peak while his hand ran along my thigh and pushed open my legs. The sensation of his mouth devouring mine and hand sweeping over my body caused my breathing to stop.

  “You’re so wet baby,” he moaned against my flesh as his hand slipped into the front of my panties and his finger began teasing me so devastatingly gentle. My hips lifted from the bed, pressing harder against his hand craving for more and then with the tiniest scrape of his teeth against my nipple he took me to all new heights.

  “Ky please,” I begged through heated words. He pulled his mouth away and the most deliciously seductive smirk pulled on his lips.

  His hands made quick work of my panties, sliding them down my thighs and throwing them to the floor. I was completely on display to his prying eyes and as they took in all of me, I had never felt more vulnerable yet completely at ease.

  The moment he reached for his pants and then his wallet, I found my voice.

  “Stop.”

  Once the word left my mouth he froze above me and his face twisted in agony as he looked back at me.

  “I’m so sorry Eden, I shouldn’t have done this,” he apologized with words pained with devastation and started pulling away from me and l
ifting his body from mine.

  What the hell was he doing?

  I grabbed his arm and stopped his escape. I swallowed hard, desperate to draw in some confidence. “If we are going to do this, I want to experience everything with you Ky. I want to undress you, I want to worship you, and I don’t want anything separating us.”

  “What?” he breathed out as he ran his finger along my jaw and over my lips. His eyes were vibrant and latched fiercely on mine. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  My hand wrapped around the back of his head, my fingertips running through the edges of his hair. “Please, let me feel you. I need to feel you inside me. All of you.”

  Suddenly his face went serious. “Are you on birth control? I’m clean, completely, but we have to be safe.”

  “I am, never miss a day.”

  That’s all the reassurance he needed.

  Ky’s lips crashed to mine with wild abandon and took away my deepest insecurities with a lash of his tongue. Kissing him was like having kryptonite pushed into veins. Pulling me in and ceasing my ability to escape. With one kiss he could completely own me; mind, body and soul. I felt myself falling into his body and his arms encased me tightly before I crashed. His lips left from my mouth before kissing my jaw and neck with softness that felt like the caress of cotton left wetness along my jawbone and neck as he moved toward my ear. His heated breath on my earlobe caused a deep sigh to escape me.

  “Are you sure because once we start I won’t be able to stop.”

  “I don’t want you to stop.”

  My hands trembled as they ran over his warm skin, over his shoulders and down the muscles of his back. My breathing hitched in a mixture of nerves, lust, and anticipation as my fingernails ran the length of his back. His lips peppered along my collarbones, nibbling my sensitive flesh occasionally, and I loved every minute of it. He pulled his mouth away and pushed back to gaze at me. Everything that I wanted to witness on his face looked back at me.

  Protectiveness, compassion, lust, and want.

  “You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

  His teeth nibbled my bottom lip, and the moment I opened my lips to gain a desperate breath, his tongue slipped in claiming ownership. His body moved over mine as my hands fumbled between us. I popped open the button of his jeans and slid down the zipper. Ky lifted his hips, allowing me to slide his jeans and boxer briefs down his thighs.

  I sighed at the loss of contact when he lifted himself from my body and removed his jeans. My eyes fell to his throbbing cock and desperation flooded me. I want to feel him, to connect with him in every way possible. I felt like a girl about to experience her first time. My body arched into his, pulling him back to my mine. Skin to skin, heat to heat, heart to heart we became a mass of need, lust, want, and passion.

  “Are you ready?” he murmured against my lips. I nodded, unable to find words. “We do this however you want.”

  The head of his cock met my entrance, and I sucked in a sharp breath. He watched me so intently almost as if waiting for me to break. I nodded, and he inched in slowly, excruciatingly slowly.

  “Ky, please. You won’t hurt me.”

  All of a sudden, he wrapped his arms around my waist and flipped me over until I was straddling him. He looked up at me through hooded eyes.

  “You control this Eden. Take what you can. I’ve wanted to be inside of you for so long so I need you to control that first moment otherwise I will pound into you so hard that it will hurt.”

  My hand wrapped around his thick eager cock. My thumb swept over the head, massaging the pre-come that glistened in front of me. Ky groaned under my touch, and his eyes rolled back in his head. His hand moved between my legs, and I gasped loudly as one finger and then two slid inside me. His fingers pumped deep within me and matched my stroke of his cock and soon I was tethering on the edge of ecstasy. I felt the moisture pooling between my thighs as I shifted until the head of his cock graced my entrance once again. I lowered myself slowly; the thickness of his shaft stretched my walls to capacity. The feeling that swept through my body was so foreign; the need, the desire, the want to be completely owned and worshiped. He slid his hands up my body until his strong hands cupped my heavy breasts. The moment his thumbs began their assault on my hardened nipples, I slid down on his cock, completely filling myself with everything he was. My cry at the sensation of being completely full echoed through the room as the sound of pounding rain outside intensified the room.

  “Fuck Eden!” Ky growled and his hands left my breasts and fell to my hips, holding me in place. I stilled, allowing his thickness and the intensity of the moment to flood through me. “You feel amazing.”

  In one swift motion I was on my back again, Ky still completely filling me. His mouth fell to mine and just as his tongue met mine I felt him move. He slid out and back in, slowly, too slowly.

  “I want this Ky. Fuck me like you want to fuck me. You won’t break me. I am pretty sure I begged for this last night.” I smirked up at him, and his eyes immediately darkened.

  A billion fireworks went off inside my body the moment he thrust into me; he was so deep that I felt him at the very end of me. Frenzy erupted and he gripped my hips then wrapped one of my legs around him giving him greater access which allowed him to go even deeper. Everything around me dissipated into a sea of twinkling stars and bright lights as I quickly entered into a pleasure I could never have imagined. I moaned in delight as he continued to hit my most vulnerable place over and over again. Our breathing echoed together and the sound of our bodies connecting and combining as one filled the air. Ky buried his face in my neck and his heavy breathing bounced off my sweaty skin. My nails dragged down the flesh of his back and grabbed hold of the cheeks of his ass as I desperately tried to get closer to him. He growled against my neck and increased the ferocity of his pounding. My muscles clenched, and I knew that I was close.

  I finally felt a freedom I had craved for the last four years.

  Ky’s lust fueled growl grabbed hold of my attention. “Babe, I’m close. Are you sure you want this?”

  We locked eyes as I spoke. “I want to feel all of you. We are safe.”

  “Look at me when you come. I need to see you come.” His hands cupped my face and we locked into an intense stare-off. At that moment I knew that I was stepping into unchartered waters.

  He slowed his pace but slammed deep allowing me to raise my hips to grind against him. My chest tightened and my breathing ceased to exist as my muscles clenched aggressively; an explosive orgasm ripped through my body making me shatter into a million pieces around him. The world as I knew it ceased to exist in that moment.

  “Jesus, fuck!” Ky growled against me, and I felt the exact moment when he exploded within me, filling me with everything he was. I gasped at the sensation of being completely engrossed by him, at the feeling of connection; I couldn’t ignore the feeling of heaviness that lingered over my heart. There were only two weeks left of December, two weeks of being in his company, two weeks of being the new Eden Rivers.

  Our breathing filled the air as we both tried desperately to gain control. Ky’s mouth dropped to mine in a sweet engaging kiss and wrapped his arms around my body pulling me close so there was no space between us. I could still feel him still deep within me, our connection not yet lost and I felt myself slipping into an unimaginable state of bliss.

  The last thing I heard was Ky’s deep voice whispering in my ear.

  “You completely own me Eden Rivers.”

  ••••

  Soft, delicate fingertips swept over my still tingling lips, drawing me from my peaceful slumber in the arms of the man who took me places I never dreamed of reaching. My eyes slowly fluttered open, trying to adjust to the darkness of his bedroom. I shifted my head and through the flicker of candlelight my eyes found Ky’s worry-etched face watching me closely. His brow pulled in concentration and he gnawed on his bottom lip as his eyes searched mine.

  “Are you feeling okay??
?? he asked softly, scooting closer to me so our naked chests collided. My body hummed, and I winced as a deep ache filled me, showing me exactly where he had finally been.

  “I feel amazing.”

  I dropped my eyes from his intense gaze and rolled onto my back to stretch. I knew I’d be feeling him for days. Sex had been forced into my life—from my very first experience—causing me to fear it, to despise it, to avoid it. I never thought this kind of sex existed, I never wanted to believe that it existed. The thought that this type of sex, the type where I was cherished, protected, loved, and admired, could be mine was never ever imagined.

  “What’s going through that pretty head of yours?”

  I rolled to my side and propped up my head with my hand. The man beside me allowed me to switch on my life again, and was quickly becoming the person who made me feel like I was becoming myself, but who was I to begin with?

  “I never knew it could be like that,” I whispered in pure honesty and felt his arms tighten around me. “You make me feel so special Ky. You make me feel free.”

  Perfection wasn’t the word to describe what I had just experienced. I wasn’t sure there was any word in the English dictionary that could explain the feelings aligning within my body, the feeling of complete connection with her on every level possible.

  “Let’s take a bath,” I whispered heatedly as my eyes raked over her still naked body. The glimmer of my come still lingering between her thighs immediately caused my cock to thicken at the thought of having marked her as mine. My arms wrapped around her waist and I lifted her from the bed and walked toward the bathroom. The shriek that left her still swollen lips when I delicately placed her on the porcelain vanity filled the empty room. I felt her eyes watching my every move, and I loved the thought of being under her heated gaze. Everything had changed tonight. I fought back the urge to be with her but everything was lost the moment I had seen her in that lingerie. My heart had beaten my head once again.