What They Left Behind

The next day she didn’t return to work. She couldn’t stand the thought of hearing that guy’s voice again, or even worse, running into him. She just stayed home, wore her nightgown all day, and played with Michele. On the second day, the phone rang all morning and by eleven o’clock Gennie pulled its cord out of the wall. She didn’t change her clothes that day either. By the third day, Rory was concerned.

  “You must be awfully sick,” he said. “You’ve never taken a sick day and now you’ve taken three in a row.”

  “I’m not going back.”

  You’re not? Why?”

  She was tempted to tell him what had happened to her there, but quickly put it out of her mind. She had to make up a good reason, though.

  “Well…” she replied, “I want to spend more time with Michele.”

  Rory nodded in understanding. “I knew that would get to you after a while. Take as much time as you need, hon.”

  “Aren’t you going to miss the income?”

  “That’s not important to me. As long as we have enough money to pay the bills, it’s not a problem.”

  Gennie sighed. “Maybe I can take up my old hobby.”

  “If you want,” Rory said.

  Gennie didn’t think she would enjoy being out of work, but she did. It was nice to have the freedom to do whatever she wanted. On the fourth day, she took Michele to The Sweet Stop for ice cream. The day after that they went to the L.A. Zoo. That weekend, she perused the classifieds for a cheap car she could fix up. She found one, a 1957 Cadillac Fleetwood for a hundred and ninety dollars. She called the number, that day they went to see it and she bought it on the spot and drove it home.

  For three hours in the early morning, while Michele was still asleep, she worked on the car. Fixing the car took all of her attention and helped her forget about the attack for a while. Other than those three hours, it was always on her mind, especially at night. Now she felt extremely uncomfortable when Rory was turned on and usually rejected his advances. She knew Rory was frustrated but he was doing his best not to show it. The pilot of his show, called In Pursuit, was picked up by NBC and they ordered a whole season’s worth of episodes. He talked about Serena a lot after he came home from the studio and Gennie suspected he had a crush on her. She wasn’t jealous in the least. Actually, she was hoping Rory would have an affair with her, so he would stop pestering her in the bedroom.

  If sex was bad, going to sleep was worse. The house was very quiet at night and every little creak would make her heart jump out of her chest. It was also the time her mind would replay the attack over and over. Usually, she would end up in tears, and would swallow a couple of sleeping pills just so she could have a few hours’ rest.

  Christmas was rolling around again, and Gennie spent the day decorating and wrapping presents. Rory returned home from the last day of shooting before Christmas break in a foul mood. They barely talked to each other all day.

  It was almost midnight and Gennie was already in bed when Rory walked over to her side and stared down at her.

  “I’ve got to ask you a question,” he said, sounding like he was ready for a confrontation.

  “Okay, go ahead,” Gennie replied.

  “Why don’t you want sex anymore?”

  Not wanting her body language to belie her panic, she shrugged.

  “Don’t give me that,” he said, raising his voice in annoyance. “I want to know right now. I haven’t had any since last year. I’m practically a virgin again for chrissakes.”

  Gennie didn’t answer him. She turned around in bed and closed her eyes, hoping he would drop the subject.

  “Is it something to do with me?” he asked. “Am I not doing things right? What’s changed?”

  “No, of course not. Everything’s fine.”

  “Are you seeing someone else?”

  “No!”

  “Then why don’t you want sex anymore?”

  She turned back around.

  “I’m not interested, that’s all. It has nothing to do with you. I just don’t feel like it anymore.”

  “Well, I talked to Serena about it today, and she said you had a big problem.”

  Gennie’s mouth dropped open. “You talked to Serena about our personal life?”

  “I didn’t want to, but I felt funny going to my parents about it…and well…I’m very comfortable around Serena. I thought she might have some insight on our problem.”

  Gennie felt the heat rise to her face. “If you’re so comfortable with her, why don’t you fuck her?”

  Rory’s eyebrows rose. He looked shocked and hurt. “I’m sorry, but I had nowhere to turn. Gennie…I’m not going to have an affair with Serena. You’re the one I love.”

  She couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. A huge wail rose from her throat.

  “Oh god,” Rory said, embracing her. “I knew I did something wrong.”

  “I told you,” she sobbed. “It’s not about you.”

  “Then what is it?”

  She couldn’t answer him. She just cried harder, her tears making her green and beige striped pillow case wet.

  “It’s got to be about something,” Rory said. “What happened?”

  Gennie realized she had no choice but to tell him. Otherwise, the incident would end up destroying their marriage.

  She gulped. “Something did happen, Rory. But before I tell you, can you promise me one thing?”

  “Sure.”

  “Please don’t be angry with me.”

  “All right. I promise. I don’t care what it is. I just want to know so we can work this out.”

  “Well…the reason I’m not interested anymore is because…uh…I was attacked.”

  “Attacked? By who?”

  “This guy at work.”

  “Who?”

  “I don’t know. He worked in the same building that I did, but I don’t know his name.”

  “Did he…you know?”

  Gennie nodded. “Yes and it hurt!”

  They didn’t say anything to each other for a long time. Rory broke the silence.

  “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

  “I just thought I would forget about it, but I can’t, and…I thought you would be mad at me.”

  “I know it’s not your fault. The one I’m mad at is the guy that hurt you. If he were here right now, I’d rip his head off. If you knew his name, I’d go down there, have him paged, then beat the living shit out of him. So that’s why you quit work, huh?”

  “Yeah.”

  Rory lifted her up and held her. “I’m sorry I bothered you so much. If I had known that had happened…”

  “Don’t blame yourself for this.”

  He kissed her on the lips. “Is it all right if we cuddle instead?”

  “Okay,” Gennie said tentatively. She thought telling him would make her feel worse; instead, it felt like a thousand pound weight was lifted off her chest. “I’d do anything to get back to normal.”

  Chapter 49: February 3, 1976 San Francisco