Run the Risk

  Later that afternoon, I decided to knock on Alex’s door. “Can I come in?”

  “No.”

  I opened the door anyway. He was sitting on his bed, texting. “Get out of here. I’m busy.”

  “You are? Well, I was busy too. I was at Compass when I got the call to come and get you. Do you know how humiliating it is to have to leave because my brother’s been arrested? How do you think it makes me look?”

  He waved a hand. “Tell them I’m not getting charged. It’s all good.”

  “It’s not all good. Why the hell would you go after Leon? He was your friend!”

  Alex’s lips tightened. “He was talking shit about me. He needed to learn some respect. I gotta say, Leon might be a pussy, but he ain’t no snitch. I’m proud of him.”

  “I can’t believe you hurt Leon. Are you crazy?”

  “Of course I am.” He smiled. “That’s why we call ourselves Locos.”

  I stared at him. So he was finally admitting it. “Did one of your Locos buddies tell you to go after Leon?”

  “My guys know how it is. If people don’t give you respect, you gotta make them.”

  I gritted my teeth. “If you keep listening to them, you’ll end up locked up. Didn’t you hear a thing the cop said?”

  He sneered. “All I know is, my boy Animale is right.” He got up, looming over me, his hand grasping the door handle. “Sisters are naggy bitches.”

  “Why don’t you tell Animale to come over and say it to my face?”

  “Fuck you.”

  I jumped back as he slammed the door.

  OUR LITTLE SECRET

  “YOU’RE HUMAN,” FEENIX COMFORTED ME that night at the theater. She could tell the minute I walked in that something was wrong, but we couldn’t talk about it until after the first rush of customers. “Give yourself a break, Grace.” She put an arm around me. “Maybe losing your shit is what it takes to wake him up.”

  I shook my head. “It won’t. I know how his mind works. He thinks my life’s purpose is to ruin his.”

  “That’s fucked-up. He’s the one who made you lose your college acceptance.”

  “Exactly!”

  “You can use this, you know. Everything that pisses you off—stick it in your poetry and dump it on the stage.”

  “Nice imagery. That’s what you do, right?”

  She nodded. “Your last poem was amazing. What got you writing about death anyway?”

  I shrugged. “Life. The wonder and the suckage.”

  “Speaking of the suckage, have your lights gone out yet?”

  “No. I haven’t heard from Dad. We’ve got until tomorrow to pay it.”

  “I wish I had the cash to help you out. You have to ask Luke to advance your pay.”

  Nerves balled in my stomach. I hadn’t asked him for help since last year when my dad’s absent-mindedness left us late on several bills. I’d gone to the Cash Stop a couple of times for an advance, but they took huge commissions. When I’d told Luke, he’d forbidden me from ever going to those “crook businesses” again, and said he would advance my check whenever I needed it.

  “I really don’t want to.”

  She glared at me. “That’s pride talking.”

  “I know, but I don’t want—”

  She covered her ears. “Pride. Pride. Pr—”

  “Fine. I’ll ask him.”

  “Good. He’s in his office right now. Perfect opportunity. Go on. Go.” She pushed me out the swinging door of the pretzel booth.

  Feenix was right. Unlike my problems with Alex, this was a problem that could be solved.

  Compared to Luke’s perfect apartment, his office was small and cluttered. There were too many filing cabinets and a pyramid of paper on his desk. He claimed to know where everything was, but I wasn’t sure I believed him. The walls held half a dozen pictures of Luke posing with celebrities who’d visited the theater. In here, he kept the minor celebs; the bigger ones, like Pitbull, Gloria and Emilio Estefan, and the mayor, were hung near the entrance.

  Luke looked up from his desk and smiled. “Grace, what’s up?” He waved me in, sipping a frothy macchiato.

  “I’m sorry to ask this, but I was wondering if I could have an advance on my paycheck. We’re behind on the electric bill.”

  His smile faded.

  “Since we get paid Monday, it’s just five days in advance,” I said quickly.

  “No problem. I’m happy to help you out. I’m just sorry you’re in this situation again. How much?”

  “The bill is ninety-six twenty, so a hundred would be good.”

  He opened his desk drawer and took some money from an envelope, counting it. “Here’s one forty. A little extra in case something comes up in the next few days.”

  “Thanks.” I carefully folded the money and put it deep into the pocket of my jeans. “I really appreciate it.”

  “Hey, I’m just lending you your own money. No big deal.”

  “It’s a big deal to me. Thanks again.” I turned to leave his office.

  “Wait. Take a load off for a minute.” He leaned back in his chair and gestured for me to sit. “Talk to me. How’s your family?”

  I sighed inwardly and sat down, knowing he expected more than some flip answer. “Dad’s still trucking, long-haul mostly. The upside is that the money’s better, but he’s away for longer stints. He also found himself a girlfriend in Atlanta, so he spends time there too.”

  Luke gave a sympathetic nod. “When I was your age, I was pretty much on my own too. But I didn’t take the high road like you. Had no work ethic. Was too damn stubborn to ask for help. Got involved with a group that offered me everything I wanted and more. I’m sure you remember where it led me.”

  Jail. I nodded.

  “I’m just saying, anytime things get bad, let me know. If I can’t help out people now and then, I’m a spoiled-ass jerk.”

  “Never. You earned your money. You deserve it.”

  He smiled. “I guess. Nothing was ever handed to me and nothing came easy. But here I am.”

  It was pretty incredible that he was so successful at his age, and he knew it. “You should be in the ‘30 under 30.’”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “I’d have no complaints.” When he stopped laughing, his eyes lingered on my face for an extra beat.

  I felt a twist of attraction. He was an undeniably hot guy, and you’d have to be a cold-blooded zombie not to notice.

  “I’d better get back.”

  I headed to the pretzel booth and updated Feenix on the money. The late-show rush kept us busy, which was a good thing. Time went by faster.

  Feenix left first, and it was my turn to stay the extra few minutes for the cleanup. As I was doing the counters, a text came up from Dad.

  Paid the bill. Sorry for scare.

  Seriously? After I’d spilled my guts to Luke, he pays the bill after all?

  I wondered what I should do. Go see Luke and tell him it was for nothing? Or keep the money and not mention it?

  I’d better give the money back. It would save him having to deduct it from my check. I wanted him to know that I would ask for an advance only when I really needed it.

  Closing up the booth, I headed back to Luke’s office. The door was slightly ajar, so I gently knocked as I pushed it open.

  Mateo was rifling around in Luke’s desk. He stiffened, then closed the drawer.

  “Luke said my pay stub was in there,” he said casually. “Do you know where he keeps them?”

  It was a good lie. If I hadn’t known that Luke sent our pay stubs over email, I’d have believed it. But Mateo was too new to know that.

  “We don’t get paper pay stubs. What are you really doing?”

  Our eyes locked.

  He didn’t blink. If this were a staring contest, he’d win.

  Luke’s petty-cash envelope came to mind. Why else would he be in Luke’s office by himself?

  “You’re looking for cash, aren’t you?”

 
Mateo’s expression stayed blank.

  Something inside me crumbled. Was this who Mateo had become? Someone who’d steal from his new boss?

  Mateo circled the desk to stand in front of me. “We should talk about this.”

  “Since when is my office Party Central?” Luke asked us, arms crossed over his chest.

  Mateo looked at me, a flash of fear in his eyes.

  I handed Luke the curled bills from my pocket. “I was waiting for you to come back. My dad paid the bill an hour ago, so I don’t need it. Thanks for helping me out.”

  Luke waved a hand. “Keep it. I already had Eddie deduct it from your pay. No harm, no foul.”

  I nodded. “Okay.” To Mateo, I said, “Let’s go. I’ll chip in for gas.”

  We said good night to Luke and walked out of the office, then into the parking lot. I headed for the bus stop, but he touched my arm. “Come on. I’d better drive you. If he sees you at the bus stop . . .”

  “Right. I get it.”

  We got into his car. Once we’d cleared the parking lot, I spun on him. “How could you? He’s a good person. You can’t just steal from him!”

  “It was a bad call.”

  “A bad call? That’s your defense? This isn’t you, Mateo. You’re not—” I broke off. The guy I used to know. The guy I used to love. Of course he wasn’t.

  “I owe you for covering for me.”

  Yeah, he owed me, all right. Why had I covered for him?

  It was that look in his eyes, damn it. He didn’t just look caught—he looked scared. The bleeding heart in me couldn’t stand it.

  “I haven’t decided if I’m covering for you or not.”

  His head whipped my way. “But—”

  “I didn’t have time to think about it. Luke’s a great boss. He doesn’t deserve to be disrespected like that.”

  “I wouldn’t do it again, trust me.”

  “Trust you? The same way Luke trusts you?”

  His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “You don’t get it.”

  “Then make me.”

  “I need this job.”

  “So do I.” I felt as if, by covering for Mateo, I’d been part of the crime.

  But if I told Luke, he’d freak. He wouldn’t just fire Mateo, he’d probably press charges. Even though, really, he wouldn’t have much of a case against him when Mateo hadn’t actually stolen anything. I had no intention of going to the cops and ratting him out.

  Damn Mateo for putting me in this position.

  We didn’t speak for the rest of the drive. Before I knew it, we were parked in my driveway.

  He cut the engine and turned to me. His face was grim, making his scar seem deeper, uglier. “So what are you gonna do?”

  “I have to think about it.”

  “If you’re gonna change your mind about covering for me, I need to know.”

  “You’re not the one who should be making demands.”

  I saw a light turn on inside the living room. Alex was home. Yet another situation I wasn’t looking forward to.

  Then it hit me.

  “I’ll keep your secret on two conditions,” I said, meeting his gaze.

  His eyes narrowed suspiciously.

  “You’ll never try to steal from Luke again.”

  He crossed his heart. “Done. What’s the other one?”

  I looked at the light illuminating the living room. Part of me hesitated. It might be a bad idea. A total disaster. But the other part urged me to go for it. “My brother.”

  “What about him?”

  “Alex is out of control—he’s been arrested twice in the past year. He’s hanging around with the Locos gang. There’s this guy, Animale, who seems to be controlling him. Maybe you could help pull him away.”

  “Me? The kid probably doesn’t even remember me.”

  “He does remember you. He always looked up to you.” Mateo had been like a big brother to him. They’d played video games together, competed over who could eat the most chicken wings. Mateo had given him pep talks and taught him how to deal with bullies. He’d been the big brother to Alex that Mig had never been to him.

  “Get to know him again,” I said. “Tell him what it’s like in college.”

  “Chances are, he’ll want to know more about the Reyes than college.”

  “Actually . . . I never told him you joined.”

  He frowned. “You didn’t?”

  I looked down at my jeans, fingering the rip in the knee. “He worshipped the ground you walked on. If I told him, he would’ve been crushed.”

  He was quiet for a moment, taking this in. “If you really want me to do this, you’ll have to let me tell him I used to be a Reyes.” His expression was grim. “It won’t sound pretty, and it won’t sound badass. I promise you that.”

  “Okay then. Tell him what you want.” I took a deep breath. “Just do this for me.”

  “Alex is a smart kid, you know. The second I show up, he’ll figure out why.”

  “Depends how good of an actor you are. From what I saw tonight, you’re real good. He’ll think we’re friends again. He already knows you got hired at Cinema 1. It’s perfect timing.”

  Mateo searched my eyes. “If I do this, you won’t say anything to Luke?”

  I pressed a hand to my chest. “On my life.”

  He reached out, and we shook hands. The simple touch made warmth shoot up my arm, and I quickly pulled my hand back.

  “You got a deal,” he said. “When do we start?”

  “Now.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I was in the kitchen grating cheese for nachos.

  It was surreal.

  Mateo sat in the living room, his long legs propped up on the coffee table. He and Alex were chatting about the Heat and their crappy new point guard.

  The moment Mateo had walked through the door, Alex lit up. It was all I could do not to pump my fist. The hero worship was still there. It didn’t hurt that I’d told him how Mateo had pistol-whipped a guy at the theater last week.

  Smiling to myself, I spread half a bag of tortilla chips over a baking sheet. Next, the salsa, and some sliced olives from a can. I had nothing else to load them up with, so I covered them with lots of cheese.

  I was taking my sweet time. No need to interrupt the conversation.

  Mashing up an avocado, I made guacamole, sprinkling salt and pepper and a little lemon juice. I dumped the rest of the salsa into another bowl. I slid the nachos onto the top rack and turned on the oven light so I could watch the cheese melt. I was in no rush to go back in.

  Creeping toward the kitchen door, I listened. They were still talking sports.

  Good. Mateo wouldn’t be stupid enough to bring up college, choices, gangs, or any of the things he’d eventually need to work into conversations. He had to take his time, build Alex’s trust.

  Build the bromance.

  The conversation changed.

  “So you and my sister, huh?” Alex said.

  “Nah, it’s not like that,” Mateo said. “Been a long time since we hung out. We’re just friends.”

  Alex scoffed.

  I heard Mateo’s laugh. “Back up. I didn’t say I wasn’t hoping to hit that. I’m just saying we can start out as friends. You know how girls are.”

  “I know all about it,” Alex said, as if he were a seasoned player. “Sounds like you got a plan to reel her in.”

  Did I detect a note of protectiveness in Alex’s voice?

  “Yeah, truthfully, I do. I care about that girl. Always have. I wouldn’t mess her around. You don’t have to worry.”

  “Did I say I was? I don’t care what you do with my sister. You and me, we’re cool no matter what.”

  Mateo was playing Alex so perfectly. He’d been right that Alex wouldn’t buy the just friends scenario. Better for Alex to think Mateo was trying to get with me.

  Too bad it wasn’t true.

  Pushing that stupid thought aside, I carried in the nachos.

  The guys chowed
down, barely coming up for air. An odd sense of déjà vu came over me. It might’ve been a scene from our house years ago—except, back then, it would’ve been Mom making the nachos. Sadness rose in my chest, and settled again, in the quiet place in my heart where she still lived.

  I studied Mateo beneath my lashes. Catching him stealing tonight had been a shock to my system. I’d known that he’d changed in four years—I’d already sensed a darkness in him that he hadn’t had before. Stealing was a surprise, though. He’d always been a right-and-wrong, black-and-white type of guy.

  But joining the gang had changed him.

  It didn’t matter who he was now, I told myself. All that mattered was that he could help Alex.

  THE CATCH

  “YOU’RE BLACKMAILING YOUR EX?” KYLIE grinned. “I like it.”

  We were in the yard behind Compass the next morning watching the kids play.

  “What ith blackmail?” Noah lisped. He’d been building a sand castle at our feet.

  Without missing a beat, Kylie leaned down and said, “It’s when you get the mail back because you sent it to the wrong address.”

  He nodded.

  I stifled a laugh. “Glad you approve of my plan.”

  “It’s for the greater good. I saw your face when you got the call yesterday. Broke my heart.”

  The word blackmail sounded so awful. I felt bad about it . . . sort of. I didn’t like that I was holding the threat of snitching over Mateo’s head. But last night had gone so well that I wasn’t going to backtrack. Mateo hadn’t left until after I’d gone to bed. He and Alex had been playing a video game and chatting, just like old times, and they’d hardly noticed when I’d headed upstairs.

  Mateo was Alex’s only hope. Mine too, I realized. If Alex didn’t straighten out, what sort of life was I going to have, dealing with the fallout of his screwups? He’d already thrown off my college plan. What next? If it took blackmailing Mateo to get Alex under control, so be it.

  “Anyway,” Kylie said, brushing a swirl of dark hair off her forehead. “It’s not like Mateo did anything that bad. Swiping a few bucks isn’t the end of the world.”

  “Thwiper no thwiping!” said Noah. “Thwiper no thwiping!”

  “Awww man,” I said, echoing the lines from Dora.