Guy Mannering, Or, the Astrologer — Complete

  CHAPTER XLIX

  The night drave on wi' sangs and clatter, And aye the ale was growing better

  Tam o'Shanter.

  We must now return to Woodbourne, which, it may be remembered, we leftjust after the Colonel had given some directions to his confidentialservant. When he returned, his absence of mind, and an unusualexpression of thought and anxiety upon his features, struck the ladies,whom he joined in the drawing-room. Mannering was not, however, a manto be questioned, even by those whom he most loved, upon the cause ofthe mental agitation which these signs expressed. The hour of teaarrived, and the party were partaking of that refreshment in silencewhen a carriage drove up to the door, and the bell announced thearrival of a visitor. 'Surely,' said Mannering, 'it is too soon by somehours.'

  There was a short pause, when Barnes, opening the door of the saloon,announced Mr. Pleydell. In marched the lawyer, whose well-brushed blackcoat and well-powdered wig, together with his point ruffles, brown silkstockings, highly-varnished shoes, and gold buckles, exhibited thepains which the old gentleman had taken to prepare his person for theladies' society. He was welcomed by Mannering with a hearty shake bythe hand. 'The very man I wished to see at this moment!'

  'Yes,' said the Counsellor, 'I told you I would take the firstopportunity; so I have ventured to leave the court for a week insession time--no common sacrifice; but I had a notion I could beuseful, and I was to attend a proof here about the same time. But willyou not introduce me to the young ladies? Ah! there is one I shouldhave known at once from her family likeness! Miss Lucy Bertram, mylove, I am most happy to see you.' And he folded her in his arms, andgave her a hearty kiss on each side of the face, to which Lucysubmitted in blushing resignation.

  'On n'arrete pas dans un si beau chemin,' continued the gay oldgentleman, and, as the Colonel presented him to Julia, took the sameliberty with that fair lady's cheek. Julia laughed, coloured, anddisengaged herself. 'I beg a thousand pardons,' said the lawyer, with abow which was not at all professionally awkward; 'age and old fashionsgive privileges, and I can hardly say whether I am most sorry just nowat being too well entitled to claim them at all, or happy in havingsuch an opportunity to exercise them so agreeably.'

  'Upon my word, sir,' said Miss Mannering, laughing, 'if you make suchflattering apologies we shall begin to doubt whether we can admit youto shelter yourself under your alleged qualifications.'

  'I can assure you, Julia,' said the Colonel, 'you are perfectly right.My friend the Counsellor is a dangerous person; the last time I had thepleasure of seeing him he was closeted with a fair lady who had grantedhim a tete-a-tete at eight in the morning.'

  'Ay, but, Colonel,' said the Counsellor, 'you should add, I was moreindebted to my chocolate than my charms for so distinguished a favourfrom a person of such propriety of demeanour as Mrs. Rebecca.'

  'And that should remind me, Mr. Pleydell,' said Julia, 'to offer youtea; that is, supposing you have dined.'

  'Anything, Miss Mannering, from your hands,' answered the gallantjurisconsult; 'yes, I have dined; that is to say, as people dine at aScotch inn.'

  'And that is indifferently enough,' said the Colonel, with his handupon the bell-handle; 'give me leave to order something.'

  'Why, to say truth, 'replied Mr. Pleydell, 'I had rather not. I havebeen inquiring into that matter, for you must know I stopped an instantbelow to pull off my boot-hose, "a world too wide for my shrunkshanks,"' glancing down with some complacency upon limbs which lookedvery well for his time of life, 'and I had some conversation with yourBarnes and a very intelligent person whom I presume to be thehousekeeper; and it was settled among us, tota re perspecta,--I begMiss Mannering's pardon for my Latin,--that the old lady should add toyour light family supper the more substantial refreshment of a brace ofwild ducks. I told her (always under deep submission) my poor thoughtsabout the sauce, which concurred exactly with her own; and, if youplease, I would rather wait till they are ready before eating anythingsolid.'

  'And we will anticipate our usual hour of supper,' said the Colonel.

  'With all my heart,' said Pleydell, 'providing I do not lose theladies' company a moment the sooner. I am of counsel with my old friendBurnet; [Footnote: See Note 5] I love the coena, the supper of theancients, the pleasant meal and social glass that wash out of one'smind the cobwebs that business or gloom have been spinning in ourbrains all day.'

  The vivacity of Mr. Pleydell's look and manner, and the quietness withwhich he made himself at home on the subject of his little epicureancomforts, amused the ladies, but particularly Miss Mannering, whoimmediately gave the Counsellor a great deal of flattering attention;and more pretty things were said on both sides during the service ofthe tea-table than we have leisure to repeat.

  As soon as this was over, Mannering led the Counsellor by the arm intoa small study which opened from the saloon, and where, according to thecustom of the family, there were always lights and a good fire in theevening.

  'I see,'said Mr. Pleydell, 'you have got something to tell me about theEllangowan business. Is it terrestrial or celestial? What says mymilitary Albumazar? Have you calculated the course of futurity? haveyou consulted your ephemerides, your almochoden, your almuten?'

  'No, truly, Counsellor,' replied Mannering, 'you are the only Ptolemy Iintend to resort to upon the present occasion. A second Prospero, Ihave broken my staff and drowned my book far beyond plummet depth. ButI have great news notwithstanding. Meg Merrilies, our Egyptian sibyl,has appeared to the Dominie this very day, and, as I conjecture, hasfrightened the honest man not a little.'

  'Indeed?'

  'Ay, and she has done me the honour to open a correspondence with me,supposing me to be as deep in astrological mysteries as when we firstmet. Here is her scroll, delivered to me by the Dominie.'

  Pleydell put on his spectacles. 'A vile greasy scrawl, indeed; and theletters are uncial or semi-uncial, as somebody calls your large texthand, and in size and perpendicularity resemble the ribs of a roastedpig; I can hardly make it out.'

  'Read aloud,' said Mannering.

  'I will try,' answered the Lawyer. '"YOU ARE A GOOD SEEKER, BUT A BADFINDER; YOU SET YOURSELF TO PROP A FALLING HOUSE, BUT HAD A GEY GUESSIT WOULD RISE AGAIN. LEND YOUR HAND TO THE WORK THAT'S NEAR, AS YOULENT YOUR EE TO THE WEIRD THAT WAS FAR. HAVE A CARRIAGE THIS NIGHT BYTEN O'CLOCK AT THE END OF THE CROOKED DYKES AT PORTANFERRY, AND LET ITBRING THE FOLK TO WOODBOURNE THAT SHALL ASK THEM, IF THEY BE THERE INGOD'S NAME."--Stay, here follows some poetry--

  "DARK SHALL BE LIGHT, AND WRONG DONE TO RIGHT, WHEN BERTRAM'S RIGHT AND BERTRAM'S MIGHT SHALL MEET ON ELLANGOWAN'S HEIGHT."

  A most mystic epistle truly, and closes in a vein of poetry worthy ofthe Cumaean sibyl. And what have you done?'

  'Why,' said Mannering, rather reluctantly, 'I was loth to risk anyopportunity of throwing light on this business. The woman is perhapscrazed, and these effusions may arise only from visions of herimagination; but you were of opinion that she knew more of that strangestory than she ever told.'

  'And so,' said Pleydell, 'you sent a carriage to the place named?'

  'You will laugh at me if I own I did,' replied the Colonel.

  'Who, I?' replied the Advocate. 'No, truly, I think it was the wisestthing you could do.'

  'Yes,' answered Mannering, well pleased to have escaped the ridicule heapprehended; 'you know the worst is paying the chaise-hire. I sent apost-chaise and four from Kippletringan, with instructionscorresponding to the letter; the horses will have a long and coldstation on the outpost to-night if our intelligence be false.'

  'Ay, but I think it will prove otherwise,' said the Lawyer. 'This womanhas played a part till she believes it; or, if she be a thorough-pacedimpostor, without a single grain of self-delusion to qualify herknavery, still she may think herself bound to act in character; this Iknow, that I could get nothing out of her by the common modes ofinterrogation, and the wisest thing we can do is to give her anopportunity of making the discovery her own way
. And now have you moreto say, or shall we go to the ladies?'

  'Why, my mind is uncommonly agitated,' answered the Colonel, 'and--butI really have no more to say; only I shall count the minutes till thecarriage returns; but you cannot be expected to be so anxious.'

  'Why, no; use is all in all,' said the more experienced lawyer; 'I ammuch interested certainly, but I think I shall be able to survive theinterval, if the ladies will afford us some music.'

  'And with the assistance of the wild ducks, by and by?' suggestedMannering.

  'True, Colonel; a lawyer's anxiety about the fate of the mostinteresting cause has seldom spoiled either his sleep or digestion.[Footnote: See Note 6.] And yet I shall be very eager to hear therattle of these wheels on their return, notwithstanding.'

  So saying, he rose and led the way into the next room, where MissMannering, at his request, took her seat at the harpsichord, LucyBertram, who sung her native melodies very sweetly, was accompanied byher friend upon the instrument, and Julia afterwards performed some ofScarlatti's sonatas with great brilliancy. The old lawyer, scraping alittle upon the violoncello, and being a member of the gentlemen'sconcert in Edinburgh, was so greatly delighted with this mode ofspending the evening that I doubt if he once thought of the wild ducksuntil Barnes informed the company that supper was ready.

  'Tell Mrs. Allan to have something in readiness,' said the Colonel; 'Iexpect--that is, I hope--perhaps some company may be here to-night; andlet the men sit up, and do not lock the upper gate on the lawn until Idesire you.'

  'Lord, sir,' said Julia, 'whom can you possibly expect to-night?'

  'Why, some persons, strangers to me, talked of calling in the eveningon business,' answered her father, not without embarrassment, for hewould have little brooked a disappointment which might have thrownridicule on his judgment; 'it is quite uncertain.'

  'Well, we shall not pardon them for disturbing our party,' said Julia,'unless they bring as much good-humour and as susceptible hearts as myfriend and admirer, for so he has dubbed himself, Mr. Pleydell.'

  'Ah, Miss Julia,' said Pleydell, offering his arm with an air ofgallantry to conduct her into the eating-room, 'the time has been, whenI returned from Utrecht in the year 1738--'

  'Pray don't talk of it,' answered the young lady; 'we like you muchbetter as you are. Utrecht, in Heaven's name! I daresay you have spentall the intervening years in getting rid so completely of the effectsof your Dutch education.'

  'O forgive me, Miss Mannering,' said the Lawyer, 'the Dutch are a muchmore accomplished people in point of gallantry than their volatileneighbours are willing to admit. They are constant as clock-work intheir attentions.'

  'I should tire of that,' said Julia.

  'Imperturbable in their good temper,' continued Pleydell.

  'Worse and worse,' said the young lady.

  'And then,' said the old beau garcon, 'although for six times threehundred and sixty-five days your swain has placed the capuchin roundyour neck, and the stove under your feet, and driven your little sledgeupon the ice in winter, and your cabriole through the dust in summer,you may dismiss him at once, without reason or apology, upon the twothousand one hundred and ninetieth day, which, according to my hastycalculation, and without reckoning leap-years, will complete the cycleof the supposed adoration, and that without your amiable feelingshaving the slightest occasion to be alarmed for the consequences tothose of Mynheer.'

  'Well,' replied Julia,' that last is truly a Dutch recommendation, Mr.Pleydell; crystal and hearts would lose all their merit in the world ifit were not for their fragility.'

  'Why, upon that point of the argument, Miss Mannering, it is asdifficult to find a heart that will break as a glass that will not; andfor that reason I would press the value of mine own, were it not that Isee Mr. Sampson's eyes have been closed, and his hands clasped for sometime, attending the end of our conference to begin the grace. And, tosay the truth, the appearance of the wild ducks is very appetising.' Sosaying, the worthy Counsellor sat himself to table, and laid aside hisgallantry for awhile to do honour to the good things placed before him.Nothing further is recorded of him for some time, excepting anobservation that the ducks were roasted to a single turn, and that Mrs.Allan's sauce of claret, lemon, and cayenne was beyond praise.

  'I see,' said Miss Mannering, 'I have a formidable rival in Mr.Pleydell's favour, even on the very first night of his avowedadmiration.'

  'Pardon me, my fair lady,' answered the Counsellor, 'your avowed rigouralone has induced me to commit the solecism of eating a good supper inyour presence; how shall I support your frowns without reinforcing mystrength? Upon the same principle, and no other, I will ask permissionto drink wine with you.'

  'This is the fashion of Utrecht also, I suppose, Mr. Pleydell?'

  'Forgive me, madam,' answered the Counsellor; 'the French themselves,the patterns of all that is gallant, term their tavern-keepersrestaurateurs, alluding, doubtless, to the relief they afford thedisconsolate lover when bowed down to the earth by his mistress'sseverity. My own case requires so much relief that I must trouble youfor that other wing, Mr. Sampson, without prejudice to my afterwardsapplying to Miss Bertram for a tart. Be pleased to tear the wing, sir,instead of cutting it off. Mr. Barnes will assist you, Mr. Sampson;thank you, sir; and, Mr. Barnes, a glass of ale, if you please.'

  While the old gentleman, pleased with Miss Mannering's liveliness andattention, rattled away for her amusement and his own, the impatienceof Colonel Mannering began to exceed all bounds. He declined sittingdown at table, under pretence that he never eat supper; and traversedthe parlour in which they were with hasty and impatient steps, nowthrowing up the window to gaze upon the dark lawn, now listening forthe remote sound of the carriage advancing up the avenue. At length, ina feeling of uncontrollable impatience, he left the room, took his hatand cloak, and pursued his walk up the avenue, as if his so doing wouldhasten the approach of those whom he desired to see. 'I really wish,'said Miss Bertram,' Colonel Mannering would not venture out afternightfall. You must have heard, Mr. Pleydell, what a cruel fright wehad.'

  'O, with the smugglers?' replied the Advocate; 'they are old friends ofmine. I was the means of bringing some of them to justice a long timesince, when sheriff of this county.'

  'And then the alarm we had immediately afterwards,' added Miss Bertram,'from the vengeance of one of these wretches.'

  'When young Hazlewood was hurt; I heard of that too.'

  'Imagine, my dear Mr. Pleydell,' continued Lucy, 'how much MissMannering and I were alarmed when a ruffian, equally dreadful for hisgreat strength and the sternness of his features, rushed out upon us!'

  'You must know, Mr. Pleydell,' said Julia, unable to suppress herresentment at this undesigned aspersion of her admirer, 'that youngHazlewood is so handsome in the eyes of the young ladies of thiscountry that they think every person shocking who comes near him.'

  'Oho!' thought Pleydell, who was by profession an observer of tones andgestures,' there's something wrong here between my youngfriends.'--'Well, Miss Mannering, I have not seen young Hazlewood sincehe was a boy, so the ladies may be perfectly right; but I can assureyou, in spite of your scorn, that if you want to see handsome men youmust go to Holland; the prettiest fellow I ever saw was a Dutchman, inspite of his being called Vanbost, or Vanbuster, or some such barbarousname. He will not be quite so handsome now, to be sure.'

  It was now Julia's turn to look a little out of countenance at thechance hit of her learned admirer, but that instant the Colonel enteredthe room. 'I can hear nothing of them yet,' he said; 'still, however,we will not separate. Where is Dominie Sampson?'

  'Here, honoured sir.'

  'What is that book you hold in your hand, Mr. Sampson?'

  'It's even the learned De Lyra, sir. I would crave his honour Mr.Pleydell's judgment, always with his best leisure, to expound adisputed passage.'

  'I am not in the vein, Mr. Sampson,' answered Pleydell; 'here's metalmore attractive. I do not despair to engage these two young ladies
in aglee or a catch, wherein I, even I myself, will adventure myself forthe bass part. Hang De Lyra, man; keep him for a fitter season.'

  The disappointed Dominie shut his ponderous tome, much marvelling inhis mind how a person possessed of the lawyer's erudition could givehis mind to these frivolous toys. But the Counsellor, indifferent tothe high character for learning which he was trifling away, filledhimself a large glass of Burgundy, and, after preluding a little with avoice somewhat the worse for the wear, gave the ladies a courageousinvitation to join in 'We be Three Poor Mariners,' and accomplished hisown part therein with great eclat.

  'Are you not withering your roses with sitting up so late, my youngladies?' said the Colonel.

  'Not a bit, sir,' answered Julia; 'your friend Mr. Pleydell threatensto become a pupil of Mr. Sampson's to-morrow, so we must make the mostof our conquest to-night.'

  This led to another musical trial of skill, and that to livelyconversation. At length, when the solitary sound of one o'clock hadlong since resounded on the ebon ear of night, and the next signal ofthe advance of time was close approaching, Mannering, whose impatiencehad long subsided into disappointment and despair, looked at his watchand said, 'We must now give them up,' when at that instant--But whatthen befell will require a separate chapter.