Time Rocks

  *

  At the city of the river bend people, Vart and I were shown to a small, round hut with white pug walls and a thatched roof. Bed furs on a mud brick bed, a lamp fuelled by animal fat, seasoned firewood, and a clay pot of water were brought to furnish the place. A young woman assigned to be our servant, barked orders at us, as though she thought the contrary was the arrangement. Vart soon lost patience with her and fired her.

  I ventured out on the first night to look around. It is the most remarkable place; the very birthplace of urban life in Britain. There are two large buildings here. The biggest is the temple. I called it an amphitheatre before, but that’s because I didn’t know what it was then, and it does look like one. Next to it is a large round house where Blaith lives. Well actually, he and most of his warriors and their wives and kids, all live there. It’s like a mad house inside, and about as private as Piccadilly Circus. I was in there once and there was this couple going at it like hell’s bells. Crikey! I didn’t know which way to look, but they didn’t seem to mind a bit. They don’t care here. People are not bothered about showing their bits, or doing stuff in public. It makes me feel all – you know? I’ll never get used to it.

  There are lots of smaller houses scattered around. The best are used by Serren and his monks. Others are for people who live here of course, but quite a few are set aside for the dozens of pilgrims that come to the temple, or bring their dead. What happens is this, they have a service in the temple, and then they float the dead bodies down the river on rafts. Most people don't get buried or cremated, that's only for the big wigs.

  But evidently this was the number one holy place for sending the dead over the water. They just float them away and I suppose they get eaten by animals and fish and stuff. Vart told me it’s because of Afon, she’s a goddess and a river too. This is her place. They also worship the Moon and the Sun, that’s Lued and Halo. Lued is the main one. The creepiest one of all is Nertha, the mother goddess. She is this big fat woman with huge breasts and a pregnant belly. Her image is carved taller than a man, on either side of the doorway into the temple. They smear her with mud and blood. She really stinks and she glares like she hates everybody. She has her own priests too. They are absolute crazy loonies. They try to get as filthy as they can. Don’t even ask me what they do with their turds, but let me put it this way - have you ever wondered what people who wore them would look like?

  Vart found out that the new Kafel, that means temple, up at the bear place, is for the moon. They call it Kafel Lued Duhiss. They think I came from the moon, and that’s why they put that big totem up there to mark the spot. Vart says they’ve now started digging a big ditch round it. Guess what? I’ve got a leaflet about Stonehenge and that flippin ditch and everything in my bag. Is that weird or what? Can you imagine if I showed ‘em it?

  Wait a minute! It’s just struck me how unfunny that is. Crikey! It’s no joke at all. I’d better burn it. I hope Vart didn’t see it when he had the bag. I know he had a look inside, because he pinched my last Toblerone.