Sweet Disgrace

  The sound that came from deep in her throat was almost a purr. She forced it to form into words, any words. “Where…where have you…?”

  “Shhh.”

  “I can’t…”

  His knee slipped between her legs. Every nerve in her body jumped, and she almost collapsed. Her heart was racing—such an odd sensation that was—and her mouth ran dry. “You can,” he murmured. Those lips were sliding dangerously close to her own now.

  “You…” she began before he kissed the life from her, so hot and desperate that she ceased meeting him halfway and simply let him ravish her mouth with his. She hadn’t the strength, anyway—it had all fled her the moment she saw him. The hands beside her head clenched into fists, but he made no move to touch her with them. He let his mouth and his tongue and his teeth take complete possession of her senses.

  “You missed me,” he murmured with arrogant assurance that should have made her scoff. But those warm, wet kisses just kept going on and on, and…

  “You hurt me.” The words finally wrenched themselves from her throat before she could stop them. More anger sparked, boiling up from the cold, empty, dead-until-now places in her soul. Damael froze against her, then pulled back, his brow furrowed. “You said you would never hurt me, and you did. You nearly killed me and you left.”

  “They didn’t tell you…?” His voice trailed away and he shook his head at the ceiling as if addressing someone up there directly. She watched him, trying to pinpoint the difference she discerned in him. Something subtle, but definitely there. “Celeste, I thought I was attacking Saklon. I’d just told him I wasn’t handing Adam over to him, and I thought he’d been the one to hit me, not you. I swear it.” He did touch her now, his hands cupping her cheeks as his gaze held hers with burning intensity. “If you believe nothing else I’ve ever said to you, believe that, and one other thing as well…I was the one who took you home again.”

  Oh, such a skilled and perfect liar. She might have believed his first statement—it made sense, and his attack had seemed more reactionary than anything. She could still recall the horror of realizing what was about to happen to her as she’d felt the flare of power from him, aimed in her direction. After that, everything had been a muddle of pain and darkness until she woke in her bed at home surrounded by friends. The idea that Damael had taken her there was preposterous. As if he would ever step foot in Heaven, even if he could.

  “I know you’re lying, and not just because your lips are moving. I wouldn’t be speaking to you right now if that were the truth.”

  “It was quite unpleasant, I assure you. Rather like a fish out of water. But if you throw him back soon enough, he might just make it.”

  “I’m to believe they bothered to throw you back?”

  “They were grateful. I returned something very dear to them. And it cost me…dearly.” He stepped away from her, his eyes hard and…angry? “But I’m not here to talk about what I gave up. I don’t care about that. You’ve given up more than I can possibly imagine.”

  The tears that had been brimming in her eyes spilled over. He stared at them as if transfixed, then reached up to touch one, hesitating before allowing his fingertip to meet her flesh. When it did, he sighed, his shoulders relaxing. With both thumbs, he began caressing the droplets from her face as they fell.

  “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t count on…all this. Yes, I lied to you. I made the offer never intending to give up Adam’s soul. For that you can torture me until Armageddon if you wish.”

  “How do I know the entire thing wasn’t an elaborate set-up between you and that other devil? It was all so sickeningly convenient, his showing up after you got what you wanted from me, to whisk you off to get what you’d really wanted all along.”

  “You can know it wasn’t that way because we wouldn’t have bothered, Celeste. If I didn’t care about you, I’d have taken my pleasure, laughed at you and sucked out Adam’s soul right in front of your eyes. It’s simple fact. Can you honestly dispute that, knowing me as you do?”

  She was loath to admit it—and it didn’t make her feel much better—but he had a point. Why would he bother to save face? The Damael she knew lived to please no one but himself. Until now, at least. “You were really trying to save Adam?”

  “At that point, I wouldn’t have let Saklon take him. I’d have fought him until the deadline passed. The fact you’ve been allowed all this time to think I deliberately hurt you makes me want to pluck every last feather from those bastards you call friends.”

  “Speaking of which, I tried to pretend it didn’t hurt when they stripped my wings. Or when they cast me out. Physically, it didn’t.” The words tumbled out in a rush, aimed at him like daggers. But she didn’t have the strength to sustain her anger any longer. Not with him looking at her which such regret in his eyes. “The humiliation of it—that was another matter entirely. The only thing that got me through it all was thinking about you and how you made me feel when we were together. And how, for the time I was in your arms, it was worth it. I was even stupid enough to think if they could have only sent me to you, I’d have happily suffered whatever other punishments they saw fit to mete out.” Damael began shaking his head, opening his mouth to speak. She laid her fingers on it. “Anything would have been worth enduring if I could have stayed with you, but suffering that humiliation when I didn’t know where you were or if you even cared…”

  He caught her hand gently and pulled it away, lacing his fingers through hers. “Believe me, I cared. But you wouldn’t have been with me if they’d cast you under.”

  “I thought as much. All I’m trying to tell you is that…” She drew a breath, dropping her gaze because she couldn’t look at him as she made the confession. “I love you. I don’t know how it happened, or why, but I can’t deny it any longer.”

  The silence that stretched out was catastrophic. But what had she expected? Did he even have the capacity to love her in return?

  “I suppose that makes me a fool. It can never be, can it? Just as you said before. They’ll never let us be together.” She hated herself for how small her voice sounded. Hated herself for the tears that wouldn’t stop falling.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because of what they did to me for loving you. I’m not here only because I broke a rule saving Adam’s soul.”

  The hand that wasn’t holding hers skimmed up her naked back, his touch feather-light. His fingertips traced the scar inside her left shoulder blade, where one of her wings used to be. There was an identical one on the right.

  “Did they give you any stipulations?” he asked.

  “Well, no, but…you’re a demon, and—”

  He shook his head, gaze steady upon her own. “No, Celeste. I’m mortal.”

  Chapter Eight

  Mortal?

  If the wall hadn’t been behind her, she might have fallen backwards. “How…?”

  “It was the only way your kin could save me. They gave me a choice. I could be cast down to earth as a human being with a clean slate, or I could…fade away. I had to choose fast. I chose this.” His gaze searched her face, and she could only imagine the breathless shock he saw there. No wonder she didn’t sense the familiar malevolence rising off him. No wonder what little light infiltrated her room was reflected in his eyes. She should have noticed that from the start.

  “So you see, Celeste, they still love you, no matter what you did. If they didn’t, they would have let us both shrivel and die right there. But they thought enough of you to show mercy to me, their mortal enemy.”

  “I never doubted they love me. But I don’t understand. Why would you agree to become mortal? You seemed to glory in the darker side of your nature. I would think you’d rather not exist than be stripped of your power.”

  “Isn’t it obvious?” he asked. “This way, there was at least a chance, miniscule as it was, that I might see you again someday.”

  She could only stare, surprise giving way to dawning, im
possible joy. One corner of his mouth tugged upward in a self-deprecating twist.

  “Say something, Celeste. Tell me I didn’t act in vain. You just said you loved me as I was. Now say you love me as I am. If I’d thought you would turn me away, I would have chosen differently.”

  “I love you.” The words burst forth, bypassing her mind. They came straight from her heart, which was pounding in her ears. “I loved you then, I love you now, and I’ll love you always.”

  “Then it was worth it.” He drew her gently into his arms, the only place she’d wanted to be over the past two years. Warmth suffused her, chasing out all the cold, dark places that had settled in. She held him as if he might disappear if she let go.

  “What took you so long to find me?”

  He chuckled. “As grateful as they were, they didn’t see fit to supply me with a road map to get to you. But it seems I have other angelic connections.”

  Celeste lifted her head to look at him. “What?”

  “Your friend appeared to me a week ago. Tanan, I believe? He’s been watching over you. And me too, it seems. He told me where you live. Said he was tired of us both wallowing in misery and grief. I didn’t know angels could be so hostile. He described in great detail exactly what he’d do to me if I hurt you. It sounded most unpleasant. I told him I’ve had worse, but he didn’t have to worry.”

  Tanan, the cad. He could have warned her. “That was you I saw at the concert tonight.”

  “I thought you might be checking up on your charge. It’s really too bad I didn’t manage to reap that one. He would’ve been splendid entertainment for our halls—”

  Laughing, she planted a swift kiss on his lips before he could finish that thought. She couldn’t last one second longer without that sensual mouth on hers, anyway. His tongue quested for entrance, and she gave it, rejoicing in the reactions of her body to his nearness. Just as potent, but earthier, more carnal than she’d known as a spiritual being. Arousal bloomed through her sex, a searing need that demanded to be assuaged.

  He didn’t make her wait, cupping her aching breasts in his palms before bending to draw a peaked nipple into his mouth. Her body could have been made for him, she fit him so perfectly. Clasping his head to her, she tilted hers back against the wall and moaned, arching her body against his.

  One of his fingertips slipped between her legs, stroking too gently over the damp silk of her panties and wringing an anguished cry from her lips. Damael groaned against her, the vibrations of it shivering across her skin. “So wet for me,” he murmured. “You are so beautiful, Celeste, so beautiful it drove me mad. It hurt to look at you and know you couldn’t be mine.”

  But she was his, oh, she was. She couldn’t reply. She was too near coming just from the light pressure of his finger on her clit and the shuddery breath of his words cooling the moisture he’d left on her nipple. He gave the turgid crest another lick and then grasped her hips, whipping her around to face the wall.

  Off balance, she shot her hands out to brace herself. His arms went around her waist from behind, one hand roaming down to cup her mound. Warm lips trailed down her left wing scar. “I’ll spend this lifetime and beyond making this up to you, if you’ll allow me,” he whispered, moving to give the same treatment to the opposite side.

  Twin tears slipped down her cheeks. “I’ll hold you to that.”

  “Hold me to it. And I’ll hold you to me. I love you, Celeste.”

  She could only sob with emotion and anticipation as he knelt behind her, slipping his fingers into the lace edge of her panties and slowly drawing them down over her buttocks as her knees went weak. A trail of kisses followed the panties’ descent, over her cheek and down the back of one thigh. She could hardly stand any longer, trembling with longing and the need for completion. For him. Hard and thrusting into her, filling the emptiness between her legs. Cool air swirled over her newly naked flesh, and at last she stepped out of her underwear only to feel both his hands trail leisurely up the back of her legs. Knowing he was there looking at her so intimately…

  “Damael, please.”

  “Oh, no, sweet angel. We’ve waited too long for this for it to be over too soon.”

  “I know, but…please, I need you. Close to me. Inside me.”

  “And you’ll have me. Don’t move.”

  His hands abandoned her and she glanced back to see him undressing, sweater and jeans flying this way and that. His winding black markings were gone, but other than that he was exactly the same. Lean, toned, breathtaking. She licked her lips at the sight of his cock, erect and ready to fill her up just as she craved. He came back to her and knelt again, putting both hands on her thighs and urging them apart.

  “Have you dreamt of this?” he asked. “I have. Every night since I tasted you for the first time. I couldn’t wait to feel you flowing across my tongue again, so sweet.”

  “Just tonight I was dreaming of you.” She moaned and nearly hyperventilated when his thumbs slipped up between her legs and separated her folds, baring her throbbing core to his sight.

  “What were you dreaming?”

  “We were…oh…” The first flicker of his tongue almost caused her to tumble down on top of him. His grip tightened, at once holding her up and holding her open. But when she stopped speaking, he stopped licking.

  “We were…?” he prompted.

  Damn him. She could hardly catch her breath. Her hips involuntarily thrust back toward him, seeking to regain that lost contact. “We were making love.” He rewarded her with another slow, wet sweep, the stiff tip probing between the lips of her pussy. Just at her entrance, he paused. She shuddered.

  “You were inside me, and it was so good, as good as it was on the beach. I could feel you everywhere. I needed you everywhere. I tried to touch myself and you held my hands down. You bit me. You said I was yours. But I woke up before I came.” Her words had been punctuated with gasps and sighs because he hadn’t stopped again as she spoke.

  “No fear of that last part this time,” he murmured, and having mercy on her, continued to lave her with a precision that left her decimated. He left no millimeter of her untouched by the wicked skill of his tongue. The precariousness of their position made it all the more exciting, and she leaned her forehead against the wall and bit down on a knuckle. The tip of his tongue continued tormenting her, curling through her slit, lapping at the juices she wept for him. One hand released its grip on her and a second later, a fingertip gently entered her.

  She tossed her head back and gasped, lifting the leg he’d let go to give him better access. He rewarded her by slipping in a second finger and sinking his teeth into her buttock. Her body drew him in desperately, gripping and contracting as he slowly thrust in, pulled out. Again. And again. Stretching her. His tongue licked away the sting his teeth had left. He twisted his fingers inside her and curled them forward ever so slightly, brushing something that wrung a choked sound from her throat.

  Startled, she tried to shy away from that sensation, but he held her fast and rubbed the spot with an accuracy that left her in ruins. All at once she was trying to open wider to him, to get more of him inside her, rolling her hips and writhing and oh, God, she was going to…

  The eruption was swift and only seemed to escalate. She quaked and gasped as he slowly continued to work her in deliberate contrast to the frenzied demand of her orgasm. “Deeper,” she cried out. “Please, I need more—”

  “Fuck.” Suddenly, he was standing behind her, urging her legs farther apart. With one ruthless thrust, he drove his cock deep into her shivering depths, wrenching another cry from her lips as her emptiness, her longing, her hunger for him, was at last fulfilled. Words tumbled from her mouth she wouldn’t later remember. His thrusts only spurred her climax higher, and higher, until she leaned her head back against his shoulder and feared she might depart this life right now. Surely no one could feel this way and live. His teeth scored her throat and she reached up to grab a fistful of his silky hair, panting and riding o
ut the earth-shattering pleasure until at last, mercifully, it began to wane.

  Damael tightened his arms around her as she went limp, gently withdrawing from her slick heat. He wasn’t done with her yet—nowhere near it—so he gathered her up and laid her on the bed. Her eyelids cracked open and she sighed as he lowered himself over her, nestling between her thighs.

  “Okay?” he asked, swiping damp strands of hair from her forehead. She nodded languidly, and he aligned his cock with her entrance again. He was still coated and glistening with her wetness, and more of it met him when he pressed forward into her. She gave way so sweetly, gripped him so tightly. Her legs and arms went around him, and she moaned, coming more alive beneath him with each inch he gained. He set the slow pace he’d wanted earlier, sinking all the way to the hilt in the tight squeeze of her drenched pussy, pulling all the way out again. A groan tore itself from his throat, and she answered with a sweet coo, stroking her fingers lightly down his back.

  It was really the only heaven he’d ever need.

  When he’d first awakened alone on the earth, there had been only one thought burning in his mind. Find her. She was the only thing he had to live for. Earthbound angels had come in swiftly to set up his place in the world. He’d kept waiting for them to bring her to him, or at least give him some information about her—did she live? Was she back to work on earth? In Heaven?—but he’d never met more tight-lipped beings in his entire existence. It became very apparent very fast if he wanted her, he was going to have to find her.

  As time wore on, he’d grown more and more frustrated, but he hadn’t given up. She was all that mattered. Tanan had finally appeared to him because in a moment of desperation, he’d stood outside in an empty field and screamed and cursed at the heavens to give her back to him until he’d hardly any voice left. Until the moment that damn angel appeared with the news he wanted to hear, he’d truly begun to think he’d made the wrong choice, doomed to live out his life here without her.