The Healer

  Lisa laughed and hugged her. “Welcome to my wedding.”

  Kate looked around the suite and her smile bloomed. “Really?”

  “I’m getting married tonight. And if you would like to join me, Dave has it all planned.”

  Kate turned a startled gaze toward Dave, who had crossed to join them.

  “Kate O’Malley, will you marry me tonight?” Dave asked softly.

  Her jaw didn’t drop but it quivered. She threw her arms around his neck. He picked her up, holding her tight. “I love you,” he whispered.

  “Yes, I would love to marry you tonight.” She leaned back. “Lisa didn’t give away a clue. You really planned a double wedding?”

  Dave kissed her. “With a lot of help.” He reluctantly lowered her to her feet. He slipped off her pager. “You won’t need this for a week.”

  “Really?”

  He slipped it into his pocket. “Really.”

  Lisa took Kate’s hand. “Come on, Kate. You’ve got to see the dresses. Go cool your heels guys; we’ll be half an hour.” With a lot of laughter Kate was pulled toward the bedroom. Rachel joined them. The dresses were center stage, laid out on the bed. White intricate lace and silk, flowing skirts, and long sleeves—they were exquisite.

  Kate lifted hers up, overwhelmed. “You found it.”

  Rachel handed her sister a tissue. It had taken a series of long phone calls, but they had found the designer of the wedding dress she had marked in the bride’s book. “Dave hasn’t seen it yet. He just gave us a blank check.”

  “How long have you been planning this?”

  “Weeks,” Rachel replied, sharing a smile. “And it has been so much fun. Jennifer loved it.”

  Lisa turned Kate toward the mirror. “Hair first. Marissa is going to do our makeup.”

  They got ready, laughing as they tried to move around the bedroom in their wedding dresses. Rachel helped Marissa move around in her wheelchair and helped her as she did a beautiful job on their makeup.

  “Aren’t we supposed to have a rehearsal or something?” Kate asked as she studied her image in the mirror.

  “Sure.” Lisa stepped into white slippers. “Join Dave and say yes.”

  Kate laughed and picked up her bouquet.

  Rachel stepped out of the bedroom to alert the guests that they were ready.

  Marcus was waiting at the door to escort them. He was giving away the brides. Rachel gave the sign to Adam and he pushed the button on the tape deck. The wedding march filled the room.

  It was hard to tell who was more proud, Dave or Quinn, as they came to meet their brides. The group gathered around the two couples. Rachel joined Jennifer, sitting beside her and just holding her hand, sharing the joy. The ceremony began.

  Rachel had never seen Kate so emotional. Kate struggled not to cry through most of the ceremony even as her smile grew wide. Twice Kate turned and buried her face against Dave’s shoulder. He rested his head against hers, whispering something that drew a silent laugh. For Kate this was a day that would transform her life forever.

  Lisa’s gaze rarely left Quinn’s as they shared a private conversation of their own without needing to say a word.

  Wedding vows were spoken. The O’Malley family expanded. They had been seven, and with Tom they had become eight. Now they were formally ten. Rachel blinked away her tears.

  The couples kissed and on cue Adam started the music and Nathan cheered, a happy little boy that made them all laugh.

  They moved to cut the wedding cakes amid a lot of laughter and photographs.

  Rachel watched Jennifer. She had set her heart on reaching this day. Jennifer was having to conserve her energy, but she was enjoying the evening enormously.

  Cole slipped his arm around Rachel’s shoulders. “Good job, honey.”

  “I’m closing my wedding planning book for a while,” she said. She was incredibly relieved to have this event successfully over.

  The O’Malleys and their guests lingered and laughed and eventually by silent agreement began to disperse. Lisa and Quinn came over to say good night to Jennifer, exchanging a long hug. They were heading to Montana tonight. Dave and Kate came to say farewell and then left for a destination unknown. The other guests followed soon after, with Marcus and Shari taking Marissa and Clare home and Stephen walking down with Ann and her boys.

  Jennifer wisely allowed Tom to help her turn in.

  With Cole’s help Rachel restored the suite to normal. She called the hotel coordinator, who had offered to refrigerate the wedding cakes and transport the wedding dresses. Rachel made arrangements for help to come up in twenty minutes. Only the multitude of roses remained to mark the weddings.

  “They were gorgeous brides,” Rachel remarked, kicking off her shoes.

  Cole draped his tie across the arm of her chair and settled on the couch as she returned the family photo albums to their boxes. “Very. And it was an evening that filled Jennifer with joy.”

  “Part of this is your credit. You suggested the idea.”

  “I enjoy weddings,” he replied, smiling. He reached in his jacket pocket and offered her a small box. “For you.”

  She set aside the photo album and took the small box, surprised. She opened it. There was a gorgeous bracelet inside. She lifted it from the box. On the inside was an inscription: ‘A time to love’ and today’s date. She leaned over and wrapped her arm around his neck. “Thank you,” she whispered, overwhelmed.

  “Come here.” Cole tugged her from the chair to the couch beside him. He took the bracelet and fastened it around her wrist. “This day needed a memory marker.”

  “It’s a beautiful one.”

  His hands cupped her face. “I love you, in my mind where my thoughts reside, in my heart where my emotions live, and in my soul where my dreams are born. I love you.”

  Her smile quivered. She held his gaze, absorbing his expression. He meant it. And part of her began to hope as she never had before in her life. The tears began to fall as her smile grew even wider. “Oh, Cole… I love you too.”

  He wiped her tears for her, his hands gentle.

  She laughed and helped him. “I’m sorry. All I’ve done is cry on you lately.”

  “You’re smiling this time,” he said tenderly, smiling back. “It’s a nice improvement.”

  Cole settled his hands on her shoulders and rubbed his thumbs along her shoulder blades. “I’m old-fashioned, Rae. I want a family with you, and nights watching the stars, and quiet moments like this one at the end of long days.”

  “I’ve longed for such a future.”

  “We’re going to make it together, and it’s going to be special.”

  “I like that word special. A lot.” She kissed him. “My brothers are going to meddle. Or have they already?”

  He chuckled but he didn’t deny it. “I like your brothers. I always have.”

  “You’re going to fit in quite well. I think of them as the chivalrous sort, my brothers. They didn’t have an example; they just had an idea of what a brother was supposed to be. And they have never believed in doing something partway.”

  “Honey, I understand family. I may not have a big one of my own, but I’ve got the big picture down.” He brushed her hair behind her ear. “I like your friends. I like your family. It’s a pretty good beginning.”

  “Where is Gage in that list?”

  “Unique.” Cole smiled. “Rae, I understand Gage. He’s already been hit hard by life. As a result, he’s solid. You can’t intimidate him. You can’t budge him. That’s a man who isn’t going to move from what he decides is right. I like him.”

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t understand.”

  “You have a friend there that is a lifelong friend. But he can still irritate a saint when he’s working on a story.”

  “True.”

  Cole interlaced his fingers with hers. “Are you ready for the next weeks? The next few days?” he asked softly.

  “I have to be.” She tried to capture in words
what had filled her heart in the last days. “We’re a strong family Cole, but if Jennifer dies… You can’t replace the links that will be lost. The scar in this family will be deep and lasting. I don’t know how we rebuild around such a tear.”

  “You’ll adapt.”

  “Eventually. But I worry about how hard that will be and how long it will take.”

  “Rachel, have you ever given up on someone you gave a card to?”

  She looked at him, puzzled. “No.”

  “The very first cards you gave out were to your family. They’ve got your pager number in red. You’ll get your family through this.”

  “It feels like an incredible task.”

  “You’ll get through it.”

  Thirty-nine

  The roses had begun to droop. Rachel made a circle of the hotel suite removing those roses that would not last another day. She’d bring new ones tomorrow. She did her work with care, taking her time on each decision. In the month since the wedding, Jennifer had become bedridden. And with that change, there had been a shift in priorities. Rachel’s pager was somewhere at home, her phone turned off, the rest of her life blocked off from today. She stayed at the hotel now, having taken a room next door to the suite.

  She had been joined at the hotel by all the O’Malley’s. Jennifer refused to let it be a sad gathering. The honeymooners were back, and Jennifer loved listening to the stories they had to tell.

  Tom joined Rachel. He rested his hand on her shoulder and she covered it with her own. She loved this man who loved her sister. He had not slept much in the last week. “The guys said they’d meet you in the coffee shop,” she passed on. Tom had begun the practice of giving Jennifer a gift each night to mark the day. The gifts were lined up on Jennifer’s bedside table, small markers of victory, things to make her smile and laugh and give her joy. He wanted to buy his wife a good piece of jewelry for today, and the guys in the family had offered to keep him company for the excursion. Rachel had a pretty good idea that Tom would not be the only one opening his wallet.

  “I won’t be long.”

  “I brought a book. Don’t feel like you need to hurry.”

  She finished the flowers and straightened pillows, then sorted magazines. Rachel stepped into Jennifer’s room, moving quietly in case her sister was asleep.

  “I’m awake.”

  “I just wanted to see if you needed anything else tonight.”

  Jennifer patted the bed. “Your company,” she whispered.

  Rachel stretched out on the bed beside her sister, tugging over one of the big throw pillows to wrap her arms around. “What are you reading?” Jennifer had her Bible open, resting against her chest.

  “Ephesians. It’s a wonderful book.”

  Jennifer was drifting in and out of sleep, the medication to stop the pain now powerful enough it wasn’t uncommon to have her drift off midsentence. Rachel straightened the edge of the blanket spread over Jennifer, pink and soft, one of her sister’s favorite colors.

  “I was thinking…”

  Rachel waited as Jennifer drifted between asleep and awake.

  “…that heaven will probably be colorful.”

  Rachel rested her chin against her hand. “God likes colors: deep green grass, bright blue sky, vibrant red roses. I bet He made heaven beautiful like that.”

  “I’m ready to go, Rae,” Jennifer said softly.

  Rachel interlaced her fingers with Jennifer’s. Her sister’s hand was chilly. Rachel warmed it with hers. “Tom appreciates every day he has with you.”

  Jennifer smiled. “It’s mutual.” She touched the bracelet Rachel now wore. “Cole is a good man.”

  Rachel knew how blessed she was. “A veteran in a profession of heroes. I love him so much. And the best part is that he loves me too. Do you know how long I’ve waited to be able to say those words?”

  “It makes your heart go mushy,” Jennifer agreed. “You’ll make a wonderful mom someday.”

  Rachel struggled to keep her voice steady. “I wish you were going to be here.”

  Jen’s hand tightened on hers with what little strength she had left. “Tom promised to take very good care of you when you do someday have children; he’ll be your doc a phone call away in my place. I think Cole will be a wonderful father.” Jen’s hand slackened around hers. “Tomorrow, would you ask Stephen to bring over my puppy…” Jen drifted to sleep.

  Rachel stayed holding her hand until the clock on the dresser moved to the top of the hour. She kissed the back of Jennifer’s hand and settled it below the covers, making her sister as comfortable as she could. Rachel moved the Bible and letter Jennifer had been writing to the bedside table. The tears were close but she didn’t let them fall.

  Jesus, give her another night of peaceful sleep, and in the morning a beautiful dawn.

  This family would share her life until her last breath. And there was peace in that for both Jennifer and for them. Peace, and if not acceptance yet, at least peace.

  Tom,

  My dear husband, I love you with every fiber of my being. I’ve told you that a few times and basked in the light of your smile as I do so, but I haven’t written it nearly as much as I should have. I know the lasting value of words. Your letters to me are of priceless value, sentimental and rich in shared memories. The honor of being your wife is hard to convey. There is a picture of life as it was before I met you and a picture of life as it is with you now. The cancer cannot mar what is obvious to all. I’m blessed. In your love I have found joy beyond words.

  Every night you hold my hand to share a prayer with me, and every morning I watch you pray alone. When this pattern began in our marriage, why, I do not remember. But I know an evening is coming when you must pray alone because I will not be there.

  I felt it important to leave with you one last prayer for when that moment comes.

  It’s hard to be alone. I tasted it when my parents died, and as deeply as I grieved for them, I grieved for myself even more. I was alone and I knew it. My knees shook at the idea of facing the world alone. I stiffened my spine and tried, not because I thought I could do it, but because I had no choice.

  God knew. He knew that loneliness.

  “Surely he has borne our grief and carried our sorrows.”

  I walked into Trevor House on the most terrifying morning of my life, and I ended that day still in the same place but with the O’Malley’s for comfort. I didn’t know God until you introduced me to Him, but I understood years later when I met Him just how much He loved me. He acted on my behalf when I didn’t even know He was there. He placed me with the O’Malleys. For years they have been the source of my strength. In years to come, they will be yours.

  I wish I knew what God had planned for the evening of your hardest day. I know it is coming. I am afraid I will be the cause of that deep, dark night.

  My prayer on that night you must pray alone is very simple: I pray for the return of your joy.

  All my love, my beloved,

  Jennifer

  Jennifer woke early Friday with an odd feeling in her chest. The pain that coiled around her back and numbed her legs had not changed, but something else had. Jesus, You woke me early. Why? It was odd to awake with an urgency and yet not have a sense that it was to pray for someone. It was for herself.

  “Tom,” Jennifer called softly.

  He was asleep, the heavy sleep of exhaustion. Jennifer reached over and brushed her hand lightly along his jaw, loving him. He’d been holding her family together even as this day came close. She settled her hand on his pillow. “Tom.”

  He awoke and kissed her palm.

  She loved him so very, very much. He’d filled up her life with so much joy that it brimmed over. She wore the ring he had bought her last night, a simple gold band that was beautiful. “I’d like to go outside.”

  He turned his head and looked at her. She loved him too much not to let him see the truth. Tears filled his eyes. She gently wiped them away.

  He leaned o
ver and kissed her. “I love you.”

  She slid her arms around his neck and returned his kiss. She held him, resting in the depth of that love.

  “I’ll get dressed,” he said softly.

  He took his time with the simple steps of buttoning his shirt, sitting to slip on socks and shoes. Tom wrapped her in a blanket and lifted her from the bed.

  Dawn cracked the sky.

  Tom took her down to the bench near the rose gardens in the park beside the hotel and sat with her in his lap. Jennifer rested her head against his shoulder. “You kept your promise. I cherished every day of our marriage.”

  He laid his head against hers. “Life is too short. You never got to see Paris.”

  “I did through your memories.”

  They sat in quiet, sharing without needing words. She loved this man and knew how his heart beat and what this day would be like for him. “Would you do something for me?”

  “Sure.” She could feel him wrestling with the emotions.

  “There’s a package with my diary. Give it to Stephen a year from now?”

  “My promise.”

  She worried about her brother. She wanted so badly to see him in heaven one day. She had done what she could. The rest would have to be left to God and the other O’Malleys.

  The sun appeared over the hillside. “I’m tired, Tom.”

  “It’s okay to go home,” he choked.

  “Hold my hand?”

  His arms tightened around her and his fingers interlaced with hers.

  She closed her eyes against the brightness. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” he whispered.

  Jennifer died feeling the warmth of the rising sun.

  Forty

  I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.’” The sun broke through the afternoon clouds as the graveside service concluded. Tom turned the pages in Jennifer’s Bible, reading the Scriptures she had chosen, the pink fabric-covered book looking odd in his hand.