Moments of Julian

  A wide smile breaks over her face and she’s just about to throw her arms around me again when I hold a hand up and she stops abruptly.

  “I need you to find me a good accountant,” I move on. She takes a good second to compose herself, and suddenly my hard working, always loyal Gretch is back. “Part of the reason I got into this mess is because I haven’t been watching my accounts close enough. I need you to find someone we can trust, someone with rock-solid references.”

  “I’ll have some options for you by this afternoon,” she says. She quickly wipes at her eyes and gives me a smile. “I’m glad we’re getting back to normal around here.”

  “Oh,” I say as I walk toward Mr. Maxwell’s office. “Things are never going to be normal around here again.”

  I give Gretch a smile and let myself into Gideon’s office.

  ——

  Five days later, Julian and I pull into the parking garage of Digit.

  “Are you sure you won’t tell me what is going on?” he asks, hesitating in the car.

  “Trust me,” I say with a smile. “You’re going to like this surprise.”

  “I don’t know,” he says as he opens the door and climbs out. He walks around to my side and opens the door for me. “I’m not sure I like surprises. You’re kind of making me nervous.”

  “Have a little faith.” I lean into him for just a moment, brushing my lips to his cheek, leaving a red lip imprint there. It is adorable that he doesn’t even realize it is there as we walk into the building. He walks nervous and stiff into the elevator.

  I make myself stand across the elevator from him as we start to rise. My eyes trace over him from polished shoes, up his pinstriped trousers, up his tailored suit jacket, over his charcoal tie, up to his captivating dark green eyes.

  It’s taking every ounce of strength I have not to take him here and now in this tiny elevator.

  But we have important business to take care of.

  A knowing smile curls on Julian’s lips as the doors open. I mirror it as I wipe the lipstick from his face.

  Julian follows me to the conference room. Inside, Mr. Maxwell and the company attorney, Adam Scott, are waiting for us.

  “Good morning, everyone,” I say cheerily as I set my bags down on an empty chair and lower myself into another. Julian looks at me uncertainly and I eye the seat next to me. He sinks down into it.

  “Morning, Miss McCain,” Adam says with a thin lipped smile. He has a completely bald head, even though he doesn’t look much over thirty five, and the overhead lights reflect off it. He’s wearing a neatly pressed suit that reflects the nice salary Digit pays him.

  Mr. Maxwell just gives a curt nod.

  “I’ve got the paperwork all drawn up,” Adam Scott starts into things. He is nothing if not direct and quick at his work. “I will just need the three of you to sign this monstrous stack of documents. I will act as notary and we can have all the paperwork for the restructuring of Digit Securities filed.”

  “Restructuring?” Julian asks, his brow furrowing. “I’m sorry, I have absolutely no idea what is going on or why I am here.”

  Mr. Maxwell glares at me with questions in his eyes as to why I haven’t explained things to Julian. A smirk simply forms on my own face.

  “I made a deal with Gideon in our meeting a few days ago,” I start to explain. My eyes drift from Mr. Maxwell to Julian and he is an open book of confusion. “I told him that I would get all our clients we lost back. They just needed a little explanation and assurance that we have contained the problem, and the information that we have a new product that will be rolling out in three weeks that will solve all our issues for years to come.”

  Despite the confusion and excitement of this moment, there are still bags under Julian’s eyes. He’s been working non-stop since the day I had my meeting with Mr. Maxwell on the Red Door. With the Blue Wall compromised, we have no choice but to forego beta testing. We needed to give our clients a product they can be confident with. Now. And once we told them about the Red Door, no one could wait to get their hands on it. Julian had been working his brains out to have it ready as soon as humanly possible, with the help of our extensive, now more cautious IT department.

  “This on the condition that he make me CEO, and you and I each ten percent stock owners of Digit Securities.”

  Julian’s expression is non-comprehending for a long minute. He looks back and forth from Mr. Maxwell, who does not look happy about this, but knows he has no choice but to grant me my demands or go bankrupt, and me, who knows I have won.

  Gideon owns forty percent of Digit. Thirty is owned by our private shareholders. Thirty percent used to be owned by the public share market.

  Over the last few days, Digit has bought back twenty percent to give over to us.

  “You’re signing over ten percent of Digit to Sage,” Julian clarifies. I sense it is in an attempt for this unexpected, whiplash change in direction of events, to make sense in his head. “And ten percent to me?”

  “That was Sage’s terms,” Mr. Maxwell says, lacing his fingers together and resting his hands on the table.

  “I’ve been on the phone for the past four days straight,” I say. “You’ve been busy, but so have I. In all, we ended up losing six major clients and seventeen lesser ones because of the breech and scandal. In the past four days, I’ve brought every single one of them back into the Digit fold. They eagerly await testing out the Red Door.”

  Julian is staring at me with his mouth very slightly open.

  And then I see the life leap back into his eyes and a smile curls on his lips. He looks over at Mr. Maxwell and mimics his posture, linking his fingers together and resting his forearms on the table. “It’s hard to fight the will of Sage McCain, isn’t it?”

  “Who me?” I say innocently as I lean back in the chair and cross my legs. “I’m a peach.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  “Did that really just happen?” Julian says with a chuckle as we finish dinner. “Last week you were about to be arrested for fraud, the FBI was all over you. And in a matter of days you’ve wrangled ten percent of the company from the man who would have had your head just days ago?”

  “And I got ten percent of it for you too,” I say with a wink as I reach for my water glass. “You’ve invested so much into this company, I thought you should gain some say in how it is operated from now on.”

  “You are an impressive woman, Sage McCain,” Julian says as he reaches across the table and takes my hand in his. “And I’ll admit, I would be terrified to go up against you. You McCain’s can be pretty scary when you want to be.”

  I chuckle, but my moment of glory feels dampened a bit.

  During the chaos of the last five days, I was able to take off exactly thirty minutes to go to SeaTac airport. Mom, Dad, Drake, Kale, and even Julian all came to see Lake off. His short leave came to an end and he had to get back for duty.

  Mom cried, everyone expected that. Kale didn’t say much and his face was completely white. Drake only said to keep safe, as did Dad. To my surprise, Julian and Lake ended up talking quietly for a few moments but no one overheard what was said. I wasn’t going to pry.

  And with dread in my heart, I watched as my brother walked away. And I prayed that he would be kept safe.

  “No one messes with a McCain,” I say, pulling back into the present.

  We finish dinner and argue over who will pay the bill and in the end, I relent. But just this once.

  Julian pulls out his phone to check the time. “Did you realize it is already the fourth of August? We have completely abandoned ballroom classes. The last class was Thursday.”

  “You know, to be honest, I completely forgot about class,” I say, surprised at the reality of the words. I haven’t given a single thought to the waltz, cha-cha, or rumba in weeks now. “How could you forget, you’re supposed to be helping teach?”

  Julian chuckles as we stand and start for the door. He pulls me in close as we walk and none to
o conspicuously, leans his face in close, his nose tracing the skin under my ear. “I’ve been a bit otherwise occupied.”

  My nerve endings jump to life and everything around is blurry and nonexistent. My eyes rise up to meet Julian’s as we step outside the restaurant into the dim light of summer evening. He is a sight to see in his suit with his hair parted and slicked back. He is beautiful and killing all the female hormones in me with want.

  “Let’s go do something crazy tonight,” I say as I lean into him. My breasts push into his chest and his hands come low on my hips. My hands press into his hard back and my eyes fix on the tattoo of a wing that is barely poking above his collar.

  “What did you have in mind?” he breathes and I feel his body jump to life. His breathing picks up.

  “I want to make a memory tonight,” I say, appreciating Julian appreciating me, but not wanting to torture him. I back away just slightly, fisting his lapel in my hands. “You did say the pain only lasts for a little while.”

  I can tell it takes Julian a moment to figure out what I am really suggesting and not what it sounds like.

  “You sure?” he says. “Once you’ve done it, there’s no undoing it.”

  I bite my lower lip and nod.

  A smile curls on Julian’s face. “Come on, I know the perfect place.

  Six minutes later, we are parked in front of a building with neon lights blaring the words Living Ink.

  “You ready?” Julian asks me one more time.

  My heart is pounding, but it is with equal measures of nervousness and excitement. I nod and climb out of the car.

  “Julian!” a man with long dark hair and slightly Native American looking features calls jubilantly when we enter. “Here for some fresh ink? Haven’t had enough of the needle yet?”

  “Never,” Julian says with a grin as he shakes the man’s hand. “Sage, this is Doug. He’s been my artist ever since I moved to Bellevue.”

  “You should have seen the messes I fixed from his days in New Mexico,” Doug says with a grimace and a shiver.

  “I was in college,” Julian says, his voice exasperated and sarcastic sounding. “I was supposed to make bad decisions then.”

  Doug gives a full hearted laugh. “So who is this ravishing woman you’ve yet to introduce me to?”

  “This is the terrifying Sage McCain,” Julian says proudly as he looks at me. I feel out of place wearing a seven hundred dollar dress in a tattoo parlor. “And she’s the real reason we’re here today.”

  “Alright,” Doug says excitedly and claps his hands. “Any idea what you want today? If not I’ve got plenty of idea books.”

  I feel sheepish and reckless that I do not know what I want yet. “Those books would be a great idea,” I say quietly.

  “You sure she’s terrifying?” Doug asks with a wink. “Seems a little skittish to me.”

  Julian takes my hand in his. “Just first time ink nerves.”

  “You’ve brought me a virgin?” Doug’s voice is ecstatic. “This is a rare opportunity and as your first, I am honored.”

  “Don’t get too carried away, sir,” I say with a smirk as he hands me a huge binder. He gives me another wink and Julian and I sink onto a sketchy looking couch.

  We hold the book between us and flip slowly through pages. There are infinity symbols and hearts and different fonts for words. Animals and floral patterns. A whole section of tribal ink.

  “Does that one look familiar?” Julian asks as he points out a picture of a series of moons. I immediately recognize them as the tattoos down his right side.

  “Who could resist taking a picture of such an alluring model?” I say as I turn the page, trying to suppress a smile.

  “Maybe I should switch careers and start asking Kale for advice,” he says as he elbows me in the side. “Would that mean I get to move in with you too?”

  “Only if you’re willing to give up that P1 whatever car you’re terrified of driving,” I raise an eyebrow at him.

  But my blood jumps to life thinking of the possibility of actually living with Julian. To never have to say goodnight or goodbye.

  To finally break that rule I gave myself so many years ago.

  I turn the page and everything in me stills.

  “That’s the one,” I say.

  Maybe it’s the fact that everything has seemed so perfect the last few days, or my trail of thoughts the last few moments, but there is a prickle at the back of my eyes.

  Julian looks over at me, his expression hopeful but uncertain.

  “That’s the one,” I say before he can ask me once again if I’m sure. “If you’re okay with it.”

  Julian glances at the desk Doug was sitting at and finds we have privacy.

  Something shifts in Julian’s expression. It is strong as steel and warm as summer on the beach.

  I realize then that this thing between Julian and I is rare. We haven’t epically changed each other. We are generally the same people we were when we first met. But as my dad said all those weeks ago, relationships are about finding someone who makes you stronger when they are by your side.

  Dad was right. And Julian is my other half.

  “Yeah,” he breathes. “I’m okay with it.”

  “Okay,” I say. A smile curls on my lips. “Hey Doug!” He comes from the back room. “Looks like you’ve get to ink Julian tonight after all.”

  “Alright!” he says with a coy grin. “Who wants to go first?”

  “Julian,” I say without a second’s hesitation. He bursts into laughter. But he simply stands and starts unbuttoning his suit jacket, followed by his tie and shirt.

  “I like this arrangement,” I say as I lean back and cross my legs. I like any moment when Julian is shirtless.

  He winks at me before turning and sitting in Doug’s chair.

  I watch closely as Doug puts the needle to Julian’s right breast. Julian doesn’t flinch once. He holds my hand throughout the whole process, but not for his own comfort benefit. His eyes jump from the tattoo in process of creation to my face.

  I’m sure I’m white as a sheet, but I’m not changing my mind.

  “Please don’t pass out on me,” Julian laughs, but his eyes say that he’s genuinely scared I might.

  “I’m not that much of a wuss,” I defend myself, squeezing his hand hard.

  “No, she’s terrifying, remember?” Doug teases.

  “That’s right. Don’t you ever forget it,” I say.

  Finally, Julian is done. I snap a picture with my phone just before Doug applies a bandage.

  Julian bears a fresh, intricate heart-shaped lock just above his own heart.

  “You ready?” he asks as he climbs out of the chair.

  My heart is threatening to pound out of my chest and my hands are sweaty. But I nod my head and trade places with him. I’m so nervous that I’m not even worried about peeling my dress down to my waist and sitting there exposed in my strapless bra in front of Doug.

  I grip Julian’s hand in mine and try to tell myself not to break it.

  “Just try to relax,” Doug says as he hovers above my chest for just a moment.

  Instead, I take a deep breath and squeeze my eyes closed.

  A small scream leaps from my lips as the sting bites into my flesh. Both Julian and Doug give amused laughs.

  “This isn’t funny,” I say through a chuckle of my own. “How many hours have you spent enduring this torture?”

  “You get used to it after a while,” Julian says. He’s pressing a hand to his mouth, but I see the edges of his lips curling behind it.

  “Don’t be a baby,” Doug teases me.

  “Did he really just call me a baby?” I say in offense.

  “You really don’t want to call her a baby,” Julian says, shaking his head.

  “Hmm,” Doug says as he continues torturing me. “Maybe she does have a little fight in her after all.”

  “Seriously, don’t mess with her,” Julian eggs the situation on. “She’s sent
no less than six guys to jail.”

  Doug gives an impressed raise of his eyebrow and a nod.

  “For some reason I didn’t scare this one away,” I say with a smirk as I look up at Julian.

  “You two must be pretty serious if you’re already getting couple’s tattoos,” Doug says as he ignores my cringing and continues to attack my skin with speed and skill. “How long has Julian been your boyfriend?”

  I squeeze my eyes as another wave of pain brings the sting of tears to my eyes. “Truth be told, I absolutely hate the term boyfriend,” I confess, my eyes still screwed shut tight. “It makes me feel like I’m back in high school. It makes me feel like a girl.”

  And for a very short while, James Theodore, who set me up for a group rape, held that title.

  “What would you like to call him instead?” Doug asks as he keeps at it, never once looking up.

  I open my eyes and Julian is staring at me intently.

  There is a long moment where we just look at each other.

  Every perfect moment we’ve spent together floods through my veins. I remember the first night we met, when Julian asked to make sure he wasn’t wasting my time with me. How he said he was sure whatever happened between us going to be fairly epic.

  I can see the gears in Julian’s head spinning rapidly and his breath stops. Something cosmic and grand forms in his eyes and I can feel it reflected in my own.

  “I said I wanted to do something crazy tonight,” I say quietly.

  Julian stands, keeping my hand in his. He looks down at me for a long moment and I can feel us skyrocketing toward an explosive finale.

  He shifts his weight and drops to one knee.

  “Do something crazy with me Sage McCain,” he says, a coy smile curling on his face. His eyes are alive and intense.

  It takes me a second to realize the buzz of the ink gun has stopped and Doug has rolled back in his chair to give us a bit of space.

  “Let’s do the thing that is craziest and makes the most sense here. Sage, I don’t just want you to call me your boyfriend, although it’s a nice upgrade from the dot, dot, dot,” he says with a chuckle. I smile too, but a moment later, Julian is serious once again. “Someday, I want you to call me your husband,” his voice is breathy and airy, like he’s been holding this confession in for a while and is amazed that he’s getting the opportunity to speak it. “And I don’t want to have to call you Sage McCain forever. I can’t wait to hold Sage Dohring in my arms.”