Again

  By the time he’d texted her to tell her he was home—hours after the photos of him arriving at LAX had been posted—it almost hurt to turn down his invitation to come up and hang out so he could tell her about his ordeal. But she didn’t want to chance getting as emotional with him as she’d felt the entire last two days.

  I’m waiting for a call.

  His response was immediate, and she hated herself for being tempted to give in. “Big girl, Em. You can do this,” she whispered as she stared at his text.

  So wait for it up here.

  It didn’t help that her “waiting for a call” response was total BS. Sly had an evening game tonight. He wouldn’t be free to talk for at least another thirty-forty minutes. Before she could give into the temptation, stalk to his apartment and possibly make a stupid blubbering ass of herself, she decided she’d just call him. She’d since decided she’d be honest. This had nothing to do with her being jealous of Scarlet, even though she could openly admit now—to herself—that she was utterly jealous of Scarlet. But she’d accepted almost from the time she’d met Sydney she’d always be secretly jealous of any woman lucky enough to be romantically involved with him. This wasn’t about that. This was about him undermining what she considered such a special friendship. They shared a bond. She told him just about everything. How dare he not even bother to shoot her a quick text to, at the very least, tell her he wouldn’t be at Foams in the morning.

  Already feeling herself getting emotional, she took a deep breath, shook it off, and hit speed dial.

  “Hey.” His deep cheery voice nearly choked her up. “You coming up?”

  “I can’t,” she said her voice a near whisper. “I have to wait for this call.”

  “You can’t take it here?” he asked then quickly added. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, lifting her chin as if he could see her. “It’s just that, you know, I don’t know how long I’ll be and it’s kind of private.”

  “Oh, okay,” he said. “So I’ll just tell you about it over the phone. You can do that, right?”

  “Yes,” she whispered again.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? This call you’re waiting on, it’s nothing bad, is it?”

  “No.” Again as if he could see her, she shook her head in an effort to sound more convincing. “Nothing bad. Just, you know, the usual.”

  He paused before he started but then began telling her about the call he got from his mom late in the evening when he left. Hearing his mother cry had alarmed him enough that, no matter how much she assured him it was no big deal, there was no way he wasn’t flying out ASAP. He got as far as telling her about how lucky her mom had gotten. It could’ve been a lot worse.

  That was when the words just flew out. The emotion that had been building the entire last two weeks had begun to peak when she’d found out about him being in Flagstaff with Scarlet. Now hearing him tell it so nonchalantly, they’d reached a boiling point.

  “Why didn’t you call me to tell me about this sooner?”

  “About the fire?”

  “Yes,” she said, willing the huge knot in her throat to go away. “I thought we were closer than that. I was worried that morning when you weren’t at Foams and—”

  “Emi, I got the call after midnight. I just grabbed a bag and took off. I didn’t have time to—”

  “But you had time to ask Scarlet to go with you.”

  “That’s a whole other story.”

  “Does Sarah know about this too?”

  “Yeah, but that’s only because she texted me when she saw the photos of me with Scarlet at the airport.”

  “I gotta go,” she said, ready to hit the end button before the stupid knot in her throat gave way.

  “Wait. Whoa! What’s wrong with you? Is it the call you were waiting for? Sabian? Call me when you’re done.”

  “No, it’s not the call, Sydney. I just gotta go.”

  Before he could say another word, she hung up and gave into the emotion, wiping angry tears away. Tears she suddenly realized she’d been holding in for days, probably weeks. She put her phone down, ignoring it when it rang, and hurried into her bathroom instead.

  How stupid was she to get so worked up over this? So Sydney hadn’t called his little best friend to check in and he took Scarlet home to meet his mom. Why did it matter now? She’d always known the day would come eventually. The day one or both of them would meet a significant other. Naively she’d thought maybe they could all be friends. Hang out and go on double dates. At the moment, she didn’t think she could stomach being in the same room with him and anyone else. Watching the video of him holding Scarlet’s hand over and over had been proof enough that a scenario like that was out of the question.

  She bent over the sink and rinsed her face, letting the warm water run for a while until she’d splashed enough water over her face she felt cleaned up enough. The moment she turned the water off she heard the loud knock in her front room.

  Grabbing a towel from the rack, she wiped her face down, rushing out into the front room. She slowed when she heard Sydney’s voice on the other side of her front door.

  “Emi, you there? Can we talk?”

  “Shit!”

  She glanced around her front room and kitchen. It wasn’t nearly as organized as his place, but it was neat enough. With a deep breath, she shook away what just hearing him say her name did to her. “Just a minute,” she said as she stopped in front of a mirror and double-checked her face. “Damn it!”

  Rinsing her face only cleansed it. It didn’t do a thing for her red puffy eyes. She couldn’t let him see her this way. She walked over to the door and spoke through the crack.

  “I was about to get in the shower,” she explained without opening it.

  “Can I talk to you for just a sec?”

  “Yeah, go ahead,” she said, rushing to one of the cabinets in her kitchen where she sometimes kept eye drops and fumbled through it, but she couldn’t find them.

  Sydney was silent for a moment, and then she heard him again. “Are you gonna open the door?”

  Slumping her shoulders, she tapped at the top of her cheeks just below her eyes as if that might alleviate some of the puffiness and returned to the door. She took a deep breath before unlatching the lock then opened it with a smile.

  His eyes immediately narrowed when he saw her. “Are you crying?”

  “No.” She spun around, leaving the door open for him to enter behind her. “Your text woke me up from a nap. My eyes always look like this when I first wake up.”

  She turned when she reached her kitchen counter and smiled again.

  “Did I do something wrong?” he asked.

  “No,” she said at first then changed her mind. He was here in her apartment for the first time since she’d met him—because she’d hung up on him. There was no way around this but to be honest. “Maybe I woke up in a bad mood,” she said with a shrug. “I guess I just wondered why you wouldn’t bother to call me sooner. You probably would’ve been the first one I called if something like that happened in my family is all.”

  “I, uh . . .”

  He turned to close the door to her apartment. It felt odd to see him in her apartment for once. He seemed out of place. “I’m sorry?”

  Lifting a brow, she glanced up and their eyes met. “Don’t be.”

  Her voice was back to a whisper like when she’d spoken to him on the phone. She felt stupid now. How could she just expect him to automatically feel for her what she did for him? It was silly.

  “I have three brothers, Sydney”—she lifted and dropped her shoulder and glanced away, unable to look at him anymore—“and a sister who I’m very close to. Feelings of entitlement come with being so close to someone; you expect them to call immediately if something’s going on. I guess it crossed over to you and it hurt—pissed me off a little—that it’d be days later when you finally tell me about something like this. Don’t worry about it. I guess we’re not as close—
”

  “Hey.”

  His hand on her arm surprised her. She hadn’t realized he’d been standing so close. She glanced up at him as his expression softened. “We are that close. I’m sorry I hadn’t called sooner. It all just happened so fast, and I figured I’d be home soon enough to tell you all about it in person. It was what I had planned for tonight.” To her surprise, he outstretched his arms. “Forgive me?”

  Swallowing hard, she nodded, smiling, and went in for the hug. What she expected would be a quick, obligatory, and apologetic hug turned into him wrapping his big strong heavenly arms around her tightly in what felt more intimate—meaningful.

  Instinctively, she slipped her arms around him, further sinking into the warmth of all that was him. She leaned her face against his chest, inhaling deeply. As usual, he smelled amazing, and Jesus, she knew she’d missed him, but she hadn’t realized just how much until that moment. The embrace, the moment, felt too good—too perfect—almost as if he knew this is what her body, heart, and soul had been needing all these torturous days away from him. But how could he? On the phone, both today and the night he’d left, he seemed clueless to what she might be thinking—feeling. Taking another deep breath of Sydney, Emi felt like she could stay there forever if he let her, but sadly he pulled away.

  A feeling of guilt washed over her as she heard her phone ring and wanted nothing more than to ignore it and spend the rest of the evening with Sydney. The wistful expression on Sydney’s face—one she was certain matched her own—flattened as he glanced around for her phone.

  “There’s that call you were waiting for.”

  Emi had no other choice but to nod and start toward her phone. She’d already made it sound like the damn call was too important to miss.

  “But we’re okay now, right?” Sydney asked as she reached the phone on the table in front of her television. “Or do I still need to make it up to you? We can go sailing this weekend.”

  She clenched the phone, feeling the stab of regret in her heart. Her weekend was already scheduled. She’d already promised her time to someone else:

  Her boyfriend.

  Glancing back, she considered sending the call to voicemail, but she didn’t. Sydney had just spent the last six days with Scarlet. She’d be stupid to think that just because she’d guilted him into giving her such a blissful hug she should start blowing Sly off for him. It’d be dumb, not to mention wrong. Sly didn’t deserve that.

  With a lift of her finger, she asked him to give her a moment while she answered. She told Sly she’d be just a second before bringing the phone to her hip.

  “I won’t be here this weekend,” she said, trying not to sound as disappointed as she felt. Sydney’s eyes narrowed in question, so she answered before he could ask. “I’m flying out to Chicago. The Padres are playing the Cubs. But maybe next weekend?

  Understanding and something else swept over Sydney’s face instantly, and he nodded. As if she’d just dismissed him, he started to her door. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”

  “Sydney,” she said before he could walk out the door. He stopped and glanced back at her blankly. “We’re good,” she said softly and smiled.

  He nodded but said nothing more before leaving. She waited a few seconds before bringing the phone to her ear again. “Sorry about that.”

  “Maybe next weekend, what?” Sly asked, ignoring her apology.

  The question surprised her. She’d given little thought to Sly hearing her short exchange with Sydney. “Sailing,” she said simply. “He has a sailboat. I’ve gone out with him before on it. He was asking if I wanted to go out this weekend, but I won’t be here.”

  Emi wasn’t naïve. She knew what she was saying to Sly so casually would not be taken as lightly by him. He’d made a few comments about her friendship with Sydney in the past. The suspicion in his tone tonight hadn’t been missed. But as she had from the very beginning, she was setting a precedent. Sydney was her good friend, one she’d planned on staying close with no matter what changed in their lives. Though, these past couple of weeks had been eye-opening for sure. Staying friends with Sydney, no matter what, would be far more of a challenge than she’d imagined.

  “Did you make dinner for him again tonight? Is that why he was over?”

  “No,” she said, clearing her throat and glad she could be honest about this. “He’d just stopped by actually. I hadn’t seen him for almost a week. Do you know who Scarlet Brendon is?”

  She heard him whisper the name. “Sounds familiar.”

  “She’s an actress,” Emi explained. “Pretty famous too. She’s on CSI Blues, but she’s also done a few movies. Anyway, she lives in the building, and he’s been seeing her lately. They were all over the Internet and tabloids these last couple of days when he went away with her. Since I hadn’t seen or talked to him in days, he came over to tell me about it.”

  “Is that right?” he asked, his tone losing a bit of the intensity she’d heard it in earlier. “Believe it or not, I don’t follow the tabloids much.”

  Emi smiled, feeling a little devious that her revelation about Sydney seeing someone else and her having not seen or talked to him in days had been perfectly timed. She plopped down in her bed, feeling emotionally drained and ready for a change in subject.

  “So when you and him go sailing, does he bring his girl or is it just the two of you?”

  The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind when Sydney had offered. Surely because he mentioned making it up to her, he’d meant just the two of them, but Sly had a point. The thought made her insides tighten.

  “The times we’ve gone sailing in the past he wasn’t seeing her yet.” Again she was glad to be able to be truthful about this. “But I suppose now that he’s seeing her, there’s a good chance he’d bring her along. Only like yours, her career keeps her real busy.”

  The uncomfortable silences between her and Sly were prevalent whenever the subject of Sydney came up. Clearly, this was not a fun subject for him.

  “But you’ve met her, right?”

  “I haven’t,” she said, closing her eyes because she had a feeling the topic she was hoping they’d move away from was about to go a lot longer.

  “Really? But she lives in the same building? I thought you spent so much time with this guy.”

  This time Emi cleared her throat away from the phone so he wouldn’t hear her. She didn’t want him to think this topic was making her uncomfortable.

  For just a moment, she considered addressing his “you spend so much time with this guy” comment but instead decided to ignore it and answer his real inquiry: why she’d yet to meet Sydney’s girl.

  “He told me about having hung out with her way back, but she was gone for a long time, filming a movie. They picked up where they left off just recently, so I just haven’t. But I’m sure I will soon.”

  Not if Emi could help it.

  Again another uncomfortable silence ensued. Emi was sure he was trying to decide if he believed that entirely. Emi and Sydney were supposed to be each other’s best friends. Yet neither had met each other’s significant others? It wasn’t like either had been in said relationships that long. Still, she had to admit that, up until that last bullshit statement she’d made so coolly about being sure she’d meet Scarlet, she’d never given it much thought. A year ago when Sydney told her about having had drinks with Scarlet, Emi would’ve jumped at the chance to meet her. Now the thought of meeting her and possibly being witness to any open affection between the two made her skin crawl.

  “Maybe the next time I’m in Los Angeles I can meet Sydney,” Sly finally said. “I’m curious now. I’ve heard so much about him.”

  There was an edge to his tone. He wasn’t just curious, but Emi would go along, and hopefully the conversation would move on to something other than Sydney. “Sure. He’d probably get a kick out of meeting you.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sydney

  To say Sydney was using Scarlet was a bit hars
h. It’s what he kept telling himself. Scarlet was in full agreement that their arrangement was lighthearted and free of any obligations or need for explanations. No promises or commitments had been given. Both could come and go as they pleased, and neither owed the other a thing. Sydney never even asked her about her social life outside of the time she spent with him. But the weekend Em had spent with her boyfriend, Sydney had overdone it. He needed Scarlet to help keep his mind off Em. Scarlet had just been a convenient diversion but, more importantly, a willing participant in his marathon weekend of unquenchable lovemaking. Only calling what they’d done in his apartment all weekend making love was a gross misinterpretation of the truth.

  Unquenchable however, was exactly what it’d felt like. Despite the undeniable pleasure of it, no matter how many times and how hard he’d nailed Scarlet, not once had he satisfied the ultimate goal—to squelch any thoughts of what Emi and Sly might be doing that weekend.

  The day he hugged Em a few days before the weekend she left, he knew it was a mistake the moment he’d pressed his body against hers. He hadn’t meant to, but it just happened, and once he had her in his arms, he’d had to go for it. Everything that had been happening up until then—everything he’d been denying to himself—was confirmed. Up until then, he’d only admitted to being attracted to her. He’d used the phrase fallen for her loosely, as in, if she were game, he’d be willing to give a relationship with her a try despite their differences. Lynn had been right. Age was just a number, and as long as they enjoyed each other’s company—felt what he finally had to admit he felt for her—nothing else mattered.

  What he had to admit after that day was that he didn’t just enjoy Em’s company. He craved it. Only it was becoming more than a craving now. He needed her around, needed to see that smile, hear her laughter, and listen to her voice as she spoke so openly about everything, even about the things that troubled her most. It was what had him slipping his arms around her the day she’d been upset with him. Their friendship was undeniably as special to her as it was to him. She’d compared him to her siblings, the people in her life he knew meant the world to her. It was part of the reason why he hesitated to move forward and be honest about what he was feeling.