Shatter

  I ran out the door with Demetri and Jaymeson in tow And this is where Angelica came in. I hoped to God I could actually trust her.

  Chapter Forty

  Demetri

  “I have to admit, this plan kicks ass.” I rubbed my hands together in excitement and kissed Alyssa on the forehead. Her father had totally outdone himself and made so much taffy for the occasion that if I died in five seconds I would still be in heaven.

  “Thanks.” Alec shifted nervously on his feet next to me. “Shit, I’m nervous as hell.”

  “It will be fine.” Alyssa reached for his hand and squeezed it.

  The cafeteria was full of friends and family. Both of Nat’s parents had made it as well as some of our friends from school. I patted Alec on the back and waited for the doors to open.

  Nat had been slumming around the house just like Alec. Both of them looked like they hadn’t slept in years, so it was actually Angelica’s idea for someone to do her makeup and put her into a dress before she faced everyone.

  I didn’t think it was necessary until I saw Nat yesterday. She had dark circles under her eyes and she looked thin — which couldn’t be good considering she was pregnant.

  The door opened.

  Damn. Well done, Angelica.

  Nat gasped when she walked into the room. She was wearing a white sundress with strappy sandal things and her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. I couldn’t tell if she had makeup on, but her face somehow looked brighter, and her lips were shimmery.

  I nudged Alec, but he seemed paralyzed. His mouth dropped open, and then he took a stride toward Nat, then another. Um, not part of the plan, but—

  And then he was kissing her.

  Mauling her in front of everyone.

  I cleared my throat and wondered if I should cover Alyssa’s eyes or something.

  “Why don’t you kiss me like that?” she whispered.

  “What?” I turned to her. “I kiss you like that all the time.”

  “No, you don’t. You’ve never done that with your tongue. Did you see his tongue—”

  “—Please don’t refer to Alec and his tongue ever again. Ever.”

  Alyssa giggled. The little tease.

  Finally Alec pulled away. Nat’s eyes were shining with tears.

  “Nat.” Alec sighed and went down on one knee. “I’ll never stop loving you. I’ll never stop wanting to be with you. My heart…” He shuddered. “It’s yours. It’s always been yours. I can’t take back the mistake I made this last year. I can’t take back all those times I didn’t protect your heart when it should have been my first priority. I also can’t promise that I won’t mess up again. I’m an ass, but I’m learning, and all I know… is that I want you by my side every single day for the rest of my life. I want us to be a family. I want to be your family.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a six carat antique cut diamond solitaire ring. I knew it was badass because Jayemeson and I went into Portland to get it with him. Though, I didn’t know exactly how cool until Alyssa almost passed out when Alec showed it to her to get her approval.

  “Be my wife. Be my partner. Marry me?”

  The room was deathly silent. I swear I was sweating for the guy.

  I expected Nat to cry. Instead she laughed out loud and pulled Alec up from his knees and kissed the hell out of him in front of everyone.

  When they broke apart she laughed again and shouted. “Yes!”

  “He should have sung to her again,” Jaymeson said next to me. “Americans. No romance whatsoever.”

  “Says the man who abandoned yet another woman in his bed last night.”

  “She left satisfied.”

  “Boys!” Alyssa interrupted. “Do you mind? They’re kind of having a moment and I want to listen.”

  Jaymeson snickered. “You’re next, Demetri.”

  “Laugh now… but remember what I said. When you fall, and you will… it’s going to be hell.”

  Jaymeson rolled his eyes and walked off.

  Alec twirled Nat in his arms around the room. Everyone began to clap and disperse. We had taffy, cake, and tons of snacks for friends and family.

  It hit me in that moment, that you never really know where life is going to take you. Our bad choices led us to Seaside, Oregon of all places. But that’s where we found our forever. It made me realize that sometimes forever isn’t where you expect it to be, and that’s okay. Because the best parts of my life have been unexpected, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

  Epilogue

  Alec

  Nat grabbed my hand and pressed it to her swollen belly. “Do you feel her moving?”

  I nodded and tried like hell not to cry. We’d just started the first leg of our tour and already I was ready to have a nervous breakdown over the fact that my pregnant wife was carrying a girl.

  A girl.

  As in a girl who would grow up into a teenager, then a woman, and date. Dating. Not gonna happen. I’d told Nat, but she just laughed at me as if I was joking. Seriously, I was losing sleep over it. Holy shit, I was going to be that dad. The type who cleaned his guns in front of his daughter’s potential dates in order to scare them off.

  “What’s wrong?” Nat rubbed my head.

  “Oh, just thinking about guns.”

  She laughed. “Do I want to know?”

  “No.” I chuckled. “You don’t.”

  A knock sounded on the door. We’d been hanging on the tour bus for the last day while we traveled through Washington state to our stop in Seattle.

  “Guys!” Demetri burst into our room.

  “Good thing we weren’t indecent,” Nat grumbled.

  Demetri waved her off. “Whatever. You guys are always all over each other, and can I just say I’ve seen my fair share of PDA since starting this tour? Seriously, you guys disgust me.”

  “I heard that!” Alyssa shouted behind him.

  Grinning, Demetri winked at us and shrugged. “Sorry to interrupt, but big news.”

  Nat whispered something naughty in my ear and tugged it with her teeth. “Dude, make it fast or I’m going to punch you in the face.”

  “They added more tour dates because we completely sold out all cities, so we aren’t going to get home as soon as we thought, but the good news?”

  I waited.

  Demetri chuckled. “Jaymeson fell.”

  “Fell?” I repeated. “What does that even mean?”

  “You’ll see.”

  Keep reading for a sneak peak of Jaymeson’s story in Fall: A Seaside Novel.

  Fall: A Seaside Novel

  Chapter One

  Jaymeson

  “You’re a man-whore.”

  Not what I expected my manager and long time friend to say to me after I had not only starred in three blockbuster hits last year, but I successfully pulled off the longest summer of my life in Seaside, Oregon with boy band AD2.

  “Pardon?” I tossed my cell in one hand and laughed as another text alert went off.

  WNNA MEET UP? —CANDY

  I hit ignore and stuffed the phone back into my pocket.

  “As I was saying.” Brett cleared his throat. “You’re turning into a—”

  “—Whore, got it.” My phone went off again, I held up my hand. “Hold that thought, Brett.” My phone blinked with another message. Candy again? Nope, this one was from Brit. Ah, Brit. A man could get lost in those giant—

  “—Jaymeson!” Brett snatched the phone from my hand and slammed it against the mahoghany desk. “People want to like you. They really do. It’s just…”

  My phone beeped underneath Brett’s hand. His face turned an interesting shade of purple, and he picked up my phone and threw it into the trashcan.

  “What the hell!” I lunged for my phone, but he moved to stand in front of the can and glared. Uh-oh. His nostrils were flaring. That only happened when he was royally pissed. Maybe I should go back to England on an extended holiday. Anything to get rid of Brett, or whoever the hell was texting me. r />
  So what? People thought I was a man-whore. At least I wasn’t some drug-addicted madman running up and down Sunset Boulevard with my trousers falling around my ankles. I mean, really. There were worse things in life.

  “We done?” I asked coolly.

  “Not by a long shot.” A vein throbbed on Brett’s temple as he pointed his finger in my direction. “You’ve gotta get your shit together, Jaymeson. I’m not kidding this time.”

  “My shit is just fine. Thank you,” I retorted with a mocking glare.

  He cursed and ran his fingers through his hair.

  I stood and stretched. “Look, I’m the least of your worries. You’ve got celebrities shooting up heroin and snorting cocaine and slapping tattoos on their asses with misspelled words. Compare me to them and I’m…” I exhaled. “Mother Theresa?”

  “And now you’re blasphemous,” Brett muttered. “And if you think you’re in the clear, then you’ve got another thing coming. Look.” He threw down a few of the tabloids. Pictures of me littered them, as they always did, but this time it hit me straight in the gut.

  “What’s that?”

  “You tell me.”

  I was lying across a couch with three scantily-clad women. Each of them was snorting a line of cocaine.

  It looked bad.

  “I don’t do that shit, believe me. I know what it does to a person.” My step-mom being the prime example.

  “I know that.” Brett sighed. “And you know that. But the media? They’ve just labeled you America’s newest English bad boy. They’re calling you the new British Invasion. My phone’s ringing off the hook with irate producers who are thinking very heavily about not casting you, only because it appears that you’re not serious about your work. Now. Sit.”

  I sat this time and moaned into my hands. “What do I do?”

  “Stop sleeping around.”

  “Be reasonable.” I laughed. “What can I do that won’t make me want to kill myself?”

  With an evil smile, Brett answered. “Well, I thought you’d never ask.” Brett pressed a button on his phone. “Yeah, Patty, go ahead and book that trip to Portland for Jaymeson. Get him a car too.”

  “Portland?” I repeated. “Oregon?”

  Brett folded his arms across his chest. “Nope.”

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to know where he was going with this.

  “Seaside, Oregon. You’re going back to hell.”

  Was it selfish to wish for a plane to crash?

  Looking for another amazing read? Try this excerpt from All We See or Seem by Leah Sanders, published by Astraea Press.

  All We See or Seem

  Chapter One

  Gryff’s orders lay unopened on the table.

  The silent tension caused Gem to bite her lip. She tucked a loose strand of auburn hair behind her ear and shifted uneasily in the chair. Wide-eyed, Gryff sat stiffly beside her, regarding the envelope. He was like a statue — hands on his knees — staring interminably at the table.

  Finally, Gem cleared her throat. Gryff jolted as if in a daze and turned to her. A look of uncertainty hung in his eyes. She swallowed the dry, sticky taste in her mouth and reached for his hand. It felt cold… clammy. Gem could feel the faint tremor of his fear radiating through his fingers. She took Gryff’s hand between her own and squeezed, trying to infuse heat and reassurance at the same time.

  “Sometimes they come back,” Gem’s voice was barely a whisper. It was a feeble attempt, but she was grasping at straws here.

  Everyone knows.

  They don’t come back. Never whole, anyway. Most likely, this was goodbye. Gem knew it. Gryff knew it.

  “Yeah. Sometimes they come back.” She knew it was his effort to reassure her, but there was a storm behind his green eyes, betraying his fear. He smiled weakly at her and pulled his hand away reluctantly to reach for the envelope instead. With a heavy sigh, he leaned back again in his chair, staring for just a moment at the sealed envelope in his trembling hands. Then in one gust of determination, he tore open his orders and read them.

  “When?” Gem couldn’t wait any longer. She hated how badly she wanted to know. Her eyes scoured Gryff’s face for the answer. When he met her gaze, he was pale. Gem’s heart fell into her stomach, but she waited for Gryff to swallow the emotion she knew was caught in his throat.

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Code Green.” It was a statement rather than a question, but Gem whispered it hoarsely. Green, a tremendous honor. The only thing higher was an immediate mandate — a Code Violet. An honor. An honor. She repeated it in her mind — enough times and she might start to believe it.

  “Code Green,” Gryff affirmed. He turned his gaze back to the crisp white paper and the neat, black print, which Gem knew was blurring through the barrage of moisture she saw welling up in his eyes. He seemed suddenly so far away, and a strange emptiness swelled in the pit of her stomach. In that moment she needed… she couldn’t put her finger on what, but somehow she felt as if Gryff was the only one who could fill the void. She reached out uncertainly, but he stood abruptly, leaving her without an antidote for the pain. “What time is your appointment? You do have benchmarks today, right?”

  “Yeah. Um…” Gem put her hand down quickly and shook her head slightly to clear the haze. “It’s at ten. It’s a level three, so I’ll be a couple hours.”

  “Level three? You won’t be eating lunch then… I’ll meet you at the gym for the afternoon session. You’d better get going. Don’t want to be late again.” Gryff still hadn’t looked at her. She knew he was struggling for control.

  “Gryff? I…” She hesitated and changed her mind.

  “Yeah, yeah. I know.” Then he turned his back on Gem and walked out.

  Gem looked at the wall clock. Yeah, she had better get going. It was a good ten minutes to the repository clinic. If she was late again there would be disciplinary action. Her record was bad enough as it was.

  ****

  “Gemini — Stem 6418C.” The attendant was distant, cold, as usual. “Exam Room Seven. Level Three Testing. When did you last eat?”

  “Oh-six-hundred hours.” Gem’s voice was equally emotionless. No one at the clinic appreciated any sign of personality. They expected dry, mechanical responses. Anything else raised eyebrows and, more often than not, earned comments in the permanent record like Uncooperative, Troublesome, and Aggressive Tendencies. Too many of those and you could guarantee a disciplinary action. Gem was determined to meet expectations today.

  “Fine. The chart says you were tardy for your last appointment. I remind you another offense will earn you a referral to the disciplinary clinic.”

  No answer was expected.

  Gem followed the attendant down the hallway to the exam room. It was a long, silent walk. The only sound was the rhythmic clatter of the attendant’s heels echoing off the white tiled walls. When they reached Exam Room Seven, Gem stood quietly and awaited further instruction.

  “Change into the gown. Sit on the table.” The attendant gestured toward the folded gown sitting there then promptly left the room, closing the door behind her.

  Gem knew she had very little time to do what was asked. The staff at the repository clinic was nothing if not efficient, so she changed quickly and sat in the designated place, folding her hands neatly in her lap. As if on cue, the door opened again and through it strode three attendants and a clinician. Each had a specific task that they set about doing immediately. One worked on her right side to draw blood; another worked on the left to insert an I.V.; the third took saliva swabs and checked vitals, while the clinician reviewed Gem’s chart for a moment and asked her periodic questions without looking at her. “Any pain or discomfort lately? Any body changes? Physical traumas?”

  Gem answered curtly as was expected, though in her mind she had to laugh at the timing of some of the questions.

  “Any pain or discomfort lately?” and the attendant on the left jabbed the I.V. needle into her arm. “Physical traumas?” and the
third attendant banged a metal cart into her kneecap. Nevertheless, Gem answered “No” on all counts. Everything was normal as far as the clinic was concerned.

  Gem’s mind began to edge toward Gryff. He was leaving. Probably for good. But if she thought about that now, she wouldn’t pass the tests, so Gem forced it out of her mind and focused back on the clinician.

  “Brain activity nodes. Logic. Physiological Response. R.E.M. Requested procedure 11B via 7217. Alter consciousness for that one. We’ll do it last. No Chem Response today. Confirm schedule changes in the database.” He was talking to the attendants now. Each one input a note on her board then scurried off in a different direction to prepare the tests.

  Gem knew the drill. Monthly appointments at the Repository were by the book. Rarely a change in the agenda. Sure, Level Three was usually more strenuous, often left her exhausted, always made her lose her appetite. But it was nothing she hadn’t done before. It was easy to let her mind wander while the clinician spouted instructions to the attendants. But what was that he just said? Something different. Gem’s heart rate increased ever so slightly. One of the attendants looked up at the heart monitor then at Gem. Breathe, Gem. Calm down. It’s nothing. You’re fine. She attempted to control her own heart rate, to bring it back down to normal.

  “Sir.” The attendant watching the heart monitor drew the clinician’s attention to the change.

  “Hmm... Static therapy, maybe. This one is observant. I’ll make a note.” He keyed something into Gem’s chart. The beep on the monitor increased frequency again, causing the clinician to look up suddenly. “Wow. That is amazing.” Then he nodded at the attendant and indicated Gem with a dart of his eyes. The attendant quickly retrieved a pair of earphones from the cart and fitted them firmly in Gem’s ears then set the volume and station. Immediately Gem was flooded with soothing musical tones. She relaxed and allowed the music to wash over her. Around her the attendants went about their duties briskly. The clinician returned to his work in Gem’s chart. The heart monitor registered a steadily stabilizing rate.