Shatter

  “I love it when you curse.”

  “Shut up.” She punched me in the gut and grabbed my arm, draping it over her shoulder as we returned to the middle of the yard.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Alec

  “They’re going to find us!” Nat chuckled as I kissed her throat again.

  “Screw them,” I ground out as I slammed her against the backdoor to the garage. “I want you. Here. Now.” My hands couldn’t move fast enough against her clothes as I pulled them from her body.

  “Demanding,” she said breathlessly as she lifted my shirt over my head.

  “Always demanding when it comes to you.” I sucked her bottom lip, my hands went to her hot skin. Every touch with her felt like the first, and no matter how many times we kissed, it was never enough. After seeing April, I needed Nat, needed her more than ever. I was being selfish, but I had to kiss her. She had to wash away all that guilt, all that shame. She was my high and I was in dire need of a fix.

  “Mmm.” She giggled then jumped into my arms. She loved to do that. I think it was because I was tall. I knew Nat liked feeling small, protected, and she liked it when I carried her and had my way with her. This was me not complaining as I pulled her shirt over her head with one hand and braced her against the wall.

  Nat reached for my jeans and jerked them down. I stepped out and tossed them hurriedly to the corner. I hoped the camera crew was confused about where we were, because things were going to be getting a little too R rated for a reality show.

  Nat pulled away from me and shimmied out of her short skirt, leaving her almost naked, except for her red bikini.

  I’d memorized every curve of her body, every indentation held my mark, and that’s how I wanted it. Maybe I was a bit possessive, but I wanted to brand her, make it so that anyone who saw her knew she belonged to me. She was mine. I greedily reached out and grabbed her hips. They fit perfect in my hands, I groaned and closed my eyes. Every part of her was precious, and every part drove me freaking insane.

  I hated the out-of-control feeling I had around April. Like any second the shit would hit the fan and people would know — Nat, precious Nat, would know. I was turning into someone I hated, but I couldn’t care less about April now. I wanted her pushed out of my brain, out of my psyche, my memories. I couldn’t keep living in fear. Living with absolute drama wasn’t me. I didn’t want any part of that life anymore. Was I selfish for wanting one last time with Nat before I went to the press myself?

  Before I threw an innocent woman under the bus?

  Before I created such a chasm in my relationship with Demetri that he would never speak to me again?

  Before I told the truth to save my own ass?

  Nat’s hands went around my neck. She jerked my head down and devoured my mouth. Her tongue was hot as it slid slowly into my mouth. I groaned against her lips and controlled the pressure I gave back, driving myself crazy with need. I wanted her. Now.

  “Oh…” a startled voice said from behind us.

  Cursing, and pushing Nat behind me, I turned to see April standing on the top stair leading into the house. “I’m sorry, I thought this was the way out of the house. My mistake.” Her eyes gleamed with disapproval as she glanced from me to Nat and then back to me again. Shit, she wasn’t my mom. She had no right.

  “Well,” I said gruffly. “Clearly this isn’t an exit.”

  April snorted. “Funny, I didn’t think it was a bedroom either.”

  “Son of a—”

  Nat smacked me in the back and whispered for me to behave. If she had any idea what this woman had done, what I had done, that would be the last thing she would be asking me to do.

  “Keys,” April choked out. “Demetri said something about keys.”

  “Does this really look like the time?” I snapped.

  April stood her ground.

  So she was going to be like that. She was going to play the innocent step-mom. Fine. I sighed and relaxed a bit. “We’ll be right there. I’ll give you the keys and you can leave. Sound good?”

  “Oh thank you, that would be… lovely.” Her gaze flickered to Nat briefly before shutting the door.

  I exhaled a curse.

  “Well, that was awkward.” Nat huffed from behind me. “We just got caught having sex by Jaymeson’s mom.” She let out a giggle and went in search for her discarded skirt.

  I, however, stood frozen in place. Visions of Jaymeson’s mom dancing through my head, the rose perfume. I suddenly felt sick all over again but knew it was my own damn fault.

  “Hey…” Nat handed me my shirt. “You okay? You look sick. You still feeling rotten?”

  “No.” I rubbed the back of my neck with my hand and sighed. “Um, I’m just… weirded out that Jaymeson’s mom’s going to be staying at our beach house.”

  “Forget about it.” Nat nudged me. “Besides it’s not like we’ll be seeing her. We don’t even stay there.”

  “Right.”

  “Let’s go. Everyone’s probably looking for us.”

  “Not yet.” I jerked her against me and quickly pulled her suit from her body.

  Desperation had made me a horrible person. That was the last thing I thought as I took my girlfriend against the wall of the garage.

  She gasped at the force of our bodies sliding together. I bit back a curse as I allowed the ecstasy of the moment to wash over me — to numb the guilt and sadness.

  “Alec, I—” I covered her mouth with mine as I lifted her into my arms and pushed her against the dirty wall.

  “I love you.” And I meant it. Even though we weren’t making love. This wasn’t love. This was sex. Raw sex. I was stealing from her. Stealing innocence and in return giving her a false security. And I hated myself for it, almost as much as I hated myself for needing it. Needing her.

  Nat opened her eyes and looked at me. Really looked at me, as I slowly pulled away from her and allowed her to slide down the wall.

  Those brown eyes were piercing into my very soul. I couldn’t look away. I knew that guilt was like a blazing red sign across my face.

  She swallowed and lifted her hand to cup my face. “Alec, whatever’s going on… you know I’ll always be by your side, right?”

  I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I nodded then found the words. “Can you promise me that?”

  “Alec, you’re acting like the sky’s falling or something. I’m. Right. Here.”

  “I know.”

  Nat released my face. “But damn if the guy I love isn’t a lifetime away from me.” She smiled sadly. “You ask me to promise you that I’ll never leave, but it feels a lot like you keep trying to say goodbye.”

  She quickly adjusted her suit and threw on her clothes. “I’ll see you outside, okay?”

  “Be right there.” I choked out. “I’m still a bit…” I shrugged.

  Nat licked her lips and kissed my mouth.

  “I’ll be outside waiting for you.” Her eyes held the promise of trust, and I felt like with every opportunity I was given, I just said screw it and dug my hole deeper.

  After a few minutes, I exited the garage and made my way toward the SUV where I had the spare key to the beach house. I unlocked the car and rummaged around inside the console, before pulling out the set of keys and slamming the door again.

  “Hey.”

  “Shit.” I jumped back when a feminine hand reached out to touch my shoulder. Why couldn’t everything just disappear? Go back to normal? I held out the key to her, willing her to hurry and take it so I could get back to the barbeque.

  April licked her lips and slowly reached out to grab the set of keys. “I’m sorry, you know.”

  “For?” The muscle in my jaw clenched tightly making my teeth click together.

  Her eyes welled with tears. “Everything.”

  Damn. I hated it when girls cried, and even though April was older she was no different. She was going through her own hell — one I couldn’t even fathom. And here all I could think a
bout was throwing her under the bus and getting as far away from her as I could.

  Her shoulders shook as she wiped away a few stray tears with the back of her hand. Sighing, I pulled her into my embrace and held her. “It will work out. I promise.”

  She hiccupped, nodding, and then clenching my shirt between her hands as she tucked her head against my chest.

  I didn’t know if I was supposed to let her cry or push her away. I mean, I wanted to comfort her, and yeah I did feel like shit, but I was too paranoid about cameras to want to hold her any longer.

  Thankfully, she pulled back a few seconds later. “Thanks, Alec.” Her eyes were glassy. “For what it’s worth. I’m sorry, you know?”

  “For ruining my life?” I snorted. “Right. I’m sorry too. Just…” I ran my hands through my disheveled hair. “Just figure your shit out while you’re here and do everyone a favor and disappear. No good will come from us being seen together, and we only have a few weeks until Angelica makes good on her threat.”

  “But…” April reached out and grabbed my arm. “You said you won’t tell. You’re not going to tell him are you?”

  Pissed, I jerked back. “Well, what could I really say? Huh, April? What could I tell them other than what you’ve already told me? Sorry, but I woke up naked in some married woman’s bed with a hell of a headache? Sorry, but somehow, Angelica got pictures of me leaving the hotel room with my shirt on backwards? Or how about this? This should be good. Somehow there were pictures taken of me in the woman’s bed… and now I’m being blackmailed by her husband and some skinny bitch that I’m forced to work with every day as a sort of penance for my sins. Which of those options sounds good enough to you? Huh? Or wait…”I was really on a roll. “How about, hey Demetri, guess what! Jaymeson’s mom—”

  April slapped me hard across the face. I deserved it. I grabbed her wrist and blinked back tears. “Harder. Slap me harder.”

  April tried to reach for me again. I jerked away. “Don’t, just… don’t. Please leave it alone. I’ll deal with it. I’ll keep my mouth shut, but don’t for one second believe I’m going to take the fall all on my own.”

  Her eyes flashed with anger. “But you said you’d protect me. You know what’s at stake, Alec! The divorce was messy. He wants the studio now that he knows the truth, and if he takes that, I have no money, and I have no—”

  “I don’t give a flying shit if you have ten kids, two mortgages, and an incurable disease. I’m not going down on my own.” I threw my hands into the air and walked off.

  “How are you going to explain the drugs? How are you going to explain everything to Demetri?” April called out. I froze mid-step and told myself I’d go to prison if I slapped her. “You can’t just explain that one away. After all, the pictures of that scene? Very real. Weren’t you in rehab during that stint?”

  And there it was.

  Her final play at my taking the fall.

  I couldn’t think about it — didn’t want to. “The alarm’s not on, you can just let yourself in, April.”

  With that, I walked off in search of Nat with a terrible sense of foreboding.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Demetri

  “I cooked this,” I announced proudly as everyone began piling potato salad on their plates.

  “You don’t cook potato salad,” Jaymeson said as he put a generous amount of ketchup on his plate. “Therefore, you didn’t cook it.”

  “Tell them, babe.” I nodded to Alyssa.

  She rolled her eyes. “Demetri only suffered two injuries while cutting the vegetables for the salad.” With an exaggerated arm raise. “Let’s all give him a round of applause.”

  Jaymeson clapped once. Angelica mouthed whatever and Nat clapped with Alyssa.

  “Thanks, guys. Feeling the love.” I filled my plate with a burger and two hot dogs just as Alec came bursting onto the lawn, guns firing.

  “Whoa there, partner.” I put up my hand. “I don’t have any cash, just take my wallet.”

  “Huh?” He stopped in front of me and shook his head.

  “You looked like an escaped prison convict. I just assumed you were going to go with it and rob me,” I answered.

  “Can I punch you in the face?”

  I thought about it. “Hmm, just don’t hit my camera side.”

  “Alec,” Nat scolded. “You’re moody. Eat some food.”

  Alec smiled and saluted her as he made his way over to the picnic table where our feast was piled up.

  “I have an announcement!” Ruben and the camera crew piled out of the house and onto the lawn.

  “Do you think we can make a run for it?” I whispered to Alec.

  “If I thought we could make a run for it, I would have already been gone.” He sighed.

  “The polls are in!” Ruben clapped his little T-rex hands and rubbed them together. “Your ratings are the highest they’ve ever been, and I’m happy to announce that Teambuilding Week was a hit!”

  “Probably because we made absolute asses out of ourselves.” Angelica scoffed.

  “Just you, Angelica. Just you,” Alec added.

  I smirked and nodded my head in her direction. I was gifted with her middle finger and a smile.

  “Who won?” This from Jaymeson, who was currently fighting a losing battle with his hot dog. Did they not have hot dogs in England?

  “That’s not how you eat a hot dog.” I pointed to his fork and plate. “You don’t cut it with a knife, England. You put it in your mouth.”

  “Hot dogs remind me of man bits. No way am I putting a man bit in my mouth and biting down for all the world to see.”

  “That was a visual I could have done without,” Alec announced.

  Ruben cleared his throat. “As I was saying, the polls are in and I’m happy to say that the winning team was…”

  “Please say the bunnies.” I crossed my fingers. I needed to get away from the cameras and spend some time with Alyssa before I resorted to sneaking into her room again.

  “The Fairies!”

  “Yes!” Nat threw her fist into the air and jumped. “Winners!”

  I glared. “Yes, rub it in. Pour some more salt, and rub some more. Love you too, Nat!”

  Alec was silent. He cleared his throat a few times. “Um, I feel like we win all the time. I know you really wanted it, man.” He slapped my back. “If you want it, it’s yours.”

  “Come again?” Nat and I said in unison.

  Alec shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong. I would love to be alone with Nat.” He gave her a knowing wink. “But I know you’ve been having to share Alyssa with her family during filming.” He took a bite of his hot dog, the right way might I add, and chewed.

  “Sounds fishy.” I tapped my chin.

  Nat looked between me and Alec. I could tell she was kind of bummed. How could Alec not see that his own girlfriend was really looking forward to a two-day trip with him?

  “We’ll go!” Angelica yelled.

  “No, we won’t.” Jaymeson sputtered. “Not unless you want me to bury your body under a seedy hotel.”

  “I may kill you first.”

  “If there is a God you’ll succeed, so I don’t have to listen to you—”

  “—Stop!” Ruben cursed. “You guys are worse than kids. No prize trading. The viewers voted Nat and Alec win. They go to the Spa. Everyone else stays here and goes to the beach.”

  Jaymeson raised his hand.

  “What?” Ruben ran his hand through is hair. “What, Jaymeson?”

  “Can I just go to hell? Instead of the beach, I mean?”

  “Pardon?”

  “Hell. I would rather go to Hell than be in the hot sun with that one.” He pointed to Angelica. “I can only take so much. I’m on borrowed time.”

  “Any other questions?” Ruben ignored Jaymeson and searched our faces. “Good.” He clapped his hands one last time. “I’ll text the details to your phone, Alec, you know to keep the others from knowing all the private information and raining
on your parade.”

  “I would freaking storm on their parade if it means I wouldn’t have to be stuck here one more second.” Jaymeson stuffed the rest of the hot dog in his mouth and sighed with his mouth open.

  “Close your mouth.” Angelica pushed him. “Gross.”

  “Only if you open yours, baby. Come on, you can take me.”

  I groaned and shook my head at Alec. “Lucky bastard. I get stuck with them all weekend.”

  “And me!” Alyssa smacked the back of my head. “I’m fun!”

  “You’re fine. They…” I pointed at Angelica and Jaymeson. “… however, may get arrested and take us down with them.”

  Alec pulled out his phone and clicked through the details. His face paled. “Um, I thought we were going to stay in the general area of the, um… coast?”

  Ruben’s eyes narrowed. “Is there a problem?”

  “No.” Alec swallowed and laughed dryly. “I just didn’t expect us to fly somewhere. I mean, it’s only two days.”

  “Stop stressing.” Ruben shrugged. “Go enjoy yourselves.”

  “Right.” Alec bit down on his lip and slipped his phone back into his pocket. “Fun.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Alec

  “Where are we going?” Nat was doing cute little circles around me at the airport.

  All I told her was that the climate was the same as Portland so not to get her hopes up that we were going to Disneyland for the weekend.

  “If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” I kissed her forehead. “Besides, you love surprises.”

  Nat chewed her lower lip. “This is true. But you do know I’m going to find out based on the ticket counter we go to?”

  I smiled. “We’ll see about that.” I led her toward the first class lounge of Alaska Airlines and went to the counter with both our ID’s and ticket info. The great thing about being famous? You could pull strings, and damn if I wasn’t trying to just use this time to be with her and only focus on her. She deserved that much after all the shit going on in my head.