Far From Heaven
He should have known it was futile, but desperation had driven him. He was about to lose her again, and who knew how long he would have to wait this time to find her when she came back—if she came back? He’d been prepared to offer her anything, pay any price just to have her now, but he had to tread carefully.
“Good evening, madam,” he’d said, trying to sound innocuous.
Apparently he wasn’t good at it. She’d taken one glance at him and scurried to her feet, backing against the wall. Yes, it had been far harder for his kind to walk among the masses in those days. Far more of a challenge, far more fun to try. Even in the darkness, he could see the searing blue of her wide eyes, the milky smoothness of her skin. The moonlight glowing off the snow-covered landscape outside her window managed to show him every detail of her delicate face.
She’d stood there, gently panting with her untamed curls loose around her dirty cheeks, looking like a woodland nymph he’d startled. She didn’t speak, but waited for him to continue. He’d ached so hard to tear his way into that room and possess her, he nearly ground his teeth to dust. He’d looped his fingers around the bars and clenched them hard to keep from doing so. “If there were any way possible to escape your fate,” he’d begun, staring hard through those bars into her panicked eyes, “would you take it?”
It was all he was allowed to ask until she answered in a manner consistent with his plans for her, but he’d known it was a lost cause before he finished the question.
Despite her obvious discomfort with him there, her voice had rung out strong and true. “I would not. I would not lie to save myself. Nor would I blaspheme, or sell my soul. I’ll face the flames on the morrow and find my peace in eternity before I face the everlasting fires of Hell.”
It was done, then, hopeless. He’d known she saw the fury rise in his eyes, no doubt turning them crimson at having lost her yet again. He hadn’t been able to resist one final barb. “Shall I ask again, then, when the first of the flames licks the flesh from your body? I should think you’d be much more amenable then.”
“Get thee behind me, Satan!” she’d cried.
The words themselves had hurt, all but throwing him backward. He’d snarled at her and whirled away, scarcely able to rein in his savagery as he stalked down the corridor away from her.
And he watched her die in agony the next morning, wanting to scream, wanting to stop it somehow. Not because he wanted to end her pain—there would be plenty of that where he planned to take her. But because she should be his. The fire had devoured her mercifully fast and the angels had winged down from Heaven to carry her soul home. One of the bastards had seen him there among the onlookers and smirked at him before they shot off and disappeared into the ice-blue sky.
Who was smirking now?
Actually, not him, not at the moment. It took effort to pull his thoughts away from that crisp, terrible winter morning so long ago, but it was over. And he was here, in Madeleine’s bed, where it was warm and dark and he was…wanted. She snuggled against his chest, her breath cool and minty sweet. The memory of her down on her knees in feverish prayer still wreaked havoc on him, though, and while he’d be content to let her drift to sleep—she needed it—he was so hard it hurt.
As if to make the decision for him, she tilted her head up and her lips brushed his. Her fingers slid down to lightly stroke his cock, and every muscle in his abdomen clenched. “Is this for me?” she asked teasingly.
He could only groan her name in reply and sink into her kiss. Plunder the mouth he’d dreamed would someday murmur desperate pleas for deliverance to him rather than to Heaven. Here it was at last; it was his.
“Oh, Ash,” she sighed against his lips.
“I love the sound of that,” he said. “Love to hear you say my name.”
He felt her smile. “Ash.”
“Again.”
She repeated it on a giggle, over and over. He laughed, nibbling her lush bottom lip—which made it difficult for her to speak, but still she tried. He nipped his way down the line of her jaw to her throat, which she bared for his exploration. “Thank you for listening to all my insanity,” she said as he kissed and gently sucked the place where her pulse beat so strongly against her skin. “For understanding me. You don’t know how much it means…”
Her voice trailed away, broken, and he lifted his head to look down at her. Tears glimmered in her eyes. She blinked rapidly as if trying to send them back where they belonged.
It was no use. They belonged to a shattered soul that could never be repaired. Bravely, she forced the words out. “You don’t know how much it means to be with someone I feel like I can tell anything to. It’s so weird, having known you only a week—or maybe that’s why. There isn’t any pressure. What do you think?”
Shit. Did she really expect him to talk right now, when her hand was doing that? He studied her face, the subtle nuances of this incarnation. She always looked the same, for the most part. Always blue-eyed, always dark-haired. Her nose was a little sharper this time, her cheeks more rounded. Despite any slight differences, he knew her face better than he knew his own. “Madeleine, I think you’re incredible. I think…that’s why…oh, fuck…that’s why this dark entity has attached itself to you.”
Her movements ceased, and it was the closest he’d ever come to whimpering like a little girl. Where the hell had that come from?
“Really?”
“Well…I mean, I would.”
She looked at him for a moment, then laughed. He wanted to crawl under the bed. Yeah. Ha, ha. She thanked him now for being here, but oh, how she would hate him and curse him when she learned the truth. Get thee behind me, indeed.
It shouldn’t matter, but it did. As she slid her mouth down his chest, kissing a trail toward the epicenter of erotic agony she’d evoked in him, he fisted his hand in her hair and dreaded that day with everything within him.
No sense in denying it any longer. After all this time, all these centuries, she was here, she was his…and if he wasn’t contractually obligated to take her, he wouldn’t.
Chapter Eleven
Another week passed. Another week ensconced in more bliss than a demon should ever know. He didn’t get to spend every waking moment with her, because she was so often at work. There were days he didn’t see her at all. But that only made the days when he did all the sweeter.
But it was all over with now. He materialized in front of the grand old house Nicolae called home and, for the first time in centuries, he was nervous. He didn’t know what the hell was going to happen here tonight and what implications it could have. The only thing he knew was that he had to get his poker face on, as the humans said. If the angel saw one hint of weakness, Ash would never live it down. He did have a reputation to uphold. He did have a job to do, whether he wanted to or not.
Entering the house, he was greeted with the usual scent of fragrant wax and ages-old tomes, a smell that could portend disaster as easily as success. He fucking hated it here.
Nicolae and the angel were already holed up together in the study, a dim, vast room and the source of the musty ancient-book smell.
Time to put on the mask. Ash smoothed his expression into what he knew was nonchalance of the most arrogant variety and strolled in as if he hadn’t a care in the world. The two looked over at the sound of his footsteps.
“Nicolae, my old friend. Aren’t you nearing retirement age?”
The angel shook his head, but Nicolae ignored the quip as always, giving Ash a minute nod of greeting. “Your attendance and participation are appreciated.”
Ash scoffed and threw himself into one of the gilt chairs sitting in front of Nicolae’s massive desk. The thing was so old it was damn near petrified. “It’s my understanding they were required.”
“You could always forfeit,” the angel remarked. “Really, I wouldn’t mind.”
“I’m sure. So, now that the usual pleasantries are out of the way, let’s get down to business.” He pulled the contract from his
jacket and tossed it on the desk before Nicolae could ask to see it, which he inevitably would. The old man picked it up and unfurled it.
“I love that this is nothing but business for you,” the angel said.
“Well, what is it for you?”
“Far more than that.”
“Oh, come on. You can tell me. Are your numbers dwindling? Not letting as many through the pearly gates? Fighting a losing battle? You should’ve seen the specimen I reaped a couple of weeks ago. Wore sin like a cloak. I’m really doing you a favor, you know. Saving you from having to deal with the dregs of society fighting for entrance into your pristine utopia, so they don’t sully it.”
“And Madeleine? Is she one of the ‘dregs of society’?”
He felt his demeanor crack. The angel’s dark eyebrows rose. Shit. “Of course she is. What else would she be?” His voice was too tight for his own liking. He rubbed a hand across his chest, addressing the ache that formed there at speaking about her in such a manner.
“I know one thing she is. She’s falling in love with a demon, a creature of such vile filth I shudder to think of it.”
“Why are you so distressed? It’s just one girl. One soul.”
“Because she’s a Candidate, you swine.” The righteous indignation coming off the angel was palpable enough that Ash tilted his head back. The world could have ended in that simple statement.
Madeleine, a Candidate? A special soul in training to gain her wings. He’d known they sometimes chose from the old souls to fill their ranks, but not always. In fact, it was so rare it hadn’t even occurred to him.
No wonder she’d been sent back to earth under such vile circumstances this time. It all made sense now, even as he didn’t want to believe it. The unsavory conditions of this life she was living, even before he came into it, were to be her final trial. To see if she could maintain her goodness under duress.
Had he been an idiot not to realize it? Damn. If he didn’t take her now, she’d most likely move on to become one of them after this life cycle…or else she’d be given another go at life, since he’d pretty well sabotaged her this time. Or rejected altogether. Hell, anything could happen.
If she went to the ranks, she would be as the one sitting across from him now. His mortal enemy, both of them locked in an eternal struggle, mere instruments in this never-ending cosmic game.
He couldn’t let that happen, but…
She would be so beautiful with her wings, it would pain him to look upon her. Another ache rose in the heart he hadn’t thought he possessed until he met her.
The angel was waiting for his response to that bombshell. Keeping his expression vague—or, at least, hoping he did—Ash gave him a mocking smile. “Ah. So it all comes clear. Well, don’t get your feathers in a ruffle. She’s my sweet, scrumptious little candidate too. We’ll take good care of her where she’s going.”
“I wonder if telling him that was the smartest move you could make,” Nicolae said and, if Ash didn’t know better, he would think the old man was scolding the angel.
“Yes, I know. He’ll be even more determined now.”
“I told you from the beginning how determined I was. I told you there would be no changing my mind. Whatever yoke you deem fit to strap on her in her afterlife makes no difference to me. She was signed over to me, and I intend to take her.”
Nicolae turned to face him directly, not a hint of intimidation on his seamed face. “I must say, Madeleine’s potential angelhood aside, I find the implications of your contract disturbing. If it’s honored, it might set a precedent that could prove disastrous.”
Ash sniffed. “And how’s that?” he asked flatly.
“Well, once word gets around that any mortal on earth who’s indifferent to another soul can damn that soul to Hell for personal gain, there could be chaos.”
“Not any mortal. I didn’t pull someone off the street. Gatlin was her father. He had claim on her himself, and he simply chose to relinquish it because he’s a filthy bastard.”
“He’s not the only one,” the angel muttered.
Nicolae ignored him. “All the same, we do frown upon these arrangements.”
Ash sat forward, fighting the urge to leap out of his chair. He’d been halfheartedly thinking of a way to release Maddie himself, but he wanted it to be on his terms. His decision. If he was going to suffer punishment for losing a soul, he wanted it to be because he chose to. Not because he suffered a defeat. “Frown all you want. You aren’t taking this away from me, damn you.”
“Riam and I have been discussing it at length.” So that was the angel’s name. “We’ve found ourselves in a bit of a gray area, but we’ve reached what we feel is a fair compromise, and we were hoping you would be amenable. If not, then as the holder of the contract, you have the right to refuse. But with a potential angel at stake, Riam is prepared to take this matter to the High Tribunal, and I must say I’d be happy to refer it on.”
Son of a bitch. The High Tribunal was supposedly neutral, like Nicolae, but it rarely turned out well for Ash’s side.
“This isn’t right. If she wasn’t a Candidate, you wouldn’t blink. What gives her more value than any other soul? The mere fact that you want to fit her with feathers and a friggin’ gold halo and allow her to run amok spouting self-righteous bullshit? That’s grand.”
“Do you want to hear the terms of our compromise or not?” Riam demanded. “Because we can go straight to—”
“Fine. State the terms.”
Nicolae gave one brief nod. “It’s really quite simple. Offer her the same bargain.”
“What?”
“It’ll be her final trial of sorts,” Riam said. “Only punctuated. Make her aware of what she’s facing. Do whatever you must to be certain she fully believes you. Then tell her she has the option of naming another who can go to Hell in her stead.”
“This is preposterous.”
Riam was already talking over Ash’s protest. “If she does so, then your contract is in full force and she will be yours to do with whatever you wish. But you may only take her, not who she names.”
“And if she doesn’t name another?”
“Then your contract is null and void. You’ll destroy it. You will no longer have any hold on her whatsoever. She will be completely free from you. She’ll belong to us.”
Ash felt a grin unfurl across his lips. “Impressive. If she tries to take the way out, she goes down. Such trickery even we rarely employ.”
The angel scoffed. “I seriously doubt that. It’s the only thing we could think of that you might agree to.”
“I’m surprised you agree to it, that you aren’t prepared to press the matter and try to get her released without putting her in such a predicament.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“No, really. You’re that certain of victory, aren’t you?”
“If she’s truly fit for our ranks, and I’m convinced she is, then she will be that selfless. Yes.”
“And if she’s not, to Hell with her, quite literally. Right?” Ash chuckled. Riam only glared. “At any rate, it’s an easy way to placate me, if I’ll go along like a good little boy.”
“Are you in agreement or not, demon? I could banter with you all day, but unfortunately I have scores of your kind’s victims to contend with.”
A vision of Madeleine’s face rose in his thoughts, her blue eyes dancing as she looked at him. If he accepted the compromise, that meant he had to tell her what he was, what he’d done. Somehow it seemed far worse than the thought of taking her unaware. Inconceivable, almost. And if she tried to save herself, he had to be willing to watch her horror as she realized she’d just doomed herself.
He had to repress a growl and an outburst of furious frustration that might blow this house to pieces and hurtle Riam and Nicolae a hundred miles away. For the first time, he wished he’d never appeared in Gatlin’s crappy, rat-infested apartment twenty-seven years ago. He almost wished he’d never set eyes on Madeleine. O
r that he’d just taken her soul in the damn parking garage, or in the street, like he would have done if he hadn’t been a colossal idiot. He wished he’d done it before he’d known her.
“Do we have an accord?” Riam asked.
It might still give him everything he wanted. Or he might lose her altogether.
One of his colleagues had been in love with an angel once. For centuries, he’d pined for her. When he’d tried to have her, finally, it had caused such an upheaval no one was certain whatever became of him. Ash wasn’t prepared to go through that. He’d endured enough torment. He couldn’t take any more.
It was only when the angel shifted uncomfortably that Ash realized he’d been staring dead at him, unmoving, for a good minute or so. With a snarled curse, he pushed himself out of his chair in a sudden burst of movement that made the other two flinch. Good. They were right to be afraid of him right now; he wanted to punch a hole in the world.
“We don’t require your answer this very moment,” Nicolae said calmly as Ash paced the length of the room like a caged beast, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. Given the way Riam’s jaw tightened, he wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of delaying the matter. “So long as you don’t move to collect before you’ve given us your decision, of course.”
No, he had to decide now—Metos would be after him yet again, wanting to know what the fuck was taking so long now that the stay was lifted. He’d be demanding Ash do whatever Nicolae asked to get their precious acquisition with as little hassle or outside interference as possible.
But he was beyond tossing back a scathing taunt at the other two. Indecision burned like flames licking at his skin. He wasn’t accustomed to not seeing the way clearly before him. He’d wanted Madeleine, he’d gone after her. Part of him was screaming to refuse their compromise and face the High Tribunal, if that was what it took to claim her. The other part…