Ballad (Rockstar #5)

  “Oh boy.” I gulp.

  “It won’t be pretty and she won’t be back, so we won’t have to worry about her again.”

  Holy Hannah the Russos mean business.

  “What about the others?”

  “They won’t be a problem anymore either.”

  I meet her gaze and see a blankness that usually isn’t there. Cage walks up and her whole expression changes when he puts his hand on her lower back.

  “Fee. Nicole,” he says by way of greeting.

  “Morning Cage.”

  “Everything all right?” he asks, not to me but to Sera, who’s turned into his embrace. She pulls back and meets his gaze.

  “Just fine, why?”

  “There’s more…”

  “More?” she asks, her posture going rigid.

  “Yes, and we need to talk with Damian and the others.”

  Sera’s face goes hard. “Do I want to ask?”

  He shakes his head.

  “Shit,” she mutters. “I have to…” she says, waving a hand at Cage.

  “Go, go. Don’t even worry about me.”

  “Lady bug, I’m always going to worry about you. Just not as much now that you’ve got Ben,” she tells me as she hugs me. Then in a blink they’re gone.

  Something’s going down. Something very, very bad.

  WE STEP ONTO the bus and Damian, Ernesto, and a few others from the Famiglia crew are there.

  “Tell me,” I say before I even sit down.

  Ernesto shakes his head.

  Damian sighs. “They took one of Jesse’s sisters.”

  I stand immediately. “What? Who? How?” Fear, anger, dread fill me.

  “Jeni’s safe at Lucy’s house, but Jana went rogue. She went home, to her house. We had eyes on her but not enough. They grabbed her at a mall and there hasn’t been any sign of her since,” Damian tells me.

  “Oh God,” I say, rubbing my hands over my face. “Jesse… Lucy,” I murmur.

  “We don’t know—” Ernesto starts.

  “Don’t bullshit me, Nesto. You know as well as I do, the Manzinis take no prisoners. They just leave bodies,” I state.

  He nods grimly.

  “There’s no way to find her before it’s too late?” I ask, looking to Cage.

  He looks at me and I can see the sadness and anger in the depths of his gaze. “It’s already too late.”

  “How long have they had her?”

  “Since yesterday,” Ernesto replies.

  “And by the time we find her…” Damian trails off.

  “She’ll already be dead.” Shit. Oh God, oh God, oh God, what this is going to do to my sister and brother is going to be nothing short of absolute carnage. “I’m going to kill a motherfucker,” I state as I pound my fist on the table.

  Damian’s eyebrows raise.

  “I can swear if I want to,” I tell him.

  “And you do, just usually not that harsh.”

  “There’s a time and place for everything.”

  “True enough,” he mutters and I turn it off. All feeling. All anger. All emotion. Only purpose fuels me right now.

  I walk over to where Misty is sitting tied to a chair. She meets my gaze and smirks. I turn to Cage and he ever-so-slightly inclines his head. If you weren’t looking closely, you’d miss his approval.

  “You got something to smirk about, Misty?” I ask.

  She snorts. “You’re going to let me go or that bitch is dead.”

  I snort back. “Bitch, whether I let you go or not, she’s dead and so are you.”

  Her face pales. “My brother-in-law, he’ll have information…”

  “Which we’ll get from him…and your sister.”

  Her eyes widen.

  “And when we’re satisfied we got everything we need, they’re going to end up in the body bag right alongside you,” I tell her, leaning down to look her square in the eyes, almost nose-to-nose.

  She gasps. “You can’t—”

  “Oh, I can and I will.” I hold my hand out to Damian who, again, lifts a brow, but doesn’t miss a beat as he passes over his pocketknife.

  I open it, testing the blade against my thumb even though I know it’s sharp enough to cut through bone.

  I whistle and wink at Damian, who winks back.

  “Fuck,” Ernesto mutters and Misty flinches.

  “Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you yet,” I tell her, walking back in front of her. I sit on a chair across from her. The look of relief on her face is short lived when I tell her, “Besides, there are much worse things than death.”

  “Please—” she pleads.

  I run the tip of the blade down her bare thigh, her mini skirt barely covering her panties. When it doesn’t puncture her skin, she relaxes just a bit, and it’s that bit that reminds me that she smirked at me.

  Taking the blade in my left hand, I point at her. “You smirked at me.”

  “I didn’t,” she says, shaking her head frantically.

  “You did. You smirked at me about Jana and I gotta tell you, Misty, that pisses me right off. Pissing me off isn’t a good thing, just ask these guys,” I say, pointing to the table behind me.

  They don’t say anything, just look on.

  Misty shakes her head, tears free falling down her cheeks.

  “Do you think your tears matter to me?”

  “Please—”

  “They don’t matter to me and neither does your pleading, so save it. Do you think tears and pleading are going to make a difference to Jana, wherever she is?” I ask, moving the blade closer to her arm.

  “I—I don’t—” she stutters.

  “They won’t. Nothing is going to matter and you had a hand in this. I don’t know how, but I’ll find out, and I’m going to kill you for it. It won’t be a quick mercy killing either.” I stick the blade in her upper arm just enough to make it bleed and she cries out. “You think this hurts?”

  I get up from my chair and walk around hers, standing behind her. I grip her hair and with a swipe of the knife, I shear it off.

  “I heard you making fun of Coley for not having hair. You think it’s funny, the fact that she struggled with an illness that nearly killed her? It’s a fucking miracle she’s still breathing!” I shout, then plunge the knife into her shoulder, before deftly pulling it back out, wiping the blade clean against her shirt. Misty lets out a scream that echoes throughout the bus.

  “Sit real still,” I warn, then run the blade along Misty’s scalp, dry shaving her hair off, leaving her bald. When I finish her entire head, I walk in front of her and push her head back with my hand against her forehead.

  When I lean in, she flinches.

  “I’d be very still if I were you,” Cage warns, knowing I don’t want to maim her just yet. She does as he suggests and I shave her eyebrows off.

  “There. Now you have no hair either.” Misty hangs her head. “It makes you feel exposed, vulnerable, even weak, doesn’t it?” I ask. “Imagine how you’d feel if you were sick, so sick you couldn’t walk or go to the bathroom by yourself, and bald. Just imagine the humility that takes. The courage. The strength. To go on every day and fight for your life, all the while they’re pumping poison through your veins to try to save you—” I shake my head. “And Coley fought like a champion all while she was in foster care. That makes her a hero. That makes her my hero. And you? That makes you a shallow bitch.” I emphasize the word bitch with a stab of the blade to her other shoulder. I pull it back out, not even hearing her cries and wails anymore. I hear nothing but I do feel something. I feel the need for justice.

  I bend my knees, dropping to her level, and when she looks at me, I tell her the only thing I have left to say to her.

  “I’m going to enjoy killing you.”

  WE GOT TO the hotel nearly two hours ago and no sign of Ben. What the fuck? I sigh. I should have known he’d go back on his word. I sit on the bed and let out another sigh. I don’t bother fighting the tears, I just let them go. There?
??s no one here to see.

  I love that idiot and, God, how I wish he loved me in return.

  There’s a soft knock on my door and I quickly wipe my eyes and face. When I open it, there stands Lucian.

  “Hey baby,” he says, his smile fading as he sees my red, blotchy face. The joys of being a redhead. “What’s wrong?” he asks, guiding me into my room.

  I just shake my head. “Nothing.”

  He quirks his brow.

  “Really, nothing.”

  I see the light bulb moment for him, then the sad smile.

  “What happened?”

  “You already asked that,” I tell him with a shove to his shoulder.

  “You didn’t answer—not really.”

  “It’s stupid really. I mean, why did I think he’d want to be with someone like me? Someone who’d only slow him down? He’s a fucking rockstar. What was I thinking?” I wonder aloud as I pace, trying to bite back the tears.

  “Stop that right now. He might have gotten hung up doing some shit, you know how it is.”

  I shrug my shoulder skeptically.

  “He’s Lucy’s bro-in-law, which means he’s going to have to cater to her needs when Jesse needs help, and I’m sure it’s not easy getting set up in their suite with a woman toting around three Kingstons in her belly,” he says.

  “Maybe.” I still don’t believe it.

  “Did he make plans with you?” he asks, reaching out to wipe an errant tear. Damn tear.

  I nod. “He said he wanted to take me out to dinner and that we were going to spend time together.”

  “Maybe he’s setting some things up. That takes time, even with the pull Cage has,” he reassures me.

  I nod again. “Possibly. He didn’t really say which day, either.”

  “Why don’t we go take a walk and see if we can’t find the fucktard that is Ben Kingston,” Lucian suggests.

  I shrug. I don’t even know if I want to bother. My excitement and hope has fizzled quickly to mere specks.

  “C’mon, baby,” he encourages, throwing an arm around my shoulder.

  I sigh. “All right. Let me grab my key.” After I do, we head toward the elevators.

  Twenty minutes later and still no Ben. I’m getting tired but I don’t want to admit that to Lucian. The last thing I want is for everyone to get more protective than they already are.

  I sigh and take a seat on a sofa in the lobby.

  “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere,” Lucian tells me.

  “I’m sure he is,” I agree. In some girl’s bed… a bed that isn’t mine. He doesn’t want someone sick and inexperienced. I’m such an idiot.

  Justin walks in the front doors, the noise from the street following him inside and quickly extinguishing as they close.

  “There’s my Nikki girl,” he teases.

  I really hate that name. I just give him a weak wave and his brows furrow.

  “What’s going on?” he asks, looking between me and Lucian.

  I just shrug.

  “You seen Ben?” Lucian asks.

  “Uh,” Justin begins, looking sideways at me in discomfort, then he looks to Lucian. “Yeah.”

  “See, there you go,” Lucian exclaims, pulling me to my feet.

  “Uh,” Justin says again. Lucian isn’t listening—but I am and I hear the caution in his tone.

  “Where’s that fucker?” Lucian asks.

  Justin swears under his breath, rubbing a hand along the back of his neck.

  “Just tell us,” I say meekly, and Justin’s eyes snap to mine. He sees it. The defeat. His eyes spark with anger.

  “I’ll do you one better. I’ll show you,” he says, then mutters, “so I can punch that fucker in the face,” under his breath quietly, but I still hear. This isn’t going to be pretty.

  We get outside and then walk around the side of the building and see some of the guys from the bands standing around with a bunch of groupies and I take a deep breath. No, this definitely won’t be pretty. It’s going to be ugly and it’s going to hurt.

  Lucian’s grip on my hand loosens, and he pulls me to his side.

  “Son of a bitch.”

  I can’t see what he sees because I’m too short, but it’s coming. Dread settles in the pit of my stomach, fear fills my chest, my heart frozen.

  And then I see him. Standing in a crowd of scantily clad women, autographing their chests.

  “Classy,” I mutter.

  “Isn’t it though,” Lucian bites out.

  “Hey, dick!” Justin shouts as we walk a closer. Ben immediately looks over and when his gaze meets mine, regret fills his features.

  “Too late, fuckwad,” I mutter and Lucian chuckles. My hands ball into fists and it’s all I can do not to run up to him and claw his fucking face off. It’s not them I’m pissed at. Nope. It’s him. This is all on him.

  “Ben, Ben, Ben,” Xander says, walking up along my other side, wrapping his arm around my waist. “What a fucking idiot. You’d think you’d have learned from what happened to Jesse. Remember that? Chicks, Lucy, fists flying, broken hand?”

  “I remember,” Ben mutters. “Nicole—”

  I hold up a hand. “Don’t bother.”

  “It’s not what it looks like.”

  “It never is,” Justin replies.

  “Ain’t that the truth,” I agree.

  Justin walks up behind me, resting his hands on my shoulders.

  “We had a scheduled signing session,” Ben begins, lamely.

  I just nod.

  Xander snorts. “That was over an hour ago.”

  “Not helping,” Ben says.

  “Not trying to,” Xander tells him flatly. “Dumbass.”

  I take a deep breath then turn to Lucian, Xan, and Justin. “I’ll be back in just a minute.”

  They murmur their agreement and I straighten my spine before walking the thirty feet separating me and Ben.

  “I won’t take long, ladies,” I tell them, “but could I have a couple of minutes with Ben?” I ask.

  They all nod and head over to where the other band members are.

  “You know,” I begin, “I thought you meant what you said.”

  He opens his mouth but I hold up a hand.

  “Don’t. Shut your mouth until I’m finished.”

  He nods.

  “I thought we’d have a nice dinner, go back to my room where you’d do all of those things you talked about last night. I thought you really wanted me, the sick girl from foster care.” I shake my head in defeat. “What the fuck was I thinking?”

  I hear Lucian growl behind me.

  “I had a signing and I got caught up, Coley. I swear. I have our dinner planned for an hour from now. It’s all set up. I thought that’d give you time to get ready without over-exerting yourself. I don’t want you to get tired or overdo it.”

  “I don’t want you to be worried about me, Ben. I want to have you take me, to ravish me with the intensity of a man who genuinely wants his woman. I don’t want your meaningless excuses. I saw you with them, how you smiled, how you enjoyed their company. I’ve never seen you look at me like that. Not once. I’ve seen sincerity and compassion, and what I thought was possibly love but now know to be pity.”

  “Nicole—” he begins and I cut him off with a look.

  “I want to be wanted and taken with all the passion that the man who claims to care about me should have within himself. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. I mean, I see you dish that shit out all the time to strangers with just a look,” I say and he flinches.

  “I don’t think you know what you’re asking of me, Coley.”

  “I’m not asking for anything, Ben.” I shrug. “I just thought you might like to have some fun, but obviously you’re not up for it.”

  I pause and look down at his erection straining behind his zipper.

  I tilt my head to the side and it hits me. “Or maybe you are, but you’re too afraid of anything more than a random fuck.”

 
I give him one last look and shrug again as I turn around and head back toward Lucian, Justin, and Xander.

  “Your loss,” I call over my shoulder.

  Chew on that a while rockstar.

  I don’t get but a foot away before a hand clamps over my upper arm and spins me back around. I’m too startled to speak.

  “You’re not going to dismiss me this time, Nicole. Not this time,” Ben tells me, backing me up against the wall.

  “You need to listen, and listen good because I’m fucking pissed and I never want to talk about this again, got it?” he asks. When I don’t respond, he gives me a slight shake. “Got it?”

  I nod.

  “The reason why you haven’t seen that look I give those other women is because none of them matter. You matter.”

  I snort and he gives me a look that has me shutting up.

  “You fucking matter, Coley. You walked on that bus and got under my skin and I haven’t been able to shake you since. I don’t want to shake you. But I don’t want to hurt you either. What you want me to do, to take you the way I want, you’ll be sore, bruised, and exhausted for days and I’m not sure—”

  “Dude,” Xander cuts in. “Fucking take your woman up to her room and give her what she wants. She may be sick but if she couldn’t handle it, she wouldn’t be wanting it.” He turns to me. “And if it gets to be too much, she’ll say stop,” he questions and I nod.

  “There you go, dickhead,” Lucian tells him. “Either you treat her how she deserves to be treated, or I will and you’ll never get her back.”

  Ben’s eyes narrow. “Keep dreaming, Cordero.”

  He dips down and throws me over his shoulder.

  “You want it wild, you want it passionate? Here we go,” he mutters as we walk past the guys. Xander lets out a whoop.

  We get to the front of the hotel and the doorman holds the door, a grin on his face. I’m sure I look just lovely. My ass in the air and on display for all the world to see.

  “You want me to take you unrestrained? Fine,” he says, talking more to himself than to me and I want to laugh, but I don’t. I just grin. The elevator doors open and we step inside. Thankfully it’s empty or I’d be blushing right now with the things Ben’s muttering.