Ballad (Rockstar #5)

  “I’m going to take you every way I want to tonight and you’re going to let me. I’m going to lick your pussy and make you come again and again until you’re begging me for mercy. But this first time, I’m going to fuck you until you’re screaming my name,” he tells me. “Give me your room key.”

  I reach into my back pocket and hand it to him. He unlocks the door and steps inside. He stops and the door closes behind us, silence greeting us except for the faint sound of the traffic below.

  “There’s only one rule, Nicole, and you have to promise you’ll follow it.”

  I nod against his back.

  “If it becomes too much or you’re tired or don’t feel well, you’ll tell me. If you don’t, I’ll be majorly pissed off, so promise me you will.”

  I nod.

  “The words, honey. I want the words.”

  I gulp. Holy Hannah. It looks like I’m going to get what I wanted after all. He does want me. Me. The sick nobody from nowheresville who just might be dying. I close my eyes and swallow back the emotion.

  “I promise.”

  In the next instant he’s striding down the hall at a breakneck pace, then we’re in the master bedroom, and I’m slowly set on the bed. I kneel in front of him and his gaze pierces mine.

  “I don’t want you to ever doubt me again, Nicole. I get it. I do. But when I told you it was you, I meant it. Never have I ever felt even close to what I feel for you.”

  I swallow hard.

  “You’re right. I am scared. I’m scared because this isn’t meaningless. This means everything and I don’t want to fuck it up.”

  I open my mouth and he lifts a brow. I shut it.

  “Take your shirt off, honey.”

  I feel the blush, but I do as he asks.

  “I like that blush. That means very few men have seen you, otherwise you’d be comfortable showing me your body,” he says huskily. “Stand up.”

  I do as he asks and immediately wobble on the mattress. I grab onto his shoulders and he nods in approval.

  “Kick those sexy as fuck shoes off,” he tells me, and the platform sandals hit the floor. I immediately feel the loss of the four-inch heels. “How you don’t break your neck walking in those things, I’ll never know and I don’t care. Just keep wearing them.”

  I lick my lips and his gaze zeroes in on the movement. He lifts his index finger and traces the wetness on my lips.

  “One day I’m going to fuck this pretty little mouth the way I’ve been dreaming.” He shakes his head. “So many times I’ve jacked off thinking of these pink lips wrapped around my cock. So many times,” he murmurs.

  And then he loses it. He unsnaps my pants and pulls them down my legs, throwing me off balance so I fall on the bed. He grunts and tosses the pants across the room.

  His shirt is nearly ripped in his rush to get it off. His belt holds him up and he curses under his breath. I watch in awe as this beautiful man bares himself to me. He kicks his boots off, then steps out of his jeans.

  I swallow hard when I see the outline of his erection through his boxer briefs. He’s so beautiful. He pulls his boxer briefs down and his hard length dips down under the heavy weight.

  “Last chance, Nicole. Do you want this—and when I say ‘this’ I mean you and me forever. Once I have you there’s no going back, not for either of us,” he tells me.

  “Why?” I whisper, still not understanding how…

  “Honey,” he whispers, then comes to lay down beside me, his hand cupping my cheek. “Don’t you know? Haven’t you figured it out?”

  I don’t say a word, just hold my breath in anticipation.

  His gaze locks on mine. “Why? Because I have no choice anymore, Nicole. I’m in love with you and I have been for longer than I’ll ever admit,” he tells me with a soft chuckle.

  I grin and stare at this gorgeous man through eyes blurred by tears. “I—this is just so surreal,” I admit. “Never in my wildest dreams…” I trail off.

  “Believe it. Please don’t doubt me again. I don’t ever say what I don’t mean.”

  I lift a brow. “Oh, I don’t know. There was a time or two when you said you didn’t want—” He cuts me off when his mouth slants across mine and he kisses me. Not restrained. Not soft and gentle. No. This is the kiss of a man who wants his woman. This is the kiss of a man who wants me.

  I wrap my arms around him and kiss him back with equal fervor. He pushes us up the bed so my head rests on the pillows and he looks down at me before reaching beneath me and unhooking my bra. There is no asking. There is only taking.

  In the next breath, he’s whisking my panties down my legs. I kick them off my toe and onto the floor.

  His eyes roam slowly over my body, taking in everything, and for the first time in my life, I truly feel beautiful in the eyes of a man. This man, as his eyes worship my body, steals more and more of my heart with each minute that passes.

  I lift up and kiss his lips, drawing out a groan from the man who is about to become my lover. His hands cup my breasts softly, his thumbs sliding across the tips causing me to gasp aloud.

  “I like that sound. Let me hear you. I want to know I’m pleasing you,” Ben tells me before slamming his mouth down over mine again, his tongue caressing mine, and I involuntarily lift my hips against his. He growls.

  The soft caress of his hand as it slides down my body draws out another gasp. And when his fingers slip between my legs and he touches me, he curses aloud when he feels my wetness.

  “Fuck, you’re so wet, honey. Is that how much you want me, Nicole? Is that how much you need me?” he asks, as if seeking his own reassurances.

  “Yes, Ben. Please—” I trail off as he pushes a finger inside. “Holy Hannah,” I mutter aloud and Ben chuckles. The push and pull of his finger inside me creates a glorious friction and before long I’m a writhing mess. Ben adds a second finger and I moan long and loud.

  “There you go, honey. Let me hear your pleasure.”

  I have no choice anymore. My body is his instrument and he is its master. He plays my body just as deftly as he plays the chords on his guitar, taking me higher and higher then stopping so I come back down. After the third time I slap him and he laughs.

  “So greedy. Do you want to come, honey?” he whispers against my ear before biting the lobe.

  I moan out a “Yes,” and he gives me what I need, working his fingers faster and pressing the heel of his hand against my clit. When he presses harder, I cry out, pleasure so intense bright lights and stars form behind my eyes, my body stiffening and shuddering in release.

  He removes his fingers and I’m still coming. He replaces them with his cock. I can’t even form a thought, the orgasm so fierce it stole my breath.

  He pushes his cock inside me, slowly, and I gasp. I meet his gaze, holding it steady as he joins us together. I know when he discovers my virginity, his brows furrow, and his mouth opens. I don’t want him to yell. I don’t want him to say no. This is perfect and I want this, so I hold his hips in my hands and lift my hips, forcing his penis through the fragile barrier that hurts like a motherfucker, much more than I imagined. I bite my lip to stop myself from crying out in pain when Ben lets out a groan of pleasure.

  His forehead drops to mine when he’s fully seated inside me, the pain slowly diminishing, but the burn—that’s still there.

  “You should have told me,” he says through clenched teeth.

  “When would I have done that? When you were fucking other women or when you were denying what was between us?” I ask.

  “Touche, but there was time now, before—” He groans aloud when I wiggle my hips, trying to adjust to his size.

  “God, don’t move. Not yet. You’re so tight and wet. As if that’s not enough,” he breathes with a strained chuckle, “knowing that I was your first, that you gave me that, I could come from that alone.” He’s breathing so hard and I love that he’s getting pleasure from my body.

  After a few minutes, Ben slowly pulls his hips b
ack, watching my reaction, before pushing back in.

  “Am I hurting you?” he asks.

  I shake my head. “Not so much anymore. It’s more of a burn—oh!” I cry out when he hits a magical spot inside me.

  “Right there?” he asks, hitting that spot again, bringing forth a moan, and then he smiles. “Oh yeah, right there. I’m going to make you come again, Coley. I want to feel you tighten around my dick as you come.”

  “Holy Hannah.”

  He chuckles. “What?”

  “You’re so good at the dirty talk. I never thought that’d turn me on,” I admit.

  “But it does.”

  “Uh-huh,” I breathe as his hips begin moving faster, his penis touching me deep, so deep. His mouth covers my nipple and he begins sucking it into his mouth as he fucks me faster, harder.

  “Mmm, honey, your moans are going to make me blow my load before I’m ready to. So fucking sexy,” he pants against my chest.

  “I can’t—” I say to no one. I need something more. I lift my legs, wrapping them around his waist, and pleasure engulfs me. “Oh my God, Ben,” I moan.

  “Yeah, fuck, you feel so good, I can’t—shit,” he moans but he doesn’t give in to his pleasure, he pumps into me faster, harder, deeper until I can’t see, hear, feel, or smell anything but this man making my body his.

  “Ben!” I scream as the first wave of pleasure rolls over me, then again and again, his name a mantra. Then he curses long and low, his breath catching, and I can feel him grow larger inside me.

  “Nicole,” he whispers and his body stiffens, his face contorting in pleasurable pain, and then he stills above me.

  Wow. So that’s what the big deal is. I definitely want to do that a lot—like a lot. I can’t imagine Ben will object.

  “I can hear you thinking. Tell me,” he says against my neck.

  “I just never knew, you know?”

  He nods.

  “And I want to do that a lot,” I confess and I feel his smile against my neck.

  “Good. So do I,” he tells me.

  “Ben?”

  “Hmm?” he asks, lazily raising up on one elbow to look down at me.

  “You know what you said before?”

  “Which part? I said a whole lot of things.”

  I swallow back my fear and lay it out there. “When you said you were in love with me.”

  “I meant it, honey.”

  I nod. “I’m in love with you too,” I tell him and his smile—I’ve only seen that smile once before and that was the day on stage when he admitted he wanted to be with me.

  “Thank Christ,” he whispers and kisses me gently. “I don’t want to move, but we should check out the damage.”

  I wince as he pulls his softening penis from inside me. “Whaaa—” I say and he winces with me.

  I lean back, looking up at the ceiling and I can feel his gaze on me. I blow out a breath. “Did I bleed?”

  He nods. “Not too much, but I don’t know what’s normal for virgins.”

  “You say it like it’s a disease.”

  He shakes his head with a smirk. “No. I just would have done things differently had I known.”

  I cup his face in my hands. “It was perfect. Every second of it.”

  “Yeah?” he asks.

  I nod and sniffle. He taps his index finger against my nose.

  “I love you, Nicole.”

  “Oh God,” I say before my breath backs up in my lungs. Just hearing those words— “I love you, too, Ben.”

  “You know,” he begins and I can hear the teasing tone, “you’re a wild cat in the sack.”

  I snort. “I haven’t even clawed up your back or anything yet.”

  “No, you haven’t. I can only imagine how uninhibited you’re going to get each time we fuck,” he says with a wiggle of his brows.

  I roll my eyes.

  “Let’s go shower, honey. Then we’ll order room service since we missed our reservation, and if you’re not too sore, we’ll do that a few more times,” he tells me as he carries me into the bathroom.

  “Sounds like the perfect plan.”

  JESUS. A VIRGIN. And she gave me that gift. I shake my head as Nicole sleeps soundly beside me. I shouldn’t have taken her twice more last night, or again this morning, but I couldn’t help myself. I want to imprint myself inside her body, her heart, and her mind.

  It was only when her eyes began to droop after we made love the last time, that I backed off and let her rest. Knowing Nicole, she’d have kept going until she was fucking me in her sleep.

  Knowing how it felt to be inside her, the way my heart felt when I was inside her, was indescribable. It’s so much more than I ever imagined it to be. Now I get it, that connection between Jesse and Lucy. I just never imagined loving someone with my entire body and it scares the fuck out of me.

  Coley murmurs in her sleep and I soothe her with my palm on her forehead. Christ, she’s hot, and I don’t mean in a good way. This can’t be good.

  “Nicole, honey?” I prod, trying to wake her up.

  “Mmm, go ‘way,” she mutters and I chuckle.

  “Come on, honey. Wake up a minute.”

  Her eyes blink as she gains focus. “Ugh,” she says, kicking the blankets off. “Too hot.”

  “That’s why I woke you. You have a fever, Coley,” I tell her softly.

  Her eyes close then slowly open, meeting mine. She nods.

  “Is that normal?”

  She shakes her head. “No.” She lets out a sigh. “We need to call Dr. Donovan.”

  “I’ll call him. Do you need help getting dressed?”

  “No, love, but thank you.”

  I nod, then kiss her lips, lingering so she doesn’t see the fear in my eyes.

  I pull on my boxer briefs and jeans then wander into the living area to call the doc.

  “Donovan.”

  “Hey, doc. It’s Ben.”

  “What can I do for you, Ben?” he asks.

  “I’m with Nicole and she’s got a fever.”

  “Have you taken her temperature?”

  “No. Just called you.”

  “What room are you in?” he asks.

  “619.”

  “I’ll be right there.”

  He clicks off and I have a feeling this isn’t going to be good. Not good at all.

  “Is this the first you’ve noticed an elevated temperature?” Dr. Donovan asks Nicole.

  She nods.

  “Okay. Let’s take a look, shall we?” he asks, then puts a thermometer in Nicole’s ear for a few seconds before it beeps. He looks at the number, his expression doesn’t change. He grabs another thermometer and this one he runs along Coley’s forehead. Again, he looks at the number, and again his expression stays the same. I bet he’s a champ at poker.

  Finally, he puts one under her tongue.

  “This one’ll take the longest.”

  Nicole gives him a look. “You could have done this while doing the other two.”

  “Mouth closed,” he scolds. “Yes, I could have but then I wouldn’t have been able to tell you your temperature is 102.4 without you swearing at me.”

  She nods and narrows her eyes.

  “What does that mean?” I ask.

  “It’s not uncommon for patients with ALL to experience fevers, but we need to rule out infection before we assume it’s that simple.”

  The thermometer beeps and the doc takes it out of Nicole’s mouth.

  “All the same. Seems we’ve got an issue, Coley,” he tells her.

  She sighs. “So it would seem. Blood and urine. I know the drill.”

  He nods. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you.”

  She shrugs. “This is the easy part.”

  I hug her to me. “I’m sorry honey. Is there anything I can do?”

  She shakes her head. “Just hold me.”

  “That I can do.”

  Dr. Donovan pulls out empty v
ials and the tools he needs to take Coley’s blood and I want to howl at the injustice of it all. She’s so beautiful, so smart and funny. She’s got her entire life ahead of her, but what if cancer robs her of that life? What if cancer takes her from me? My breath catches. That can’t happen.

  The doc is on his fourth vial when I raise a brow.

  “We have to rule everything out and test her levels.”

  I nod and hold my girl tighter.

  “Is she going to be okay?” I ask.

  The doc looks at me. “If I have anything to do about it, she will.”

  I nod. Good man.

  “Here you go,” he tells Nicole, handing her a plastic cup. “Fill ‘er up.”

  She snorts. “I’ll do my best.”

  She walks into the bathroom and I drop my head into my hands.

  “You’re doing great, Ben. Just keep supporting her. She needs you. You can fall apart later if it’s warranted,” he tells me.

  I nod. “I can’t lose her, man.”

  “You’re not going to. We have options. And just in case, I’m going to request that all of you who are willing, get tested to see if you’re a possible bone marrow match.”

  “God,” I mutter. “That’s…”

  “Invasive? Dangerous? Life threatening?” he nods. “But it can also save her life with the right match.”

  I nod and swallow down the rising bile.

  Coley walks back into the room carrying her cup, her face a bit paler than usual.

  “There’s my girl,” I praise. “She’s a champion.”

  She snorts again.

  “You’re spending too much time around Sera. All that snorting,” I tease.

  She snickers. “I like her.”

  “Yeah, she’s pretty easy to like.”

  “Unless you’re on the wrong end of her gun,” she tells me.

  “No shit. That’s a scary thought.”

  The doc chuckles. “She doesn’t scare me.”

  “Piss her off or hurt her family and she’ll scare you so much you piss your pants,” Coley tells him.

  “I don’t plan on doing either.”

  “Then you’re safe.”

  He nods. “I’ll get these to the lab right away and I’ll spread the word about getting tested.”

  When he’s gone, Nicole lies back. “Bone marrow donors?”