First Comes Love

  Leaning his forehead against hers, he panted, his gaze meeting hers in an intense stare. “I fucking love you, Katherine D’Angelo. I love you.”

  How was it nothing they’d just done had been gentle, yet it some how constituted making love? This intensity, raw affection and passion she shared with him was ever growing and changing her in ways she never expected to change. “I love you too.”

  They slid apart by small degrees and her skin heated every time she caught him watching her. Straightening her dresser, her eyes widened as she felt another difference between using condoms and not. Heat slowly trickled down her thigh and she stilled. “I need a shower.”

  Fleeing the room, with only her robe, she raced to the bathroom. As she mechanically washed away all remnants of sex, her body luxuriated in the tender ache that lingered in her muscles. Suds trailed over her belly as—“Jesus, you scared me!”

  He laughed, climbing into the small tub as steam swirled around them. “Now that’s a sight. Mind if I join you?”

  He was way too big for her shower. Reaching over her head, he tilted the showerhead and sprayed his chest with water. Rolling his head over his shoulders, he stretched. She stared, mouth open, eyes unblinking. He was so damn good looking—manly—mouthwatering—godly, like Adonis or whoever the hottest god was.

  The water turned back on her and she sputtered. Totally not sexy.

  “You’re staring, kitten.”

  “Well, now I’m blind,” she gasped, wiping her eyes.

  He nudged her shoulder and she turned to face the wall. The cap of the shampoo snapped open as strong hands lifted chunks of hair off her shoulders and massaged her scalp.

  She leaned into his touch, moaning as he worked a thick lather into her hair. “I don’t think I’ve ever washed hair so soft,” he whispered.

  They took turns soaping each other’s bodies and took their time sensing every dip and divot. It was the closest she’d ever been to another person’s naked form.

  Once clean, he pulled her back against his chest and wrapped an arm over her shoulders, hugging her from behind. They swayed as warm water sloshed over their skin. His lips curved against her cheek. “I love touching you.”

  She shut her eyes and rested her other cheek on the hand holding her shoulder. He wasn’t kissing her, just holding her, breathing her in, pressing his lips to her as if he couldn’t bear to let her go. It was likely the most intimate moment of her entire life.

  She breathed in, swallowing his scent. Never forget that smell. No matter what, always remember how great he smelled.

  Soon after their shower Mia awoke from her nap. Tyson ran home to get Trixie, and Kat’s heart tightened as the three of them played in the back yard. No matter how much the day had strayed from her routine, nothing seemed to break the sense that it somehow found it’s way to being a perfect Sunday after all.

  Leaving Mia in a game of fetch, he smirked and slowly met her at the door. “Do you need to go to the market?”

  She didn’t want to leave, but if she didn’t do her Sunday chores her week would be a bit harder. “Yeah.”

  “Why don’t you go and I’ll keep Mia? We can have dinner at my place tonight.”

  This was big. Though her daughter was adjusting to Tyson’s increasing presence in their life, the more time they spent together the more Mia would assume he was there to stay. She was beginning to wonder why that was such a bad thing. “Are you sure?”

  “Of course. Take a break and go get your errands done. Mia can help me cook.”

  She laughed. “You’re a glutton for punishment.”

  “Nah, I’m just determined to be more successful than I was during our last culinary disaster.”

  She laughed. “This time it’s in your kitchen. Good luck. I’m still finding flour in crevices.”

  Kat was putting cereal in her cart when someone called her name. She turned around and found Jeremy pushing a cart of food. His long sleeved, charcoal gray thermal clung to his muscles, showing off his trim physique. “Jeremy,” she greeted, thinking it was a pleasant surprise. “What are you doing here?”

  “I rented an apartment, so I figured I better stock up on supplies.”

  She looked at his cart. It was overflowing with everything from paper towels to mustard. “You rented a place in Upper New Castle? What about your dad’s house?”

  “Well, the house is worse than I thought. It has to be demolished and rebuilt, which is probably for the best. I don’t have the best memories from living there. So I figured I’d make other arrangements until I hire a contractor and what not. I got a month-to-month lease at The New Castle Crest Apartments.” A shy smile teased his lips. “I wanted to be close to you and Mia.”

  “Oh.” The idea of him being nearby didn’t seem to frighten her so much anymore. “I was going to call you this week.”

  Nervousness replaced his smile.

  “I was thinking about arranging a time and place for you and Mia to meet.”

  His face split with a large authentic grin. “Really? That’s great! Thank you, Kat. Thank you so much.” She gasped as he suddenly hugged her. She tensed and he quickly drew back and apologized. “Sorry.”

  “That’s okay.”

  An awkward silence stretched between them.

  “Where’s Mia?”

  “Oh, she’s with my neighbor.”

  “Oh. Can I walk with you then?”

  “Sure.” She continued pushing her cart down the aisle. He pushed his alongside.

  His hug had triggered memories Kat didn’t know she had inside. His skin carried the same scent as it did in high school, subtle and kind of woodsy. So much of her memories were overshadowed by consequence, it was strange to think they’d shared an intimate past.

  Jeremy had been no different than her parents when it came to support. While Vivian was making appointments at a clinic outside of town for Kat to have an abortion, he was suggesting that might be the best option. As Kat stood her ground, the men in her life lost the strength to look her in the eye, both her father and Jeremy seeing the problem as gone the moment they stopped seeing her and her ever-growing belly.

  “Does Mia like to color?” Jeremy asked bringing her back to the present as he pulled a coloring book off a random rack.

  “Sure.”

  “If I buy this for her, maybe you can give it to her when you tell her about me. That way she’ll know I’m a nice guy.”

  She nodded. It didn’t seem right for this big, strong veteran to need her reassurance about a Hello Kitty coloring book, but she liked that he wanted her approval.

  After they each checked out, he handed her the coloring book. “Thanks for this, Kat. You have no idea what it means to me.”

  She took the book and slipped it into her bag. “I’ll call you this week.”

  “Okay.” He wheeled his cart through the lot and she loaded her bags in the trunk of her car.

  A male voice called her name. Thinking it was Jeremy, she turned and smiled, but it wasn’t him. It was Nathan Lithe. There went her smile.

  “I thought that was you, Kitty Kat.” He leered from the driver’s seat of his Mercedes.

  Her expression went blank. “Hi, Nathan.” She looked for Jeremy, but didn’t see him.

  “What are you up to?” he asked as if they were buddies.

  “Shopping.” She folded her arms across her chest to block his wandering gaze.

  “Who’s your friend?” he asked, tipping up his chin.

  She turned and jumped, finding Jeremy right behind her. Scowling. Strangely, his presence brought a level of relief. “Uh, this is Jeremy. Jeremy, Nathan Lithe, a friend of my parents.” The two nodded at one another, but offered no words of greeting.

  “Where’s Tyson?”

  “He’s home. With Mia.” At the mention of Mia, Jeremy broke eye contact with Nathan and gave her a curious look, but tucked away his questions for later. “Speaking of which, I’d better get back—”

  “Yes, you wouldn’t want T
yson getting upset.”

  At that, Jeremy jerked his gaze back to Nathan and scowled.

  “Quite a temper, that one. Anyway, it was nice seeing you, Kitty Kat. Be a good girl now.” He slowly eased off the brake. “Jeremy.”

  It was odd seeing her parents’ friends in her neighborhood. As his red Mercedes turned the corner, she tried to put her finger on what it was about him that made her so uneasy.

  “Kat, who’s Tyson?” Jeremy asked.

  She turned and shook off the slimy sensation that always came whenever Nathan was around. “Um…” Something shifted in Jeremy’s features. At that moment he looked like he could kill a man in a split second without even breaking a sweat. Again, she was reminded that this was not the boy she dated in high school.

  “Are you okay? Who was that guy?” His shirt tugged across his well-muscled body and his green eyes were alert and intense. “Kat, who was he? How does he know Mia and who’s Tyson?”

  “Tyson’s my neighbor. He’s also my boyfriend, but Mia doesn’t know we’re involved. She already adores him and for her own protection, I didn’t want her to get any ideas about him being a permanent part of our lives.”

  “Is he good to you? To you and Mia?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then why did that guy mention his temper?”

  “Tyson had a…a confrontation at my mother’s party last month.”

  “A confrontation?”

  “Yes,” she continued. “A guy my parents thought to fix me up with made some inappropriate comments about Tyson. I got upset, he didn’t like that, so when I was in the house he called him out on it.”

  “He beat him up?”

  “No, my mother threw us out before he got the chance.”

  “Kat, if this Tyson’s violent—”

  “No,” she interrupted. “He’d never hurt Mia—or me.”

  “Can I meet him?”

  If Jeremy were dating a woman who was going to be around their daughter Kat would insist on meeting her right away. She took a deep breath. “He’s already insisted on meeting you. When the time is right, I’m sure it’ll happen, but for now, I have to get going. Thanks for coming back when Nathan showed up.”

  “You never told me who he is exactly.”

  “He’s just a friend of my parents, but I won’t lie, he gives me the creeps.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Taking several deep breaths, Kat sat facing Mia and waited for the right words to come. “I want to talk to you, babe, about something important.”

  “Do you want to talk about rabbits? I saw a bunny today!” Mia offered.

  “Did you?”

  “Yeah, under Mrs. Bradshaw’s shed. I’m gonna catch one and train it. Mrs. Bradshaw doesn’t want them ‘cause they been eatin’ her flowers. Can I watch cartoons now?”

  “Not yet. I need to tell you something. Um, I have a present for you.” She knew what to say—she just didn’t know how to say it.

  “What is it?”

  “Well, I have two presents actually.” She took a deep breath. “What would you do if your daddy didn’t live in Japan?”

  “Would he live here with us?”

  “No.” She had no idea where she was going with this. “But what if you could talk to him? Would you want to?”

  “Does he like rabbits?”

  Kat figured she might as well go with it. “Yes, he likes rabbits. He likes a lot of the same things that you like. He was gone for a while, but he may be back now. Would you want to meet him?”

  “Today?”

  “No, not today, but maybe this weekend.” Mia wasn’t grasping the enormity of what she was telling her, but maybe that was for the best.

  “We can read a story with him. He’ll like that.” Mia nodded with certainty.

  “I’m sure he’d love that. Mia, do you understand what I’m saying to you? You would have a mommy and a daddy.” She wanted her to understand what she was agreeing to. “Like Mommy has Grandma and Grandpa.”

  “Would I still live here with you?”

  “Of course, baby. You’ll always live with me, but maybe when you and your daddy become friends you can play at his house sometimes, like you play at Kiki’s.”

  “Okay.” She rolled on her side and over the edge of the couch, hanging her head upside down, obviously at the end of her attention span.

  “I love you, sweetie,” Kat said to the upside down contortionist who was her world.

  “I love you too. Wanna spin in circles?”

  “Why don’t you spin and I’ll call your daddy to see if he can come play on Saturday.” She blew raspberries on her belly and stood. Mia squealed and spun away.

  Children were so resilient. She just changed Mia’s world and her daughter didn’t even realize it. Watching her out of the corner of her eye as she twirled and sang the Wonder Pets theme song, she dialed Jeremy.

  “Kat?” he said by way of answering

  “Hi, Jeremy.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Everything’s fine. I talked to Mia. She said she wants to see you, so I was thinking maybe Saturday at our place.”

  “Saturday would be perfect,” he said in a voice filled with gratitude.

  “Okay then.” She gave him her address and then, before she hung up, she said, “Oh, and Jeremy, in case she asks you, you like rabbits.”

  “Rabbits?”

  “Yeah. She asked if you liked them and I said yes. That seemed to be some kind of rating system for her.”

  “You tell my daughter that I love rabbits.” He laughed.

  “I will. Okay, I’ll see you Saturday.”

  After she hung up the phone she gave Mia her coloring book from Jeremy and told her that he said he loved rabbits. Mia smiled and said, “That’s ‘cause he’s my daddy.”

  On Thursday night Tyson dropped off Trixie. He was leaving for Washington and they were dog sitting. Mia was thrilled. He kissed Mia and Kat goodbye and promised to bring them each back a souvenir.

  “Are you going to be all right?” he asked again, a bit anxious he wouldn’t be there the day Mia met her father.

  “Tyson, relax. Everything will be fine.”

  “Hey, you can’t judge me for wanting to give this guy a once over if he’s going to be hanging around my girls.”

  “I promise, there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. Jeremy’s a good person who just made a poor choice as a boy. I truly believe he intends to right that wrong, now that he’s a man.”

  On Saturday morning Kat dressed Mia in a new pair of overalls and a pink cardigan. It was getting cooler now that September had arrived. She did her hair in pigtails with little bows. She was very excited to meet her daddy.

  “Make sure my bows are just right, Momma.” Her daughter sighed as though the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. “Gorrum wants to come today, but I told him he can’t.”

  It had been a while since Gorrum had been mentioned. “Oh no? Why’s that?”

  She shrugged. “I told him if he wants to see what my daddy looks like he can hide, but he’s not allowed to meet him.”

  Kat finished her hair and placed her hands on her shoulders. “Mia, does Gorrum have a daddy?”

  She shook her head.

  “Does that make Gorrum sad?”

  “Sometimes,” Mia admitted. “But Gorrum has lots of friends and sometimes grown-up friends are like extra daddies and mommies. Sort of like Kiki and Tyson.”

  She smiled. “You’re very right. I’m glad Gorrum has other friends.”

  “Me too.”

  At eleven o’clock Jeremy arrived. Mia excitedly ran to the door, but when Kat let the strange man inside, her daughter clung to her leg and hid behind her butt. Kat wondered if she thought, because he was her daddy, that she’d recognize him.

  Battling his own nerves, he crouched down to Mia’s level. “Hi, Mia,” he said, voice soft and heavy with emotion.

  Mia hid her face behind Kat’s legs. Maybe it was natural instinct fo
r kids to automatically return to the womb when scared.

  “I sure am glad to meet you.” Jeremy coaxed. “Boy, I’m really nervous. I never had a daughter before and I’m not really sure what a daddy does. What do you do when you’re scared?”

  Holding onto the hem of Kat’s sweater, Mia peeked around her legs. She evaluated him for a long moment. “When I’m scared,” she said with all the authority of a three-year-old, “Momma gives me a magic brave’ry cape.”

  Jeremy nodded. “Oh, I wish I had one of those.”

  Mia tilted her head to one side and dramatically tapped her chin. “I know! You can borrow mine.” Reaching to her shoulders, she removed her invisible cape and held out her short little arms as she stepped toward him. Her hands touched his shoulders. “Just don’t b’ruin it.”

  “I promise, I’ll take extra good care of it.” Standing up, he placed his fists on his hips and puffed out his chest like Superman. “I feel braver all ready.”

  Mia laughed. Kat was impressed at how easily he pulled her out of her shell.

  “Wanna see my room?” Mia eagerly asked.

  He looked at Kat to see if that would be okay. She nodded and he said, “I would love to see your room, Mia.”

  Slipping her small fingers into his large hand, she dragged him off. Kat’s heart pinched at the sight.

  She tried to give Jeremy and Mia their privacy, puttering around the house, putting clothes away and organizing closets. Every now and then she paused to listen and she’d hear Jeremy telling Mia a story or vice versa. When they laughed together Kat’s hand went to her heart as if she could somehow calm the flutters.

  She was in the kitchen reading when Mia came out. “Momma, I’m hungry.”

  Jeremy stood behind her, watching her closely. He seemed to be absorbing her every word and action. Only parents realized how much children were actually unique little human beings with feelings and opinions and tastes of their own.

  “What would you like for lunch?”