Diamonds Are Truly Forever: An Agent Ex Novel

  Not only was she on a mission with him, she was letting it affect her emotions. She did a quick mental calculation. She’d had her last period a week and a half before Drew showed up at the house and someone had fired two at her head. Which meant—she was simply in her horny time of the month.

  Yes, that explained a lot. Men, any man really who wasn’t totally disgusting, looked pretty good this time of month. Yes, that had to be it. Denial was such a convenient thing.

  He took her hand. “Smile sweetly.”

  She gave him one last glare before forcing a smile.

  They walked hand in hand to her mom’s front door, happy, lovesick grins feigned on their faces. For her part, Staci was hoping her mom was out with Sam. It seemed like a reasonable thought. It was Saturday.

  “Ready?” Drew asked, his finger poised over the doorbell.

  “May as well meet the firing squad head-on. Ring away.”

  He pressed the bell. Her mom’s small Pomeranian, Poppy, yipped from inside, ever the watchdog. That bark was about as scary as the tinkle of a bell. Seconds later, Staci’s mom called out, “Coming!”

  Staci heard her padding toward the door with the click of Poppy’s claws alongside her.

  Staci frowned. Her mother was in.

  Staci clutched Drew’s arm.

  Still smiling like a lovesick idiot, he leaned in and whispered in her ear, “You’re about to draw blood.”

  “So much for sweet nothings,” she whispered back to him.

  Staci saw an eye appear at the peephole. Then her mother threw the door open. “Drew!” Her gaze ran to Staci. “Staci! What is this?” Her jaw dropped and her mouth popped open.

  Poppy barked her happy bark at Drew and flipped over on her back, begging for a belly scratch. That traitorous dog had always liked him best. Poppy was useless.

  Drew grinned and leaned down to humor the dog.

  Except for an awkward, surprised pregnant pause, Staci performed an almost perfect DrewStaci act. She kept that dumb, beaming smile on her face. The kind she’d worn the first time she introduced Drew to her mom. That look that said, This is him. The one. Forever.

  Only she’d been wrong about that back then.

  “Surprise!” Staci said.

  Drew stood up.

  Staci leaned her head against Drew’s arm and shoulder. Did she look too corny? Too teenager in love? She didn’t care. She was going for the soap opera overacting award. If Drew wanted drama she was going to give it to him.

  Poppy danced around Drew, begging for more loving. Linda stared at them, waiting for someone to explain.

  “I tried to tell you yesterday at lunch,” Staci said. Which sounded appropriately lame.

  “So that’s what the sudden urge to eat with your mother was all about.” She still seemed hesitant and disbelieving. “What does this mean? Is the divorce off?”

  Staci nodded and kept the hopelessly in love smile on her face, which, sadly, was not that hard to do. Being around Drew was wearing down her defenses and her resolve to do the right thing. “The divorce is off.”

  For now. The next few days at least.

  That’s when Linda screamed a cry of joy and pulled Drew into a big hug. A second later she let Drew go and hugged Staci.

  Linda’s eyes shone with tears. “I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it! A mother’s prayer answered. Oh, I knew you two belonged together. I knew you should patch things up. That you could if you’d just give yourselves a chance.” She did everything but clasp her hands together and fall on her knees in thanks.

  This was really almost too much for Staci to bear. But she had to give herself credit for a fine acting job. Or was it? She feared there was a little too much reality behind her method acting.

  Linda stepped back out of the doorway. “Come in, come in, and tell me all about it! I want details. Details, details, details!”

  Staci looked pointedly around her. “Where’s Sam? He’ll want to know, too.”

  A shadow crossed her mom’s happy expression, just a hint of one, but knowing the circumstances it was enough for Staci to catch. “He’s out of town for the weekend. Camping with a few buddies.” Linda didn’t sound convinced that was where he really was.

  “That’s too bad,” Drew said. “We wanted to surprise you both.”

  Staci followed Linda into the living room, dragging Drew behind her, shooting him an exuberant smile. She was happy—that Sam was gone.

  Her mother scooped Poppy up and sat with her in her lap in a stiff upholstered chair. Staci plunked onto the sofa opposite it. Drew sat down next to Staci, so close he was practically in her lap. He rested his hand on her thigh. She couldn’t even squirm or brush it off. He must have sensed her discomfort because he did more than rest his hand, he cupped her thigh and brushed against her breast with his arm. Even through her jeans his hand felt too hot. She felt too hot.

  Her mom beamed at them. “When did this happen?”

  “Two days ago.”

  “How?” Linda asked.

  “Oh, it’s a long, boring story,” Staci said, not wanting to create any sticky webs of deception that might later catch her.

  Drew looked at her. “It’s a great story! Go ahead. Tell your mom. I’m sure she’d like to hear it.”

  Damn him, he was enjoying this! Staci could have smacked him with her Ninety-nine cling fingers. Too bad they were in the car. Instead she smiled sweetly and rushed through the story, telling in one breath how Drew had left a box of his things at her house and stopped by and one thing led to another and yeah, they realized how much they missed each other. And then it just seemed wrong to separate. So now they were staying in his condo for a while because it was nice, neutral ground.

  “Condo?” Linda looked at them confused. “What condo?” She frowned.

  “You left something out,” Drew said.

  Yeah. She left out the part about how someone had tried to put two bullets in her head and Drew had saved her life. And now he was basically playing bodyguard until he could figure out which dastardly villain of his acquaintance was out to get her. He couldn’t mean that part.

  “About how I quit my job because you hated it so much?” he prompted. “All the long separations led to our marital problems. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but only in small doses. I learned a valuable lesson. You can’t leave the love of your life alone so much that she feels single and deserted. The best gift a man can give a woman is his love, attention, and time.”

  Her mother sighed, totally taken in by his BS.

  Drew squeezed her leg again and massaged her inner thigh with his thumb. Which sent tingles up her entire body and to places she really didn’t want tingling, especially with her mom sitting across from her.

  “I knew I wanted to win Stace back, Linda.” He sounded so sincere. “Unfortunately, I waited until the eleventh hour. It took me that long to find a local job without much travel and move back. I wanted Staci to know how serious I was before I approached her.

  “But I won’t say I’m not grateful for my own forgetfulness at leaving that box behind. It provided the perfect excuse for stopping by and testing the waters.”

  Linda murmured something sympathetic about how hard good jobs were to come by. Anyone could tell, from the way she beamed and her eyes shone, how touched she was by Drew’s tale of enduring love. And how melancholy she was that her own love life was falling apart.

  Staci wanted to clobber Drew for pushing her mom’s hopes too high. That old cliché was a cliché for a reason—the higher they climb, the harder they fall. Staci’s mom was going to need a parachute. Drew had just pushed her out of an airplane.

  “Where are you working, Drew?” her mother asked.

  “Hook House Ale, as their marketing director.” Drew smiled as if he was proud of the position.

  “Congratulations! Sam loves their ale. He’ll be thrilled to have an inside connection.” Linda scooted Poppy out of her lap and popped to her feet. “This calls for a celebration
! I think I have a bottle of champagne in the pantry. And a Pepperidge Farm cake in the freezer.”

  Frozen cake? Not good.

  “Mom, we really don’t need cake.”

  Linda must have seen Staci’s look about the cake. “What? No cake! Don’t be ridiculous. We’ll pop it in the microwave.”

  Her mom was always popping something in the microwave. That’s basically what Linda called cooking and baking.

  Poppy ran across the room and flopped, belly up, again, begging Drew for a little more loving.

  Good luck with that, kid, Staci thought. Hang around him too much and someone will come after you with a knife in the market. Or string you up by your little crystal doggy collar.

  Drew nudged Staci to go help her mom. She was already on her feet as he bent to scratch that hussy Poppy’s tummy.

  “How about cookies?” Staci followed her mother into the kitchen. “You always have a package or two of cookies lying around? We could have those instead.”

  In the kitchen, Linda ignored her. But Staci noticed she headed to the pantry rather than the freezer. Staci shuddered and reflexively glanced toward the window. Just in case. But she didn’t see any snipers lurking in the bushes. That was the point of snipers, though, wasn’t it? You didn’t see them. She had to calm down.

  When Linda came out of the pantry, tears stood in her eyes and she was sniffing. Staci took a box of fancy commercial cookies from her and gave her a one-armed hug. “How are you holding up, Mom?”

  Linda shook her head, as in Not doing well at all, grabbed the cookies from her, and put them on the counter. “Mint!” She clapped her hands together. “I have some fresh mint in the garden that would really dress that plate up. Come, let me show it to you. You can help me pick.” She pulled Staci across the kitchen and out the back door to the deck.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  “Mint? Really, Mom? Why did you drag me outside? The truth.” Staci ran her hands over her arms. It was cool in the shade.

  Linda walked past a bed of elegant black and purple irises that grew around the base of a red maple. She paused midway to stoop to pull a horsetail weed from between two plants. She sighed as she tossed the horsetail across the yard into the fence. “Beautiful flowers, but their scent gives me a headache. The only reason I keep them is for Sam.” A look of worry, or maybe anger, crossed her face. “He loves them.”

  She hustled past them to a raised bed that ran along the fence. “Mint is always nice.” She paused and looked at Staci. “We’re out here because I didn’t want Drew to overhear my problems with Sam.”

  Most people would think Linda was being paranoid. Which she was. But for all Staci knew Drew was wearing a pair of hear-everywhere-ears and had heard every word. Either that or he was already fast installing bugs where no exterminator would dare to look. Even so, Staci couldn’t help herself. She put on that telltale guilty look of hers.

  “He knows?” her mother said.

  Staci couldn’t tell exactly how that made her mom feel, other than shocked. “The two of us are one again. We made a pledge not to keep secrets. Now that he’s part of the family once more, I had to tell him.”

  Linda sighed and plucked several stems of mint. A fresh spearmint scent drifted to Staci.

  “Well, then, there’s no point in freezing out here.” Linda turned toward the house.

  “Wait!” Staci smiled at her. “Drew thinks you shouldn’t talk about your suspicions about Sam in the house.”

  Linda frowned. “Why in the world not?”

  Staci shrugged and repeated what Drew had told her earlier about cheaters spying on their spouses.

  Linda’s frown deepened. She fiddled mindlessly with the mint in her hand. “But how would Drew know?”

  “He read an article on Google.”

  Her mom seemed satisfied with that answer. “Well, he may be right. There’s no need to tip my hand.”

  “And there’s another thing. We actually came over for another reason, too. Drew wants to help with the spying.”

  “What?” Linda shook her head and started to laugh so hard the mint shook in her hand.

  It was nice to see her mom happy, but Staci was totally confused. “What are you laughing at?”

  “Drew, spying!” She shook her head. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard. He’s the most earnest, honest young man I’ve ever known. His every thought is written on his face. That boy is the farthest thing from James Bond on earth.”

  Staci didn’t know why she was so put out and defensive on Drew’s behalf. Probably the reason he was such a good spy was that no one in his real life would ever suspect him of it. He came across as your basic naïve-to-evil, happy-go-lucky good guy. But that was all a front. “Oh, I don’t know. I think he could handle danger and intrigue. Besides, he works at Hook House now. He’s bound to pick up gossip about Sam, if there is any.”

  Linda paused in thought. “I suppose you have a point about his job. That could be useful.” Linda shook her head. “But danger? That’s different. Does he even know how to hold a gun?”

  “He blows up a lot of villains on Call of Duty.” Which was completely true. Drew was a pro at that game, but then he knew a thing or two about real-life black ops.

  “Video games don’t count.”

  “How many people can you shoot in any video game?” Staci stared her mom down. “You’re probably a camper.”

  “I’ve never played Call of Duty and I don’t intend to. Camper, what’s that?”

  Staci sighed. “Never mind. Drew knows a lot more about spying than you’d think. Right away he thought of using electronic surveillance to help you out.

  “We just came from Spy Gear Seattle. We bought a few gadgets that should help us find out what Sam’s up to.” At her mother’s pained look, she added, “If anything.”

  “Well,” her mom conceded, “The video-game generation would think of using electronics. That, at least, sounds like Drew.”

  “Electronics make life easy,” Staci said.

  Linda nodded. “What did he get?”

  Staci rattled off an abbreviated list. She didn’t feel up to telling her mom about the Check Your Spouse kit just yet.

  “Drew knows how to use all those gizmos?” Linda asked.

  Staci nodded. “He’s a whiz with electronics.”

  She didn’t have to convince her mom. Linda agreed. She always called him when she needed help with her computer. Part of her sadness over Staci’s divorce was losing her personal Geek Squad.

  “Okay, but no cameras or bugs in our bedroom,” Linda said.

  Ugh! Staci agreed. Those were mental images she’d never scrub out of her brain. “Done.”

  “Where are all these nifty devices?” Linda asked.

  “Under Drew’s sweatshirt.”

  “What!”

  “We thought we might have to sneak them in past Sam.”

  “If you’d called first, you’d know he wasn’t here.”

  “Then we wouldn’t have had the element of surprise. We didn’t want Sam hiding anything. We were hoping to catch him in a mistake.”

  Linda shook her head. “You’ll never catch him by surprise, believe me. You don’t think I’ve combed through everything while he’s gone? All I’ve been able to find out is that he’s not where he says he is. And discovering that was only by accident. I had to call his office one day when he didn’t answer his cell and they told me he wasn’t on a business trip as he said he was.”

  She thwacked the mint she held against one hand. “What do we do now?”

  Staci paused. What did they do now? She pursed her lips, thinking. “We have to provide an excuse for Drew to go into Sam’s study and plant the bugs and cameras and check the desktop computer. In case Sam’s listening in on us or something.”

  Linda beamed. “Excellent suggestion! I knew there was a reason I asked you to be my spy. Besides, that’s easy. My email is down and won’t let me log in. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I’ll send Dr
ew in to fix it and he can poke around. Perfect timing.”

  “Great! We can chat while he works.”

  Drew was going to love playing tech support again. Fortunately, he was pretty good at it. “Maybe he can find out something about your financials for you, too, Mom. So you won’t be so vulnerable. You deserve to know where your money is.”

  Linda gave Staci her convicting-mom stare. “Don’t go overboard, Staci. Financials are personal and private.”

  And sex lives aren’t? Staci resisted shaking her head. She read her mom’s fear. Linda was afraid they’d find something. Once she had irrefutable proof of wandering, what was she going to do with it? Staci didn’t ask. Right now, she didn’t want to know.

  “All right, no financials.” But she lied and it came surprisingly easily to her. Drew would check the financials whether she instructed him to or not. “How do you feel about porn?”

  “What!” Linda almost dropped the bruised mint she held.

  “Marriage deal-breaker or not? Drew bought a Porn Stick so we could check Sam’s computer for it.”

  “Porn Stick?” Linda made a face as Staci explained what it was. Finally, she looked resigned, avoiding the original deal-breaker question as much as possible. “Check for it.”

  Staci nodded. She couldn’t be sure, but she thought her mom was crossing her fingers behind her back. “Sorry, Mom. You want to know what Sam’s really up to, don’t you? Where he really is this weekend, right?”

  Her mother nodded. “Let’s get this over with. We’d better head back in. Do we give Drew a code word so he knows I’m aboard?” For the barest second, a look of amusement crossed her mom’s face.

  To think, Mom just might like playing spy. If she didn’t suspect Sam of infidelity.

  They found Drew sitting where they’d left him in the living room, innocently playing with his iPhone and scratching Poppy. Drew looked as if he was playing a game, but Staci suspected otherwise. That iPhone probably had a million top-secret CIA apps on it. For all she knew, he’d already debugged the house and set it up with a satellite tracking scan.