Constance Sherwood: An Autobiography of the Sixteenth Century

passionatedesire to receive tidings. When my waiting-woman entered, with aletter in her hand, I foolishly did fancy it came from him, whichcould scarcely be, so soon after our coming to town; but I quicklydiscerned, by the rose-colored string which it was bounden with, andthen the handwriting, that it was not from him, but from her whom,next to him, I most desired to hear from, to wit, the Countess ofSurrey. That sweet lady wrote that she had an exceeding great desireto see me, and would be more beholden to my aunt than she could wellexpress, if she would confer on her so great a benefit as to permit meto spend the day with her at the Charter House, and she would send hercoach for to convey me there, which should never have done her so muchgood pleasure before as in that service. And more to that effect, withmany kind and gracious words touching our previous meeting andcorrespondence.

  When I was dressed, I took her ladyship's letter to Mrs. Ward, who waspleased to say she would herself ask permission for me to wait uponthat noble lady; but that her ladyship might not be at the charge ofsending for me, she would herself, if my aunt gave her license, carryme to the Charter House, for that she was to spend some hours that daywith friends in the city, and "it would greatly content her," sheadded, "to further the expressed wish of the young countess, whosegrandmother, Lady Mounteagle, and so many of her kinsfolk, wereCatholics, or at the least, good friends to such as were so." My auntdid give leave for me to go, as she mostly did to whatsoever Mrs. Wardproposed, whom she trusted entirely, with a singular great affection,only bidding her to pray that she might not die in her absence, forthat she feared some peaches she had eaten the day before haddisordered her, and that she had heard of one who had died of theplague some weeks before in the Tower. Mrs. Ward exhorted her to be ofgood cheer, and to comfort herself both ways, for that the air ofHolborn was so good, the plague was not likely to come into it, andthat the kernels of peaches being medicinal, would rather prove anantidote to pestilence than an occasion to it; and left her bettersatisfied, insomuch that she sent for another dish of peaches for tosecure the benefit. Before I left, Kate bade me note the fashion ofthe suit my Lady Surrey did wear, and if she had on her own hair, andif she dyed it, and if she covered her bosom, or wore plaits, and ifher stomacher was straight and broad, or formed a long waist,extending downward, and many more points touching her attire, which Icannot now call to mind. As I went through the hall to the steps whereMistress Ward was already standing, Muriel came hurrying toward me,with a faint color coming and going in her sallow cheek, and twice shetried to speak and failed. But when I kissed her she put her lipsclose to my ear and whispered,

  "Sweet little cousin, there be in London prisoners in a very badplight, in filthy dungeons, because of their religion. The noble youngLady Surrey hath a tender heart toward such if she do but hear ofthem. Prithee, sweet coz, move her to send them relief in food, money,or clothing."

  Then Mistress Ward called to me to hasten, and I ran away, but Murielstood at the window, and as we passed she kissed her hand, in whichwas a gold angel, which my father had gifted me with at parting.

  "Mrs. Ward," I said, as we went along, "my cousin Muriel is not fair,and yet her face doth commend itself to my fancy more than many fairones I have seen; it is so kindly."

  "I have even from her infancy loved her," she answered, "and thus muchI will say of her, that many have been titled saints who had not,methinks, more virtue than I have noticed in Muriel."

  "Doth she herself visit the prisoners she spoke of?"

  "She and I do visit them and carry them relief when we can by anymeans prevail with the gaolers from compassion or through bribing ofthem to admit us. But it is not always convenient to let this beknown, not even at home, but I ween, Constance, as thou wilt have meto call thee so, that Muriel saw in thee--for she has a wonderfulpenetrative spirit--that thou dost know when to speak and when to keepsilence."

  "And may I go with you to the prisons?" I asked with a hot feeling inmy heart, which I had not felt since I had left home.

  "Thou art far too young," she answered. "But I will tell thee whatthou canst do. Thou mayst work and beg for these good men, and not beashamed of so doing. None may visit them who have not made up theirminds to die, if they should be denounced for their charity."

  "But Muriel is young," I answered. "Hath she so resolved?"

  "Muriel is young," was the reply; "but she is one in whom wisdom andholiness have forestalled age. For two years that she hath been mycompanion on such occasions, she has each day prepared for martyrdomby such devout exercises as strengthen the soul at the approach ofdeath."

  "And Kate and Polly," I asked, "are they privy to the dangers that youdo run, and have they no like ambition?"

  "Rather the contrary," she answered; "but neither they nor any oneelse in the house is fully acquainted with these secret errands saveMr. Congleton, and he did for a long time refuse his daughter licenseto go with me, until at last, by prayers and tears, she won him overto suffer it. But he will never permit thee to do the like, for thatthy father hath intrusted thee to his care for greater safety in thesetroublesome times."

  "Pish!" I cried pettishly, "safety has a dull mean sound in it which Imislike. I would I were mine own mistress."

  "Wish no such thing, Constance Sherwood," was her grave answer."Wilfulness was never nurse to virtue, but rather her foe; nor everdid a rebellious spirit prove the herald of true greatness. And now,mark my words. Almighty God hath given thee a friend far above thee inrank, and I doubt not in merit also, but whose faith, if report saithtrue, doth run great dangers, and with few to advise her in these evildays in which we live. Peradventure he hath appointed thee a work in apalace as weighty as that of others in a dungeon. Set thyself toit with thy whole heart, and such prayers as draw down blessings fromabove. There be great need in these times to bear in remembrance whatthe Lord says, that he will be ashamed in heaven before his angels ofsuch as be ashamed of him on earth. And many there are, I greatlyfear, who though they be Catholics, do assist the heretics by theircowardice to suppress the true religion in this land; and I pray toGod this may never be our case. Yet I would not have thee to be rashin speech, using harsh words, or needlessly rebuking others, whichwould not become thy age, or be fitting and modest in one of inferiorrank, but only where faith and conscience be in question not to beafraid to speak. And now God bless thee, who should be an Esther inthis house, wherein so many true confessors of Christ some years agosurrendered their lives in great misery and torments, rather thanyield up their faith."

  This she said as we stopped at the gate of the Charter House, whereone of the serving-men of the Countess of Surrey was waiting toconduct me to her lodgings, having had orders to that effect. She leftme in his charge, and I followed him across the square, and throughthe cloisters and passages which led to the gallery, where my lady'schamber was situated. My heart fluttered like a frightened caged birdduring that walk, for there was a solemnity about the place such as Ihad not been used to, and which filled me with apprehension lest Ishould be wanting in due respect where so much state was carried on.But when the door was opened at one end of the gallery, and my sweetlady ran out to meet me with a cry of joy, the silly heart, like acaught bird, nestled in her embrace, and my lips joined themselves tohers in a fond manner, as if not willing to part again, but by ferventkisses supplying the place of words, which were lacking, to expressthe great mutual joy of that meeting, until at last my lady raised herhead, and still holding my hands, cried out as she gazed on my face:

  "You are more welcome, sweet one, than my poor words can say. I prayyou, doff your hat and mantle, and come and sit by me, for 'tis aweary while since we have met, and those are gone from us who loved usthen, and for their sakes we must needs love one another dearly, ifour hearts did not of themselves move us unto it, which indeed theydo, if I may judge of yours, Mistress Constance, by mine own."

  Then we kissed again, and she passed her arm around my neck with somany graceful endearments, in which were blended girlish simplicityand a youthful yet matronly dignity,
that I felt that day the lovewhich, methinks, up to that time had had its seat mostly in the fancy,take such root in mine heart, that it never lost its hold on it.

  At the first our tongues were somewhat tied by joy and lack ofknowledge how to begin to converse on the many subjects whereon bothdesired to hear the other speak, and the disuse of such intercourse asmaketh it easy to discourse on what the heart is full of. Howsoever,Lady Surrey questioned me touching my father, and what had befallen ussince my mother's death. I told her that he had left his home, andsent me to London by reason of the present troubles; but withoutmention of what I did apprehend to be his further intent. And she thensaid that the concern she was in anent her good father the Duke ofNorfolk did cause her to pity those who were also in