Constance Sherwood: An Autobiography of the Sixteenth Century

other in this way. 'Tis somewhat tedious, I doadmit; but thanks be to God we lack not leisure here for such duties."

  Then I briefly told him of Mistress Ward's intent to procure Mr.Watson's escape.

  "Ay," he said, "I am privy to it, and I do pray God it may succeed. Itshould be to me the greatest joy in the world to hear that good manwas set free, or made free by any good means."

  "Then," I added, "will you not join in the attempt, if so be she canconvey to you a cord? and the same boat should carry you both off."

  "Nay," he replied; "for more reasons than one I am resolved againstthat in mine own case which in Mr. Watson's I do commend. Thisenterprise must needs bring that good woman, Mrs. Ward, into some sortof danger, which she doth well to run for his sake, and which he dothnot wrong to consent unto, she being of a willing mind to encounterit. For if the extremity of torture should extort the admissions theydo seek from him, many should then grievously suffer, and mostly hisown soul. But I have that trust in God, who hath given me in all mylate perils what nature had verily not furnished me with, an undauntedspirit to meet sufferings with somewhat more than fortitude, with avery great joy such as his grace can only bestow, that he willcontinue to do so, whatever straits I do find myself in; and being sominded, I am resolved not again by mine own doing to put mine own andothers' lives in jeopardy; but to take what he shall send in theordinary course of things, throwing all my care on him, without whoseknowledge and will not so much as one hair of our heads doth fall tothe ground. But I am glad to be privy to the matter in hand for Mr.Watson, so as to pray for him this day and night, and also for thatnoble soul who doth show herself so true a Christian in her care forhis weal and salvation."

  Then, changing to other themes, he inquired of me at some lengthtouching the passages of my life since he had parted with me, and mydispositions touching the state of life I was about to embrace,concerning which he gave me the most profitable instructions which canbe thought of, and rules of virtue, which, albeit imperfectlyobserved, have proved of so great and wholesome guidance to myinexperienced years that I do stand more indebted to him for this fineadvice, there given me, than for all other benefits besides. He thenspoke of Edmund Genings, who, by a special dispensation of the Pope,had lately been ordained priest, being but twenty-three years of age,and said the preparation he had made for receiving this holy order wasvery great, and the impression the greatness of the charge made uponhis mind so strong, that it produced a wonderful effect in his verybody, affecting for a time his health. He was infirmarian at Rheims,and labored among the sick students, a very model of piety andhumility; but _vivamus in spe_ was still, as heretofore, his motto,and that hope in which he lived was to be sent upon the Englishmission. These, my father said, were the last tidings he had heard ofhim. His mother he did believe was dead, and his younger brother hadleft La Rochelle and was in Paris, leading a more gay life than wasdesirable. "And now I pray you, mine own dear honored father," I said,"favor me, I beseech you, with a recital of your own haps since youlanded in England, and I ceased to receive letters from you." Hecondescended to my request, in the words which do follow:

  "Well, my good child, I arrived in this country one year and fivemonths back, having by earnest suit and no small difficulty obtainedfrom my superiors to be sent on the English mission; for by reason ofthe weakness of my health, and some use I was of in the college, owingto my acquaintanceship with the French and the English languages, Dr.Allen was loth to permit my departure. I crossed the seas in a smallmerchant-vessel, and landed at Lynn. The port-officers searched me tothe skin, and found nothing on me; but one Sledd, an informer, whichhad met me in an inn at Honfleur, where I had lodged for some daysbefore sailing for England, had taken my marks very precisely; andarriving in London some time before I landed in Norfolk, having beenstayed by contrary winds in my longer passage, he there presented myname and marks; upon which the queen's council sent to the searchersof the ports. These found the said marks very apparent in me; but forthe avoiding of charges, the mayor of the place, one Mr. Alcock, andRawlins the searcher, requested a gentleman which had landed at thesame time with me, and who called himself Haward, to carry me as aprisoner to the lord-lieutenant of the county. He agreed very easilythereunto; but as soon as we were out of the town, 'I cannot,' saysthis gentleman, 'in conscience, nor will not, being myself a Catholic,deliver you, a Catholic priest, prisoner to the lord-lieutenant. Butwe will go straight to Norwich, and when we come there, shift foryourself, as I will do for myself.'

  "Coming to Norwich, I went immediately to one of the gaols, andconferred with a Catholic, a friend of mine, which by chance I foundout to be there imprisoned for recusancy. I recounted to him the orderof my apprehension and escape; and he told me that in conscience Icould not make that escape, and persuaded me I ought to yield myselfprisoner; whereupon I went to my friend Haward, whom, through theaforesaid Catholic prisoner, I found to be no other than Dr. Ely, aprofessor of canon and civil law at Douay. I requested him to deliverto me the mayor's letter to the lord-lieutenant. 'Why, what will youdo with it?' said he. 'I will go,' I said, 'and carry it to him, andyield myself a prisoner; for I am not satisfied I can make this escapein conscience, having had a contrary opinion thereon.' And I told himwhat that prisoner I had just seen had urged. 'Why,' said Haward,'this counsel which hath been given you proceedeth, I confess, from azealous mind; but I doubt whether it carrieth with it the weight ofknowledge. You shall not have the letter, nor you may not inconscience yield yourself to the persecutors, having so good meansoffered to escape their cruelty.' But as I still persisted in mydemand, 'Well,' said Mr. Haward, 'seeing you will not be turned by mefrom this opinion, let us go first and consult with such a man,' andhe named one newly come over, who was concealed at the house of aCatholic not very far off. This was a man of singular wit aidlearning, and of such rare virtues that I honored and reverenced himgreatly, which Mr. Haward perceiving, he said, with a smile, 'If he beof your opinion, you shall have the letter, and go in God's name!'When we came to him, he utterly disliked of my intention, anddissuaded me from what he said was a fond cogitation. So beingassuaged, I went quietly about my business, and travelled for thespace of more than a year from one Catholic house to another inNorfolk and Suffolk, ministering the sacraments to recusants, andreconciling many to the Church, which, from fear or lack ofinstruction or spiritual counsel, or only indifferency, had conformedto the times. Methinks, daughter Constance, for one such year a manshould be willing to lay down a thousand lives, albeit, or ratherbecause, as St. Paul saith, he be 'in journeyings often, in perilsfrom his own nation, in perils from false brethren' (oh, how true andapplicable do these words prove to the Catholics of this land!), 'inperils in the city, in perils of the wilderness, in perils of thesea.' And if it pleases God now to send me labors of another sort, sothat I may be in prisons frequently, in stripes above measure, and,finally, in death itself, his true servant,--oh, believe me, my goodchild, the right fair house I once had, with its library and gardenand orchard, and everything so handsome about us, and the company ofthy sweet mother, and thy winsome childish looks of love, never gaveme so much heartfelt joy and comfort as the new similitude Iexperience, and greater I hope to come, to my loved and only Master'ssufferings and death!"

  At this time of his recital my tears flowed abundantly; but with animparted sweetness, which, like a reflected light, shone from his soulon mine. But to stay my weeping he changed his tone, and said withgood cheer:

  "Come now, my wench, I will presently make thee merry by the recitalof a strait in which I once found myself, and which maketh me to laughto think on it, albeit at the time, I warrant thee, it was like toprove no laughable matter. It happened that year I speak of that I wasonce secretly sent for by a courtlike gentleman of good wealth thathad lived in much bravery, and was then sick and lying in great pain.He had fallen into a vehement agitation and deep study of the life tocome; and thereupon called for a priest--for in mind and opinion hewas Catholic--that he might learn from him to die well.
According tothe custom of the Church, I did admonish him, among other things, thatif he had any way hurt or injured any man, or unjustly possessed othermen's goods, he should go about by-and-by to make restitutionaccording to his ability. He agreed to do so, and called to mind thathe had taken away something from a certain Calvinist, under pretenceof law indeed, but not under any good assurance for a Catholicconscience to trust to. Therefore, he took order for restitution to bemade, and died. The widow, his wife, was very anxious to accomplishher husband's will; but being afraid to commit the matter to any one,her perplexed mind was entangled in briers of doubtfulness. She oneday declared her grief unto me, and beseeched me, for God's sake, tohelp her with my