Let Me Love You

  “I want to watch another movie with you, but only if you want me here.”

  Lindsay inhaled deeply and blew it out. “I do want you here. Please stay.”

  “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” Kyle started to lean down, but stopped inches from her lips. “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”

  Her eyes moved to his mouth and then back up to his eyes. Kyle waited for her response and felt like time stood still.

  “Yes” The word came out as barely a whisper, but that’s all Kyle needed. He pressed a tender kiss to her lips and the connection sent a jolt of desire racing through his body. Not wanting to go to fast but unable to stop, Kyle slide his fingers into Lindsay’s hair and held her head in place as he tasted and savored every inch of her mouth.

  A moan echoed through the room and Kyle didn’t know which one of them it came from. Lindsay’s arms were snaked around his waist and pulled him against her even closer; it still wasn’t enough. He walked back, taking Lindsay with him, until his legs hit the edge of the couch.

  Running his hands down her body, Kyle placed both hands on Lindsay’s hips as he started to lie back on the couch. When he tugged her down on top of his chest, she came willingly.

  Their lips met once again, but this time all tenderness was gone. Neither one of them could get enough from the other, until Kyle broke the kiss to take a breath. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

  Lindsay was panting just as hard as he was. “Then why did you stop?”

  With that one question, Kyle went from semi-hard to fully erect. Lindsay was lying on top of him and he was sure she could feel how much he wanted her. “Because I’m a stupid, stupid man”

  Placing his hand on the back of her head, Kyle brought their lips together once again. He ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth and she opened instantly. He gave first one stroke, then another, over Lindsay’s tongue and she was right there with him; giving as much as she was taking.

  He thought nothing could make this moment any better; that was until Lindsay ran her hands down his sides and over the bulge in his pants. He broke the kiss once again and started raining kisses along Lindsay’s jaw line, and then to her neck.

  Since he was underneath her, it made getting to where he wanted more difficult, so Kyle quickly flipped their positions. When she was lain out beneath him, all he could do was stare. “You are stunning, Red. I could look at you all night.”

  Lindsay reached for the bottom of his shirt and started tugging on it. “Too many clothes, I want to see you.” She didn’t have to tell him twice. Kyle shifted to his knees, straddling Lindsay, and ripped his shirt off over his head.

  “Much better” Lindsay started trailing her fingertips from his collarbone, down his chest and over his abs; it was all too much. He had wanted to feel her against his skin for so long that he was positive he would shoot in his jeans if she went further south again.

  Not wanting to embarrass himself, Kyle wrapped his hands around her wrists and raised them towards her head. Holding her hands in place, Kyle started his trail of kisses all over again. He made it as far as her right cheek before he realized she was no longer responding like she had been.

  Bringing his head up, Kyle could see the distress and terror in her eyes. Letting go of her hands, Kyle scrambled off the couch and knelt next to her. “Breathe it’s okay. Shit, I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.”

  “No…it’s my fault…it’s just…” Lindsay was still trying to get her breathing back and talk at the same time, and it wasn’t working.

  “You don’t have to explain, I understand.” Lindsay closed her eyes and didn’t try to talk again until she was back in control. When she was, she pushed herself into a sitting position and patted the seat next to her. Kyle moved from the floor and sat in the spot she indicated.

  “Do you want me to get you a glass of water?” Shaking her head no, Lindsay leaned forward and grabbed her glass of wine. After downing what was left of it, she placed it back on the table.

  “I needed that.” He knew touching her was risky, but he couldn’t stand to see the anguish in her eyes so he placed his hand on her knee. Kyle began moving his thumb in small circles, hoping to put her at ease. She covered his hand with hers, and turned to face him.

  “I know you said I don’t have to explain, but I want to try.” He didn’t know if he could handle hearing what she might say, so Kyle turned his hand over and held hers and reassured her.

  “Really, you don’t have to. All I care about is that you are okay.”

  “But I want to. If I don’t talk about it I will never get past it, and I really want to try and get my life back.” He didn’t say anything as Lindsay pushed her shoulders back and took a deep breath.

  “You know I had, I mean have an abusive ex that almost killed me. I’ll skip most of the gory details for now, but one of the things he did when he was hurting me was hold me down by my wrists.”

  Kyle froze. He had reminded her of the monster she used to be involved with. He opened his mouth to apologize, but she stopped him.

  “You had no way of knowing, but I couldn’t stop the fear that started to take over and I panicked. I never know what will trigger a flashback or cause a panic attack, but talking about it more has helped me recover from them faster.”

  The small distance between them felt like a mile and Kyle wanted to hold her, so he held his arms open and Lindsay crawled onto his lap. He draped his arms loosely around her waist as she got comfortable.

  “Thank you for telling me. I won’t do that again.” Lindsay laid her cheek on his chest and sighed.

  “I can’t promise things like this won’t keep happening. This is the first time I’ve tried to date since it all happened. You deserve someone you can touch without hesitation, and won’t panic when you want to make out on the couch.” Kyle kissed the top of her head and smiled.

  “I deserve you.” Lindsay didn’t respond, but snuggled in closer to his chest. “Why don’t I put the movie in, and we can cuddle together while we watch it.”

  “As long as you don’t steal all the covers” Kyle shifted her off his lap and went to switch the DVD’s. He picked up the blanket from the floor and spread it over Lindsay, who had already stretched out on the couch. Kyle crawled in behind her and pulled the blanket over his legs, before stuffing a pillow under his head.

  “If I do I’ll keep you warm, don’t worry.” He pressed another kiss to the side of her head and pushed play. The movie started and Kyle moved his hand to rest on Lindsay’s hip. She reached down and intertwined their fingers and they stayed like that for the rest of the night.

  “Aside from the minor panic attack and little tantrum I threw, I’ve had a really great time tonight.”

  “Me too, I hope we can do it again soon.” Lindsay only nodded. They didn’t talk anymore, and at some point during the movie Kyle’s eyes started to feel very heavy. The last thing he remembered was watching the two main characters dancing in the street to no music.

  He fell asleep picturing him and Lindsay dancing around his living room, with nothing but the sound of their hearts beating to lead them.

  ****

  Chapter 11

  A small opening in Lindsay’s curtains was allowing the early morning sunlight to stream in, and it was hitting her right in the face. “Ugh, stupid sun”

  She started to get up to close it, but her legs were pinned by a much longer and heavier one. Panic threatened to overtake her, but last night quickly made its way through her mind. She and Kyle had lain down to watch the movie and must have fallen asleep.

  The sound of him softly snoring behind her brought a smile to her face. Trying to move as slow as possible, so as not to wake him, Lindsay turned so she was now face to face with this amazing and understanding man.

  Even when Kyle was sleeping, he was ridiculously handsome. He hadn’t put his shirt back on last night, and Lindsay had to suppress the urge to memorize every muscle of his chest and
stomach with her hands. His black hair was sticking out in spots and a small line of drool ran down his cheek; seeing that made her giggle.

  She must have laughed louder than she thought because Kyle blinked open his sleepy eyes, and that lopsided grin was playing on his lips. “What has you so happy this early in the morning, Red?”

  “You’re snoring and drooling, it’s very cute.” He brought his hand up to his right cheek and wiped away the evidence.

  “That is not cute, it’s embarrassing.” Lindsay ran her fingers along his other cheek and he turned into the touch.

  “I promise not to tell anyone you’re not perfect when you sleep.” She sarcastically crossed her heart with the hand that had been caressing his cheek.

  “I see you have jokes today. Let’s see how funny you think this is.” Kyle dug his fingers into Lindsay’s side and tickled her mercilessly. She tried and tried to get away, but his leg was still thrown over hers and she had no way to escape.

  She tried to say something, but Kyle doubled his efforts and she laughed harder. Lindsay gasped out an “I give” finally and he stopped, but not before giving her a smug little grin.

  Small giggles still made their way out as she grabbed onto his hand. “You’re an evil, evil man.”

  Kyle chuckled. “That will teach you to make fun of my snoring or drooling ever again.” He wrapped his arm around Lindsay and pulled her slightly toward him. She thought he was trying to bring her in for a kiss and lifted her lips to meet his.

  Kyle wiggled his other arm out from under them just as her lips pressed into his. When she realized he was only trying to free his arm, Lindsay was so embarrassed she tried to pull away but he wasn’t having any part of that.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “I thought you were trying to…and you were just trying to…” Lindsay didn’t want to voice her stupidity, so she just said. “Oh never mind.”

  Kyle enveloped her with both arms this time and rolled so she was now lying on top of him. “That’s better.”

  He snuggled his body further into the cushions. “Now back to this little misunderstanding. I was trying to get my arm out from under me. I slept on it all night and it was numb.”

  Lindsay fixed her stare on his chest and refused to make eye contact, but he had other ideas. “Don’t for one second think I didn’t want that kiss. I always want to kiss you. But seeing as I was distracted during that last one, I say we try it again.”

  The honesty and sweetness in his words made her lean forward and kiss him gently. It was a brief kiss, but the feelings it sparked inside her were very powerful. She smiled down at a now serene looking Kyle. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning. I think I may need another taste of those sexy lips to fully wake up.” He wiggled his eyebrows and it was then that Lindsay felt how ‘awake’ parts of Kyle already were.

  Feeling like this was the perfect chance to pay him back for tickling her, Lindsay pretended to think about his statement. “I don’t think that’s necessary.”

  “And why’s that.” She pushed herself up until she was straddling his lap. Feeling more confident than she had in years, Lindsay gave her hips a slight back and forth roll over the bulge beneath her.

  “You feel fully awake to me.” She gave him what she hoped was a seductive smile. He lifted his hips a fraction, and then lowered them just as quickly.

  “Are you trying to torture me?” His words came out low and husky.

  “Consider this payback for the tickling.” She moved against him one more time, and this time a moan escaped him.

  “You’re playing with fire, Red.” Lowering herself back to his chest, Lindsay planned to show him how much she liked the way they were playing. But before she could stop it, some of her fears came out as she whispered.

  “Just don’t burn me.” She hated that her vulnerability had picked this moment to emerge, but that’s what it all boiled down to; not wanting to put herself out there and be hurt again.

  Kyle brushed his lips across hers and whispered back. “Never”

  That one word shifted something inside Lindsay that she thought was gone forever. She tried to keep the tears from falling, but one slid down her cheek and dripped onto Kyle’s bare chest.

  “Don’t cry. You never have to worry about me hurting you. I just need you to trust me not to.” Lindsay was still looking into Kyle’s eyes as he made his plea. She wanted to trust him more than anything, but didn’t know if she was capable.

  “I’ll try” As if that was the only thing holding him back from ravishing her, Kyle clamped onto her mouth with his and effectively ended their conversation.

  His hands slipped under the back of her shirt and were making a trek up her back, when someone knocked on Lindsay’s door. “Who the hell is here this early?”

  Kyle looked just as annoyed as Lindsay felt, but when she glanced at the clock she knew exactly who it was.

  “It’s not as early as you may think.” With a this-sucks-a-lot look, Lindsay removed herself from Kyle’s hold and stood up. “That is probably Stella coming over for our morning coffee and gossip. If I don’t get my ass moving, I’ll be late for work.”

  Kyle groaned, but rolled off the sofa too. “Sorry if I made you late.”

  Lindsay pushed up on her toes and kissed him one more time. “I’m not.”

  With a wicked little wink, Lindsay rubbed her hip along the still prominent bulge in his pants as she walked by him toward the door. He caught up with her a second later and pulled her back against him.

  “What was that you were saying about me being evil? I will get you back for that later.”

  “Promise” Lindsay didn’t know what had gotten into her, but Kyle made her feel light and happy and free to be herself for the first time in a so long. More knocking interrupted them yet again.

  “You should answer the door before I make you really late for work, and give Stella more things to grill you about.” With that he disappeared into the bathroom, and Lindsay thought about ignoring Stella completely. She would like nothing more than to follow Kyle and finish what they started on the couch.

  A frustrated groan escaped her, as she went to the open the door. Lindsay barely got the door open before Stella pushed her way in and started with the questions.

  “What took you so long? Why aren’t you dressed and why don’t I smell coffee?”

  “Hello to you too” Stella went straight to the kitchen; probably to start the missing coffee. Lindsay followed and was just about to start answering one of Stella’s many questions when Kyle exited the bathroom.

  “‘Morning Stella” She turned towards him but didn’t seem to be able to say anything back. He walked to where his shirt was lying on the floor and put it on. Lindsay thought it was a crime to cover such perfection with clothes as he made his way over to where she was standing.

  “I’ll get out of here so you can get ready for work. My shift starts at three, but I’ll call you later if that’s okay.” Stella was still standing with her mouth hanging open, but all Lindsay could focus on was Kyle.

  “Call as late as you want.” He bent down to give her a kiss and before she knew what was happening, Lindsay was tilted halfway to the floor. When he had thoroughly explored every part of her mouth, Kyle stood her back upright.

  With another quick peck to the cheek, he said, “Have a good day at work” and walked out the door. All she could do was stare at the now closed door and sigh. That was one hell of a goodbye kiss.

  “I may need to go home and get a quickie from Alex after witnessing that display. I think the temperature has risen a few degrees in here.” Lindsay completely forgot about Stella being there when Kyle was kissing her. Now she didn’t want to turn around and face the Stella Howe inquisition.

  Knowing there was no way around it; Lindsay turned around and watched as Stella was dramatically fanning herself. She tried to make a break for her bedroom, but Stella was right on her heels.

  “Oh no, you don?
??t. You aren’t getting away from me that easily. I want details and I want them right now.”

  “I need to change for work. You don’t want to be late, do you?” She hoped reminding Stella of how late they already were would buy her sometime; no such luck.

  “I’m the boss. We don’t have any appointments until ten, so we have plenty of time.” Stella flopped onto Lindsay’s bed like a little kid.

  Rolling her eyes, Lindsay went to her walk in closet and found a blue silk top and black dress pants to wear. When she exited the closet, Stella was sitting with her back against the headboard and arms crossed over her chest.

  “I’m waiting” A smirk lifting her lips.

  “There’s not much to tell. We ate some food and watched a couple movies, end of story.” She did not want to talk about their other activities because this day was already going to be long enough; especially after that kiss.

  “Nowhere did I hear why Kyle was still here this morning, or why his shirt was on the floor. And let’s not forget that kiss he planted on you before he left.”

  Why had she let Stella in this morning? She should have known this was coming. “We fell asleep on the couch watching the second movie, and neither of us woke up until a little before you got here.”

  Stella narrowed her eyes like she was trying to figure out if Lindsay was telling the truth. “So nothing else happen?”

  Instead of answering, Lindsay made a break for her bathroom and locked the door. She knew it was only a short reprieve, but Stella could wait. After all, she was the one that interrupted what was proving to be a very nice wake up call.

  Five minutes later, dressed and ready to go, Lindsay came out of the bathroom to find Stella missing. The familiar scent of coffee drifted into the room and she knew where to look.

  She had just entered the kitchen when Stella held up a mug. “I needed caffeine.

  “Sorry I didn’t have it ready, I got distracted.” Lindsay grinned and winked at Stella.

  “Smartass” They both laughed. “So are you going to tell me the rest, or am I just going to assume you got down and dirty with Kyle?”