The Shoma

“I’m worried about you, your hands are shaking,” I remind him.

  “Don’t worry because my hands are shaking. Worry that yours aren’t.”

  Finally, after all the humans are taken care of, we fly to Texas in search of the first Alpha. We get to the center where the rare flower exhibition will take place. All we have to do is take a look at the fungi called “Devil’s Cigar.” There, we are certain to find another clue.

  “What do you mean, come back tomorrow? We need to see the plant now,” Rage says to the security guard.

  “I’m sorry, but the exhibit opens tomorrow morning. Come back then,” the guard says, sounding smug and official.

  It’s all Rage can do not to slap him or set him on fire. Marcus, sensing Rage is on edge, signals for Jay to Convince the guard to let us go in. We enter the center and find plants featured from all over the world. Each exhibit comes with a detailed history and digital photos, showing the cycle of that flower or plant.

  We find where “Devil’s Cigar” is located and head over there. That display booth is empty. Jay goes to talk to the guard again. That’s when he tells us the only plant that has yet to arrive is the one we are looking for, but that it will be here in the morning.

  “Great, what now?” Ameana asks.

  “Now you go and Recharge,” Rage replies.

  “No, there has to be something we can do to get the clue before morning,” Ameana insists.

  “He’s right, Mimi. Get some rest. We don’t know where the next clue will take us, so you should rest while you can,” Miku says, taking her friend’s hand.

  “There’s a motel a few blocks away, let’s go,” Jay says, leading the way.

  As we walk through the small Texas town, the team remains relatively quiet. Alex lags behind us, keeping an eye on Rage.

  “Man, I would just love to kill that little runt,” Rage says looking back at him.

  “Great idea. Then you and I can pick out which outfits to wear at our son’s funeral,” Ameana says bitterly.

  “I didn’t say I would kill him, I said I’d love to. So what, I can’t even say what I want, now?” Rage counters.

  “You can say and do what you like, but you interfere with Alex in any way and I’ll kill you,” she says, with a certainty that causes Rage to flinch.

  “The threat of violence always sounds sexier when it comes from you,” he replies.

  She looks up at him, shakes her head and smiles. He gently pulls her close.

  “Don’t worry. Our family will make it through this. I promise you,” Rage assures her as he kisses her forehead.

  Wow, they seem happy together. Rage is so lucky. He’s found love and doesn’t have to push it away because he’s her CP trigger.

  Great, now I’m jealous of a Demon?

  “I know we can’t kill Alex, but son, we could tie him up and leave him somewhere,” Jay suggests.

  “I’m thinking in the woods with Lucy,” Miku jokes.

  “Better yet, maybe we could hide him in the closet and spook him. He’d pee his pants so much, he’d drown himself,” Marcus adds.

  I glare at him. He looks back at me and shrugs his shoulders, innocently.

  “Why would he even agree to go on this mission with us? He’s kind of a coward,” Miku says.

  “Stop it,” I snap.

  They all turn to face me. I wait until Alex passes us before I continue to speak.

  “Look, it’s not Alex’s fault that the Originals called for a review. He’s just doing his job. I think we should cut him some slack.”

  “Since when were you in camp Alex?” Miku asks.

  “I’m not. I’m just saying that sometimes it’s hard to be a part of this team. You never know what’s going to happen from one minute to the next. I was going to check on Jay in the last battle and Alex insisted he come with me even though he was afraid. So yes, he doesn’t have wings and save people every day, but he’s not a coward.”

  “Chill, baby girl, we were just joking,” Jay replies.

  “Well, stop it. Besides, it’s pretty stupid to call someone names when so much is riding on his assessment. Ever thought about being nice to him?” I ask.

  “By the looks of it, you’ve got that covered,” Ameana says slyly.

  “Excuse me?” I ask.

  “Never mind,” she says with a smirk.

  Marcus is watching my interaction with Ameana. When the group falls silent again, he whispers to me.

  “What did Ameana mean by her last comment?” Marcus asks.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Does she think you two have something going on?” He asks.

  “If you want to know what your ex thinks, ask her.”

  “Just how nice are you being to the Reviewer?” Marcus pushes.

  “His name is Alex, and you need to relax because he’s not our problem.”

  "Okay, then what is?”

  I glare at him. I hate when he acts like nothing is wrong. He knows damn well how upset I am about his near relapse.

  “C’mon, Emmy. You can’t still be mad about that,” Marcus says.

  “You nearly went back to drugs—”

  “—Keep your voice down. And I told you, it was nothing,” he warns.

  “If it was nothing then why haven’t you told the team about it?”

  “Emmy, you really think knowing that would help the team?”

  “Yes—no—I don’t know.”

  “Look, Emmy—”

  “—Can we just…drop it for now?” I ask.

  “Okay,” he says, clearly unhappy with the way things are between us.

  A few moments later we enter the courtyard of the motel. It’s not lavish or luxurious like the places we are used to staying in, but it’s near the center so we all agree to stay the night. We enter the lobby where an elderly man with thick glass and a cane sits behind the counter.

  When he sees us enter, he approaches the counter. This takes several minutes, as his walk is very unsteady. The team motions to help, but the old man waves them off and says he’s fine.

  “I’m Ed, how can I help you young folks?” He asks.

  “We need a few rooms,” Marcus replies.

  “How many?”

  “We need five,” Jay says.

  “Now there’s no ‘hinky-gaga’ in my motel unless you are all married,” he warns us.

  “Hinky what?” Rage asks.

  “He’s saying we can’t share rooms unless we are married,” Eta explains.

  “Okay…can we just get the keys please?” Miku asks.

  “I have three rooms; one for the boys and one for the girls. Who gets the extra room?”

  The owner asks.

  “Give it to him” Rage says pointing to Alex.

  The elderly man gives us the key, Jay pays him and we head towards our rooms. Just as we exit, Rage points to the slightly open door behind the counter. An old lady sits by the window with a book on her lap.

  “Who’s that?” Rage asks the old man.

  “That’s my wife, Millie. Pretty ain’t she?” He asks proudly.

  We look back at the frail woman in the wheel chair, dripping in wrinkles and loose skin. Her grey hair is piled on top of her hair in a bun. She’s looking out as if she can see something we can’t.

  “She’s beautiful,” Ameana replies sincerely.

  “Her eyesight’s always been bad, but now it’s rightly gone. She’s waiting for the Medicare people to send her a home attendant; someone who’ll read to her. That’s her favorite thing. She sits up at that window and reads for days. I use to do that for her, but now my sight’s going, too.”

  “When is the home attendant coming?” I ask.

  “They said next week. But they said that last month. Damn fools, they is.”

  Suddenly, Millie turns her head to face us. She calls out to her husband in a frail voice.

  “Ed, tell the Angels to come and sit with me awhile.”

  We all turn to look at each other in amazement. Surly she doesn
’t know the team and can’t see their wings.

  “Millie, these here are guests.”

  “Not the Demon. He can go back where he came,” she says.

  We smile awkwardly back to Ed. He says he’s sorry for his wife’s outburst.

  “Ed, is your wife sick?” Marcus asks.

  “She got that cancer in her. They wanted her to go stay in a hospital, but we would never leave here. This place is where we first started and she gonna go anyway, so just as good to go right here,” Ed says sadly.

  We thank him again and head outside.

  “What just happened?” Eta asks Marcus.

  “Millie’s dying. That’s when humans can see us. When they know their life has come to an end or is about to,” Marcus replies.

  We stand helplessly in the courtyard. You would think by now death was normal, but there’s just something about a person dying of old age. It’s sad, but it’s also thought provoking.

  Marcus breaks the silence and tells us to go rest because we will be leaving at first light to head to back to the center. The guys head to their room. Eta and Ameana make their way to the girls’ room and Miku and I follow, but at the last moment I decide I can’t put it off any longer.

  “Miku, can we talk out here for a sec?” I ask.

  “Sure,” she says, smiling brightly.

  We walk back toward the center of the courtyard. I can see the little details that make this place feel like more than just a generic motel. There are potted plants, lash grass and brightly colored flowers around us. In the center of the courtyard, there’s a bench that sits under an oak tree. That’s where Miku and I sit down to talk.

  “Emmy, is something wrong?” She asks.

  “I went with Rage to a club and I saw you there; kissing a Demon.”

  Miku looks like I’ve just stabbed her in the face. She is horrified and, although her body remains motionless, I can tell by her eyes that she is freaking out.

  “Tell me something, Miku. Say it wasn’t you or say Redd took over your body or aliens. I don’t care; just tell me that you’re not cheating on Jay.”

  “I am,” she admits with a soft voice.

  My heart sinks. I sigh and hold my head in my heads. I speak to her without looking up.

  “Miku, why? Why would you do that to him? He loves you.”

  “I know.”

  “THEN WHAT THE HELL?!” I shout.

  “I didn’t mean for it to happen it’s just…Jay is so…and I’m so…”

  “Um…I’m going to need actual words here Miku. Words that can explain why you’re breaking the heart of a guy who loves you so much.”

  “He’s an Angel,” she replies.

  “Yeah, so…?”

  “So he’s good. He’s kind and he embodies purity and light.”

  “So do you,” I remind her.

  “No, I don’t. I kill people. I torture them. I rip their hearts out of their bodies and I watch them bleed to death.”

  “That was not you; it was Redd.”

  “Emmy, it doesn’t matter what the circumstances are. I hurt innocent people. How can I be with Jay? He deserves someone better. He deserves to be with a real Angel. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes that.”

  “Okay, this is crazy. You know you had no power over Redd. She did those awful things, not you, but right now the person whose hurting Jay, that person is you. And you need to stop.”

  “I tried; I can’t.”

  “Why? Are you in love with this Demon?”

  “No, he’s just one of—”

  “—One of? Miku, how many guys are you seeing behind Jay’s back?”

  “Three.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY:

  REMEMBER THIS

  Have you ever looked at the person in front of you and wanted to shake the hell out of them? I mean really, grab hold of them and shake them senseless? Well that’s what I’m feeling right now. It’s a good thing that Miku is powerful and I love her, because right now, I desperately want to throttle her.

  “Please tell me I’m on some ‘hidden camera’ Angel TV show, and someone will come out here and say it’s all been a joke,” I say to Miku.

  “Wait, let me explain,” she begs.

  “Yes, please, please explain. And whatever you say better start with ‘In my drug induced haze…’”

  “When I’m with Jay it makes me so happy, but that happiness also comes with a lot of guilt. Given all the things I’ve done, do I deserve to be happy? Do I deserve Jay? No, I don’t. So while being with him makes me happy, it’s also really draining.”

  “So what does being with a Demon do for you?” I ask.

  “It sets me free.”

  “What?”

  “I mean…I don’t feel guilt when I’m with guys who are evil because I’m one of them.”

  “Miku, you are not.”

  “Yes, I am. Or least I’ve done what they have; I’ve killed and hurt innocent people. When I hook up with a Demon, I know they aren’t judging me.”

  “Jay does not judge you. You are the one judging yourself, and what does this have to do with the fact that there are three guys?” I snap.

  “There are three guys because not one of them is really important. I can barely keep their names straight. They’re just there as a stress relief.”

  “That’s Jay’s job. Miku, why are you betraying him?”

  “I don’t mean to, but it calls on me,” she says, heartbroken.

  “What calls on you?”

  “Darkness. Evil. And even though in the end I always regret it, I can’t help but seek it out.”

  “Miku, that’s not good enough. And I don’t believe that you would break Jay’s heart just because you have a thing for guys with black wings.”

  “No it’s not just that…”

  “Then what is it?” I push.

  “When I’m with the other guys, I’m not a…Guardian.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Everything about being with Jay reminds me of Guardian life. And everything about that life reminds me of Rio. I’m not running to other guys, I’m running from all the memories of Rio.”

  “I understand it’s hard for you, Miku, but what you’re doing is wrong.”

  “I know that and I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not the one you have to apologize to.”

  “You don’t understand how much turning into Redd has cost me. Then Rio dies and…Emmy, I needed an escape. I needed to pretend like I was just another Angel. I needed to get away from my life.”

  The tone of her voice tugs at my heartstrings. The profound sadness in her eyes makes it hard to stay angry with her. She looks lost and desperate. It’s ironic that she should be so powerful and so small at the same time. I embrace her tightly.

  “I know you’re hurting, Pretty. I know you miss Rio and things really suck right now, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are betraying Jay.”

  She pulls away from me and looks into my eyes. Had she been human, she would surely have been weeping.

  “I know. I just…I don’t know what to say to him,” she confesses.

  “You better figure it out and soon.”

  “Do you think he’ll forgive me?” She asks with a small voice.

  “I don’t know, Pretty, this is going to cut him deeply.”

  “Have you told anyone about this?” She asks.

  “Rage saw you, too.”

  “What?” She says, in full panic mode.

  “Don’t worry, he won’t say anything.”

  “How do you know that? Oh my Omnis, he’s gonna tell Jay,” she says, jumping to her feet.

  “No, he’s not. Rage has enough on his mind. You and Jay are the last thing he’s thinking about.”

  She breathes a sigh of relief and sits back down.

  “Miku, Jay needs to know,” I remind her.

  “I’ll tell him as soon as I figure out what to say.”

  “Look, Miku, I love you, but I love Jay, too. He needs to know wh
at you’ve been doing. I’ll give you time to figure out how to tell him, but do it soon, because if you don’t, I will.”

  Shortly after Miku goes back inside, my head begins to ache. The sharp pain gathers on one side of my head, and spreads down my neck. Suddenly, I need to shield my eyes from the light. I want to go inside my room, but even the thought of moving is too much, let alone actual movement. I hold on to the arm of the bench and try to breathe past my pain.

  “Are you alright?” A voice says.

  I can’t look up to see him, but judging from his voice, it’s Alex.

  “I’m fine,” I lie.

  “So when do we break for dinner on these missions?”

  “Eating takes a back seat to missions. In fact, I think in the past year and a half, I’ve eaten twice.”

  “Really?”

  “Eating is a human thing and often they forget to make time for it,” I say, hoping to distract myself from the pain.

  “Well, I think we should protest. Nothing fancy. You know a few picket signs and a march around a chosen skyscraper, chanting, ‘What do we want?’ ‘Food!’ ‘When do we want it?’ ‘Now!’”

  I start to laugh, but it quickly turns into a groan.

  “Emerson, what is it?” He says.

  “It’s just a headache, it’ll pass,” I reply.

  “Do you need anything?”

  “No, I’m—” I inhale sharply as the pain increases.

  “That’s not just a headache, it’s a migraine. My dad used to get them.”

  “Oh,” is all I can manage to say.

  Then he tells me he will be right back. I’m not sure how much time lapses, only minutes I guess, but with the pounding in my head it feels more like an hour. Alex returns with a bottle of aspirin he got from the motel owner and a can of soda.

  “Take the pills with the soda - the caffeine will help,” he instructs.

  I do as he says; I pop two pills in my mouth and wash it down with the cola.

  “I can help you back to the room, if you want,” he offers.

  “No, I’m good here.”

  “Okay, keep your eyes closed, and breathe deeply,” Alex says.

  He sits next to me and begins to massage my neck. The moment his hands make contact with my body I feel a tingle. That tingle is immediately followed by a wave of guilt. I’m about to tell him I don’t need a massage, but then he touches a spot at the base of my neck; the pressure feels wonderful. I moan with relief as he expertly kneads my neck and shoulders.