Kadence (Rockstar Book 7)

  It pisses me off that it was only one weekend and she never called. Eventually I’m going to get around to asking her about that bullshit, but not just yet. I don’t want her to put up any barriers and lock me out. She seems soft and compliant right now and that’s just how I like her.

  As they all file into the building, I signal Jesse and Lucy to stay behind a minute.

  “What’s up?” Jesse asks.

  How do I say this without pissing them off? I look down at my feet, hands on my hips, and I take a deep breath before meeting Jesse’s gaze, then Lucy’s.

  “Look, I know you meant well the other day when you went in by Kadi when the social worker was there, but she’s got a job and I don’t want to drag this shit out any longer than we have to, you know?”

  Lucy bristles. “Why do you even need a social worker? Sydney gave you custody in her will. It’s not like you’re going to lock her in a closet and forget about her.”

  “I know, Luce. I know. There’s no changing it. The best thing we can do is cooperate and hope this is over as soon as possible. I don’t want Kadi asking a bunch of questions and feeling unsafe with me.”

  Jesse clasps a hand on my shoulder. “Whatever you want, man. Just know we’ve got your back no matter what.”

  “I do. I know that, Jesse, and I appreciate that. I’m not sure how well I’d be handling this on my own,” I admit.

  “You’d be doing just fine,” Lucy assures me. “The only change you had to make in CFD was to relocate to a first floor wing. Simple. And it was all set up just as Sydney had it at their apartment—well, as close as we could get it.”

  “You all…” I trail off, shaking my head. “Thanks.”

  “No problem,” Jesse tells me. “I can’t imagine having that little girl down that wing.”

  I cringe. “Yeah, that wouldn’t be good. All we’d need would be for her to see—”

  “For her to see you guys dragging in a line of groupies to use and send on their way?” Summer asks, her face a mask hiding any emotion.

  Fuck.

  “Look here—” Lucy begins.

  “It’s all right, Luce. Why don’t you two go on in?” I prod. They eye me, then Summer, then me again before doing as I asked. My gaze still fixed on Summer, I lift a brow. “That’s what you think we’re about?”

  Summer crosses her arms. “It’s what all rockers are about. You all have that fuck ‘em and chuck ‘em mentality.”

  “All?” I ask, stepping closer, forcing her to back up a step. I keep advancing until she’s pressed against the gold building, then I take one more step coming flush against her.

  Her eyes are open wide, her lips parted, her breath coming out in nervous pants.

  Good.

  “We’re not all like that, Miz Stephens. If you recall, I gave you my number, which you didn’t use.” I reach up to grab a strand of her hair and start twirling it around my finger. “If anyone was doing the—what was it you said? Fuck ‘em and chuck ‘em?”

  She nods.

  “If anyone was doing the fuck ‘em and chuck ‘em, I think it was you.”

  “I did not,” she weakly protests. “I just didn’t see the point in calling you.”

  “You didn’t see the point,” I state. A grin forms as I begin to realize the real reason she didn’t call. “Oh, I think you wanted to call me. I think you wanted to call me bad. I bet you started dialing me a bunch of times, then talked yourself out of it.”

  “Why would I do that?”

  I lean in closer, our noses nearly touching. I move my head and angle it so if I closed in that last inch, my nose would be touching her jaw. I run my nose along the trail that would be her jaw and her breath catches.

  “Because you know we’re amazing together, that’s why. You remember it just as I do. How your breath caught in anticipation of my touch, taste, feel,” I whisper in her ear.

  I trail a finger down the side of her neck and over her shoulder, down her arm, lacing my fingers with hers before bringing our hands up between us to rest over her heart. “You still feel it.” I move our hands over my heart. “I remember you. Every breath, every touch, every sigh, every moan. Every time you screamed out my name when you came so hard your entire body shook. I remember.”

  She opens her mouth to reply but I keep going.

  “I never remember, Summer. But I remember you. I can’t forget and I know you can’t either. I won’t let you cheapen our weekend by saying it was just a weekend fuck because that’s a lie and you fucking know it. It was a hell of a lot more than that and I think that’s what’s got you running scared.” I lean in close again, my lips barely touching hers as I speak. “But I’m not letting you get away.”

  Desire blazes in her eyes. I swear I can smell her arousal. What I wouldn’t give to dip a finger inside her just to have a taste of what I know is heaven.

  I step back, breaking the spell.

  “Let’s go. I’ve got work to do. Jesse and Lucy’ll steer clear,” I tell her, heading into Nichols Records, not looking back because I know she’s still slumped against the wall.

  Oh, Miz Stephens, you’re not going anywhere. I’ve got plans for you—long-term plans.

  I get back to where the others are waiting just in time to see Kadi run up to Cage.

  “My gentle giant!”

  He scoops her up and gives her a hug. “How’s my little princess?”

  She beams up at him and Cage smiles back.

  “Dude, he smiles,” Xan whispers a little too loudly and Sera laughs.

  “Princess Sera!” Kadi screeches, wriggling around as Cage holds her. Sera steps up and hugs my baby girl, my baby girl hugging her back and my chest hurts. It hurts so much I feel a stinging sensation in my nose, my eyes are scratchy, and I’m having trouble breathing.

  I can’t…

  “Deep breaths, man,” Kennedy says close to my ear and I suck in a breath, leaning forward, resting my hands on my thighs. “Just keep breathing.”

  I nod.

  Fuck.

  I can only imagine how much she misses her mother. It hasn’t come up yet, but I know it will and when it does I’m not going to have a fucking clue as to how to handle it, how to comfort her, what to say to help her through the grief.

  “She’s too little to have to deal with this shit, Ken,” I tell him softly.

  “I fucking know it, but it’s the hand she was dealt. We just need to keep stacking the deck for her,” he replies.

  “Sounds easy but it’s going to be hard as fuck.”

  “Yep. But it’ll be all right in the end.”

  “From your lips…” I trail off as Summer walks toward us looking cool as a cucumber, all except for the blush staining her cheeks. It’s so fucking sexy how she gets that when she’s aroused. Her chest, neck, and cheeks flame a light pink.

  Christ, she’s something.

  Ethan stands next to me, arms crossed over his chest. “You’ve got it bad.”

  “Probably,” I admit.

  “Dude, you’re fucking sunk,” Xander adds.

  “Total goner,” Kennedy agrees.

  “Yeah,” I agree absent-mindedly as I watch Summer introduce herself to Cage and Sera. I rub the heel of my hand over my heart. That burn. It happens at the damnedest time.

  “Stop,” Ethan says.

  I look at him and he nods at my hand. Shit.

  “It’s your tell. If you’re not ready for her to know that much, keep that under wraps until you are,” Kennedy advises.

  “How the hell do you all know so much about this shit?” I question. They’re not in relationships either. Hell, I don’t think any of them ever have been, except for Xander.

  Ethan lifts a shoulder. “We pay attention. Jesse’s tell is his nostrils flare.”

  “Yep,” Kennedy agrees. “Even Cage has a tell.”

  “Sera’s his tell. The minute she’s in the room she’s all he sees,” I add.

  “Bingo!” Xander exclaims softly.

  “Some
day I’ll figure out your tells. You fuckers,” I chide.

  Ethan chuckles. “Not from me, dude. I’m as single as they come.”

  “Until you meet your one,” Lucy tells him as she walks up.

  “Never gonna happen,” he informs her.

  She tilts her head and studies him. He merely studies her in return, whereas I’d be fucking shifting uncomfortably.

  “Hmm,” is all Lucy says before she walks over to Jesse.

  “She sees too fucking much,” Kennedy scoffs.

  “Way too fucking much,” Ethan agrees.

  “She always has,” Xander states. “Suck it up, boys, there’s no hiding from Lucy’s knowing eyes.”

  “She’s got some of her Nana Russo’s mojo going on there,” I announce. “Shit. That’s how she does it!”

  All the guys are quiet for a minute, looking Lucy over. She looks at us and grins, then winks.

  “Son of a bitch,” Kennedy swears under his breath.

  “So fucked,” Ethan mutters.

  “Shit,” I add. “You could warn a guy, Xan. The fuck?”

  He looks at me and grins. “You’ve known her a hell of a lot longer than me, dude. Pay attention, fucker.”

  “Yeah, yeah. No time. I’ve got my girl to pay attention to.”

  “Which one?” Jesse asks as he steps up.

  “Christ. You too? Fuck off, all of you,” I bite out.

  “Tsk tsk,” Meggie chides as she walks in. “Swearing in front of the children.”

  Trace lifts his chin by way of greeting.

  I hear Kadi squeal and look over to find Cage having a hell of a time not dropping her as he sets her down. What the hell…?

  “Auntie Megs!” Kadi screams and runs over to the redheaded traitor next to me.

  “What the fuck, Meggie?” I shout.

  Kadi doesn’t stop. She launches herself at Megs, who catches Kadi and spins her around.

  “How are you doing, half pint? Oh, and how are you Rainbow?” she asks the stuffed unicorn like they’re long lost friends.

  “What the fuck is going on here?!” I bellow.

  “You sweared, Daddy,” Kadi scolds.

  “You might want to cover your ears, pumpkin. Daddy’s a little angry,” I warn.

  “Jeez, Jace. Calm the hell down,” Sera hisses as she heads over to Kadi and Megs. “Come with me, little princess, and we’ll let your daddy talk to Auntie Megs.” Sera gives me the eye and I shudder. I bet both Lucy and Sera can tap into that mojo. That’s some scary shit right there.

  When Kadi’s out of sight, I round on Meggie. “How do you know my daughter?”

  Meggie’s eyes widen. “Your daughter? I didn’t know she was your daughter, Jace. I swear. I had no idea what she was doing here.”

  “How do you know her, Megs?” I bite out, seething in anger and hurt.

  “Relax, man,” Trace tells me and it’s all I can do not to tell him to go fuck himself right now. I need answers and I need them right fucking now.

  “Remember when I went home to see my niece in her dance recital?”

  I nod.

  “That’s where I ran into Karen and Sydney. Shit, up until this minute I’d forgotten about it. I was more focused on my niece. Anyway, Karen introduced Kadence to me and Sydney was in the background helping some children with their costumes.” She swallows and looks me dead in the eyes. “I swear to you, Jace, I had absolutely no idea she was your daughter. If I did, I would have told you. I promise you.”

  I nod. It makes sense. Meggie knew Karen and Sydney from high school and she knew them much better than Lucy and Sera did. Lucy and Sera ran in a different circle, making me the only connection between those circles.

  “All right. All right. I’m sorry, Meggie.” I pull her in for a hug. “If only she’d spoken to you, we’d have had more time, I whisper.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jacey. I wish I had something more than those words to give you so you’d feel better, but that’s all I’ve got. Well, that, and this,” she says, squeezing in a tight hug. “I love you, Jace. I’d never do that to you, no matter if Syd was one of my best friends back then or not.”

  “I know. I do. I just…”

  “Stop. I get it,” she tells me, still holding me tight.

  “I’m sorry, Megs.”

  She nods as we pull apart.

  Trace growls, “I thought I was going to have to pry your cold dead hands off my woman, because if you hadn’t stepped back just now, I’d have had to lay you out.”

  Meggie rolls her eyes. “Calm down, freakmaster.”

  He grunts and gives her an unamused look.

  “Everything okay now?” Cage asks, more than a little concerned.

  “Yeah, man. Sorry for that.”

  He nods. “I can’t imagine I’d react any differently.”

  “Men,” Meggie declares, throwing her hands up in the air. “If you all would learn to trust a bitch just a little bit, the world would be a better fucking place.” After that declaration, she stomps off.

  “Well. I guess she told you,” Xan says, giving me a slap on the back.

  “Nah, I saw her looking at you, dude,” Trace tells him.

  “What the fuck? Really?” he asks.

  “Seriously,” Trace answers.

  Xander looks worried and confused. It’s hard to bite back the smile.

  “Shit,” he mutters as he heads off in the direction Meggie just went.

  When he’s far enough away, we all chuckle.

  “He’s way too easy,” Trace says, then walks off.

  It’s then I turn around and see Summer standing there. Son of a bitch! I fucking forgot she was there and I swore like a damn sailor in front of my kid.

  I groan inwardly.

  Fuck.

  13

  Summer

  He completely lost his shit. I’ve never seen Jace Warner lose his control. Not on stage and not in all the times he's been in the media. It’s not something I want to see again. The desperation in his voice and in his eyes as he all but pleaded with Meggie to tell him exactly what she knew was enough to make my heart ache.

  I shouldn’t have these feelings for him. I shouldn’t. I don’t want to, but I can’t help it. When he maneuvered me to the heated gold of the building at my back and his body an inch away from mine, it was all I could do not to beg him to take me somewhere—anywhere—and fuck me like only he can.

  It’s like he knows I wanted more from him—and I did. I do, but I won’t. I can’t. He’ll break me as only a man, a rockstar, like him can and I’ll never be able to put the pieces back together. I’ll never be the same.

  Besides, I’ve seen and heard what rockers do. I know all about the groupies, the random fucks. Even if I were to give in to him, it would only be casual and that’s not enough for me. He’d still want to screw around with random chicks at shows, clubs, anywhere really. That’s not okay with me. I’ve never been very good at sharing.

  Trace comes to stand next to me. He’s a very large man. Broad shoulders and chest, muscles galore. How he doesn’t squish Meggie, I don’t now.

  “Does he know who you are?” Trace asks.

  My brow furrows. “Pardon?”

  He looks at me this time, pinning me with his green eyes the color of freshly cut lawn. “Does he know who you are?”

  “Well, yes,” I answer confused.

  “No. Does he know who you really are?”

  My eyes widen.

  “Because I do, and I know if you don’t tell him now, it’s going to be a shitstorm later.”

  I blink, my heart beating fast. “How—?”

  “I remember you. I’ve got a photographic memory. Mostly just with faces, numbers, and music,” he informs me.

  I sigh. “He doesn’t need to know. We’re not involved like that.”

  Trace shakes his head. “Tell him.”

  I don’t like being told what to do. I straighten my spine. “That’s my business, not his.”

  He shakes his head ag
ain. “Remember this conversation when all hell breaks loose.” With that, he turns and walks over to Megs who’s eyeing me, trying to figure out what her guy had to talk to me about.

  Jace is standing there ramrod straight and I shake off Trace’s conversation and focus on why I’m really here.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask Jace. His jaw is clenched so tight it has to hurt. The normally-relaxed set of his shoulders is nothing but rigid.

  He nods once. “Fine.” Then he stalks over to the other Blush members, picking up Kadence and giving her a kiss on her cheek. He tells her something and she smiles at him.

  Her smile lights him up like a thousand beams of sunlight. He’s not as bright as he usually is, but he’s still beautiful. That thick brown hair, the cornflower blue eyes. His nose narrow and sharp, almost aristocratic. His jaw, sharp and proud. Throw all of that in with a lean muscular body made for sin, and, yeah, he’s beautiful. He’s more than beautiful and he makes me want.

  Damn him.

  Just then a tall, dark, and delicious man walks in and I recognize him immediately. Lucian Cordero. He is the epitome of bad boy. I bet his photo is next to the definition in the dictionary, and if it’s not, it should be.

  “Nicole,” Lucian calls out with a sexy grin. Ben, Nicole’s husband, bristles.

  Uh-oh.

  When Lucian leans in to kiss Nicole on her cheek and wraps her in his arms to give her a hug, I watch as Ben’s hand clenches into a fist. Just as Ben raises that monster fist, Lucian pulls back from Nicole.

  “It’s good to see you,” Nicole tells him, her eyes cutting to Ben to chastise him. I don’t know her, but I’d bet that look is for Ben even thinking about punching Lucian. These men, these rockstars, are so over-the-top alpha and protective I’m beginning to see them as barbarians with guitars, drums, and a microphone.

  “You look beautiful, as always. And your hair,” Lucian tells her, fingering the red locks. “So lovely.” He looks at her so lovingly that it hurts knowing he can’t have her, and when he turns from her, I see his pain. He’s trying hard to hide it, but it’s there. Working this job, I’ve learned how to read people and Lucian Cordero is very much in love with Ben Kingston’s wife.