I Sacrifice Myself

  Lane sighed and then left, locking the door behind her as she did so, bringing reality back like a cold draft of fresh air..

  I dried and dressed quickly, eager for my man. I knew that being in his arms would help me more than anything right now.

  In my room, I quickly bagged everything I’d need for later, and set the bag in the only chair in the room. My bed, a queen sized, stood in the middle of the room with the chair on one side, a nightstand and a dresser on the other. We shared bathrooms but I did have a sink and toilet in my little room. The one, tiny closet held all my belongings.

  I checked my cell and found a text from one of my aunts, Willow. Her and her two sisters, Aspen and Holly, were doing well. Phoenix had been under attack, but no deaths, and only two casualties. They wished me love and were sending good luck charms my way.

  These charms were powerful and coveted by all who knew of them. Saved my life, or so I believed, twice now. I was wearing the same one I had the night of my parent’s murder. They had not been wearing one.

  I texted them back. I didn’t mention tomorrow’s hunt so they would not be worried, or today’s attack. All three were either a widow or divorced.

  Packed and ready, I brushed my hair and teeth, trying to avoid looking at the haunted face before me. In the flickering light, the girl looked nearly dead, almost as if she were a ghost seeking something she would never find.

  I listened for the sounds of life outside my doors, hearing nothing I took a deep breath, letting the morbid thoughts fade away.

  I crept stealthily out into the hall, locking my door behind me, and into Dimitri’s room. I locked his door quickly, while I gave him a very naughty look.

  I knew he’d be waiting for me.

  My Dimitri was lying half naked on the bed, with eyes open, staring at me. I was wearing my usual black leather pants, and black tee shirt and boots, nothing too scandalous or sexy. At least nothing sexy that he could see anyways. Underneath my outer clothes, it was black, lace, and wicked.

  “Hi,” he whispered, clearly excited by my arrival.

  We always left the bad stuff outside and went on with life in here, when we were alone together. No point in brooding over death when it occurred every day around here. We relished these moments and would not ruin them.

  I turned out the light, not that it mattered to either of us.

  As I untied and kicked off my combat boots, I felt him stirring behind me. When I turned to face him, he had his boots off. I left my own clothing on, for now. We had not slept together, and for some time probably would not.

  We only wanted the closeness and comfort of being together. We were two hybrids, with no others like us, who were pretty lonely.

  He was the other reason I was single. My ex, Ash, didn’t like him too much. Not that I blamed him. Dimitri was five times the man he was. I guess Ash instantly had been aware of our mutual attraction to one another, even before I had been aware.

  I crawled up to Dimitri, and snuggled as close as I could, wrapping one leg over and through his. My arm held him close, and my head rested on his defined and muscled shoulder. His hairless chest was perfectly chiseled in all the right places. It gave me chills when it was bare, the tingly shivers echoing down my spine pleasantly.

  He was what I would call rocker Goth. Not the usual military type guys around here.

  Dimitri’s hand gently brushed my hair back, out of my eyes. He enjoyed running his hands through it.

  “What’s so absorbing earlier, that you didn’t pay attention to Commander Black?” Black was Ian’s last name.

  His hand moved to my arm, gently caressing me there, while his other hand found my hip.

  “Nothing really, just replaying the same shit as always through my head. Those meetings are useless, most of the time, because they can’t get their heads out of their asses. If they’d listen for just two minutes, I’d explain that you and I going out on our own was not suicide but our only true option.

  “The humans they pair us with usually end up dead, or wished they were. Almost half get turned because they’re just not fast enough. Hell, we’re not fast enough but together we can take out one or two vamps. I bet now we could take down an elder.”

  I sighed and played with his hair, a habit of mine, when it was in reach. I’d caught myself several times, in public, just as I was reaching. I had to be careful.

  “Shade you and I know this, but I think they’re just scared that if we’re not with them, they’d be vulnerable. They need us and they know it.”

  Dimitri’s hand, which had been on my hip a moment ago, found my lower back and sneakily lifted my shirt giving him access to the scandalous clothing underneath. Within minutes, he always had his hand under my shirt, and was caressing my back. This time was no exception. I was almost afraid to breathe, to move. For fear that he would realize and stop.

  For a moment, I felt regret and guilt. I’d always do this… feel bad about being with Dimitri and not Ash. Ash still wanted me, and I could clearly see the pain in his eyes, when he looked at me.

  Ash, for a human, was really good looking. He was always neatly dressed, had a smile or something funny for people, and was very laid back.

  Overall Ash’s Russian features stood out. Black hair cut military short, a day or so of stubble, and stormy grey eyes. His cheek bones and jaw line was American Indian, Navajo I think he once said, and very defined. His Russian/Greek heritage was always very prominent with his clothing style and the sharp cut of his nose.

  He was a very strong, dark, and self-confident man.

  His one obsession, other than me, was video games. Ash was twenty five and still played RPG or shooter games. There was one he was hell-bent to play in his free time, something entitled duty calling, or something like that.

  He and Santos usually had their systems rigged to play together.

  Not that I didn’t like to play, but there were other things to do with my time, such as snuggling and kissing.

  Even though Dimitri and I had not taken that next step, we’d come pretty close. Tonight might be one of those times.

  The hunters going on the trip tomorrow were to get some much needed R and R, and then sleep in late. Sometime after lunch, we were to warm up, and get ready to roll later that night.

  Times like these were rare, and scared the hell out of me. I never knew when it would be our last. If we’d be exposed, or one of us would fall in battle, or get turned.

  My hand found his exquisite chest again, tracing the hard planes that drew me. I nearly exploded right then and there.

  I’d loved Ash with all my heart, but Dimitri was something else. I’d die for him, without a hesitated thought. He was the air I breathed, the light I followed, and the blood in my veins, literally…

  He’d learned of my need for sustenance and quickly decided he’d be my donor. Before, it was a few others, who’d take turns going to the clinic and donating a liter or so, like Ash. I would never bite them, they just donated to the Red Cross and when I became hungry I would go pick up the warmest one, if there was a warm one.

  Another reason he despised and envied Dimitri I supposed. I was sure Ash knew of our secret cuddling.

  Dimitri was strong enough that I could drink from him anytime I needed to. His blood was also better in many ways. It carried no diseases, illnesses, or weaknesses. It was the perfect source for me. He also did not require blood like I did.

  You may wonder how I drank my blood. Like most vamps, except my incisors were tiny, bigger than humans but nowhere close to the size of other vamps. Another thing Dimitri did not have.

  My kitten sized fangs, were something the whole base either joked about, or feared.

  “You’re pale again Shade,” Dimitri whispered. His mouth was only millimeters from my ear. His warm, intoxicating scent teased me mercilessly.

  I was still getting use to biting people. It made me feel like a monster and he knew it. Biting humans for me was one rule the compound would never waver on. They w
ere afraid I might not be able to control my thirst, like a normal vamp.

  I tried explaining I didn’t have a demanding or unquenchable thirst. It was more of a hunger or craving, almost sexual or like a drug. It was a strong craving right now. Dimitri’s precious scent made me heady. It was obviously a turn on for me.

  He smelled manly, but spicy like cinnamon. There was also a pleasant burnt wood smell. I could not describe it any other way. When I was this close it was almost impossible not to sniff him, like I needed to inhale it to be calm or something. That sounded so contradicting except that it was the truth.

  He laughed, deep in his throat, at my failed attempt to hide this from him. His laugh was ultimate pleasure, leaving me shaking like a leaf. It pulsated through me, creating a ghost-like touch which reached my inner-most core.

  “If you don’t bite me my little pussy cat, I’m going to spank you,” he threatened, kinkily. His hand inched down over my butt. He was playing, but his serious tone made me believe him. It wouldn’t be the first time either…

  I hesitated only briefly. The times I’d bitten him, we’d gotten very sexually aroused, as if we were not now. When vamps bite it usually hurts, but their venom calms the victim. Whatever mood the vamp is in, so is the victim. If the vamp is a baby one, then they may feel frightened or upset in some way, and so will the victim.

  I usually feel sexually aroused or very relaxed with Dimitri. Therefore he would, if he already wasn’t. This was probably the main reason, of many, why he was so willing to donate.

  I trusted him completely. He has saved my life twice now. I owed him and yet he continued to give to me. This man meant more to me than, everything in the world, times ten the drops of rain.

  As the tips of my fangs brushed his neck, he groaned in pleasure, arching his back underneath me. I could tell he was certainly aroused. My leg could feel evidence of how aroused I made him.

  I licked his neck playfully and heard him sigh. He was going to end up kissing me if I didn’t bite him soon. I grazed his neck, in a predator versus prey-like motion. I felt his body tense up as he awaited my strike.

  I was always very gentle, unless we were in the middle of a very heated make-out session. I allowed my animalistic side to take over. I always felt like shit afterwards, even though the bruises never lasted more than thirty minutes to an hour, if that.

  He hardly ever sported evidence of my feedings. Most people thought I needed less blood now, as I was older. I got blood only every other week or so now, and figured soon I could stop altogether. Some may question this, and wonder how I was feeding myself, but it would not alarm anyone.

  I ate human food as well, unless I was full. In this case I was starved because I hadn’t eaten since last night.

  My fangs scratched his throat, above the jugular, as his hand clamped my hip and crushed me to him. His arousal was giving my virginal body too many emotions to handle at one time, and I felt as if I was going to float away on a cloud full of lightning and thunder.

  I gently bit down, only hard enough to break the skin and pierce the vein beneath. Blood trickled into my mouth, instantly giving my tongue goose bumps and my stomach butterflies.

  I licked the bit that escaped before I could get my mouth on him, and then sucked and pulled the flow into my mouth. The taste of his blood was unlike any others. I could never explain it to a mortal. It was like sex in liquid form I suppose. Chock full of rainbow aura goodness and perhaps molten perfection.

  I could feel his heart beating beneath me and I was careful to monitor it. It was pointless, but something I’d made a habit of. He never was dulled by the blood loss, although I’d never taken more than a liter or so at one time.

  “Shade…” he whispered my name with such longing. It stirred emotions deep within me.

  I continued the satisfying pull of blood, quenching my hunger. My body quivered in ecstasy as Dimitri gripped my hair in his fist. His other hand no longer gripped my hip or caressed me, but was brushing along my butt to my inner thigh.

  His fingers found my zipper and inched it down, oh so slowly. He used both hands to slide my pants off of me without moving too much, so as to not break my connection and interrupt me.

  He had my leather pants off and his fingers trailing the hem of my lacy panties before I even realized it. His talented fingers worked their way inside the panties, under the curve of my butt. He caressed me, almost as gently as a feather, in places better left unshared.

  By the time he made his way to hot and quivering core, I was at my breaking point. I was nearly purring, nearly ready to do something I didn’t fully understand, and ready to drain him dry.

  I nearly stopped drinking to moan. After reaching a liter and a half I slowed my sucking and let it begin healing. I lapped up the last of it as the vein closed. Now the wound only trickled. Had I seen a human bleed from a neck wound, I’d have worried, and then became hungry and had to leave them.

  His fingers skimmed my womanly area and danced nimbly, dangerously close to entering me and aroused me to a new peak so far beyond the last that when I crashed, tears escaped my closed eyes.

  I shuddered in his steel-like embrace. I was almost embarrassed at my body’s way of showing my pleasure. I hid my face in his neck, letting his soul satisfying scent bring me back to earth.

  His fingers slipped out of my panties. He crushed me to him, shaken, and dangerously close to taking that last step with me.

  With my panties soaked, face wet with tears, I almost cried into his neck. His kisses calmed me enough to get over my emotional roller coaster.

  Dimitri’s blood kept me pretty satisfied and I was never without control in that area. It was these damned emotions that I was having trouble with.

  I remembered the first time I’d bitten him. We’d been sparring in the training area and he’d flipped me on my back and straddled me. As he held my hands above my head, he lowered his upper body slowly to mine, to keep me from bumping him off. His lower body had me pinned so well I couldn’t use my legs.

  He’d frozen and stared me in the eyes for a full minute, with a tortured look that jumped from hunter to the hunted. I saw his battle lust turn to sexual lust in milliseconds. He rolled his body against mine, causing me to stop trying to escape him. I’d looked into his brilliantly colored eyes, and forgot everything I was supposed to be doing, and nearly stopped breathing.

  Dimitri’s own breathing had increased along with his heart rate. My body was showing definite signs of attraction.

  Ash and I had just broken up that day, and it had shocked me later to realize he had not once crossed my mind, while lying beneath Dimitri in this position.

  Dimitri had leaned down, ran his nose along my throat, like a wolf and then he bit me. I had been pleasantly and totally shocked.

  It was as if he was claiming his female wolf.

  I’d turned my face towards him and he’d hesitantly brought his lips to mine, which were trembling. He tasted my lips thoroughly and then he savagely kissed me. I’d held back slightly wondering where this would lead.

  He’d been on my mind at times and often I’d pictured in my mind this scenario. Only we were not out in the open, where anyone could see us.

  After he slowed, I trailed my kisses, to his ear and down to his neck. When I reached there I could not stop myself from closing my fangs around him.

  “Do it, I know you’re hungry, little kitten.”

  I looked him in the eyes and saw his approval, pleased with his pet name. His serious tone and the set of his mouth decided me. I bit him harsher than I should have. It’d only been my first time in biting another. Ash and I’d never gone there. It was forbidden and he was human.

  Dimitri was not. Dimitri was stronger. Dimitri was intoxicating.

  He lifted my soul up, made me feel cherished, and was the yin to my yang.

  I realized I’d been denying the most obvious fact. I was head over heels for him, the one male in my area that could keep up with me, and take me. He was the o
ne and only male that could throw me around, and put me in my place. He was the only one that could pin me down, or own me in any way… and I wanted him. I wanted him more than the air in my lungs, more than the blood I craved, and more than any man before.

  I remember being shocked at the taste of his blood, and jerking my eyes from his neck to his eyes. He had a satisfied look on his face, almost dream-like.

  I bit him again and satisfied my intense thirst that burned inside of me, always burned before that day.

  This time, lying in bed with him was different, but in many ways the same. I’d learned control quickly, so that I didn’t mark him too badly, and I didn’t hurt him more than necessary.

  I kissed his lips now with a ferocious need. I had to claim him as mine, remind him and myself, that we’re alive and together.

  His hands roamed my sides and soon found the clasp on my bra. He removed it quickly without breaking my contact with him.

  I was in only panties now and I felt he would finally be inside me, where he belonged.

  Maybe he realized, as I did, that tomorrow could be fatal for one of us.

  I kissed him frantically now, as that thought crossed my mind. He sensed my increased need and gave me everything back I dished out.

  A knock at his door stopped his hand from removing my panties. I would have let him, which would probably have been a bad thing.

  He reached down to the floor with one hand to grab my discarded and forgotten pants. I groaned but sat up. His hair was a mess but that could easily be explained by sleep.

  I took my pants from him reluctantly, and kissed him one more time. His hand reached for me, but I swiftly slid over him, noting his obvious proof of desire for me. I was pleased, of course, that I could bring him to such pleasure.

  As I shut the door to the bathroom I heard him unlock his door.

  I heard a male voice. It was one of our commanding officers.

  “I wanted to ask you, if maybe you could take on another hunter, to train. She’s eighteen now and finished with her schooling. She seems quite capable of being a strong hunter. I think she’d do well under you.”