Something From the Nightside

  I pushed his hateful words aside, concentrating on my gift. If there was anything that could still kill Razor Eddie, and give him peace at last, my gift would find it. It didn’t take long. Pretty obvious, once I had the answer. The only thing that could kill Eddie was his own straight razor. The weapon that no-one ever saw. I already knew it wouldn’t be anywhere about his person, or he’d have used it on himself before now. The insects couldn’t separate him from it, either. Eddie and his Razor were bound together by a pact only a god could break. I focused my gift further, and there it was, in the one place the insects could put it that Eddie couldn’t reach it. They’d buried it deep inside his own body, in his guts.

  I made myself act without thinking, without feeling. I thrust my hand into one of the insects’ exit wounds, forcing it open, and then drove my hand deep into Eddie’s guts, not listening as he screamed, holding him down with all my weight as he kicked. Joanna was dry-heaving by now, but she couldn’t bring herself to look away. My arm was bloody up to the elbow by the time my fingers closed around the pearl handle of the old-fashioned straight razor, and Eddie howled like a damned thing as I pulled my hand back out again. Blood dripped thickly from my fingers and my prize. Eddie lay shuddering, moaning quietly. I opened the razor and set the edge against his throat, and I like to think there was gratitude in his eyes.

  “Good-bye, Eddie,” I said softly. “I’m so sorry. Trust me. I won’t let this happen.”

  “How very sentimental,” said the Collector, “but you haven’t really thought this through, have you?” I didn’t need to look round to know that he was enjoying every moment of this. “You see, if you destroy the insects’ only host, and then remove yourself and the woman from this Time, you will be condemning every species here to extinction. Are you really ready to commit genocide, to wipe out the only living things left on the earth?”

  “Hell yes,” I said, and Razor Eddie didn’t even twitch as I cut his throat, pressing down so hard with the blade that I could feel the steel edge grate against his neckbones. I needed to be sure. Blood pumped out under pressure, soaking his clothes and mine, and the dusty ground around us. Eddie lay there peacefully as he died, and afterwards I held him in my arms and cried the tears he couldn’t. Because for all our differences, and there had been many, he had always been my friend. When the very last of his life went out of him with a sigh, his razor disappeared from my hand. I lowered his body to the ground and clambered unsteadily to my feet. The Collector was looking at me, utterly stupefied.

  “Hate creepy-crawlies,” I explained.

  The insects screamed suddenly; a shrill inhuman sound that filled the purple night. It had taken them a while, but they’d finally understood the significance of what I’d done. The scream rose and rose as more and more of them took it up, until it seemed to be coming from everywhere in the desolate city. I smiled my old smile, my devilish smile, and the Collector flinched at the sight of it. The insects were boiling all around us, pressing right up to the limits of the yellow light. I had just murdered all their future generations … unless they could find a way to make use of me, and Joanna. I checked the distance to the far boundary again. Fifteen minutes’ running time, maybe ten, depending on how motivated we were. As long as the lighter fuel held out.

  The Collector cried out suddenly as holes opened up in the ground around his feet. The insects down below weren’t intimidated by his light, and they had finally come for him. One of the Collector’s legs plunged down into a gaping hole, and he cried out in pain and shock as unseen jaws sank deep into the meat of his leg. More holes opened up in the ground around me and Joanna, but I had already hauled her to her feet by main force, and we were off and running. We left Eddie’s body behind. He was past caring, at last. And already decaying, as the long years finally caught up with him.

  We ran past the Collector, who was screaming shrilly as he scrabbled in his suit pockets for something. He finally pulled out a shiny canister, and sprayed the contents down the hole. More of the insects screamed underground, and the Collector was able to pull his leg free. Huge chunks of flesh were missing, the cracked bone clear among red strings of meat. The Collector whimpered, and then sprayed his canister wildly about him as more holes opened up. The light he stood in was flickering unsteadily now as his concentration wavered. He swore briefly, like a disappointed child, and vanished, back into Time. The light snapped off, and the insects charged forward, coming after Joanna and me as we ran for the boundary.

  Joanna was back in control again, her face grim and focused as she held the lighter out before her, almost like a cross to ward off the undead. It seemed to me the flame was smaller than it had been, but I didn’t say anything. Either it would last, or it wouldn’t. Insects crowded in all around us, scrambling over each other in their eagerness to get at us, but still they couldn’t bring themselves to enter the gradually shrinking pool of yellow light. There were some the size of dogs, and some the size of pigs, and I hated them all. Joanna and I ran straight at them, and they fell aside at the very last moment, huge dark mandibles snapping shut like bear traps. I glanced again at Joanna’s lighter, and didn’t like what I saw. The flame wasn’t going to last until we reached the boundary, and if it didn’t, neither would we. So I called on my gift one more time, to find a path of power.

  There are lots of them, in the Nightside, with lots of names; from the über science of the ley lines to the shimmering magic of the Rainbow Run, there have always been roads of glory, hidden from all but the keenest of gazes, holding the substance of the world together with their immaterial energies. If you had the courage to run them, you could gain your heart’s desire. Supposedly. And even now, in this desolate and deserted place, the paths of power remained. My gift locked on to one that led right to the Timeslip boundary, and called it up into existence. A bright, vivid, scintillating path appeared before us, and the insects fell back from the new light as though they’d been burned. Joanna and I ran on, hand in hand, pushing ourselves hard, and sparks flew up from our pounding feet.

  But I was already slowing. Using the gift had taken a lot out of me, at the end of a long, hard day. I’d used my gift too often, pushed it too hard, and I was paying the price now. My head was throbbing so hard I could barely see anything outside of the path, and blood ran steadily from both my nostrils and dripped from my chin. My legs felt very far away. Joanna was having to drag me along now, keeping me moving through sheer determination. I could feel the boundary drawing closer, but it still seemed a hell of a way off. Like in those dreams where you run as hard as you can, and still never get anywhere. Joanna was yelling at me now, but I could hardly hear her. And the insects were all around us, a scuttling carpet of dark intent.

  I was tired and hurting, but even so I was surprised when my legs just suddenly gave out, and I fell. I hit the glory path hard, and small shocks ran through me, none of them enough to get me back on my feet again. So close, the magic was almost painful. The insects surged right up to the edge of the light, staring at me with expressionless compound eyes. Joanna leaned over me, and tried to raise me up, but I was too heavy. I rolled over onto my side and looked up at her.

  “Get the hell out of here,” I said. “I’ve taken you as far as I can. There’s nothing more I can do for you. Boundary’s straight ahead. I’ve already cracked an opening that will take you back to the Nightside. Go find your daughter, Joanna. And be kind to her. In memory of me.”

  She let go of my arm, and it dropped limply to the bright track. I couldn’t even feel it.

  “I won’t leave you,” said Joanna. “I can’t just leave you.”

  “Of course you can. If we both die here, who’ll help your daughter? Don’t worry; I’ll be dead before the insects get to me. I’ll see to that. Maybe … by dying here, now, I can prevent this ever happening. Time’s funny that way, sometimes. Now go. Please.”

  She stood looking down at me, and suddenly her face was utterly blank. All the emotion had gone out of it. Shell-shocked, a
gain, perhaps. Or just considering the matter. She turned away from me, staring down the glowing path towards a boundary whose existence she could only take on faith. She was going to leave me behind, to die. I could feel it. Part of me cursed her, and part of me urged her on. I’d always known something in the Nightside would kill me, and I hated the thought that I might drag someone else down with me. And then she turned back, all the blankness gone from her face, and she grabbed me by the arm again with both hands.

  “Get up!” she said fiercely. “Damn you, get up on your feet, you bastard! We haven’t come this far together for you to give up now! I’m not leaving without you, so if you don’t get up, you’re killing me along with you. So move, damn you!”

  “Well,” I said, or thought I said. “If you put it that way…”

  Between the two of us, we got me back on my feet again, and we staggered down the shimmering path. I kept thinking that the next step would be my last, that there just wasn’t anything left in me, but Joanna kept me going. Half-supporting, half-carrying me, urging me on with comforting words and shouted obscenities. She dragged me down the path, all the way to the boundary, the insects screaming shrilly all the way, until suddenly we crashed through the crack I’d opened and back into our own Time.

  We collapsed together on a rain-slick street, fighting for breath, and the wonderful roar of the living city was all around us. Bright neon and thundering traffic, and people, people everywhere. The night sky was full of the blaze of stars, and the great and glorious moon. It was good to be home. We lay side by side on the pavement, and people walked around us, ignoring the blood that soaked my clothes. The Nightside is a great place for minding your own business. I looked at the moon in its bright unblinking eye, and said sorry. Not everyone gets to see the possible results of their own future actions. The world that could be, if they really screw up. I wondered whether I should tell the present-day Razor Eddie of what I’d seen in the possible future. I thought not. There are some horrors no man should have to contemplate, not even the Punk God of the Straight Razor.

  Not every future is etched in stone. I should know.

  I’d seen enough, before now. But I still felt guilty, even if I didn’t know what for.

  You should never have gone looking for your mother. That’s what the future Eddie had said. I’d always been curious about the mother who abandoned me. The woman who wasn’t actually human after all. In the early hours of the morning, when a man just can’t sleep, I’d often wondered if I help other people find things that matter to them because I can’t find the one thing that really matters to me. Well, now I’d have something else to think about at three o’clock in the morning.

  I looked at Joanna. “You know, I really thought you were going to leave me there, for a moment.”

  “For a moment,” she said slowly, “I was. I surprised myself. I didn’t know I had that kind of determination in me.” She frowned. “But it was … strange. Something in me didn’t want to help you. Don’t ask me to explain, because I can’t. It’s like there’s something on the tip of my tongue, a word or a memory I can’t quite grasp … Oh hell, it doesn’t matter. We both got out. Now let’s get up off this freezing-wet pavement and go find Blaiston Street. After all we’ve been through to get there, I’m curious to see what it looks like. It had better be worth it.”

  “Cathy will be there,” I said.

  “And we will find her, and save her from whatever damn fool mess she’s got herself into this time. Anything else can wait. Right?”

  “Right,” I said, not entirely sure just what it was I was agreeing to.

  When I did find out it was, of course, far too late.

  Time Out At the Hawk’s Wind Bar & Grill

  I’d just seen the end of the world, murdered one of my oldest friends, and discovered that the one quest I’d always intended to give my life to was now forever barred to me; so I decided I was owed a break. Luckily there was a really good café close by, so I took Joanna firmly by the hand and led her there, so that we could both get our mental breath back. The Nightside will grind down the toughest of spirits, if you don’t learn to take the occasional pit stop, when you can. Joanna didn’t want to go, with Blaiston Street and the answer to her daughter’s fate now so close at hand, hopefully, but I insisted. And she must have been tired and shaky too, because she’d actually stopped arguing before we reached our destination.

  The Hawk’s Wind Bar & Grill is a sight to see, something special even among the Nightside’s many dark wonders, and I stopped outside a moment, so Joanna could appreciate it. Unfortunately, she wasn’t in the mood. Which was a pity. It’s not every day you get to see such a perfect monument to the psychedelic glories of the sixties, complete with rococo Day-Glo neon and Pop Art posters with colours so bright they practically seared themselves onto your retinas. The Hindu latticed doors swung politely open before us as I urged Joanna in, and I breathed deeply of the familiar air of the sixties as we entered the café; joss sticks and patchouli oils, a dozen kinds of smoke, all kinds of freshly brewing coffee, and a few brands of hair oil best forgotten.

  The place was packed and jumping, as always, all the hits of the sixties throbbing loudly on the thick air, and I smiled about me at familiar faces as I led Joanna through the maze of tables to find a reasonably private spot at the rear of the café. Strangefellows is where I go to do business, or a little private brooding; Hawk’s Wind is where I go for the peace of my soul. Joanna looked disparagingly at the stylised plastic table and chairs, but sat down with a minimum of fuss. I liked to think she was beginning to trust my instincts. Her nostrils twitched suspiciously at the multicultural atmosphere, and I pretended to study the oversized hand-written menu while she looked about her. There was always a lot worth looking at in the Hawk’s Wind Bar & Grill.

  The décor was mostly flashing lights and psychedelia, with great swirls of primary colours on the walls, the ceiling and even the floor. A jukebox the size of a Tardis was pumping out an endless stream of hits and classics from the sixties pop scene, blithely ignoring the choices of those stupid enough to put money in it. The Kinks had just finished “Sunny Afternoon,” and the Lovin’ Spoonful launched into “Daydream.” My foot tapped along as I unobtrusively studied Joanna while she studied the faces around her. The tables around us were crowded with travellers from distant lands and times, heroes and villains and everything in between. Plus a special sprinkling of the kind of people who could only ever have felt at home in a place like this. Names and faces, movers and shakers, and all the unusual suspects.

  The Sonic Assassin was showing off his new vibragun to the Notting Hill Sorcerer. The timelost Victorian Adventurer was treating his new sixties stripper girlfriend to the very best champagne. The Amber Prince was sitting alone, as usual, trying to remember how he got there. Any number of spies, ostentatiously not noticing each other. And for a wonder, all five Tracy brothers at the same table. While off in a far corner, what looked like the whole damned Cornelius clan were being their usual raucous selves, running up a tab they had no intention of paying. I had to smile. Nothing much ever changed here. Which was, of course, part of the attraction. The Hawk’s Wind Bar & Grill was happily and proudly free of the tyranny of passing Time.

  In the centre of the great open floor, two go-go dancers dressed in little more than bunches of white feathers were dancing energetically in ornate golden cages, fragging and bobbing their heads for all they were worth. The one in the silver wig winked at me, and I smiled politely back. A waitress came tripping over to our table in eight-inch pink stiletto heels, plastic mini skirt, starched white man’s shirt and a positively precarious beehive hairdo. I stood up and peeled off my trench coat, indicating the blood-soaked material, and the waitress nodded brightly.

  “Oh sure, JT; anything for you, baby! Welcome back, daddy-o; looking good! You wanna order yet?”

  She was chewing gum, and her voice was an irritatingly high-pitched squeal, but there was no denying she was authentic as hell.
I sat back down and handed her the menu.

  “Two Cokes, please, Veronica. Nothing else. And fast as you can with the coat. I’m in the middle of a case.”

  “Never knew you when you weren’t, dearie. Any messages from the future?”

  “Invest in computers.”

  “Groovy!”

  And off she went, swaying on her heels like a ship at sea. Friendly hands reached out to her from all sides, but she avoided them with practised ease and vicious put-downs. A beatnik stood up to recite some poetry, and we all threw things at him. The Animals were singing an uncensored version of “House of the Rising Sun.” Try and find that one on a CD compilation. Joanna leaned forward across the plastic table to glare at me.

  “Tell me you haven’t dragged me into some hideous sixties theme café. I lived through the sixties, and once was more than enough. And we definitely don’t have the time to hang around here while they launder your coat! Cathy is close now. I can feel it.”

  “We could spend a month in here, and not one second would have passed in the street outside,” I said calmly. “It’s that kind of place. And the laundry here really is something special. They ship your clothes all the way to China and back, and guarantee it’ll come back spotless. They could get all the markings out of the Turin Shroud, and add double starch for no extra charge.”

  “I need a drink,” Joanna said heavily. “And not some damned Coke, either.”

  “Trust me; you’re going to love the Cokes they serve here. Because this café isn’t a re-creation of the sixties. This is the genuine article.”

  “Oh bloody hell. Not another Timeslip.”

  “Not as such … The original Hawk’s Wind Bar & Grill was a hang-out for all the great sixties adventurers and cosmic spirits, and much loved in its day, but unfortunately the café burned down in 1970; possibly in self-immolation, as a protest over the Beatles splitting up. It was due to be replaced by some soulless, boring business school, but luckily the café was so fondly remembered by its famous and gifted patrons that it came back, as a ghost. This whole establishment is one big haunting, a deceased building still stubbornly manifesting long after the original was destroyed.