Forbidden

  Every hour I met Kadesh in the street to report our findings, which were nothing.

  There were only three shops left when I stood at a table looking at an array of cloaks with various grades of wool. I was so weary; I felt dazed, numb. The search seemed fruitless.

  “Girl, I’m about to close up shop,” a male voice said. “You need to leave now.”

  I jerked my head up, taking in the merchant’s haggard face. “I’m sorry. How much is this?”

  “You’ve been standing there for a long time contemplating how to steal that scarf, and I do not believe you have any money to make a purchase.”

  “Steal?” I repeated, blinking at him. “I’ve never stolen anything in my life.”

  The shopkeeper shook his head. “You’re a desert-tent girl, I can tell. And desert people steal all the time.”

  I was about to argue when I saw Kadesh coming slowly down the street. I could tell he had no news. Our time had run out. I’d failed.

  I cleared my throat. “I’m looking for a merchant who owned a shop here in Mari. A few months ago he was going to sell it and go to Salem—”

  He cut me off. “People move all the time. And with the city under siege, more have left than usual. If you were smart you’d go, too. Life is going to get uglier. Hammurabi has rejected the king’s latest truce.”

  His words meant almost nothing to me, and this was my last chance. So I forged ahead. “This merchant bought a little girl he planned to sell in Salem. I’ve been trying to find her.”

  The man’s eyebrows knit together. He looked me up and down. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kadesh pause and wait, his hand on his belt.

  “A girl, you say, eh? More like a baby, a toddler?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. “Do you know who that merchant was?”

  “You might be referring to my brother. He wanted to leave due to the political situation here and his ill health. I took over his shop, which I’m now regretting myself.”

  “Do you know what part of Salem he went to, or who the slave trader was? I will gladly pay for any information.”

  “He bought the girl but eventually found a better buyer right here in Mari. So he never left, and he may not survive this siege, either. He’s living in my house now.”

  I whispered, “You are too kind, sir.”

  “You’re too young to be on your own here. Do you have family?”

  “Yes. Relatives.”

  “Go home. The city is more restless than usual tonight. I fear there will be an outbreak of violence against the soldiers.”

  “But, sir!” I cried. “Who did your brother sell the child to? Do you know? Can I talk to him?”

  The shopkeeper shook his head. “A married couple bought the girl. Paid double. They’re one of the fortunate ones who still have any money. A nobleman who went into hiding at the palace. A longtime friend of the king’s.”

  “The palace,” I breathed, my eyes widening. “Is she going to be raised as a slave for King Zimrilim? What will happen to her now that Hammurabi is overthrowing Zimrilim?”

  “I don’t know, but the palace citizens may not survive. Zimrilim has been pretending to negotiate a treaty before he actually exiles himself to Damascus. Meanwhile his generals are arranging the biggest attack yet on Hammurabi. We need to leave the city before the gates are locked. The danger has been escalating and there are rumors something will happen tonight. It’s no longer safe for any of us. I implore you to leave while you can.”

  I lurched out of the shop and nearly fell into Kadesh. The street was suddenly thinning in the late afternoon. “Did you hear that?” I asked him.

  Kadesh nodded. “Our search has finally proven fruitful. We’ll go right now to find your sister.”

  I felt the color drain from my face. “This very moment? It’s like a miracle, Kadesh!”

  I followed behind him as we maintained our pretense of a sibling relationship, hurrying out of the weaver’s market and heading to the main plaza. “Let’s go to the palace immediately,” he suggested. “The city is not safe tonight. As soon as we find Sahmril, we need to depart.”

  We hurried as fast as we dared, closing in on the palace courtyard gates as the sun began to set.

  “Jayden.” Kadesh spoke my name, and we halted. Beyond the gates in front of us, trees grew denser, shade covering our heads. He lowered his voice. “You must prepare yourself for whatever happens.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I’m fairly certain Sahmril is healthy and has been taken care of, but seeing her is going to be hard for you.”

  “We can buy her back, right? Take her with us tonight? We have enough coins and frankincense, don’t we?”

  Kadesh nodded but didn’t say anything else, which left me troubled.

  I was nervous and queasy as Kadesh spoke to a man at the small, golden gates of a courtyard on the north side of the palace. Past the spires of the gate, my eyes became lost in the sight of gardens, pools, statues, and shrines. The scent of roses and orchids perfumed the air. Luscious grass grew along the winding stone paths, and pools of clear, blue water shone cool and inviting.

  A breeze rushed through the air, and I sensed the smell of smoke and incense wafting down from the temples on their hills as the palace guard unlatched the gate and let us slip inside.

  When we stepped along the narrow courtyard paths, dusk settled over the gardens, but the outer torches stayed unlit. Darkness enveloped the grounds and dread settled in my belly. I didn’t speak even though I had a hundred questions about how Kadesh had managed to get us inside.

  We approached a door, were led down a hallway to another door, and the guard gave a light rap, speaking quickly and furtively, and then disappearing.

  The door opened and we were ushered inside. I was suddenly aware of my travel-worn cloak, my tangled hair, and the absence of any adornment. It was obvious that I was a poor camel herder’s daughter. The people who had bought Sahmril had titles and wealth and education. I had nothing to offer them. I feared they would laugh at us, but Kadesh had obviously bribed the guard well to give us an appointment with them.

  The space where we stood was a small waiting room, lit by candles in tall, brass holders. The windows overlooked the apartment gardens and a greenish pond of water lay flat under the rising moon. Shadows flickered everywhere and my nerves jangled; I was so eager to see Sahmril.

  We waited for what seemed like hours.

  I paced the floor, sure I would faint by the time the door across the room finally opened, and a middle-aged man with a gray beard entered.

  “I’m Thomas, a retired diplomat of King Zimrilim.” He studied us, taking in my destitute appearance, and turned to Kadesh, whose manner and cloak were far superior to mine. I felt the hair on my neck prickle when our eyes met and the nobleman quickly glanced away, but I tried to stay calm.

  “We understand that you want to speak to us about our daughter, Ramah,” Thomas finally said.

  I gasped, tears burning the back of my eyes. Their daughter! The words were so unexpected.

  “As you know, we’ve traced an infant girl to you,” Kadesh said. “A baby purchased several months ago through a rug merchant named Limhi.”

  Thomas nodded slowly. “We’re aware of this.”

  “And you still possess this child?”

  “She’s in our possession, you mean,” Thomas corrected.

  My legs trembled beneath me. The man’s demeanor and words were coming together in my mind, and I was having a hard time taking it in. “Kadesh,” I whispered as I sank to the floor.

  Thomas rang a bell and instantly a servant appeared with water and cups. I took one gratefully and sipped, the cool water clearing my head.

  Thomas cleared his throat. “Perhaps I should explain how we found Ramah. I’ve known the merchant Limhi for many years. He travels through Mesopotamia—Egypt as well as Ethiopia and Babylon—purchasing a variety of things for the king. Treasures, sculptures, works of art, animals. I oversee this pr
ocess. My wife and I are childless and it has always been our greatest dream to be parents. When Limhi heard of the girl child who had been bought by a Salem slave trader, he immediately purchased her and brought her to us. She was the baby we’ve wanted all our lives. Our daughter is beautiful, an answer to many prayers.”

  Silent tears trickled down my face, and Kadesh reached down to hold my hand. I no longer cared what anyone thought of our relationship. I would never see these people after tonight.

  “Where is she?” I asked, gulping back my tears. “May I see her, please?”

  Without answering me, Thomas strode across the room to a set of windows overlooking the courtyard ponds and waterfalls.

  “My wife and daughter are in the garden,” he said. “Zarah was going to bring her inside so you could see her, but now she has changed her mind.”

  “But she’s my sister! I’ve come so far, please, I beg of you.”

  The nobleman pursed his lips and made no reply.

  Kadesh stood next to me as we watched a servant holding a little girl in her arms appear through one of the garden gates, handing her over to the woman of the house, Zarah.

  The toddler had rosy cheeks and a mass of black curls. I recognized the baby’s eyes instantly. They were my mother’s: the same shining pools of dark water; the same fringe of lashes against her cheeks. Her perfect skin was Leila’s, her tangle of black curls mine.

  I watched as the toddler took several tiny steps, holding on to the servant’s fingers as she wiggled toward Zarah, who finally swept up the beautiful child—my sister—into her arms.

  My throat ached as Zarah nuzzled Sahmril’s neck and kissed her soft baby cheeks. I wanted to touch my little sister and hold her. I still remembered that sweet baby skin, the smell of her, and the fragility of a newborn infant. “Oh, Sahmril,” I cried, sagging against Kadesh. “She’s even more beautiful than I remembered. But it’s her—it’s truly her! We’ve found her at last.”

  Thomas turned to me. “So you think Ramah belongs to your family?”

  “I’m positive she’s my sister. The child of my mother, who died giving birth.”

  “Your mother is dead?” Thomas asked, staring out at his wife and the little girl as they fed bread crumbs to the ducks in the pond. “How did Limhi the merchant come to own her?”

  The lump in my throat grew bigger. “The woman who sold her was the wet nurse who kept her alive on the desert after we buried my mother.”

  Understanding flooded Thomas’s face, and then a brief flash of empathy. He watched me for several long moments. “I can tell that she looks like you,” he said rigidly. “Our daughter is going to be a beauty.”

  “Just like my mother,” I added. I recalled Judith telling me the very same thing the night of my betrothal celebration. A lifetime ago. A lifetime of pain and sorrow. “How long have you had her?” I finally asked, watching Zarah run her fingers through the silky, fine hair of my sister, nuzzling her neck and making her giggle.

  “Since she was about two months old. I estimate that she’s about nine months old now. She’s walking early.”

  I took a step forward, jerking out my hands. “Please, may I hold her?”

  Thomas shook his head. “She’s the child we always wanted, and we paid dearly for her.”

  I tried to stay calm. “I promised my mother on her deathbed that I would care for her, that I would make sure she was always safe.”

  I sucked in my breath when, through the windows, Zarah turned to meet my gaze straight on. I could tell that she wanted me and Kadesh to leave.

  Thomas cleared his throat. “You fulfilled your mother’s wish, then. Your sister is well and healthy and happy with us.”

  “But I always planned on returning for her. When I arrived in Mari, I fully expected Sahmril to be with Dinah and Nalla. That was the original plan.”

  “Plans change, don’t they? Good and bad happens to all of us, and it’s our turn for something good.”

  I stared at him, tempted to slap him. This man who had such a fine home, a title, wealth. Instead I quickly said, “I will pay you the same sum you used to buy her from the merchant. Plus more. In fact, double that amount for the cost of taking care of her.”

  Thomas’s face closed up. “I think you misunderstand. I wasn’t caring for this child for you. She’s my daughter, and I care for her because I love her. Ramah is mine and will be raised as my daughter in the household of the palace, with everything she ever needs or wants. One day she’ll be educated and will have a good marriage to a nobleman’s son. Which, I may add, you cannot give her.”

  Blood pounded in my skull as I quickly withdrew my bag of six frankincense nuggets. “You may have all of these for her.”

  Thomas snorted, clearly insulted.

  I frowned, knowing I’d blundered somehow, but I wasn’t sure.

  Kadesh stepped forward, his great cloak snapping the air. “And there are hundreds more of those where they came from. I can guarantee them from my personal groves. And as much silver and gold as you want. We’re not insulting you. We just want the child. She belongs with her blood family.”

  Thomas’s expression became severe as he stepped away from the windows. “We are Ramah’s family. We paid for her honestly and saved her from slavery. She is ours and not for sale.”

  “Then let me triple our offer,” Kadesh said, pressing harder. “And I will also give you one hundred head of camels and cattle and horses as well. This should be very welcomed, since King Zimrilim and the city of Mari may fall soon.”

  Thomas gave me an angry glare. “Why would my wife and I ever turn this child over to you? To be dirty and hungry and poor. She will never be for sale again, no matter the price. We’ve gone to the legal authorities and done the paperwork as her permanent parents. There is no price you can name for her. Now go!”

  I reared back as though I’d been slapped. My eyes spilled with a thousand tears and Kadesh pulled me close. “Come, Jayden,” he said softly. “Let us go and leave these good people in peace.”

  “No, no, I can’t!” I was frantic, desperate. “Please let me hold her just once. Please, I beg you again!”

  I ran to the window, but Zarah was already shepherding Sahmril out of my sight, far on the other side of the courtyard into a different wing of the house.

  “I do not plan to take her,” I said, the pain in my chest sharp and excruciating. “It’s just that I’ve come such a long ways to find her—”

  Suddenly we heard the sound of screams, yells, and shouts from across the palace grounds, and then the dreadful noise of pounding feet.

  The door to the nobleman’s apartment rattled violently. A servant quickly opened it.

  A guard stood outside, sword drawn. “You must leave at once!” he commanded. “Hammurabi has stormed the palace walls and everyone must evacuate or be killed. The traitor’s soldiers are swarming the place, and the palace is burning even as we speak.”

  The smell of acrid smoke permeated the room.

  Thomas began to shout orders to the servants, then he fled, casting a final glance at us over his shoulder.

  I started to run after him, knowing they would escape with Sahmril right before my eyes, but Kadesh held me back. “We have to get out of here, Jayden. Now!”

  “Thomas!” Kadesh yelled, stopping the older man in his tracks. It became apparent that Thomas was prepared for a full-blown attack on the palace. His servants had their belongings and food packed and ready to go.

  “Where do we go?” Kadesh asked him, his eyes boring into the older man’s face. “You know we have nothing to do with this and came here in good faith. Please tell us the safest exit!”

  Thomas flicked his eyes to another servant, a burly man with a sword and dagger at his waist. “This man will lead you out of here. Once you’re off the palace grounds you’re on your own.”

  Kadesh nodded, and pulled me out the door with him. Smoke filled the courtyard and ash drifted into the beautiful pools of water, blocking out the st
arry sky. I could hear the chilling roar of flames in the distance even though I couldn’t see them.

  As we raced down corridors and then outer garden pathways, the screams of the night grew worse. The bedlam of palace noblemen, employees, and servants filled every inch of space as people ran carrying baskets and trunks of belongings. We were tossed and pulled and pushed and shoved. I gripped Kadesh’s arm as we followed Thomas’s servant to the outer palace wall, and he pointed to a door farther down set in the stone. Other citizens had already flung the door open and were streaming through to safety.

  “I suggest you head for the desert through there,” the servant said brusquely.

  “I already planned to,” Kadesh told him, but before he finished his sentence the servant had disappeared into the madness of the night and screams and smoke.

  While Kadesh and I ran toward the crush of escaping people at the open gates, images of Sahmril filled my eyes. I was pummeled and jostled and elbowed for what seemed like hours, but I couldn’t get her out of my sight.

  The streets of Mari were in chaos. Everywhere soldiers on horses, people running, carrying baskets of food and bedding. Shouts and screams became a roar, the sight of fighting, swords ringing together until my ears hurt. Women screamed and I saw men staggering and bloody. It had all happened so fast. In the last light of day, as people were eating dinner and unprepared.

  On Kadesh’s heels, I kept my hand clenched tightly to a fold of his cloak so we didn’t get separated as we entered the city from the palace compound. I focused on getting out, finding our camels, and leaving Mari forever.

  What would happen to Nalla and Dinah? Shem was fighting for Hammurabi, so perhaps they would be spared. Or they would surrender to the Babylonian soldiers when they went door-to-door to ransack and arrest.

  “Where are the camels tethered?” I asked Kadesh when we turned a corner.

  “In the back alley behind Nalla’s house. We’ll get the saddles and gear and our belongings, then head as fast as we can for the north gate and the desert.”

  “But we came in through the south gates.”

  “The northern gates are much closer to Nalla’s house. We’ll fill our water bags in the river and flee to the desert as fast as we can.”