The Lunatic's Curse

  ‘No!’ shouted Rex. ‘Leave her alone.’

  Rex watched helplessly as Tibor stood over Hildred and began to swing the Lodestone back and forth. He tried not to listen to his caressing, silky tones but how could he not? The shadow of the Lodestone was immense and filled the room as it swung back and forth, back and forth across her. Rex had to look away.

  ‘Now, my dear Hildred,’ crooned Tibor leaning right over her. ‘Tell me the truth, have you read that book?’

  ‘No,’ she replied evenly.

  Rex was surprised at her cool-headed response. He recalled she had boasted that she was immune to his charms but he doubted her resolve would last much longer.

  ‘What do you know about me?’

  ‘Merely that you are a doctor of the mind,’ replied Hildred dully. ‘A renowned one.’ Tibor bristled visibly with pride.

  ‘And my companions?’

  ‘Gerulphus is the caretaker and Walter rows the boat. Mrs Runcible is the cook.’

  ‘Do you know where we came from?’

  ‘I believe you are from Urbs Umida. I do not know about the others.’

  While Hildred so expertly avoided the questions, Rex was battling the urge to blurt out the answers. He began to repeat over and over in his head the poem he knew –

  Oh, how I love to wander, wander, wander

  Wander, wander along.

  And as I go, a-ho-ho-ho,

  I always sing this song.

  – but he couldn’t get past the first verse. He just couldn’t block out the torment of that mellifluous voice of exquisite temptation. Oh please don’t let him ask me, he begged inwardly.

  ‘What about Andrew Faye?’

  ‘I do not know that name,’ said Hildred in a monotone.

  Rex marvelled at her self-control.

  ‘Hmm,’ said Tibor, staring down at Hildred. ‘She’s a tough one. But a few hours down here will loosen you both up. And, if need be, I have plenty of tools here to aid in your confession.’ He looked at his pocket watch. ‘Well, Rex,’ he said, ‘as you know, I have to go for a while. There’s a full moon tonight and I must take advantage of it. Shame you won’t be there to see it. But do not worry; I will be back, after my voyage.’ He looked at Gerulphus. ‘Leave them here,’ he said. ‘They’re not going anywhere. But you and I, we need to talk.’

  And with that Gerulphus and Tibor left. Above the thundering of his heart Rex heard the door being locked and then the rattle of the padlock. He glanced over at Hildred. She was squirming about, a look of intense concentration on her face.

  ‘Hildred,’ he hissed, afraid that Gerulphus might be listening at the door.

  She didn’t answer, just wriggled some more, and for one terrible moment he thought she might be in some sort of trance.

  ‘Hildred,’ he hissed again, louder this time, and he saw his spittle fly across the gap between them and land on her face. She started – as much as she could, being so tightly tied down – and turned to face him.

  ‘What is it?’ she said. ‘I’m concentrating.’

  ‘How did you do that, not answer his questions? He even had me going under. His voice is just so hypnotic.’

  Hildred smiled at him. ‘It was easy,’ she said. ‘Didn’t you know, Rex? I’m deaf. I can’t hear a thing.’

  44

  The Maiden Voyage of Indagator Gurgitis

  ‘That will be all, Mrs Runcible,’ said Dr Velhildegildus curtly, half pushing her out of the study. ‘I do not wish to be disturbed again tonight. Please make sure that I am not.’

  ‘Very well, Dr Velhildegildus,’ she said, backing out reluctantly, waving the cup. ‘But I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t warn you. You can’t argue with the leaves. It’s been every day this week.’

  Tibor tutted with intense irritation as he locked the door.

  Gerulphus was waiting by the bookcase. ‘That woman and her damned tea leaves!’ he laughed. ‘A monster, she says, in the dregs! I can’t see it.’

  ‘In my experience people see what they want to see,’ said Tibor. He went to the window and looked out at the full moon. Perfect timing. He would sort out those meddling children later, when it was all over. Actually, maybe he would just leave them in the torture chamber for Gerulphus to sort out. He had no more use for them.

  ‘I must say, Gerulphus, you’ve been very reasonable about the whole business.’

  ‘Forgive and forget, I say,’ said Gerulphus.

  ‘Very noble,’ replied Tibor. I suppose the promise of a bag of diamonds always helps, he thought, then said out loud, ‘Shall we go?’

  Without further delay Tibor pulled on Gibbon and slipped through the secret entrance, followed wordlessly by Gerulphus, to meet his glorious destiny.

  Gerulphus was suitably, if monosyllabically, impressed by the machine, all for Tibor’s benefit of course – after all, he had secretly watched it being built. Tibor, however, was barely able to contain his excitement as he stood by Indagator Gurgitis. The water was now only a few feet away from the machine.

  ‘Take my Lodestone,’ said Tibor, handing it to Gerulphus. ‘There are magnets in the Re-breather; Rex said it might affect it.’ And, he thought, I won’t be needing it again.

  Taking a deep breath Tibor put his hand firmly on the ladder. This was it, the moment he had been waiting for. With this machine he was to discover the secrets of the lake and harvest its treasure for himself and himself alone. Well, a few for Gerulphus, for his silence, and perhaps he would send something back to Melvyn Halibutte.

  It had not been easy for him to return to Droprock Island. It held painful memories. But it was worth it: with Indagator and the diamonds, and Acantha, he would be richer than he could ever have imagined.

  Tibor climbed quickly to the top of the craft and dropped lightly into the gleaming metal ovaloid. Once inside hepulled down the hatch, spinning the lock until it was tight. He took his seat at the controls with gleeful anticipation. The panel in front of him was simple enough: white buttons, shiny brass toggle switches, four small levers and a large central lever on a ball. That was the beauty of a lever-and-cogwheel-based engine, clean and simple. None of that steam and choking smoke he had heard about. He switched on the Re-breather, waited for the green light, and then for the second time he pushed buttons and flicked switches to bring about the satisfying thrum of the engine. He flexed his fingers and closed his hands around the main lever. Slowly he pulled it towards him and in a matter of seconds the whole machine rose smoothly upward, supported by its four long legs.

  Indagator Gurgitis was alive!

  Effortlessly and smoothly, on account of the hydrolastic suspension, the deceptively strong legs carried Indagator’s weight towards the lake’s edge. Tibor’s heart was racing as first one leg and then a second stepped into the dark water. ‘Calm yourself, calm yourself,’ he said gently – indeed, was he not the best person to advise himself in those matters!

  In the rear window he could see Gerulphus standing on the promontory holding a stick. He gave him a parting wave as forward he went, watching the water rise higher and higher on the glass, until finally he and Indagator were completely submerged.

  Tibor was more than a little relieved when the exterior lights (Rex’s idea – what a clever use of the luminous lichen!) lit up the way ahead, albeit in blue.

  Give the boy credit, he thought. Grammaticus knows his stuff.

  And Tibor Velhildegildus knew that he was on a journey that no other living person had undertaken. In some ways that was more important even than jewels.

  After a short distance, the lake floor began to drop. Tibor was concerned that the ovaloid might not be able to cope with the slope but he was soon reassured as to her stability and together, man and machine, they made their steady progress into the depths. He looked out in wonder at the alien world through which he was now travelling. He marvelled to think that his eyes were the only eyes ever to behold the creatures down here, creatures that none above even knew existed.

  ‘And
they say nothing lives in the lake!’ he murmured.

  How wrong they were, for it veritably teemed with life.

  All manner of oddities swam past his windows: transparent fish, of sorts, with huge eyes and each possessed of an alien beauty. And the colours! Vibrant blues and greens and mauves (he was reminded of his foulard which he had burned) and other hues he could not even name. For a second he actually believed there might be Paradise on earth.

  The slope gradually levelled out so he tilted the blue beams downwards to scan the lake floor and then his heart somersaulted. The entire floor of the lake was covered in thousands, millions perhaps, of glittering jewels of every colour and size: rubies, sapphires, emeralds and, yes, diamonds.

  ‘Oh my,’ he said over and over again. ‘Hooper was right. I am to be wealthy beyond my wildest dreams.’

  The two arms at the front of his elegant craft reached out and began to gather in the jewels. As they raked through the sandy bottom, little sparkling clouds rose into the water, like stars in the sky, then fell back down to the lake floor. The mechanical fingers scooped them up and dropped them into a net which allowed the sand to filter through, along with the smallest of the jewels, but not the larger ones.

  Tibor was aquiver with excitement. As he gathered the shimmering harvest, he was planning a glittering future. He would travel the world; he would never have to work again, never have to listen to another idle wealthy woman’s trivial complaints (by all accounts a spell in the care of Chapelizod would sort most of them out. Whatever did happen to that fellow anyway?). And then there was Acantha – or perhaps he should call her Meredith. What a wonderful woman. Introducing him again to the delights of the Society of Andrew Faye. He had not had enough of that over the years! When they escaped all those years ago they had decided, despite their blossoming love, that for safety’s sake they should go their separate ways. And now, so much to catch up on.

  He mused on. He would have no obligations, no ties. For that’s what money bought you: not material goods, but freedom. He thought back ten years to the night of his escape. Over a number of weeks, using both his voice and his Lodestone, he had persuaded the then superintendent that he was perfectly sane. Unbelievably the foolish fellow had not only released Tibor (then Claude, of course) but had taken him to his study where, still under the influence of the Lodestone, he had proudly shown him the entrance to the catacombs. His last words were, ‘I had it built as a precaution in case the lunatics ever broke out.’

  Free and in possession of the keys, Tibor had released Meredith and his cellmate Gerulphus, and they had made good their escape down to the rocky pier. It was only then that they realized that there was no way the boat would hold the three of them. In those days Gerulphus really was immensely overweight.

  Of course, I could probably have cured his appetites with the Lodestone Procedure if I’d had the time, thought Tibor, but it was not to be.

  So he and Acantha had pushed off and left Gerulphus on the shore.

  What a surprise it had been when he had met him again! He hadn’t recognized him at first, he was so thin, but then tonight in the torture chamber, when it really mattered, Gerulphus didn’t let him down. They both knew what was in that book. But the diamonds would be reward enough. His debt was paid.

  One more netful, Tibor decided, and then he would ascend. Tomorrow when the water subsided he would be off. I wonder if Indagator could cross the entire lake, he mused, but of course the Re-breather wouldn’t last that long. Well, now that I know Indagator works, my future is secure.

  He had it all planned. He was going to dismantle the machine and have it transported to Urbs Umida. In fact really he only needed the Re-breather, that was the most important part. He still had the plans, he knew it could be built, and he had his haul of jewels. Either way, he was a winner.

  And he had Acantha too. Just his sort of woman.

  We share the same tastes, he thought, and laughed.

  The atmosphere in the ovaloid was becoming a little stuffy, a sign, Rex had warned him, that the Re-breather was reaching its limit, but he knew he had another hour or so left, plenty of time to get back to the surface. At that moment a large fish passed by the window and Tibor watched in amusement as it rubbed itself violently in the bejewelled sand on the lake floor. To his surprise he saw that some of the jewels lodged in its scales.

  ‘Now wouldn’t you want to be the fisherman who hauled that in!’ he said to himself. On an impulse he extended the arms again and caught the fish. But the fish was not going to give up without a fight and it struggled and flapped about so much that it managed to free itself. Then to Tibor’s amazement it started to charge at the window, hitting it repeatedly. ‘Bad-tempered little fellow,’ said Tibor. He withdrew the arms, swivelled his chair to face the other direction and readied himself to return to dry land.

  It was only then that he saw the large dark shape moving through the water. At first he thought he had imagined it. It was just out of range of the lights. He leaned forward and peered into the gloom. There was definitely something out there. It passed across the window again, nearer this time, and Tibor could see that it too had scaly glittering skin.

  His heart stuttered when he saw the smaller fish swim towards it. The similarity was immediately obvious. There was no doubt in Tibor’s mind that these two were related. He began to feel uneasy. The larger fish – much, much larger, he realized – was now only feet away from the craft and filled the entire window as it passed. It was not in any way attractive, with its jutting-out jaw sporting long, furled tentacles, its grotesque jelly-like eyes, its ugly six-toed flippers, its black fins and the powerful tail. Even the jewels caught in its scales could not make it any less repulsive.

  ‘It’s merely curious,’ said Tibor, trying to convince himself as it swam past again. And then, to his great relief, it changed direction and swam away into the darkness. Quickly he initiated the walking sequence and Indagator took one step forward, but before it could make any more progress something hit the side of the craft with such force that he was thrown violently sideways and cracked his head on the main lever.

  Tibor swore softly, reeling from the shock. The vessel righted itself but there was another tremendous blow and he was thrown forward to hit his head on the window.

  ‘What on earth!’ he exclaimed.

  He turned in his chair, his head throbbing and his vision blurred. He looked out of the window and saw to his utter horror the cause of the blows. ‘God’s blood and bones!’ he shouted, and braced himself for the impact.

  The monstrous fish, that grotesque manifestation, was attacking him.

  Then everything began to happen at once. An alarm sounded. Tibor looked around wildly. ‘What now?’ he shouted. He saw a flashing red light. The Re-breather! It couldn’t be – it should have an hour to go. His chest tightened. He was running out of air. In desperation he banged on the Re-breather. The front panel dislodged and something dropped out into his hand.

  It was a little brazen egg. On the side of it was scratched:

  Tibor gasped for breath and in horror. This egg was his craft, his Indagator in miniature, complete with the ladder and the legs, the hatch and the windows. There was something tucked under the hatch. Tibor pulled out a piece of paper, unfolded it and read:

  ‘He knew all along,’ whispered Tibor. ‘He knew.’

  He saw the fish coming straight at him, its gaping maw as wide as a cave, and he saw its jagged teeth as the jaws closed around him and he was propelled down its throat into its belly. And before the lights went out he saw in its bilious gut even more diamonds. He laughed like the maniac he was. He should have known.

  It was all in the tea leaves.

  45

  Loose Ends

  Gerulphus sat in Tibor’s study with his feet on the desk and examined his polished boots. They were Tibor’s but he didn’t think he would be needing them now. The Lodestone swung gently back and forth from his right hand. In front of him was the record book an
d beside that a large pile of gems: his own collection; a few from the underground shore, but mainly prised from the creature’s scales.

  Gerulphus thought about the last few weeks. He had enjoyed playing at caretaker. And what pleasure he’d got from feeding those vile warders to the big fish. He laughed softly. Patience is a virtue, they say. Well no one could deny that he had been patient. Ten years he had lived down in that maze, since the night Dr Velhildegildus (or Claude Boughton as he was known then) and that vile woman had rowed away, leaving him on the shore. He was too fat, they said; he would have sunk the boat. He was captured soon after, blindfolded and taken deep into the maze by the head warder, a punishment for unruly lunatics. But Gerulphus had tasted freedom and he wasn’t going to give it up so easily. Turning on the warder he used his bulk to flatten the life out of him and took his keys.

  For the first time in his life, Gerulphus was thankful that he was fat. For it was on that very fat and flesh that he lived as he crawled systematically in the dark like a mole searching for the way out. There was plenty to drink; if you dug in the sand you reached water very quickly. He always crawled downward, marking his pathways with piles of bones, certain that one day he would find his way back to the door in the torture chamber. And he did.

  By then he had grown used to underground life, enjoyed it even, so he took to popping in and out of the asylum for food, usually at night, when no one was looking. It amused him to think that he was the cause of all the speculation about the ghost in the maze. They came looking for him sometimes but they never found him. He was well aware of the new superintendent, Cadmus Chapelizod, and heard the screams from the torture chamber as he and his warders carried out their ‘cures’.

  And then one day he found the blue chamber and the underground lake. He had seen the monstrous fish many times; it visited the underground lake almost every day. It was only recently it had begun showing up with diamonds in its scales. To get near it he began to feed it: dead lunatics from the walls, then, when there was the breakout, he took great delight in throwing the cruel warders into its jaws. They had come down to the maze to hide and he had caught them easily in the dark. He kept them in the cell near the lake. They deserved it, the way they had ill-treated the lunatics.